


Welcome to the Heist

by MtheRenegade



Series: Welcome to the Heist [1]
Category: Grand Theft Auto V, Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe-GTA V, Betrayal, Comedy, Explicit Language, Fake AH Crew, GTA V-verse, Gavin's Heist, Grand Heist, Heist, Jack's Heist, Michael's Heist, Prison Break Heist, Ray's Heist, Ryan's Heist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-13
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-03-07 11:28:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 32
Words: 112,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3172584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MtheRenegade/pseuds/MtheRenegade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Fake AH Crew is the laughing stock of Los Santos and the shame of the Rooster Teeth Crime Syndicate. All their small jobs end up in chaos and destruction (including a lot of dead farm animals.) They have one more chance to prove they aren't just a bunch of idiot nerds so Geoff comes up with the greatest idea ever--a heist. All six of them will work together so what could possibly go wrong? (Spoiler Alert: Everything.)</p>
<p>Loosely follows the six Achievement Hunter heists, the Grand Heist, and the Prison Break.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In the Hole

“Listen up assholes!”

Geoff Ramsey grit his teeth as he observed that the assholes were in fact not listening up. Instead, they continued to talk, argue, or in the case of Gavin and Michael, fight to see who could hold the other down the longest. (Michael was winning.)

“I said listen up!”

Ryan and Jack were arguing over the pair’s latest attempted robbery, which had left a trail of twelve dead and/or maimed civilians and three dead cows in their wake. Jack was busy calling Ryan a lunatic while Ryan was insisting that killing cows sent a message: no one is safe.

“Guys!”

Ray continued to play Pokemon on his 3DS, shouting triumphantly every time his whatever-mon killed his opponent’s something-or-other-chu. Geoff couldn't care less what he was playing, but the point was that he was not listening either.

“I said…LISTEN!” Geoff pulled out his gun, raised it above his head, and fired a shot into the ceiling. One of the florescent lights exploded in a shower of glass and sparks and silenced the room as the others looked at Geoff in shock.

“Geoff, what the hell?” Michael shouted, letting Gavin up off the floor. “Matt is gonna bust your ass when he hears you took out another light.”

“Well if you idiots would pay attention, I wouldn’t have to shoot out the god damn lights,” Geoff snapped back.

“And you all call me crazy,” Ryan muttered.

“Cows!” Jack yelled at Ryan. “Dead fucking cows, Ryan. Where did you even find cows in Los Santos?”

“Oh, I can always find meat,” Ryan said with an evil grin.

“Ryan’s a lunatic,” Gavin said as everyone stared at the madman uncomfortably.

“Do I need to shoot the ceiling again?” Geoff threatened, waving his gun.

“Shut the fuck up and let Geoff talk,” Ray said, finally closing the DS.

“Thanks,” Geoff said to the younger man. Geoff surveyed his crew for a minute and, not for the first time, wondered how he ended up leading such a large group of incompetent dickheads.

It all had started out so well. About twelve years back, he had started The Rooster Teeth Crime Syndicate with his friends Burnie, Matt, Gus, and Jason. They dealt in petty crimes and drug trafficking under the front of a now wildly successful internet webseries, Red vs. Blue. They were actors and filmmakers by day and crime lords by night. Things went well and eventually Burnie suggested that Geoff start a side project called Achievement Hunter. They would record video game achievement hunting and play throughs on the business side of things while serving as Rooster Teeth's gang front for the Syndicate.  Geoff chose Jack “the Beard” Pattillo as his right hand man and they recruited several other members overtime. Jack was a good balance for Geoff, being slightly calmer and more rational. He was also a genius behind the controls of an aircraft or the wheel of a car, making him superb getaway driver.

Gavin “the Brit” Free, the nerdy Brittish guy who’d been long-time friends with Burnie, was their first recruit. He wasn’t the smart bulb in the box, but he was entertaining and he did have a weirdly positive attitude no matter how many jobs they failed to do. He was also a fairly decent shot though God help you if you ever needed him to drive a car or fly a helicopter. Vehicles had odd tendencies to crash whenever he was involved.

After Gavin, Burnie and Matt discovered Michael “Rage Quit” Jones on YouTube. He was a loud mouth, angry guy who was a whiz with video games and creative with explosives. He also had money, connections, a cushy apartment downtown, and brought a decent cash and equipment boost to the gang to finance their activities. Unfortunately his rage tended to get the better of him and he would often accidentally sabotage an operation when things spiraled out of control.

Ray “Brown Man” Narvaez Jr. was recruited for his sharp shooting skills and his insanely good video games skills. He was the best of the best behind both controllers and guns. He was also the sole member of the gang that didn’t botch things up…but Gavin had a tendency to partner with Ray and drag them both down into failure. He also didn't take things nearly as seriously as a criminal probably should.

Their last recruit was Ryan “The Mad King” Haywood. Ryan was a great shot, a good driver, and a great gamer. But, as his street name suggested, he was bat shit fucking crazy. He was often responsible for the trail of dead bodies and exploded buildings the gang left behind. He also had a nasty tendency to betray his fellow gang members, leaving them to get shot or arrested. He generally made up for it by taking down the cops before they could nab whoever he had double crossed, but it was something of a nuisance. Geoff begged Burnie and Matt to get rid of the guy but his skills were too valuable…and everyone was a little afraid to piss him off.

Together they were the Fake AH Crew…and they were the worst gang Los Santos had ever seen.

“Guys, we are the worst gang Los Santos has ever seen,” Geoff said.

“Tell us something we don’t know,” Ray said immediately.

“Fuck off Ray,” Geoff said distractedly. “Look we have yet to complete the simplest of jobs. Things always start off well, but when shit gets critical, everyone loses their god damn minds.”

“Ryan lost his a while ago,” Gavin pointed out, making everyone except Geoff nod in agreement.

“Wish you could the say the same about your virginity, huh, Gavin?” Ryan shot back.

Gavin opened his mouth to retort, but Geoff slammed his fist down on the table. “This is serious guys! Matt and Burnie are going to replace our asses if we don’t pull off something big soon.”

“Replace us?” Michael asked. “But doesn’t that mean—?”

“Yes,” Geoff said. “Yes it does mean that they will kill us the fuck off. So if you idiots want to keep your damn jobs and your fucking lives, we need to do something big and we need to do it well.”

“What do you suggest?” Jack asked. “We are awful with our petty crimes. Ryan couldn’t even pull off a simple robbery. Gavin failed to jack Simeon’s car and instead jacked Burnie’s and crashed it. Michael flipped shit on his drug deal and got everyone but himself killed and Ray executed the wrong fucking gang member because Gavin insisted that he go along and identified the wrong target.” Jack shook his head. “Poor Jason. Matt was not happy about that.”

“Let’s not forget the fact that Jack flew the stolen private jet over the military base and got shot the fuck down,” Ryann added. Jack clenched a fist and snarled at the other man, who grinned.

Geoff sighed. “Yes I know, y’all suck something awful in your individual and pair jobs. But you all have your strengths.”

“Even Gavin?” Ray asked.

“Even Gavin,” Geoff said. "Though fuck if I know what it is."

“So what do you suggest then?” Jack asked again.

“Well,” Geoff said carefully. “We suck alone and in pairs, but maybe if we work in a group we can somehow balance each other out. Six brains have to be better than one or two right?”

“In theory,” Ryan said dryly.

“Here’s what I’m thinking,” Geoff said as he went to his desk and pulled out a sheath of papers and a long, rolled up map, which he unfurled and pinned to the wall. On it he had routes inked out in red and several locations circled and starred. His gang looked at the map for a second and then looked back at Geoff slightly awed.

“You wanna do a big job,” Jack said, understanding Geoff’s intent.

“Yup,” Geoff said, grinning evilly. “I wanna do a heist.”


	2. Let's Heist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geoff plans out the Crew's first heist. With a little luck, it might not go awry...right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for all the dialogue in this chapter, but it is the planning stage. Next chapter we'll get to the action!

“I don’t know about this,” Jack said. “We’ve never done a job this big.”

“Exactly! That’s why it’s the perfect plan!” Geoff exclaimed, his voice cracking on the last word in his eagerness. The others did not seem so sure but they did not question their leader when he had that semi-insane glint in his eyes.  
  
“What’s the plan, boss man?’ Gavin asked.

“So glad you asked Gavin!” Geoff turned to the wall where had had tacked up his map and other papers and rubbed his hands together eagerly. While he had some doubts about the plan, he was hopeful that working together would solve the issues they always seemed to have. Even better, this was a big job: a lot of robbing and a lot of killing. The last part wasn’t ideal, but they couldn’t afford any more heat. Despite their failures (or perhaps because of the disastrous natures of their failures) they were highly sought after by the police so this needed to go smoothly. The rush Geoff felt right before crime was seizing him though, and he couldn’t help but get excited.

“This is Los Santos,” he said, slapping the map with his hand. “We all know it. We all love it…kinda. Now we need it to give us a little bit of coin to prove that we are not a shit gang.”

“And to prevent Burnie and Matt bumping us off,” Ray added.

“That too,” Geoff said. “Now, I have identified a low priority target that should net us somewhere in the neighborhood of two grand.”

“Two grand?” Michael asked. “That’s it?”

Geoff turned and scowled at Michael. “It’s not about the money, Michael. It’s about proving we can actually do something without fucking it up. We gotta start small because you assholes can’t do anything right.”

“Two grand isn’t small,” Michael snapped back. “Two grand is nothing.”

Geoff pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger in frustration. “Look, if we are successful, then I’ll let you fuckers plan a bigger heist. Hell if we fuck up, you can plan a different one. For right now, we start small.”

“You’ll really let us plan a heist?” Gavin asked, excitedly.

“If this gets fucked up, sure,” Geoff said, turning back to his map. “But it won’t get fucked up. Or else,” he added, throwing a murderous look over his shoulder. “As I was saying, two grand. You guys know the 24-hour convenience store by the car wash right?” The crew nodded. “It’s in South Los Santos. That’s our target.”

Geoff turned back to the group. “Gavin,” he said, pointing at the Brit, “you and I are going to rob the place.”

“Plan G!” Gavin crowed excitedly, yelling out the team name he and Geoff used when partnering up on jobs. “Yeah!”

“Plan G,” Geoff agreed. “Ray, you’re going to be our sniper. You’re the best shot.”

“Fuck yeah I am,” Ray said.

“You are going to cover me and Gav as we come out of the store,” Geoff explained.

“Isn’t that a two person job?” Ryan asked. “I just as good a shot, send me with Ray.”

“Fuck you,” Ray said to Ryan. “I want to live.” Ryan scowled but Ray just grinned. Of all the duos, Ryan and Ray were slightly less idiotic, working fairly well together. The problem was that no one, not even Ray, trusted Ryan to keep his sanity all the way through a job.

“Ryan, you’re the boat guy,” Geoff said quickly as Ryan looked murderous. “You get to steal and drive the getaway boat.”

Ryan considered this, likely thinking about what havoc he could wreak with a boat. It must have been enough for him because he nodded in assent and gave Geoff a thumbs up.

“Jack, you’re the driver,” Geoff told his right hand man.

“Obviously,” Jack said with a smug grin.

“And finally Michael,” Geoff said, pointing at the younger man. “You get to do what you do best and blow shit up.”

Michael grinned. “Wild card!”

“Not that wild,” Geoff said firmly.

Turning back to the map, he pointed at the circled location labeled “target” and looked back at his crew. “This right here is our target, here on the corner of Innocence and Elgin—24-hour convenience store by the hands free car wash. ”

“Sweet!” Ray shouted. “We’re going shopping!”

“Shut the fuck up,” Geoff shouted over the laughs that followed. “Gavin, Jack, and I will roll up in an unmarked black SUV with tinted windows and Gavin and I will rob the place.” Geoff gestured at Jack. “Jack, while we’re inside, I need you to plant sticky bombs around the store—on the sidewalks, nearby walls whatever, just toss a bunch of ‘em around. We wanna cause maximum carnage to confuse the cops.”

“I can do carnage,” Jack said calmly with a grin. “In fact, I can do it without blowing you up, unlike some people,” he said, glaring at Gavin.

“That was one time,” Gavin muttered.

“Ray, you’ll be on the roof sniping, giving us enough cover to get away,” Geoff continued. “At that point, Jack will drive us down Innocence and take the first right onto Power Street. There will be an alley on our left that we need to turn into.”

“Got it,” Jack replied.

“Michael,” Geoff said, pointing to the alley on his map. “You’ll be in that alley in a large truck or bus—something big.”

“The bigger the better,” Michael said cheerfully.

“Exactly,” Geoff replied, pleased that they all seemed to be getting into the plan and paying attention. “Jack will roll in and you’ll pull forward blocking off the alley from the cops. I want that truck or whatever rigged to blow, can you do that?”

“Consider it done,” Michael said with a salute.

“I mean it,” Geoff said. “It needs to blow—no hair, no fibers, nothing.”

“Total destruction!”

“Right,” Geoff said with a thumbs up. “Ok, Ryan. You are going to find a boat and bring it to the docks at Puerto Del Sol. After you get the boat in position, you will meet Michael in the alley and get in one of the two identical SUVs. Keep it running. Once Jack, Gavin, and I get in the alley way, I hop in with you and you gun it out of there, heading for the boat. Jack and Gavin will take the second SUV and confuse the cops. Michael, blow up the first one.”

“What about me?” Ray asked, raising his hand. “You just gonna leave me on the roof to die?”

“Glad you asked,” Geoff said pointing at Ray and winking, much to Ray’s discomfort. “Ray, before you take position on the roof, you will get a motorcycle and plant it nearby in the alley, far enough away where it won’t be blown up by Michael, but close enough where you won’t get got.”

Geoff turned away from the map and pointed to the papers in front of him. “All right, so here’s the layout.” He looked up at Ryan. “Ryan, you and I are Alpha Team. You get the boat to Puerto De Sol, drive the getaway car with me in to the boat, then drive the nondescript vehicle I will set up at the docks all the way to Mount Chiliad.”

“Got it,” Ryan said.

“Gavin, Jack,” Geoff said looking over at them. “Bravo team, Bravo One and Bravo Two. You two will plant the identical SUVs in the alley and Jack you’ll get the getaway SUV. While Gavin and I hit the store, you’ll cause chaos with bombs and then get away. Once entering the alley, you two take one of the SUVs and head east, leading the cops away and approach Mount Chiliad from there.”

“Can do,” Jack said.

“Can I drive?” Gavin asked.

“No,” replied everyone.

“And Ray and Michael, you’re Charlie team,” Geoff said. “Ray you set up the motorcycle for you and Michael then take up position to snipe from the roof. Michael you plant the giant vehicle covered in explosives and blow the getaway vehicle and truck. Lead the cops away and meet us at Mount Chiliad.”

“Roger that boss!” Ray and Michael said in unison.

Geoff straightened up from his maps and charts and surveyed his team.

“One last thing,” he said, his voice deadly serious. “No witnesses, no trail. Every car you use, every vehicle you steal, and every witness you see…they all need to go. No evidence, no witnesses. Got it?”

“I’m on board,” Ryan said instantly. The other agreed more hesitantly, all giving Ryan his normal “You’re crazy” look.

Geoff was confident in Jack’s abilities—he’d work with him long enough—but he wasn’t sure about the others. Gavin could either be an asset or he’d ruin the whole thing which is why Geoff paired him with Jack who was more level headed. Ryan was insane, but he excelled at dodging cops and he had a grudging respect for Geoff so it was less likely he’d turn on him or step out of line. Michael and Ray were the best with guns and weapons so they stood the best chance at both surviving on a motorcycle and causing enough chaos to cover the others.

He was playing to the crews strengths and with a little luck, they may make it.

“You are forgetting one thing,” Ryan said, leaning forward and fixing Geoff with his most charming smile.

“What?”

“Masks!” Ryan said.

“That’s true!” Michael said. “We need to conceal our faces. No witnesses, right?”

“Ryan the mask guy,” Ray said excitedly. “I like it.”

Geoff rubbed his eye tiredly. ”All right fine…masks. If there’s nothing else, we’ll meet at Michael’s apartment tomorrow at 3. We good?” The others nodded. “All right. Get the fuck outta here.”

They left, laughing and joking about the heist to come. Geoff sat down at his desk, dropped the air of optimism, and buried his face in his hands.

“We’re so fucking doomed.”


	3. The Best Laid Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Fake AH Crew scopes out their location, Ryan earns his nickname, and Gavin squawks like a bird.

The Fake AH Crew met up the next day at Michael’s fancy penthouse downtown. His wife, Lindsay, had vacated the premises, letting the boys do what they needed to do. They occasionally called Lindsay in on jobs, but Geoff had decided it was best to leave her out on this one.

Jack sat at Michael’s dining room table, giving his guns a last minute inspection before loading them and securing them to his person. Ryan was propped against the wall in the corner, staring around at everyone through his customary skull mask that he always wore on jobs. Gavin was at the bar sipping a glass of red wine and trading jabs with Michael, who was next to him drinking whiskey. Ray, wearing his tuxedo shirt and white eye mask in what he called his Tuxedo Mask get up, had hit the bong when he arrived and was staring out the window at the lights of the city of Los Santos.

“All right guys,” Geoff said, securing the ammo clip in his gun and looking at his gang, who for once immediately shut the fuck up. “Everyone know their code name and jobs? Jack?”

Jack tucked his own gun into his jacket and stood up. “Bravo one, I’m stealing three identical SUVS, leaving two in the alley and using one to drive you and Gavin to the 24/7. Gavin and I will escape in another one and lead the cops away from you and Ryan while I set off a bunch of explosives.”

“Gavin?”

“Bravo Two,” Gavin chirped. “I’m helping Jack nick the cars and helping you rob and kill the clerk. Then Jack and I escape in the other SUV.”

“Ryan?”

“Alpha Two, I’m getting the boat to Puerto Del Sol,” Ryan said, not moving from the wall. “I’m driving you to the boat and we escape by sea. Then we grab your planted vehicle and escape to Mount Chiliad.”

“Michael?”

“Charlie One, I’m getting a bus or truck r something and parking it in the alley, setting it with explosives. Once you all pull through, I pull forward blocking the cops and blow the thing to hell once you guys get clear. Then I make for the motorcycle.”

“Ray?”

“Charlie Two. I snipe from the roof, giving you cover. Once you all are clear and Michael blows, I get to the bike and we lead the cops off east, glacking as we go.”

“Glack glack mother fucker,” Michael said with a grin.

“And I’m Alpha One,” Geoff finished. “I’ll grab the nondescript vehicle for me and Ryan’s escape and get the money.” Geoff strapped his gun on and looked each man in the face. “We can do this guys. We can work together and pull this off, you just have to pull your heads out of your asses long enough to make this work.” He looked around once at the gang and nodded before handing out ear pieces. The earpieces would allow them to communicate over long distances. “All right, Michael, bring around the AH mobile and we’ll scope out the locations before hitting the mask shop.”

The gang exited the apartment, though there was a bit of a cluster fuck at the front door when Michael and Ray tried to exit at the same time. Gavin took a wrong turn on the stairs and exited on the other side of the building through Michael’s garage which caused everyone’s headsets to nearly explode as Michael yelled at him. Eventually they all piled into the AH mobile, a shiny classic Roosevelt with their logo painted on the side. It sat four, but there were places for passengers to hang off the sides so Gavin and Ryan chose to be left outside.

“All right,” Geoff said, sliding into the passenger seat. “Let’s go—.”

WHAM!

Gavin and Ryan hung on for dear life as a white convertible rear ended their car. “What the fuck!” Ryan shouted angrily, looking back at the drover in the offending vehicle. “Fuck that guy. Waste him!”

“No!” Geoff shouted.

“Yeah…I’m with Ryan on this one,” Michael said.

“Ryan don’t--!”

It was too late. Ryan hopped down from the car and leveled his gun at the man exiting the white convertible, a mid-life crisis with tight khakis and a glaring bald spot. He started to shout at Ryan, but the muzzle of the gun stopped him dead. He let out a yell as pitiless blue eyes stared at him out of the skull mask.

“No witnesses!”

The man’s chest exploded in a shower of blood and meat as Ryan unloaded into the guy. The poor fuck slammed backward into his car before slithering down to the ground, a bright red streak decorating the glossy white paint.

It was almost comical how quickly the sirens split the night air.

“Oh great,” Geoff said dryly. “A wanted level.”

“Dude come on,” Michael said as Ryan ran back to the car. “This isn’t GTA, don’t be a nerd.”

“We haven’t even started yet and we’re already wanted by the cops!” Geoff shouted, his voice cracking again in his distress.

Ryan poked his head in the window. “No witnesses!” he yelled with a maniacal grin.

“Shut up!” Geoff said, shoving Ryan’s face back out of the window. “Fucking drive Michael, lose the heat quick before we all go down for Ryan’s insanity.”

“Alpha Two might need to take a dive,” Ray muttered grumpily.

“I heard that dickhead,” Ryan replied, his voice crackling over the headset.

Michael sped off through the streets of Los Santos, dodging main streets where the cops were looking for the shooter. It was not helpful that Ryan had wasted the guy right in front of Michael’s apartment, but there wasn’t much to be done about it now. Geoff stared out the window as the worn streets of Los Santo flashed by, wondering if this heist was really going to work and if his gang was really redeemable.

“OH NO!”

Geoff turned just in time to see Ryan go flying off the side of the car as Michael made a sharp turn into an abandoned parking lot with some low income businesses.

“Ryan!” Geoff shouted, leaning out the window and watching helplessly as Ryan bounced and rolled away behind them. He came to a halt in the middle of the road and for a minute lay there motionless.

“Well fuck, he’s dead.” Ray shook his head. “Gavin go get his money. What?” Ray said defensively as everyone looked at him. “We ain’t rich, get the money!”

“I’m fine you assholes, stay away from my money.” They all turned to look as Ryan got up and limped back over the car. “You mother fuckers are lucky this isn’t the first time I’ve fell off a car.”

“I don’t even wanna ask,” Jack said. “Just get back on the damn car. It looks like we dodged the cops.”

The words had barely left Jack’s mouth when the sound of a cell phones rang out. Ray fished his out of his pocket and opened the text message he had received. “What the fuck! My car was destroyed. The insurance company just notified me.”

There was a squawking noise like a bird from outside the windows and Gavin stuck his head inside, waving his own cell phone. “My car blew up!”

Geoff looked up from his own cell phone that had just gone off and sighed. “Mine too.”

“And mine,” said Ryan.

Everyone looked at Jack and Michael. Finally Michael rolled his eyes. “Ok, I may have threw a sticky bomb at the guy that hit us, but how was I supposed to know those were your cars behind us?!”

“Lucky that we’re robbing the convenience store,” Ray said exasperatedly. “I’m sure two grand split six ways will cover the cost of a new car for all of us.”

“You fucking idiots,” Geoff growled. “Michael, just drive us to the god damn convenience store!”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“All right,” Geoff said as they approached the 24/7. “This is the target.” Without looking behind him, he pointed his gun at Ray. “Make a shopping joke and I will shoot you.”

Ray closed his mouth and glared until Geoff lowered his gun.

“Park around the corner and we’ll check it out,” Geoff instructed Michael. They pulled off into a small alley behind the store and exited the vehicle, making sure their weapons were carefully concealed before walking casually, towards the convenience store. “All right, Jack you go in and scope the store. Buy something, act casual.”

“Buy some fruit!” Ray called after him. “I want an orange!”

“Orange you glad I didn’t say ‘gimme all your money?’” Michael said and the others cracked up.

 Geoff groaned. “Ryan, Gavin, you fan out and check the streets and alleys for cameras or anything that will give us away. Michael, Ray come with me.”

Geoff led Michael and Ray across the street and showed them the easily accessible roof directly across from the 24/7. One ladder lead to the lower part of the roof and a second ladder lead to the higher section of roof that gave them a clear, unobstructed view. Ray slung his duffle bag of weapons down and pulled out his sniper rifle.

“Um…” he said, as he assembled the gun. “Geoff there is not a lot of cover here.” He looked down at the ankle high wall.

Geoff shrugged. “Duck. Or shoot from the second level. Can you do it?”

Ray gave him a look and hefted his gun, peering down through the scope at the store. “Of course.”

“GAVIN!” Michael shouted into his headset. Gavin, two stories below and across the street, jumped a mile and dropped his phone. “Are you taking a god damn selfie?”

“It’s for surveillance, Michael.” Gavin said in their ears, sounding offended at Michael’s scolding.

“Don’t take a picture of yourself, that’s evidence!” Michael shouted. “I’ll have to blow you up!”

“God damn,” Geoff said.

“Have a great day, sir!” Jacks voice said, followed by the sound of a door opening. “You guys need to shut the fuck up. You are not inconspicuous.”

“This guy is going to be so ready for us,” Michael groaned.

“HEY!” Geoff shouted. “Michael, Ray, shut up and pay attention.” He walked over to the back of the roof and pointed at the alley bellow. “Ray, park the stolen motorcycle here and get to Michael as soon as his truck blows. Head east and lead the cops off.”

“Got it,” Charlie Team responded together.

“All right,” Geoff said into his head set. “Crew, back to Michael’s car and we’ll run Jack’s route and I’ll show you the alley where we’re going to split up.”

It was a large alley (Los Santos has a lot of alleys apparently) around the corner from the convenience store that let out onto another street. The alley was dingy and dirty, filled with dumpsters, trash, and cracked pavement. Still, it served their purposes nicely. Geoff showed Michael the left side entrance that he would bock with the truck and the exit he would take with Ray away from the others. Then they drove Jack’s escape route, from the store into the alley where he would escape from the north exit with Gavin. Finally, they traveled down the street to Puerto Del Sol to show Ryan where to plant the boat.

“Everyone good?” Geoff asked and the Crew responded back in the affirmative. “All right so from this point on, we’re three teams  in three separate directions and we meet on Mount Chiliad.”

“Wait!” Ryan said. “Masks.”

“God damn dude,” Geoff said. “All right to the fucking mask store. Then we get started. Remember, do your job and we’ll all come out of this just fine.”


	4. It's On!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murder, betrayal, and a little friendship go...a pretty short way, actually.

Night settled over Los Santos, the time of day when law abiding citizens disappeared from the streets and the criminals of Los Santos came out to play. Anyone with honest business completed it quickly and carefully lest they run afoul of one of the many gangs that roamed the city. Store owners either closed up shop or withdrew guns and baseball bats from under their counters and prayed that tonight wouldn’t be the night they would have to use them.

Outside the 24/7 convenience store on the corner of Innocence ad Elgin, a black SUV pulled causally up to the curb and cut its lights. The clerk inside tensed, praying that nice normal men stepped out of that vehicle.

“God damn we look like Dr. Doom,” Jack said, tugging on his Carbon Warrior mask.

“That’s a good thing,” Geoff insisted. “It will cause confusion. Is everyone in position?”

Michael pulled his mask down over his head and started the giant truck he had managed to steal. The red lights of sticky bombs glinted off the black plastic mask and he gripped the steering wheel. “Charlie One good to go.”

Ray peered around the brick wall of his sniper post, raising his gun and putting the convenience store in his scope. He took a deep calming breath and focused carefully on his target. “Tuxedo Mask ready for action.”

“RAY!”

Ray sighed. “Charlie Two ready to go.”

Ryan started the black SUV that was waiting in the alley near Michael, leaving the lights off as he waited for the signal to go. “Alpha Two, ready for pick up.” The boat was waiting snugly in Puerto Del Sol and the comforting weights of his two guns strapped to his chest were reassuring. Ryan stared out the windshield, imagining how the heist would go and thinking hard about what he could do to tip the odd of success in their favor. Most of the thoughts involved violence. And dead things.

“All right guys…” Geoff said gripping his gun and grabbing the door handle. His heart was in his throat, but his palms were dry, his hands steady, and his resolved fixed. This would work. It had to work.

“It’s on,” he said.

Gavin and Geoff popped the car doors and ran into the convenience store. The clerk behind the counter immediately raised his hands defensively, though not before triggering the silent alarm. “Please don’t hurt me, I have a family.”

Geoff didn’t care. “Give us the fucking money!”

“Put the money in the bag you son of a bitch!” Gavin shrieked, laughing insanely. The clerk immediately opened the cash register and started loading a plastic bag with its contents. His hands fumbled and he dropped some coins, sweat pouring down his face.

“No sudden movements!” Gavin shouted as the clerk hesitated. “No sudden movements!”

“Just put the money in the bag,” Geoff said, cutting across Gavin’s jerky and somewhat hysterical actions. “You’re going to be fine. You’re going to be cool as a cucumber, we are not interested in becoming murderers.”

Suddenly the windows of the store rattled as several explosions went off outside, testimony to Jack’s successful mission. There was a scream and Michael’s voice shrieked through the earpieces. “We got a pedestrian outside making a run for it. Charlie Two!”

“On it!”

Geoff and Gavin were too focused on the clerk to see what was happening but Ray’s excited whoop hinted that the pedestrian had been neutralized. The clerk finally stuffed the last of the bills in the bag and flung it over the counter. Geoff grabbed it and had barely closed his hand around it when the boom of a shot gun filled his ears and blood splattered the front of his mask. He looked up to see the clerk hit the ground, a mass of blood and bits of flesh where his face had been.

“Leg it!” Gavin shouted, following Geoff as he bolted from the store. They flung themselves in the SUV and Jack peeled away from the curb, not even waiting for the doors to shut. Geoff crammed the money in his duffle bag as sound screamed through his earpiece.

“Charlie Two, cover their escape!”

“Alpha One, Bravo Team you are clear. Get in that alley.”

Jack made a sharp right and careened into the alley.

“Bravo One watch out!” Michael screamed, but it was too late. They clipped the edge of the dumpster and the SUV went into a tail spin. Gavin had yet to secure his door properly and with a loud squawk he went flying out of the car and into the alleyway. Jack slammed on the breaks and Geoff hit the dash so hard, he saw stars.

“Bravo Two, come in!” Geoff shouted. “Bravo Two!” For a moment there was silence until a loud groan crackled in Geoff’s ear.

“Bravo Two, banged up but on foot. Heading for the car.”

Geoff flung himself out of the vehicle, noting that Michael had pulled forward and blocked the alley. Jack was right behind him and they sprinted to the waiting SUVs.

“Alpha One I am on the right,” Ryan said, throwing the lights on. Geoff wrenched open the door and dove into the front seat. “Hang on!”

Michael jumped from the truck and leaped into the still running getaway car. Throwing it in reverse he backed it alongside the truck and hopped back out. Running around the corner, he shouted a warning to the others and ignited the bombs on the truck. There was a deafening explosion, but it was not enough to cover the sound of sirens…and the whir of a helicopter.

“Fuck, we got choppers!” Michael shouted.

“I’m on my way!

“Alpha team get out of here!” Jack shouted as Gavin gunned the engine of the SUV. Jack made a leap for the backseat as Gavin started to drive away, but he missed and fell to the pavement. “Bravo Two, wait!” He looked up as blue and red lights filled the alley and two cop cars came screeching into the alley. “Shit they’re coming down the opposite way. Alpha Team are you clear?”

“We’re clear, we have the money!”

Gavin careened to a halt as the cop cars blocked his path. He had no way out, his only choice was to back up and take Michael and Ray’s exit.

“Bravo Two why?” Jack shouted in frustration, as Gavin spun around, trying to get away from the cops. “You fucked me Bravo Two. You fucked me!”

“What’s going on?” Geoff shouted in Jack’s ear, but Jack didn’t answer. Cops flooded the alley and aimed carefully at Gavin, who had barely managed the turn.

_There’s only one thing to do._

“Just go!” he shouted to Gavin. “Just go!”

“I’m coming back, Bravo One,” Gavin shouted, steeling his resolve. “Bravo Two I’m—.”

But what he was the Crew never found out for at that moment the alley exploded in gun fire, shattering Gavin’s windows with the sound of broken glass echoing through their ear pieces. There was a choking noise from Bravo Two followed by horrible silence.

“Bravo Two!” Jack yelled. “Fuck!” Jack raced for the car, ducking another rain of gunfire and flung open the driver side door to find Gavin jumped over, blood gushing from his side. Jack shoved Gavin into the passenger seat and gunned the engine, reversing wildly and streaking down the side exit of the alley.

“Don’t you die you fucking big-nosed British prick!” Jack shouted at Gavin.

Michael stared in horror as Gavin was gunned down, but he didn’t have time to absorb it as Ray roared up next to him on the motorcycle. Michael jumped on the back just as the black SUV soared past, cutting them off, with a cop close behind.

“Get the cop!” Ray shouted. “Shoot so Bravo Team can get away!”

Michael aimed for the tires as Ray sped after them, but the terrain was bumpy and the target kept weaving. Ray hit a pothole, jostling Michael’s gun arm. Michael's hand squeezed the trigger involuntarily and he let out a spray of bullets at the cars in front of him.

One shot was lucky. It hit the tire of the police car just right, exploding it and causing the cop to crash into the guard rail.

The other shot was not so lucky.

Jack felt his shoulder explode and red swam across his vision and he cried out. It all seemed to happen in slow motion. He felt himself slump sideways, felt the car spin out of control and the last thing he heard was Geoff shouting for Team Bravo before everything went black.

“You killed him!” Ray roared at Michael as Bravo Teams SUV crashed, into the wall of a store across the street. “You killed him! What did you do?”

“I killed Bravo One and Two!” Michael shouted to Geoff. “Things got out of control and he was in front of me and I—I--!”

“What’s going on?” Geoff roared. “Where’s Bravo One and Bravo Two?”

“Alpha Team approaching the docks!” Ryan shouted and Geoff hung on they streaked into Puerto del Sol. Geoff tried to decipher what was going on from Michael and Ray’s frantic shouting. It seemed that the police were chasing them, which would give Alpha Team a chance to get away. Ryan stopped the car and ran for the boat, Geoff right behind him. As he ran, he threw a sticky bomb over his shoulder, which stuck perfectly on the car, and detonated it.

In hindsight, he probably should have waited to do that.

Geoff felt his feet leave the ground as the force of the explosion blew him off the pavement and into the air. Ryan let out a yelp and Geoff landed face first on something soft.

“Well that’s one way to enter a boat,” Ryan said as Geoff sat up, rubbing his nose gingerly, which had to be broken. Sure enough, Geoff had blown himself right into the boat. The engine came to life and almost immediately they were zooming out of the port and into open water.

“What happened to Bravo Team,” Geoff demanded in to his mic. “Someone give me a sit rep.”

“I don’t know about Bravo Two, I think he got gunned down in the car,” Ray shouted, before swearing immediately. “Charlie One, take out that cop!”

“Fuck!” came Michael’s voice, followed by a rain of gun fire. “I tried to get the heat off of them but we hit a pot hole and I accidentally fired and I think…I think I shot Bravo One. Their car spun out and didn’t move after that.”

“God damn it!” Geoff shouted, slamming his fist into the dashboard of the boat. _Jack and Gavin both down, God damn it!_ “Charlie Team, get out of there, get to Mount Chiliad.”

“Got it,” Michael said as he opened fire again from the back of the motorcycle. Ray swerved in and out of traffic as every cop in the world followed them. They had no cover on this bike and already he had been grazed by a bullet that nearly made them crash. Ray took a hard left onto the highway only to be greeted by three cop cars trying to block their approach.

“Go past them, I’ve got this!" Michael said, chucking pipe bomb at the cars. Ray accelerated past and Michael set the bomb off, causing yet another huge explosion. They were nearly blown off the bike, just like Geoff had nearly blown himself up.

“We’re fine!” Ray shouted as more cops converged, though in reassurance of Michael or himself he could not say.

“Charlie Team!” Geoff shouted into the mic. “Charlie Team what’s going on?

“We’re fine!” Ray shouted again as the blue and red lights closed in around them.

“Charlie team get out of there!”

“WE’RE FINE!”

They were not fine.

“Alpha Team, we’re making our approach—FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!”

Michael and Ray barely had time to register the crash from behind before they were thrown from the bike and into the air. Ray landed smack on the pavement, scraping his arms and legs to hell and cracking his head sickeningly. Michael managed to land on his forearms, breaking his fall somewhat effectively.

“Team Charlie is down!” he shouted as cops leaped from their cars and converged on him and Ray. “I repeat Team Charlie is down!”

“Shit!” Ray yelled, stumbling to his feet behind Michael. They ran for the field next to the interstate, running as fast as they could for cover, they cleared the wall just as gunfire exploded behind them.

Ray felt something slam into his chest and he went head over feet into the grass. Pain lanced through him before blackness took him. Michael made it two steps away from the wall before something slammed into his back knocking breath and consciousness from him. He managed to get out one horrible choking yell before he too went face first into the grass.

“FUCK!” Geoff yelled ripping his piece from his ear and throwing it into the ocean. “FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!”

They were all gone. Jack, Gavin, Michael, Ray—gone. It was just him and Ryan left in the Fake AH Crew…the worst gang in Los Santos.

Geoff laughed hollowly after a moment. “Well the plan worked. Minus all the failure.” He looked sideways at his masked partner. “The good news is your cut just got bigger.” Instead of replying, Ryan slowed down, eventually cutting off the ignition. Geoff looked around curiously. “Why are we stopping?”

“You know…” Ryan said, standing up and looking down at Geoff through the empty eyes of his Carbon Warrior mask. He removed his ear piece carefully and set it on the dash. “…it doesn’t have to be two of us.”

Geoff shot to his feet but Ryan was quicker. Geoff had barely moved his hand towards his gun when Ryan’s shot caught him right in the chest. Geoff fell backward tumbling over the side of the boat with Ryan’s maniacal laughter ringing in his ears as the cold ocean swallowed him up.

Ryan raised his gun triumphantly. “Alpha Two wins!” He laughed some more before reaching under Geoff’s seat for the black duffle bag…only to find it gone.

“What the—?” Ryan searched the boat frantically, ripping up seat cushions desperate to get the money. Finally he looked in horror at the ripples left by Geoff’s fall. “NO! He took the money to the grave!”

“Guess again, asshole.”

Ryan spun around and had exactly one second to see a dripping wet Geoff standing behind him before Geoff tattooed knuckles smashed into Ryan’s face. 

Geoff snatched up Ryan’s earpiece. “Bravo Team, what’s your status? Charlie Team?”

“Bravo One fine, Bravo Two was grazed under his vest. He needs medical attention. Heading to a private clinic now.”

“Charlie Team?”

“Good to go. Banged up but nothing critical,” Michael groaned.

“My mask is ripped! Those mother fuckers!” Ray was not happy

Geoff glared at Ryan as he finally surfaced, sputtering. “Bullet proof vests, jackass,” Geoff said. “We knew you would backstab every one of us if we didn’t have them.”

Ryan tread water for a minute, looking mutinous. “Well fuck.”


	5. Sit Rep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geoff learns that he should really think before he speaks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a brief little chapter for Geoff's post-heist breakdown.

“So that didn’t work.” 

Geoff surveyed the group, trying not to scowl and failing spectacularly at it. He was so livid with the group of dickheads that he almost told Matt and Burnie to just bump the whole gang off and start over. As it was, they had a job and half covering up the damage from last week’s heist. Geoff was sure that when they got out it, they were done for, but Burnie had actually applauded the Fake AH Crew for their efforts and Mat begrudgingly appreciated their new-found dedication. They weren’t in the clear yet, but they had, in fact, gotten away with the money, their measley two grand, so their credibility on the street was rising. Or rather, they were now known for failing with flair. Who knew if that was a step forward or not? 

“It would have if someone hadn’t ditched me in the middle of the alley,” Jack snapped at Gavin, his bandaged forehead stark against his bruise mottled face.  His shoulder ached fiercely where the bullet had embedded in his vest and fractured his collar bone.

Gavin flipped him the bird, his shirt moving slightly to reveal his bandaged torso. “You were too slow getting in the car, you pleb. You ran in the wrong bloody direction!” After Jack, Gavin had the worst injuries, a bullet having grazed his ribs. Nothing was broken but he had stitches and had lost a lot of blood so he needed to keep it bandage for a week or two. He probably could have shaken it off if he wasn’t such a wimp. 

“Just like _someone_ ,” Ray said viciously with a glare at Michael, “shot in the wrong direction!” Ray and Michael escaped much of the potential for injury due to the bullet proof vests they had worn and the helmets Ray had thoughtfully nabbed for them. Still, they were sore and bruised like everyone else. 

Michael got to his feet, clenching his teeth menacingly in Ray’s direction. “If you knew how to dodge a fucking pot hole, I wouldn’t have--” 

“Shot me in the shoulder?” Jack interrupted. “Yeah, I’ll try to remember that the next time I crash into a wall because my own teammate shot me!” 

“Hey hey hey,” Michael said, slamming his fist on the table. “Can we all just agree that the plan would have worked if Ryan hadn’t been a backstabbing motherfucker?” 

Everyone turned to look at Ryan who glared back through his two black eyes over his heavily bandaged nose. “What? _I_ got away. The plan worked.” 

“Yeah it worked, until you shot me in the chest!” Geoff said. “I swear to God Ryan, I can’t honestly think of a reason I shouldn’t shoot you right god damn now.” 

“How about because you didn’t even give me a god damn vest!” Ryan shouted getting to his feet. “You just left me to die! You guys always expect me to fuck up or backstab you so why should I bother trying when you don't give a fuck?” 

A ringing silence fell. Geoff had no argument. Idiots they may be, but Geoff did value all of his gang members, even Ryan. True, he had suspected that the Mad King may go off at any minute, hence his giving out the vest to everyone else, but maybe if he had shown a bit more faith in his crew, things might have gone differently. Maybe that was why they were the worst gang in Los Santos. Other gangs were like families. Violent crazy fucked up families, but still families. Maybe they should try that approach. 

“All right,” Geoff said to Ryan and the group at large. “All right. You want a show of loyalty. Here’s your god damn show of loyalty: you guys get to plan a heist.” 

Geoff had forgotten all about his promise to let the others lead their own heist and it wasn’t until Matt asked for their next move did Geoff blurt out the idea. Unfortunately, Matt took to it rather well so now Geoff fully understood the horrible ramifications of not thinking before he spoke. 

“So wait…” Ryan said slowly. “You’re letting us plan the next one. Like...together?” 

Geoff sighed and slumped back down into his chair. “Matt agreed that we did slightly better together than we’ve done as individuals. He want us to try again and Burnie was all for it and helped me convince him. They both want us to prove that we’re smart enough to plan one. All of us.” 

“Even Gavin?” Jack asked incredulously. 

Geoff locked eyes with Brit who grinned cheekily. “Yes. God help us. Even Gavin.”


	6. Sweet Selfies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin's selfies have the crew wondering why they are letting Gavin run a heist. In the mean time, they learn that no one looks good in yellow and the Los Santos fire department is not very helpful.

“All right lads,” Gavin said excitedly. “It’s heist time.”

 Gavin now held the floor in the conference room two weeks later. To start, he dubbed the room the “Heist Room.” For reasons best known to himself, he had his aviator sunglasses on while they were inside. He was also bouncing eagerly from foot to foot as he prepared to present his magnificent, super awesome plan.

“Last heist was shit.”

 “The heist wasn’t shit,” Geoff’s said immediately. “The team was shit. We were in the clear. It would have worked in Ryan hadn’t fucking murdered me!”

 “Tried,” Ryan corrected Geoff. “Tried to fucking murder you. And failed, don’t forget. Anyway you broke my nose!”

 “Oh my God, shut up!” Michael roared. “Let’s let this idiot talk. We’ll be here all god damn day pointing fingers.”

 “I’m just saying Alpha team won,” Ryan said, holding his hands up defensively.

 Everyone groaned and Gavin talked over them. “Yeah, no code names on this one, we’re just going to put ‘secret’ in front of everyone’s name. So like, you’re secret Ryan.”

 The crew looked at him like he was insane and Geoff had to control the urge to just kill Gavin where he stood. This was already a disaster and they were only five minutes into it.

“So!” Gavin said brightly to break up the awkward silence. “You all may be wondering why I would plan a heist, what skills do I have—“

 “Beside the giant nose and stupid accent?” Michael asked.

 Gavin glared but kept going. “I have confusion and disorientation.”

 “There’s medicine for that,” Ryan said.

 Gavin ignored him and turned to the map, where he circled a little dot not too far from Michael’s apartment. “The place we’re hitting is over here, this little gas station. And I have pre-prepared some sweet selfies to show you what we’re doing.”

Sure enough, Gavin held up a small stack of papers. On the top was a black and white photo of Gavin taken in front of the gas station, smiling like an idiot in his aviators. It was bad enough that he had taken the picture and made a hard copy, but he had even taken a selfie. He was IN the picture of the place they were going to rob.

“Why would you put yourself in the picture?” Ray finally shouted as the stupidity sank in fully. “That’s evidence.”

Gavin’s face fell and his face went blank as he looked at Ray in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Remember last time when I said “Don’t take a picture that’s evidence, I’ll have to blow you up?” Michael asked.

Gavin squinted at him for a minute longer before comprehension dawned. “Oooooh.”

“Idiot,” Jack said shaking his head.

“We’re going to pull off a heist and we don’t even have a color printer,” Ray grumbled, pointing out their inadequacies nicely with one off-hand comment.

Geoff rolled his eyes. “We’ll buy one with the heist money. Now shut up!”

“Cheers Geoff,” Gavin said gratefully. “Ok now, here’s the plan. Geoff, Ryan, Ray and me, secret Gavin, we’re all going to dress in yellow. Then we are each going to call 911 and steal fire trucks. Four fire trucks that we are then going to park—” Gavin grabbed another selfie off of his stack and stuck it on the board next to the map. “—right here.” It was a picture of a ramp leading down to some kind of maintenance area and Gavin was off to the side, leaning into the selfie with his mouth open in another dopey grin.

Michael threw his hands up in vexation. “There is a god damn front facing camera on your phone! Why didn’t you just take the picture? Why did you put yourself in it?”

“I dunno,” Gavin said obliviously. “Look how good I look though!”

“Hi mom! Wish you were here!” Ray said. Everyone laughed at that even Gavin.

“All right lads, shut it,” Gavin said, trying to get control of the room. “So we’re going to have four fire trucks there.”

“Why are we wearing yellow?” Geoff asked tremulously. He was sure he wasn’t going to like the answer.

“We’re pretending to be firemen!” Gavin chirped excitedly.

Everybody face palmed at the moment and Geoff once again reflected on the risks of asking questions he did not want the answer to.

Gavin circled another spot on the map, ignoring the looks of doubt, and in Ryan’s case, derision, on his gang mates’ faces. “We will also have a tanker round the bend at this construction site. That’s gonna be our base of operations—it’s where we’ll pull all the vehicles after stealing them before we move on to the ramp.”

Gavin pointed back at the map to the construction site. “Now, everyone has sticky bombs right?” Everyone nodded. “Good. We absolutely litter this thing we sticky bombs. Five each, I want twenty-five sticky bombs on this thing.”

“Thirty you idiot,” Geoff corrected him.

“Right, thirty,” Gavin agreed, unfazed by Geoff annoyance. “Now Geoff—“

“Secret Geoff,” Geoff corrected him again, throwing his hands up and rubbing his eyes tiredly. Gavin wasn't lying when he said he had disorientation down. He also had stupidity and idiocy down too. If they got out of this alive, it would be a miracle.

“Secret Geoff,” Gavin amended. “You’ll be the lead fire truck. You’re in charge of detonation and you’ll ride in first.” Gavin then turned to Michael. “Michael you’ll be driving the tanker to the gas station and pulling it in between the pumps. You’ll go in when I give the signal, you’ll be in charge of robbing the place.”

“Consider it done,” Michael said, relived that he had a low risk job, though what did it say about the plan when driving a bomb and robbing the store seemed safer than everything else that Gavin had planned? Maybe it was simply being far away from Gavin that seemed low risk.

Gavin grabbed another selfie and slapped it on the board, showing an alley set about one story above the gas station, blocked off by a fence. There was also Gavin’s stupid face in the picture too. “Jack, you’ll be in this alley with a motorcycle.”

“One motorcycle for six people?” Jack asked doubtfully.

“No, just for you and Michael,” Gavin said. He pointed at Geoff. “So Secret Geoff you detonate. We came barreling out of the ramp, sirens all the way. Michael when you see the explosions, you run in, rob the place. Use the explosions as a distraction.”

“So we’re not there when the explosions happens,” Geoff asked. “We come after.”

“Exactly,” Gavin said. “Michael will give us the signal and we roll up. We extinguish flames, we extinguish policemen. Nobody goes in or out, that’s important. Nobody in or out. Michael, you leg it out on foot—”

Michael threw his hands up again. “‘Nobody in or out. Michael you come out.’ What the fuck Gavin?”

“Secret Gavin!” Gavin snaps. “Just leg it out best you can.” He pointed at the selfie showing Jacks’ location. “You’ll run out of the store, Michael, do a cheeky little u-turn, and hop this fence right here. You and Jack then escape with the money.” He grabbed yet another selfie, this time of him on the beach with four jet skis behind him in red, white, black and yellow. “Everyone heads for the pier and we meet on the RWBY colored jet skis I have parked there.”

“Well Matt will like the added publicity for RWBY," Geoff said dryly. “Between that and the selfies, no one will doubt it was us robbing the fucking gas station.”

Gavin shrugged. “You said our cred was shite. This will fix it.” Gavin gestured back at the jet skis. “Except for Ryan, everyone takes off on the jet skis. Ryan, you’ll get your cargobob and fly over us in the ocean. Do you have a cargobob?”

“I can get one,” Ryan said with a disturbing grin. “But you’re actually trusting me not to leave y’all in the ocean.”

“I’m giving it a go,” Gavin said cheerfully. “You wanted some trust, here it is. You fly over, we hop in and you fly us to Maze Bank.” Gavin grabbed his last selfie and slapped it cheerfully onto the board. “Then, bevs on the roof!”

“So instead of escaping, you want us to return to the city with the money so we can have a drink on the roof?” Geoff asked slowly.

Gavin nodded enthusiastically. “A cinematic ending to what is going to be the best heist ever! No one will say we’re lame after this.”

“They might say we’re dead,” Ray muttered. The others silently greed with him.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

As usual, they met at Michael’s centrally located apartment. Everyone hit the booze, except for Ray who did his customary bong hit, to settle their nerves. Unlike last time however, they did not feel the pressure to do things right, they felt the pressure to stay alive, which in a lot of ways made them all more nervous than before. While Gavin’s plan at face value seemed decent, they also knew that Gavin plans had a way of falling apart in extreme ways. This would either be a huge success or the biggest of their failures.

 _I should really think before I speak,_ Geoff thought, ruminating yet again on his accidental promise to let the crew plan their own heists. His self-loathing was cut short as Gavin took his place in the center of the room and prepared to lead them all into this twisted plan.

“Al right,” Gavin said lowering is sunglasses onto his face and shoving his gun into his pocket. “Everyone know the plan?” The Fake AH Crew nodded, looking apprehensive. “Excellent. If everyone wants to go outside then, Michael you can pull the AH mobile around and we’ll do a little looky-loo at where we’re gonna be.”

OH!” Ryan yelled as they stepped out into the sunlight. “Let’s take Optimus Prime!” He ran into the street towards a truck that did indeed look like Optimus Prime. He grabbed his gun and went for the driver side door.

 “Ryan no!” Geoff shouted. “We won’t all fit.”

The truck driver turned at Geoff shouts and saw Ryan’s attempted carjacking. His response was to floor the gas and nearly wrench Ryan’s arm off as he tried to get away. Ryan stumbled but retained his balance and watched as Optimus Prime escaped.

Geoff rolled his eyes, “Let’s just save time and not get in the car with Ryan. We’ll all end up in prison or dead.”

“I’m getting the car now,” Michael called through the earpieces they had already put on.

“Gavin!” Jack shouted suddenly. “Look out!”

A car had come screeching into the street where Gavin stood next to Michael’s chrome car. Gavin reacted with surprising reflexes, leaping aside before Jack even finished his shout. However, the car slammed on the breaks and swung inward and a big bald guy in a green track jacket stepped out looking pissed. Before Gavin could move, the guy grabbed him by the front of his button up shirt.

“Simeon sends his regards!” the guy shouted before slamming Gavin to the ground. He went to kick Gavin in the ribs, but Gavin rolled away, squawking and wailing as he dodged the blows.

“Who the fuck is this?” Geoff shouted, backing away and drawing his gun. “Gavin!”

Gavin tried to run, but the man in the track suit was right behind him, slamming his fist into the back of Gavin’s head, knocking him to the ground.

“Gavin! I'm coming boy!” Michael shouted.

“Fuck this!” Ryan yelled, pulling his gun too. “Fuck him up!”

“Ryan—!” Geoff didn’t even get to finish before Ryan unloaded an entire clip into the man, who crumpled into the gutter, his jacket a cruel parody of Christmas colors as the red shone against the green of his jacket.

“Fuck you,” Ryan said, spitting on the guy’s body before holding a hand out for Gavin.

Gavin looked at Ryan apprehensively for a moment before accepting the hand up. “Did you murder him for fun or murder him for messing with me?” Gavin asked.

Ryan grinned. “Can’t it be both? Nobody fucks with the Fake AH Crew! And yes, it was a nice opportunity for murder.”

“What the fuck was that?” Jack asked. “Why would Simeon fuck with us? We’re nothing.”

“Maybe we’re being noticed now?” Ray suggested. “After the last job. I mean, nobody but us knows it partially failed.”

Geoff frowned for a moment, thinking. They had never really be involved in much gang warfare since they were such shit as a gang. But maybe Ray had a point—maybe that was changing. Maybe they were a small step about shit now. “I’ll have Kerry put some feelers out,” Geoff said finally, naming one of their other on again, off again Crew members, “See if we can find out what’s up. You ok Gavin?”

“I’m top, let’s go,” Gavin said, smiling through a bloody nose.

“MICHAEL’S HERE!”

"JESUS!”

The street was suddenly filled with Fake AH Crew members as they dove off of the sidewalk and out of the way of the AH mobile, which chose that moment to reverse at full speed through a cluster of cars and people.

“Get in losers,” Michael said, rolling down his window. “We’re going shopping!”

 *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

So this is our lovely base of operations!” Gavin chirped as the Fake AH Crew pulled into a construction site not too far from Michael’s apartment. Parked in the corner behind the wall so passersby could not see it was a large oil tank truck.

“All right let’s take a look—” CRUNCH!

“Michael why?!”

Michael had almost come to a stop when he pulled into the construction site, thinking that they could ark anywhere, but then he noticed the tanker at the other end of the area. He sped up again, thinking to pull alongside of it.

Unfortunately, Gavin thought slow and stop were the same thing so he had opened the back passenger door and stepped out. Michael hit the gas again and Gavin found himself clinging onto the car door for dear life as his feet were knocked out from under him. This lasted exactly three seconds before there was a loud metallic ripping noise and Gavin and the door fell away from the car. Gavin yelped as he fell and managed somehow to avoid getting crushed by the heavy door.

And since everyone in the Fake AH Crew was an asshole, his desperate cry was met with gales of laughter.

“You all suck,” Gavin grumbled, getting to his feet and kicking the car door in vexation.

“You broke my car,” Michael said as he and the others exited the vehicle. “Try to remember not to exit vehicles until they stop.”

Gavin flipped him off and led the other to the tanker. “All right gents and lads, this is our lovely bomb. After we get the trucks, we’ll come back here and litter this with sticky bombs. Michael you will then drive it to the gas station and Geoff will detonate on my signal. Everyone got it?”

“So Michael doesn’t need to do anything from here right?” Geoff asked trying to fully wrap his head around the plan.

“Nope, Gavin replied. “He can stay with the truck while Secret Ryan, Geoff, Ray and Gavin can all go get clothes and fire trucks now and we’ll bring them back here.”

“I’ll get the bike,” Jack said.

“Spruce it up and make it sweet,” Gavin instructed as Jack ran off to do his job.

“I guess I’ll work on turning this damn thing around,” Michael complained shooting Gavin a look. “Let’s see if I can do it without blowing the fuck up.”

“Good luck, boy,” Gavin said with a cheeky grin. “All right, lads, there’s a Binco around the corner. Let’s go get our bink on!”

“We’re doomed,” Geoff said tiredly. "I should get that tattooed on my fucking forehead."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“I wear your granddad’s clothes, I look incredible.”

“SHUT UP!” everyone roared through their earpieces at Ryan.

Ryan rolled his eyes. “Whatever, y’all are just mad at how good I look.”

Ray eyed Ryan’s eye smarting yellow jacket over and orange shirt paired with pale yellow shorts, banana colored flip flops, and a Rastafarian hat. Mix that with Ryan’s red and white creepy face paint and well... 

“Good isn’t exactly the word I would use,” Ray muttered. “For any of us.”

It was true. Ray himself was dressed in a yellow track jacket with a pale yellow t-shirt and yellow track pants and shoes. He had managed to find some yellow framed sunglasses and a yellow beret like hat. He looked good, or as good as he could in bright yellow. Gavin was in a yellow shirt ants and shoes with a snazzy fedora perched over his sunglasses. Geoff was still in the store primping.

“Geoff, good Lord hurry up!” Gavin shouted in the direction of the store.

Jack pulled up on his motorcycle and laughed uproariously at his friends’ get ups. “Oh my God, I need a picture of this,” he said between giggles, getting off his bike and fumbling for hi phone. “Hey guys smile--!”

CRUNCH!

Jack stumbled forward as a car’s rear view mirror struck him in the back. That was bad, but worse was the crunching metal noise of his brand new motorcycle being eaten alive by the underside of the car.

“You son of a bitch!” Jack yelled, dropping his phone and pulling out his gun.

“Jack no!” Gavin pleaded.

Too late. Jack unloaded into the skinny mini teenager that stepped out of the car without a care in the world. She immediately had a care in the world as she died a sad death in the gutter of a convenience store.

“God damn it,” Gavin swore. “Geoff come on, we gotta get outta here. Jack pulled a Ryan.”

“Fuck that,” Jack argued, extracting his relatively undamaged motorcycle out from under the car. “She ran over my bike, she was in the wrong. Fucking bitch.”

Geoff ran out of the store looking furious. The entire crew stopped bickering as they took in his outfit: a yellow track jacket, a yellow shirt with the word “Stank” on it, yellow dress shoes, a hat to match Gavin’s and the world smallest pair of neon yellow shorts.

 “Shut the fuck up,” Geoff said through gritted teeth. “This was all they fucking had in my fucking size.”

The crew didn’t say a word, too scared to laugh when Geoff has his mean leader face on. Instead, Gavin snapped a quick selfie of all of them while Jack rode off to repair his bike. “All right guys, let’s spread out and dial 911. Everyone needs a fire truck. Ryan try not to blow anything up unless you have to.”

Ryan contemplated actually blowing something up just because Gavin said that, but there was no guarantee that he would escape getting arrested before the heist began. “Last ditch effort, I’ll blow something up, ok?”

“Fine,” Gavin sighed.

“I thought Ryan’s first ditch effort was always to blow something up,” Geoff said.

“Fuck off,” Ryan said, dialing 911. It rang for a few minutes before the world’s most bored-sounding lady answered. “911, what’s your emergency.”

Ryan developed a high, falsetto voice. “Oh my god, it’s on fire!” he screeched. “Oh my god come quick!” He hung up, feeling rather pleased with himself.

“Why did you have to pretend to be a woman,” Michael asked in his ear.

“Uh…” Ryan said, not really sure what had possessed him to do a girl voice. “Well you know…hot flashes?”

“Booooooooo!” Ray said as the others laughed. “Oh look here comes my fire truck!”

Sure enough a bright red fire truck turned onto Ray’s street and came barreling down the road, sirens blazing. Ray stepped off the sidewalk in the direction of the fire truck, waving his hands over his head to flag them down. He was in the middle of the street before he realized that they were not slowing down.

“Ah shit!” Ray dove out the way, landing face first on the grassy medium and staining his yellow clothes green. He got to his feet spitting out a mouthful of grass and dirt. “I don’t think that was my fire truck.

“It’s mine,” Gavin said, a few block ahead of Ray. He stepped out I the middle of the street trying to flag down the truck. After a moment Gavin realized they still weren’t slowing down. “Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, AHHHH!”

“Yeah they don’t really stop for people,” Michael said wisely over his ear piece as Gavin hit the pavement and rolled to avoid being run over.

“You’d think they’d recognize one of their own,” Ryan said dryly.

“Shut up,” Gavin snapped, straightening his hat as he got to his feet. The truck had indeed stopped and four firefighters now stood in the street staring around, looking for the supposed fire that had called them here. Gavin took advantage of their confusion and sprinted for the open driver side door. “Cheers lads!” Gavin cried before throwing the trick into drive and speeding off.

Ray watched as the fire truck he thought was his sped off with a bunch of howling and cursing firemen chasing it down. “Well shit.” 

Ryan saw a fire truck pull to a stop at the corner nearest his location. “Wait, don’t leave!” he shouted, running to the truck, waving his hands like a maniac. Apparently, every member of the Fake AH Crew thought waving your hands was the universal sign for “stop moving so I can steal your truck and use it to commit the weirdest robbery of all time.”

However, as Ryan drew level, the firemen who had exited the vehicle started shouted and the fire truck pulled away. For a moment Ryan was confused until the fire truck went past him. He looked at the driver and was treated to Geoff presenting him with the finger fucking hand sign.

“Fuck you Geoff!” Ryan shouted. He pulled out his phone and attempted to call the fire department again, listening as Ray did the same. Not only did the lady sound skeptical of their calls this time, but after twenty minutes, there was not a truck to be seen. Ray and Ryan walked around for another hour, trying to move their location in hopes that the 911 dispatcher would think they were different callers.

“I feel like I’m driving around looking for reception,” Ryan complained. “Can you burn me now?”

“Dude, do you think that Verizon guy killed himself?” Michael asked.

Ryan snorted. “What, by drowning himself in all the money he made?”

Michael shook his head before remembering no one could see him. “I seriously doubt he made that much fucking money.”

“I read that that fucking bitch at Progressive is a fucking millionaire,” Geoff said bitterly.

“Flow!” Ray said excitedly. He loved those commercials.

“Would not shock me at all,” Jack said wearily. _Must be nice to have that kind of money. Or at least work with people who aren’t such fuck ups._

“Do you think other robbers talk about this kind of thing before they rob?” Gavin asked with genuine curiosity which made everyone laugh.

“Two hours in and we’re talking about Flo from Progressive,” Jack said over the laughs. “Gavin this is a waste of time.”

“Time to blow shit up,” Ryan said, pulling out a grenade. “They’ll never suspect the Rasta-fireman!”

“Whoa whoa whoa!” Gavin shouted. “Hang on Ryan. “Let’s just do it with two. Ray you ride with me, Ryan you ride with Geoff. Let’s meet back at the base and we’ll get in position.”

“Fine” Ryan said stowing his grenade. He turned around and stopped in his tracks. There in the parking lot, completely unattended sat a vehicle perfect for their purposes.

“Oooh,” Ryan said walking up to it reverently. “Shiny…”


	7. Disorientation and Confusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Fake AH Crew learns a little about improvisation and whole lot about never letting Gavin run a job. Ever.

“Nice scarf do they make it for me?”

“Ray!” Geoff snapped. “Quite beating that guy up and get in your damn fire truck!”

“He hit me first!” Ray said defensively kicking the body one last time before doing as instructed. The fire trucks had been parked on the ramp near the gas station and Gavin had squawked indignantly when Ryan pulled up in his ambulance. Ryan overrode him with the objection that he could serve as a backup getaway for the entire crew if the plan failed. After parking the trucks, they returned to the construction area and covered Michael tanker trucks with 27 sticky bombs. (Gavin the heist master was the one who didn’t have enough sticky bombs.) Jack parked the bike in the alley before taking a spot on the roof of the convenience store with a bird’s eye view of the gas pumps that would soon be reduced to rubble.

“All right are we ready?” Jack ask, aiming the scope of his sniper rifle at the pumps for a clear view. “I have an amazing view of the explosion.” This probably wouldn’t work, but it was a huge tribute to Geoff’s faith in them that he was letting this heist proceed. No one could say he didn’t believe in his gang after letting Gavin of all people run a job.

“Can I just say I appreciate the dumbass who left the AH mobile right in my fucking way!” Michael shouted, his voice raised to carry over the sound of beeping coming from the tons of sticky bombs stuck to his truck. The ominous beeping was doing nothing for his nerves nor was the sheer ludicrousness of the plan. He just hoped he wouldn’t get shot full of holes on his frenzied flight to Jack’s motorcycle. _God damn Geoff for letting Gavin take the lead on this one. If anything happens to me, Geoff will be the first one I take the fuck out._

Geoff gripped the steering wheel of his fire truck, trying to ignore the way his hands shook and his palms sweated. It wasn’t that he was afraid—he was terrified and it had little do with how desperate their situation was in the Syndicate and everything to do with how stupid Gavin could be and how many things could go wrong with his plan. But, as Ryan pointed out, it was time to stop thinking of each other as fuck ups and start working as a team. Everyone had a Kevlar vest on this time and Ryan swore he had no plans to betray anyone. Geoff tried hard to stow his doubts.

Ryan also had no faith in the plan, but it was worth a shot. It was kinda fun for him to do something crazy like this, what with the yellow outfits and stolen emergency vehicles. It was right up his street. He also figured now was as good a chance as any to try to get along with the rest of the gang. They saw him as such a freak that they had left him out in harm’s way without protection last time. Maybe a show of faith was in order.

Ray just wanted to live. He wasn’t optimistic about his chances as he rode shotgun in the fire truck piloted by Gavin, whose crazy enthusiasm was starting to take over.

Gavin didn’t think much of anything. The plan to him was solid. They would be fine. _I am so smart. Go me!_

“All right, what’s our go word?” Ran asked Gavin through the earpiece.

 “Um…” Gavin thought for a minute. “Hegurkhurgurk!” he shouted, making a strangled sort of choking noise.

Geoff hit his head on his steering wheel. “So I blow it now right?” he asked sarcastically.

“NO!” shouted the Crew.

“Remember,” Gavin said as Michael began to drive. “When you hear the explosion, or Jack sees it, sirens all the way.”

Michael drove through the streets of Los Santos with extreme care, his heart thudding in his throat as night fell around them. He did not feel safe hauling this giant stick of dynamite, but there was nothing to be done. The poor clerk in the gas station wouldn’t know what hit him.

“I see the truck,” Jack said quietly from his perch on the wall as Michael pulled ever so slowly into view. “God damn, it is glowing with sticky bombs. It’s like Christmas down there”

Michael carefully pulled into the gas station, right in between two pumps, and anxious eye on the amount of space between the bomb-covered sides of the truck and the gas pumps. He pulled in almost perfectly and carefully, casually exited the vehicle.

“All right,” Michael whispered as he strolled up to the glowing storefront. “I’m heading in.”

“Michael,” Gavin said, quiet as the others. “Make sure you kill the clerk. Let Geoff know when he should blow.”

Ryan swore loudly causing Michael to pause with one hand on the door. “We didn’t recon the store!” he said frantically. “Is anyone in there?”

Michael took a deep breath and pushed the door open, giving the clerk a friendly nod. He wandered down the beer aisle, looking carefully over the fully stocked shelves. “All clear,” he whispered. “No one in the store.” Michael turned and walked up to the counter.

“All right boys…here we go.” Michael reached into his coat and pulled out the AK that he had carefully concealed with his bulky jacket. The clerk didn’t even hesitate, he raised one hand and smashed open the cash register with the other. “Give me the money!” Michael shouted.

“I hear alarms,” Jack said as the shriek of sirens sounded over the headsets.

“Michael as soon as you have the money, tell Geoff to detonate.” Geoff, in the rear fire truck, pulled out the detonator, his breathing and heartbeat both erratic as he prepared to blow the place to kingdom come.

This cashier was even more frightened than the one Geoff and Gavin had encountered. The others could hear Michael shouting at the man and swearing every time he fumbled. Coins rolled behind the counter and bills fluttered to the ground making Michael growl in frustration.

"We have to blow it,” Ryan snapped. “Before there’s cops!”

“Wait!” Michael roared. “Just wait one second! Get the fucking money, you asshole!”

“Oh shit there’s cops,” Jack shouted. “Oh man, there’s cops.”

Michael barely had time to turn and look when the shop front exploded in a shower of glass and a battering ram hit him the chest. He stumbled, trying to keep his gun on the cashier but another slug caught him in the shoulder. He stumbled again just as the cashier flung the money at him. “I’m getting shot! I’m getting shot! God damn it!” Michael steadied his arm and pulled the trigger and the cashier clutched his throat, choking on his own blood as he died. Michael scooped up the money and ducked behind a shelf. “I’ve got the money!” he screamed at Geoff. “Blow it, blow it!”

Geoff slammed his fist down on the detonator, ears perked for the explosion…but nothing happened.

“Geoff blow it!” Gavin screeched.

“I’m trying!” Geoff said, hammering the button. “It’s not working!" 

“Ah shit,” Jack shouted. “The lights on the bombs went off!”

"Fucking hell!” Gavin said. “We gotta get to Michael!”

"Solution!” Jack yelled. He grabbed the last of the sticky bombs he had and stood, a clear target for the cops who were shouting to each other about his appearance on the roof. Jack took his one shot and threw the sticky bombs as hard as he could at the truck.

If the explosions from his effort on Geoff’s job had been bad than this was hell on earth. Cop cars, cops, bits of sidewalk, gasoline, glass, metal, and fire all rocketed up into the sky, the heat searing everything in proximity. Jack fell, scrambling away from the blaze of heat and soot that crashed into his face as an inferno erupted around him.

Michael had seen the arc of the sticky bomb and hit the ground flat just as all of the windows exploded from their frames. Bits of glass rained donw, slicing his face and hands, but he ignored the pain. There was a moment of deafening silence before his ear piece erupted in frantic shouts and triumphant yells as more sirens rang out into the night.

“Gavin!” Michael shouted. “Geoff, Ryan, Ray, get the fuck over here!” He looked at the flames outside, wondering how on earth he would escape without being burned. “Jack are you ok?”

“I’m fine,” Jack said immediately. “I’m on the bike waiting for you, go, go, go!”

An ambulance raced into the parking lot and slammed on its breaks, whipping around and crushing two newly arrived cops. Michael was confused until he saw the Rasta Fire-man jump out of the door and start firing into the burning wastelands as more police tried to swarm them “Michael I‘m here! Go!”

The “firemen” were on the move, Gavin leading the charge. Ray gripped the edge of his seat as Gavin slammed onto the accelerator, racing up the ramp and into the road, the deafening siren blasting above his head. Gavin let out a triumphant shout as they raced around the corner, the blaze of the gas station coming into view.

“Gavin!” Ray shouted, leaning forward and pointing out the window. “Gavin break, you’ll hit the gas pump!”

“Shit!” Gavin said, slamming the breaks as the fire truck bounced the curb. It was no use. His reaction was too slow and they had been going too fast.

“God damn it!” Ray shouted. He threw his door open and grabbed Gavin by the collar. “You fucking idiot!” Ray shouted before diving out of the speeding fire truck and pulling Gavin along with him.

Michael and Ryan both stared in horror as Gavin’s fire truck careened into the gas pump. The force knocked the pump askew, sending gas into the air and that was all that was needed. There was another huge explosion and the fire truck went up in flames, adding to the chaos around them.

“Gavin!” Michael screamed. “Secret Gavin!”

“Ray, no!” Ryan shouted. “Oh god damn it. God damn it!!”

Geoff swung around the corner in his own fire truck just in time to see Gavin and Ray go up in flames. He didn’t shout for them as the other did, knowing it was useless. Worse it was his fault. He knew the plan was shaky at best but he’d had let it happen and for what? Some whim that they would magically pull together and not be the worst gang ever?

“Geoff,” Jack shouted in his ear. “Help Ryan and Michael.”

Geoff shook himself of his guilt. He could feel guilty for the rest of his life but now he had to focus. Flipping the switch on the dash, he sent a rocket of water into the flames and cops which fell before him. “I’m here. Who needs a ride?”

“Secret Michael I have it!” Jack yelled. “I have the bike, come on!”

“Go, Michael! Geoff and I will covered you,” Ryan added, ducking back behind his ambulance as a rain of gunfire flew at him. The flames were starting to die down some thanks to Geoff’s efforts, but it was allowing the cops to get closer. Ryan crouched behind his ambulance, raining gunfire into the approaching police. He could see several policemen go down in splash of water from Geoff. It wasn’t enough though. They had needed the help that would be provided by Ray and Gavin but…well.

Michael ran out of the gas station following the route that Gavin had laid out, or at least kinda followed it. Instead of running around the carwash, he ran through it, taking  advantage of the momentary protection from the gunfire flying on all sides. He sprinted out of the carwash and made the cheeky U-turn and flew up the stairs. Well actually he just went up the stairs, stairs are very hard to run up and damn his legs were burning. The fence was in front of him and he tossed his gun and bag over it before hauling himself up and over. “I’m here Jack!”

Jack wasted no time. As soon as he felt Michael’s hand on the bike, he revved the engine and shot off, hoping Michael had actually made it onto the bike. (He did.)

“Cheese it!” Ryan yelled. He heard Geoff and Michael and Ryan yelling as the money got away and Geoff continued trying to back Ryan up. Ryan was too exposed where he was and now was the time to get away. He fired one last clip into the fray before flinging open the ambulance door. He was tempted to check the wreckage for any sign of Ray or Gavin, but it was too late at that point, medical equipment on hand or no. It was time to make a break for it. They were going to get out of this and pay the cops back in blood for Gavin and Ray.

Granted, it was Gavin’s fault they died, but that wasn’t the point.

Ryan reversed and executed a sharp turn to make a clean getaway. He was golden, the path was clear and Geoff was already moving out. He was gonna make it!

The roar of a shotgun changed everything.

Geoff, Michael, and Jack all flinched as the echoing boom sounded in their ears and Ryan’s yelp was abruptly cut off. Then there was nothing besides the sound of police pursuit behind them,

“We lost Secret Ryan!” Jack shouted in frustration. “Damnit!

“What happened to Ryan?” Geoff shouted, trying to see behind him, but the gas station was long gone as he raced for the pier.

Jack ignored the question as every cop in the world fell in behind him and Michael. “Oh shit…” he said through gritted teeth. “Oh shit! Oh there’s bullets—secret bullets.”

“Oh crap!” Michael added, pulling his gun and firing at the cars behind him.

“Heading to the secret highway,” Jack said as the sound of a police chopper suddenly broke through the rest of the noise. “Oh man, we have a secret helicopter.”

“It’s not that secret!” Michael snapped.

“So we really lost Ryan?” Geoff asked as he made his way through the streets of Los Santos for the pier.

“I think we’re all that’s left,” Michael said. “Or at least all that’s left that we know of.”

“We don’t have a cargobob!” Geoff shouted, reviewing the plan and trying to figure out the next step. “We got nothing.”

“What do we do?” Michael asked.

Geoff swung around a corner, the pier in his sights. “We stick with as much of the plan as possible. We’ll improvise.”

“We’re headed to the beach,” Jack confirmed.  “We—oh shit!”

Suddenly they entered an underpass and found the road crawling with cops. One cop car swung out of his lane into theirs and Jack just barely managed to dodge him by jumping behind him and crossing over into another lane. “Shit, I didn’t even see that!”

“Oh we’re fucked,” Michael moaned, trying to shoot straight as they swerved. “Why do we always have the getaway vehicle be a motorcycle?!” Cop car after cop car cut them off and tried to ram them as Jack swerved and cursed and Michael tried to shoot out tires. God damn it, hadn’t he just been in this situation with Ray?

On a motorcycle with Ray fleeing from the cops….oh fuck. Michael knew how this was going to end!

“Jack no!” Michael shouted as he heard the rev of an engine right behind them, just like before. They roared out of the underpass and for split second, everything slowed to the movement of the bike, the gun in his hand, and the roar of the enemy behind him. Were they going to make it, were they going to be ok?

The car hit them from behind. Jack let out a horrible strangled yell as he flew off the bike, bounced along the pavement, and disappeared over the high way wall. Michael also flew through the air, but managed to land better and struggle to his feet. “Oh I’m dead!” He shouted as cops converged on him. “Oh I’m dead, I’m dead, I’m—“

“Stay alive!” Geoff shouted, but he heard the sounds of police gun fire before his headset went dead. He parked hastily on the pier and scrambled down from his fire truck. There were whimpering sounds he didn’t understand until he realized it was him.

“Why is it so quiet!” he shouted, racing down the pier, unnerved by the silence and the lack of confirmation of his gang’s status. “Where is everyone? Where’s the money?”

The RWBY jet skis were in the water at the end of the pier so Geoff didn’t break stride. Instead he put on an extra burst of speed and flung himself over the edge into the water. “Ow!” he shouted as the water smacked him in the face. He struggled upward as water filled his eyes, ears, nose, and mouth, but his hands met something hard blocking his way. _I’m gonna drown!_

He pushed against it, hard, and the barrier drowning him shifted and he surfaced, sputtering and coughing. He hauled himself up on the yellow Jet Ski that had nearly drowned him and ignited the engine. He left the pier and shore behind and sliced his way through the waves.

“God damn it,” he muttered. “All my friends are dead…and I’m broke!”

Geoff wound his way through the water for an hour, making sure the heat fully died down. Once the coast was clear, he’d head back to the office and try to convince Burnie no to kill him. Then he’d bury the idiots who had blindly followed him. God damn it.

 *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Geoff trudged into the conference room where they had planned that last fateful heist. His plan was to burn all the evidence. Starting with those selfies. Then he’d go beg for his life.

He had just pulled down the last of the selfies when shouting came from the hall way.

“GAVIN! You were useful for like 8 seconds! What happened?”

 Michael? Hadn't he been gunned down?

“He drove into a gas pump and blew me up!”

Ray!

“I went in with the intention of extinguishing and created and even bigger fireball.”

Gavin! But he and Ray blew up...

“We noticed!”

That level of disdain and perfect unison could only be from Ryan and Jack.

The door swung open and sure enough the Fake AH Crew trooped in, burned, scraped, bloody and livid. Jack immediately fixed Geoff with glare. “You triggered the C4 and all the damn lights went off!” he shouted, at the end of his rope. “I had to chuck a grenade from the roof. You’re lucky I hit it!”

“And can we not take a damn motorcycle as a getaway vehicle?” Michael added, rubbing his shoulder where he had been both shot and flung to the road. “We all almost died!”

Geoff couldn’t help but grin, equally pleased and exasperated with his crew. “I’d like to point out that I lived,” he said cheekily.

Everyone glared except Gavin, who slumped down at the table and covered his face wearily with his hands.

“Everything about that went wrong,” he moaned.

“Shocking,” Ray said bitterly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. After the tragedy with Monty's passing, I wasn't able to face any Rooster Teeth stuff for a few days. Rest in Peace Monty. Also Gavin's heist is very chaotic so it was tricky to write. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy it!


	8. We're Not Getting A Color Printer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How did they survive? Where's the color printer? And what on earth is that smell?

“So what happened?” Geoff asked as they all sat down at the table, bruised and angry.

“Everything about that went wrong,” Gavin repeated.

“We got that,” Ryan snapped. “But I think Geoff meant how did we all live?”

“And where the money went,” Geoff added hastily. “Let’s not forget that.”

Michael glared and reached into the pocket of his severely battered jeans. “The money? You want the money?” He tossed several dirty coins, four crumpled ones, and a shredded fistful of unidentifiable bills.” “There you go. Four dollars, forty two cents, and some confetti.” Reaching for the shreds, he tossed them up in the air where the fluttered down to the ground sadly or came to rest on the Crew’s heads. “Hip, hip, hoo-fucking-ray.”

“The money exploded from the bag like a fucking piñata when the cops hit us,” Jack said. “It was like a parody of the worst birthday ever.”

“Jack went flying over the edge of the highway and I fell in the gap between the two sections,” Michael added. "I am pretty sure I sprained my ankle and wrist in the fall but I fared better than Jack.”

Jack made a face. “I fell into an open topped garbage truck,” he muttered. “It saved my life but dear god.”

“Is that what that smell is?” Geoff said, appraising the smudges all over Jack and sniffing delicately. He immediately regretted it. There was a foul stench of rot, dirt, sludge, and what was probably fecal matter about the room combined with the lingering smell of gunpowder, gasoline, and smoke. He noticed everyone was breathing through their mouths.

“That’s probably a bit of him and a bit of us,” Ray said, glaring at Gavin. “When I saw big nose here was about to kill us I grabbed him and dove out of the fire truck. We just managed to tuck and roll under a police car when it exploded. We were launched backward and burned quiet badly,” Ray admitted, pointing at several holes in his shirt that were singed. The skin under it was pink and blistered, but he was lucky he wasn’t burned alive.

“The cops were everywhere so we took shelter in the closest thing we could find,” Gavin said.

“Which was?” Geoff asked, though he suspected he already knew.

“A man hole.”

“So while we were fighting for our lives, you were prancing around in the sewer?” Ryan asked angrily.

“Yeah like it was a fucking holiday,” Gavin snapped.

“We’ll never be clean again,” Ray moaned covering his dirty face with even dirtier hands.

“So what happened to you then?” Geoff asked Ryan. “One minute you were there and the next was a loud roar followed by radio silence.”

Ryan rubbed his forehead tiredly. “A cop pulled a shot gun on me. I had barely enough time to dive to the floor boards before the windows exploded. When I hit the floor, my head smashed into the gas pedal and the ear piece must have snapped. I also lurched forward out of the gas station when i hit the pedal. I scrambled back up and had quite the car chase through the streets of Los Santos. Eventually, I lost them and the road blocks peeled off and headed for the highway.”

“To run our ass over,” Michael finished and Jack nodded in agreement.

“So that was an utter failure,” Gavin said.

“And we’re still not getting that color printer,” Ray said sarcastically.

Geoff slumped into his chair and surveyed his gang. This had been a royal mess. He was just about to mention begging Burnie and Matt for their lives when his cell phone went off. He looked at the text message blinking on his screen and sighed.

“Disappointing,” Geoff read aloud. “See that your next job one is more fruitful. We recommend letting the Mad King do his work.”

Everyone looked up at Ryan, who was suddenly grinning evilly behind his skull mask.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little bonus chapter since the last one took so long. I had to figure out a creative way to explain everyone's survival so bear with me.


	9. This WILL Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan's plan start out well, but then he reminds everyone why he is the Mad King.

“You shut the fuck up!”

“Fuck you!”

Michael and Ray glared daggers at Gavin who slumped in his chair and pouted slightly. He had made the mistake of speaking, a privilege Michael and Ray had stripped him of after the last heist where he was not only useless, but had nearly killed Ray.

“Guys, guys,” Ryan said, glaring through his skull mask at the Crew. “Listen, last heist…not so good. We know that. We all fucked it up, but Gavin especially.”

“I didn’t do anything!” Ray snapped.

Ryan bit back a laugh. “You did do nothing. That’s true.”

“As usual,” Geoff said bitterly.

“Shut up,” Ryan repeated. “Look—are you guys tired of nickel and diming it?” The other finally shut up and looked at Ryan curiously. “We’ve been hitting really low priority targets with low gain results.”

“Well that’s because the money keeps either getting flung in the air or burned up by fire,” Geoff pointed out.

“Yeah but even if it hadn’t, our cuts would have been crap,” Ryan said. “We need better targets.”

“We’re going for quarters?” Michael asked skeptically.

“We’re going for quarters,” Ryan said cheerfully. “Because we are gonna hit…” he slapped a photo up on the bulletin board and pointed excitedly. “An armored truck.”

It was silent for a moment as the gravity of the situation hit the Fake AH Crew. Armored trucks were notorious difficult to rob in Los Santos. Not only did they have armed drivers them, but each one came wired with an alarm that would immediately call the cops. That coupled with the fact that the Gruppe Sechs company made sure only a few were out at a time made them a rare opportunity and a hard target. Most gangs would leave them alone and stick to convenience stores and the occasional drug ring. 

“That’s nine, maybe ten grad,” Geoff said, slightly awed at Ryan’s nerve. Gavin let out an excited chirp at Geoff’s words and rubbed his hands together greedily.

Ryan held up his hand for silence, for all the good it did. “It gets better. After we hit the armored truck, we are going to hit a convenience store.”

Ok now he was just crazy. They could barely handle one target and now he was asking for two? The others immediately started raising objections but Ryan cut them off.  
“We are going to do both,” he said firmly. “Because that’s how much I believe in you.”

Ryan enjoyed the looks of surprise on their faces. Of all the members of the Fake AH Crew, Ryan was easily the least loyal of the bunch, so everyone thought. However, a lot of that was due to the fact that they saw him as an untrustworthy madman…which he was but untrustworthy mad men have feelings too! Still, he had told Geoff he would return the faith if they showed a bit in him. They had with Gavin’s job, so it was time to return the favor.

Besides, the more he bolstered their confidence, the better shot they had at success…he hoped. 

“We have to redeem ourselves from our last try,” Ryan said. “We’re gonna hit my target AND one of his,” he said, pointing at Gavin.

“Well it can’t be worse than last time,” Geoff muttered.

“Exactly,” Ryan said. “So here’s what we’re gonna do: we’ll have a chopper team and a ground team because we aren’t going to hit the armored truck, we are going to steal it with a chopper.”

“I call pilot!” Gavin crowed.

“NO!” screamed everyone else.

“You are in the chopper team,” Ryan admitted. “Jack, you’ll be flying and we’ll need a cargo bob. Once you pick it up the cops are gonna be all over you so Gavin and Michael, you’ll be shooting out the sides, keeping the helicopters off of you.”

“How are we going to catch it,” Jack asked. “I think they will speed off when they see an incoming cargo bob with a hook coming straight at them.”

“That’s where the ground team will come in,” Ryan said. “Geoff and I are gonna get cars. We’ll be driving around, doing some recon. Once we find it, we’ll pull on either side of it so it can’t get away while Jack picks it up.”

“Nice,” Jack said, impressed.

“Well kinda,” Ryan admitted. “It’s gonna make the chopper heavy, but it should fly.” Ryan turned to the map behind him and gestured to one of the streets on it. “What they think we are gonna do is grab the truck, put it down somewhere, and rob it. Not what we’re gonna do. What we are gonna do is—”

“Crash into the side of the convenience store,’ Geoff said sarcastically, doubting the flyability of the cargo bob carrying an armored truck.

“We’re going to crash into the side of the building that we take it from!” Michael guessed.

Ryan thought for a minute. Gruppe Sechs did have the mother load of cash at their building, being in the armored truck business. They would never suspect a cargo bob carrying one of their trucks to slam into it. If they did an appropriate distraction…no. too risky. They had crazy security.

“No,” he said finally and the others couldn’t help but laugh at the fact that he had seriously insider such a ridiculous plan for a moment. He pointed back at the map. “Right here is a parking structure. Ray you are going to be posted on top of the parking structure. When the chopper flies over head, you are going to shoot the rear doors, causing the money to fall down on to the parking structure, where you, Geoff, and I will collect it. Michael and Gavin will then bail out of the chopper and meet us on the parking structure. Waiting will be—everyone’s favorite—three motor cycles.”

Much groaning met this statement, particularly from Michael who had been thrown from a motorcycle twice so far. “Why don’t we just have six guns on the roof and we all kill ourselves,” he said rubbing his poor head tiredly. “Just get in a circle and blow our brains out. Same result.”

“No,” Ryan said, a bite of impatience edging into his voice. “No we are going to drive off the roof—.”

“Why can’t we just drive down the structure?” Ray asked over fresh groans of exasperation.

Ryan rolled his eyes as though logic was beneath him. “There’s a ramp on the roof. If you wanna just go down you can though.”

“A ramp?” Ray said excitedly. “Then fuck going down like a pussy bitch. I’ll take the ramp. I’ll do a flip!”

Geoff buried his face in his hands. This has started off so well too but was quickly lapsing into chaos. Maybe if they all stopped trying to go for style, they might actually achieve something.

“The cops will be hot on our tail,” Ryan said, bring the room back to order. “We gotta get away. So we’ll go around the corner here to this subway. We’ll go into the subway—.”

“Like Subway sandwiches?” Ray asked

Ryan sighed heavily. “Yes like subway sandwiches. Exactly.” Ray and the others were too busy cracking up to hear him though.

“This is going well already,” Ryan muttered. “ANYWAY! We’ll go into the subway and here’s where we split up because Jack, you’re still flying. The cops will chase you, you’ll fly overhead and then dump the chopper. Big fiery explosions, hopefully they’ll think you’re dead.”

“Hopefully,” Jack said dryly.

“Hopefully,” Ryan agreed. “Hopefully you’re not really dead. Ray, you’re going to come this way down the subway,” he said tracing the path with his finger. “Jack, you’ll hop on with Ray and you’ll come back this way to join us. The other two teams will go this way and exit the subway. When we exit, there will be a convenient store a block away.”

“How convenient!” Michael exclaimed to more laughter.

It’s like amateur night at the comedy club in here, Ryan thought, annoyed. “Hopefully we will have lost the cops so we can then rob the convenience store. Gavin and Michael will rob it, meanwhile Geoff and I will go over to the pier nearby and get some boats.”  
“Are there boats there already?” Geoff asked.

“Yeah, the RWBY jet skis,” Ryan said. “Remember we’re trying to complete Gavin’s heist too here. Gavin, Michael, Ray, and Jack will all converge on the pier. You’ll ride your motorcycles off the pier where Geoff and I will be waiting to catch you. We all get on the jet skis and we’re gone!”

“Gone where?” Geoff asked.

“Into the sunset,” Ryan said as though that should have been obvious.

Geoff sighed and slumped back in his chair. The plan had started off so well and had descended into madness. Mad King indeed.

“All right,” Ryan said when Geoff raised no further objection. “Codenames. I went into our records and grabbed some we haven’t used yet. Here’s what I’ve got: Heisty Beard.”

Jack raised his hand, suppressing an eye roll.

“Granny Gumjobs.”

“Hey that’s me!” Ray said excitedly. “It’s because they have no teeth so when they blow you, it’s all gums.”

“No denture adventure,” Michael added, high fiving Ray.

“Wee-Wee Wrangler?”

“That’s me,” Michael said, giggling at the ridiculous name.

“Two Times an Anus?”

Geoff face palmed and raised his hand.

“And Mongy Wimp Foggler.”

“Hey!” Gavin shouted triumphantly.

“And I will be the Fry Lord,” Ryan said. “Any questions?”

“How do we split the money in the middle of the ocean?” Geoff asked.

“We drive off into the sunset and Ryan kills us all,” Michael said. “Duh.”

Ryan laughed. “I admit, my original plan was to murder you all.” He chose not be offended by the fact that no one seemed surprised at that statement. “But then I realized it was a much greater challenge to keep you all alive.”

“And you have this all worked out?” Geoff asked skeptically, not liking the seemingly random elements of this plan.  
“I believe in you guys,” Ryan said, thumping his spiral notebook determinedly.

“Really?”

“Yes,” Ryan said indignantly. “This will work, look.” He gestured haphazardly at the map and notebook.

Geoff rubbed his eyes tiredly. “I get the impression that he came up with this right there.”

The others laughed.

“Doesn’t matter,” Jack said bracingly. “Let’s heist.”

“Heist!” Ryan shouted, slamming his notebook down on the ground.


	10. Going for Quarters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Motorcycles! Motorcycles! Ryan's mad kingdom for some motorcycles! (Also Gavin says you're welcome.)

“Does everybody remember their code names?”

“Uh…” Ryan scowled as the gang tried to remember their names

“I think the question is will everyone remember each other’s,” Michael pointed out.

“They were all pretty much gibberish,” Jack muttered to Geoff who groaned and buried his face in his hands. He found himself doing that constantly lately.

Ryan shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. Let’s load up and I’ll show you the parking garage that Ray will be waiting on.”

The Fake AH Crew left the apartment, grabbing booze or bong as they left. Gavin immediately jumped on top of Michael’s chrome car as Michael himself walked off to his garage around the corner to retrieve the AH Mobile. Geoff and Ryan practiced sliding across the car hood in sync for some unknown reason until Jack and Ray caught on and attempted to do it as well. Eventually Gavin got tired of that and started smashing the hood of the car with his heel. Ryan, always a fan of destruction, pulled a crowbar from his jacket and set about cheerfully trashing Michael’s car.

“I hear our ride,” Ryan said as the Tchaikovsky horn sounded.

“GET OFF MY CAR!” Michael shouted.

The Fake AH Crew piled in/on Michael’s car and took off through the darkened early morning streets of Los Santos. Following Ryan’s careful instructions, they turned and went under the overpass heading straight for the—

“MY FACE!”

Geoff whipped his head around towards Gavin’s screech as Michael slammed on the breaks, which proved to be a bad decision as Geoff endured a painful sideways bout of whiplash. There was a small streak of blood on the window and a conspicuously empty space beyond that that had been occupied previously by Gavin’s body. The Brit himself was stumbling to his feet some feet behind them, having knocked up against the wall of the underpass and flown off the car.

“It wouldn’t be a heist if Gavin didn’t have a car mishap,” Ryan said dryly as Gavin limped back toward them.

“I left some of my head blood on that wall I think,” he said, swaying as he jumped back into his spot on the car. “I feel funny.”

“You’re fine,” Ryan said dismissively. “Let’s go Michael.”

They moved on to the parking garage, Ryan pointing out the ramp and where Ray and the bikes would be positioned. Ray jumped out briefly and stashed his bag with his sniper rifle and other weapons in a secure spot on the roof before getting back in. In that brief time, Michael managed to run over a lady that Gavin had pronounced attractive, Gavin stole her money, Geoff “accidently” shot Gavin in the Kevlar vest, and Gavin responded by swinging at Geoff, missing, and breaking the window into Ryan’s crotch.

Ray was only gone thirty seconds, for the record.

After the chaos evaporated, Ryan directed them around the corner to the subway station.

“So this is the subway station,” Ryan said. “When we get down there, Ray will go left in the tube and me and Jack will go right and meet up at the end.”

Geoff popped his door and leaned out, fixing the location in his mind. Michael reversed suddenly, jolting Geoff and knocking him against the car door. Geoff turned around to shout at Michael when a strange metallic sound brought him up short. It sounded very much like a metal ball rolling and bouncing under the car…except Geoff didn’t have metal balls…

“BAIL OUT!” Geoff shouted. “GET OUT OF THE CAR NOW!”

The AH Crew didn’t ask questions for once and someone watching from the outside may have found it comical to see six full grown men leap out of a car like they had been launched from canons. What ended the comedy was the huge explosion as the AH Mobile went up in flames and smoke.

The gang got to their feet, soot streaked and ruffled from the blast as civilians screamed and ran. There was no damage other than the car, thank God, but Michael didn’t seem relieved

“GEOFF!” Michael screamed, turning from the twisted ruin of his car and rounding on their leader.

Geoff held up the grenade pin that was caught on his coat pocket and stared at in nonplussed. “What happened?’’ he said weakly.

“You almost killed everyone!” Michael screamed.

“We’re not even ten minutes in and Geoff is wormsing it!” Ray added, getting to his feet and brushing soot from his white mask, which wasn’t so white anymore.

Geoff couldn’t help it: he started laughing hysterically, much to the ire of his companions. It wasn’t funny, but it was at the same time. They literally couldn’t ever really do anything right could they?

“Well…” Ryan said as they observed the fireball that had been their car, “I guess we should just go find motorcycles now.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Um…” Jack said, stopping halfway through a crosswalk and staring at a body in the street. It was a very large man in a bright red shirt. “Guys, Fat Albert is in the street.”

“Yeah…” Ryan said in his ear. “He uh….he didn’t like it that we took his car.” He explained, turning said car onto the freeway.

Jack shook his head before heading towards the airport on foot to steal a cargobob. Only Ryan would shoot a guy for being upset at their attempted grand theft auto. Well that’s not true, Ray would too…and Gavin…and Michael…and Geoff.

Sirens were close at hand behind Ray and Ryan, although so far Ryan was masterfully evading. Ray stared out the window nervously, rethinking his decision to hitch a ride with the Mad King.

“Oh hey my car’s over there!” Ray said as they rode over where Ray had parked his car. Without further ado, he popped the door and leaped out. “You’re on your own!” he shouted to Ryan before tucking and rolling. Getting to his feet he ran across the overpass and vaulted over the railing with a shout of “Geronimo.”

Ryan shook his head.

“Ryan,” Geoff asked, driving carefully and keeping his eyes peeled for an armored truck. “Refresh my memory--how do you and I get on the roof with Ray?”

Ran sighed. “After we have cornered the armored truck, we drive straight there.”

“Right,” Geoff said. “Can I ride with you?”

“Depends,” Ryan said sarcastically. “Are you going to blow us up?”

Geoff scowled even though Ryan couldn’t see it. “No! I’m not you, I don’t blow everyone up.”

“YOU JUST DID!” Michael shrieked, making everyone wince and making Geoff instinctively yank out his ear pierce in pain.

Geoff replaced his ear piece. “Yeah but it was only that one time!” he argued.

“What happened there Geoff?” Gavin asked, immediately followed by a ton of cursing as he crashed into a telephone pole and spun out in his stolen vehicle. Geoff waited until he heard Gavin’s engine rev again before he answered.

“I leaned out of the door to mark the subway in my mental map,” Geoff explained. “Michael backed up and jolted me against the door. One of my grenades fell, but the pin snagged on my coat and it bounced.”

“You dumb shit,” Michael said with a laugh.

Geoff growled. “Yeah well then I thought ‘Did that go under the car?’ Decided it was better to bail than blow up.”

Everyone grumbled a bit before resuming the task at hand, which was proving surprisingly tricky. Contrary to Ryan’s assurances that the set up for this heist would be easy, it appeared that everyone in Los Santos who had a motorcycle for them to steal had moved far away. Or had hidden them. Maybe they were just unlucky.

Geoff sighed, equally frustrated by the lack of armored trucks. “Let’s go ahead and get masks. I’ll see you guys at the mask store.”

“I’ll drive there as well,” Michael said, executing a sharp U-turn and flipping the bird to everyone who objected by car horn.

The sound of chopper blades starting up echoed in the gang’s ears. “I’m helicoptering in to the mask shop,” Jack said cheerfully.

“You’re helicoptering into the mask shop.” Ryan repeated, pulling up in front of said mask shop. He looked up and sure enough a helicopter zoomed in over his head and started to land on the beach. “Subtle.”

“A bunch of guys in a helicopter came by and bought some death masks,” Geoff said, sarcastically impersonating a store clerk.

“Nothing strange about that,” Jack joined in, hopping out of the cargobob.

“They seemed like good guys,” Michael added.

The Crew met at the mask store and browsed through the merchandise. At this point, the clerk knew them pretty well, to which Geoff considered that it might be time to do away with that particular witness. Another problem for another day.

“Ooh skull hockey is pretty cool,” Jack said, holding up a slightly creepy hockey mask.

“Oh how about tourist hockey!” Geoff said excitedly, turning to show Ryan. The mask was bright blue, but you could barely tell for the number of stickers that covered it. It looked like a Loss Santos themed postcard threw up all over it. “They’ll think we’re tourists!”

Ryan examined the mask and got that crazy gleam in his eye. “Yes.”

“Jesus Christ,” Michael said as he grabbed the mask.  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
At first glance, Ryan’s plan seemed easy enough: steal motorcycles, find an armored truck, pick it up, get the money, run down the subway, rob the store, and escape on boats. The jet skis were in place and….that was the only thing in place.

Jack picked up Gavin and Michael in the cargobob and flew them all up north to search for motorcycles. Geoff, Ryan and Ray followed and despite driving through what remained of the night and a good part of the early morning, they had yet to find a motorcycle. At one point, Gavin parachuted out of the chopper (and nearly hit the chopper blades) when he realized he had left all of his ammo behind in Michael’s apartment. After nearly being decapitated, he managed to get to Ammunation and buy ammo, miraculously not dying in the attempt. Jack focused all of his energy on trying not to kill Gavin for idiocy.

“If you were riding a motorcycle,” Ryan said to himself, peering hopefully through his windshield as he explored the streets, “where would you be?”

“In my mid-forties,” Jack replied instantly.

“Oh that was funny,” Geoff said appreciatively. “That—OH! Motorcycle!” The gang cheered as Geoff pulled over, yanked the guy off of the Sanchez that was stopped on the highway, and proceeded to drive off with it. “Hey another one here too,” he said as another cyclist zoomed past him.

Jack turned the helicopter and flew towards the GPS ping that was Geoff’s earpiece receiver. Unfortunately for Geoff, the second motorcyclist did not want to give up his bike and in a moment of frustration, Geoff shot him off the bike. It wasn’t long before Geoff was making a wild escape down the side of a mountain to evade the police. He was thrown from the bike once and nearly lost it as it continued to roll downhill without him while he climbed a tree to hide from the cops. Luckily, Ryan had caught up to Geoff and followed the whole chase in his car. He drove off road to retrieve the bike. Geoff got back on and he and Ryan drove it to the parking garage before resuming their hunt for the armored car.

Gavin, who had stolen a car and was attempting to rendezvous with the helicopter, came upon two motorcyclist and slammed into both of them knocking the men off their bikes. “I got a bike!” Gavin said, jumping out his car and onto one of the bikes, a Hog. “I got…uh-oh.” He looked up and saw the Hog’s owner sprinting towards him, a knife in his hand and blood running down his face. “Oh he is pissed. Let me just get out of here.”

“Don’t run away, shoot him!” Ryan exclaimed.

Gavin sped off, ignoring Ryan’s advice. “Short cut!” he exclaimed before gunning the engine and shooting off of the highway and into the hills.

“So far the plan hasn’t really panned out,” Ryan said wearily as more timed passed without a further bike sighting. It was frustrating for him—the plan had seemed so simple, but it was nearly noon and they still hadn’t started the actual job.

“We have two bikes,” Michael said encouragingly.

“Do we though?” Ryan asked bitterly, having not heard anything out of Gavin for a while. Or Ray for that matter. “Does Gavin still have his?”

“Yes!” Gavin said, offended. His teeth clattered as he bounced and shuddered his way over the rough terrain of Mount Chiliad. He looked left and right and broke out into a nervous sweat as he saw nothing but sky on either side of him. “Um…I am up a mountain with it though.” The tires slid a bit as he passed over a particularly narrow part of the mountain. “Michael,” he said nervously, taking a moment to confide in his friend. “I’m a bit scared.”

Michael leaned out as they passed over the small dot that was Gavin while he attempted to climb a mountain on a bike. “Yeah dude, you’re fucked,” he said unsympathetically.

“Found one!” Ray shouted out of nowhere before the sound of crunching metal rang out. Ray jumped out of his car and took the bike, ignoring the smear of blood and guts that had been the bike’s previous owner.

“All right!” Ryan exclaimed. “We have three bikes.”

“Um, I don’t know about that,” Michael said as Gavin crested the top of the mountain and began his descent on the other side. “I think we’re about to lose Gavin’s.”

“Well on the plus side, it’s nice up here,” Gavin said. “I feel like I am one with nature. Coming down!” Gavin revved the engine once more and went flying down the mountain. This was immediately followed by a series of yelps, squawks, groans, and expletives as Gavin crashed his way down the mountain, not just once, but twice. Somehow the bike was still operable as he approached the river at the bottom, bleeding profusely on top of the severely battered motorcycle.

“Guys,” Gavin said, wiping blood from his face. “I’m not sure if we should use this bike—it’s a death trap!”

“Why don’t you just pick it up and fly it back here?” Ryan said to Jack as he turned onto the highway close behind Geoff, still in pursuit of an armored truck.

“Yeah let’s do that,” Jack said, turning the chopper and starting to descend as Gavin contemplated the river.

“Michael, do you think I can cross this river?” he asked.

“The river!” Ray sang out, which immediately caused Jack and Ryan to join Ray in a rendition of Tom Sawyer by Rush, complete with acapella background music. Somewhere in the world Geddy Lee was surely killing himself over how bad it was.

Everyone heard a loud splash followed by Gavin’s strangled yell. “Did you make it?” Michael asked as Jack swung the helicopter into view. Gavin stood submerged waist high in the river, laughing hysterically. Handlebars poked up out of the water next to him.

“Is it in the river?” Jack yelled, fed up.

“God you suck!” Ray shouted at Gavin who continued to laugh.

Michael growled but also had to admit it was kinda funny to see Gavin standing in the river by what remained of his bike. “Jack, we’re like the fucking coast guard. Lower me in and I’ll save it!” 

Michael very carefully grabbed the rope that held the hook and lowered himself out of the helicopter. He rested both feet on the giant hook itself and held onto the rope for dear life. They were a mere 10, maybe15 feet above the river so even if Michael fell, he’d escape relatively unhurt thanks to the water below...he hoped. He took a deep breath and signaled to Jack that it was safe to lower him and the hook downward. Michael did not relax his grip as he swung wildly above the rushing water for a moment while Jack waited to make sure he was ok.

“Let me down!” he yelled to Jack who complied. Michael watched as the water got closer and closer as he went down with the hook. When he was a mere foot away, he jumped off of the hook and kept his grip on the rope, splashing down into the river beside Gavin. It was the work of a minute to secure the bike and he signaled Jack to lift him, the bike, and Gavin back into the chopper.

“If it was under water it’s dead,” Ryan pointed out as the bike lifted from the river.

“Well we can run it through the drive through,” Gain said, incorrectly referring to the express repair shop.

“French fries will not fix this problem, Gavin,” Ryan said exasperatedly.

“Well you are the Frylord,” Ray pointed out.

“I don’t think this bike will work,” Jack said as they headed for town.

“Well if I see another bike--ooh like this!”

“Gavin no!” Jack yelled as Gavin jumped out of the chopper yet again and deployed his parachute. “God damn it!”

“Armored truck!” Geoff shouted suddenly. “Armored truck! Armored truck!”

“Ok guys, we got an armored truck!” Ryan said as he and Geoff pulled alongside the target.

“We lost Gavin!” Jack shouted.

“I found another bike,” Gavin explained as he stole said bike from its owner and zoomed off towards town.

“Should we follow you or get Gavin?” Jack asked Ryan.

“Get Gavin and take the bike to the top of the parking garage,” Ryan instructed, “then come back to us.”

“Ooh,” Gavin said excitedly in everyone’s ear. “Do we need a cement truck?”

“Shut up!” Geoff roared.

After several more mishaps, Jack managed to rendezvous with Gavin and the bike and pick both of them up, Ryan and Geoff managed to keep the armored truck in their sights, and Ray manage to look really cool while chilling on top of the parking garage.

Gavin grinned as Jack picked up the last bike and they masked up. “You’re welcome everyone!” he chirped.

“What would we fucking do without you?” Ray snapped back.

“Probably complete the heist,” Michael answered, punching Gavin in the arm. “Let’s fucking do this already.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For reality purposes I have modified the cargobob in this story. Instead of having a dangly hook that magically attaches to and picks up stuff, the cargobob instead has a hook that is lowered from the side opening of the helicopter, specifically from the top . This allows people like Michael to grab the rope and go down with the hook to attach it to things. Just think of the coast guard like Michael suggests and you're close!


	11. Turn Around (Every Now and Then Plans Fall Apart)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armored trucks are heavy and Ryan is still a filthy fucking murderer.

The cop in the passenger seat of the Gruppe Sechs armored truck leaned forward, frowning at the Sedan in front of them. It had cut them off five minutes ago and had dramatically slowed down, bringing traffic around them to a crawl. He rolled down the window, wondering if he should call it in.

“Somebody call my grandson!”

The cop rolled his eyes and put the window back up. “Damn elderly drivers,” he grumbled to the driver, a Gruppe Sechs employee.

“Tell me about it,” the driver grumbled sympathetically. “We got another one to our left. We’re stuck til they exit.”

“Ugh,” the cop groaned. “We’ll be late for our first pick-up. Could this day get any worse?”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Fuck I can’t put my mask on!” Michael shouted. “I must have fucking dropped it in the river.” Michael grumbled for a bit before looking ahead of him at Jack. He grinned at Gavin and said loudly, “I’ll have to get out.”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Jack replied instantly.

“ETA Hesity Beard?” Ryan asked.

“30 seconds Frylord,” Jack said. Ryan could practically hear the eye roll at the ridiculous code names.

“All right guys,” Geoff said, ensuring his mask was in place as he kept his car and the armored truck at a very slow place. “Let us know when you’re approaching.”

“We’re approaching now,” Michael said. Michael approached the hook and yelled for Jack to lower it a bit. Jack did as asked and Michael steeled himself. There was no river to break his fall this time and no chance for do-overs if he messed this up. Resting one foot on the hook and gripping the rope, he stepped out from the chopper, swinging out above the road they prepared to lower it completely. Gavin raised his gun to cover Michael.

“All right,” Geoff said again, palms sweating as they always did with nervous anticipation. Was there a better rush than this? “Ryan do you wanna move over to left side I’ll move over to the right and we’ll sandwich it?”

“Ok…” Ryan said dramatically. “This is it!” He yanked the steering wheel and pulled in front of the armored truck. In his rearview mirror he saw Geoff slide in behind the truck. “Ok guys he’s not going anywhere!”

“We can do this, we can do this, no whammies, no whammies--STOP!” Michael shouted as they drew level with the stopped car.

Ryan twisted in his seat and took a moment to fix the scene in his mind as his gang mates shouted encouragement and something about topical cream every day in his ear. The driver of the armored truck hesitated, trying to look for a way out. He could see the cop escorting the driver tense up, he could see Jack’s chopper inbound perfectly from the back with Michael descending on the rope, he could see an angry driver getting out his car as traffic stopped, he could see said angry driver running at Geoff’s car, reaching for the door handle—

Oh no.

“Geoff you’re being jacked!” Ryan shouted, just as Geoff was thrown from the car.

Geoff hit the pavement hard as chaos erupted around him. The driver moved to attack him, yelling something that was lost over the noise of a low flying chopper. Gavin, Michael, and Ryan were all yelling in Geoff’s ear as he jumped aside, trying to avoid his attacker.

“Grab the car, grab the car, grab the car!” Michael shouted over the din as Jack swung him into position. In one fluid movement, he stepped off the hook and onto the armored car’s hood. He crouched and neatly slid the hook under the armored truck’s roof rack and redoubled his grip on the rope. He just managed to brace himself when he felt a huge shuddering jolt as the Jack slammed the controls on the chopper and lifted the truck, Michael, and everything else.

The was a gong-like noise and Geoff, still on the ground, felt something relatively similar to a brick wall slam into his head and knock him off of his feet, leaving him dizzy and in pain on the asphalt. Geoff’s attacker jumped aside as the armored truck, i.e. the brick wall that had hit Geoff and rang like a gong, swung backward with the momentum of the chopper as it left the ground, Michael riding it like a surfboard and whooping in excitement...until the truck swung inevitably forward. Michael, not expecting it, just managed to grip the rope with both hands as the armored truck swung out from under him completely.

“We got it!” he yelled triumphantly, dangling above the highway and spinning as the truck swung back and forth. “We got it! Go, go, go, go! And pull me up for fuck’s sake!” Jack lifted the truck up a few feet and Michael pulled himself up the rope and back into the chopper. He lay paralyzed for a moment with gratitude at the relative solidness of the helicopter floor before grabbing his gun and leaning out to cover their escape.

The cargobob shuddered and groaned as they rose higher in the air, their ascent much slower and rougher than usual due to the weight. Gavin and Michael could hear all kinds of whistles and bells as various sensor and alarms went off, warning Jack that they we overburdened. The engines started heating up as they tried to compensate and the chopper veered slightly back and forth as the truck swung beneath them.

“We’re away!” Jack yelled to the others. “Ugh it’s heavy,” Jack groaned, pulling at the controls with all his might. “Oh my God it’s so heavy.”

“How far away are we from Ray?” Michael shouted, stumbling into the cockpit and eyeing the flashing and beeping controls nervously.

“Uh you know...a ways,” Jack said, eyeing the GPS and the distant ping that was Ray.

They could barely hear it, but the sound of police sirens below warned them a split second before the danger was on them. “We got choppers!” Gavin shouted, cocking his gun and bracing himself to lean out. Michael ran back to his side of the chopper and took aim as police chopper zoomed in on them, moving much faster than they could in light of their extra cargo.

“Turn!” Michael yelled as the police chopper veered off to their right. “Turn so I can shoot ‘em!” Jack slowly turned the chopper and Michael released a hail of gunfire. After a moment, a body fell out of the back and the enemy chopper swerved as the pilot tried to avoid gun fire.

“Oh man, we’re smoking!” Jack announced, a split second before a huge puff of smoke slammed into Gavin’s face. The alarms we going wild now and choppers were closing in on them. Gavin and Michael shot for all they were worth and managed to keep the police off of them...barely. Sharp metallic pings and pops were testament to the times they were wrenched away from a line of sight as Jack fought cargobob and armored truck. More than once, the chopper shudder and dipped like it was going to crash and more than once Gavin and Michael had to grab the side to prevent being dumped out on to the road so many feet below.

Ray paced on top of the parking structure, eyes on the sky and gun ready as he waited for a cargobob that seemed unlikely to ever come. Waiting was the worst. He could do nothing but listening to the cacophony in his ears as Michael, Gavin, and Jack fought for the lives while Geoff and Ryan shouted commands from below.

Geoff had managed to pick himself up and was now in a stolen car with Ryan as they followed both freeway and cargobob to the parking garage, Ryan did not like how their aircraft was flying and did not like the panic he could hear in the chopper team’s voices.

Suddenly in the chopper all of the gauges and thermometers spiked and there was a loud groan from one of the engines as a spray of police gunfire ripped into them. “Oh god, we’re on fire!” Jack shouted. “Oh god we’re on fire!” They weren’t on fire, not yet, but Jack knew it was only a matter of time. He made a decision. “We’re going down!”

“NO!” Gavin shouted as the chopper jerked hard.

“Don’t go down!” Geoff yelled squinting up frantically at the swinging truck. “Don’t abandon the mission!”

“Keep going!” Ray shouted. He could almost see the chopper in the distance. They were so close!

Jack grit his teeth in frustration. It was all well and good for them to say that, but they weren’t the ones trying not to blow up.

“Michael, get that enemy chopper down!” Ryan shouted, referring to the police helicopter that was firing at their engines. Ryan cut across three lanes of traffic to stay under the chopper. They were close, so close, Jack just had to keep them airborne just a little bit longer…

An explosion ripped across the sky and for a moment, Ryan was terrified the Michael, Gavin, and Jack had all blown up. It wasn’t until Michael’s triumphant yell rang in his ear that he realized the enemy chopper had gone up in flames.

“I GOT IT!” Michael yelled. “I got it! Keep going!”

“Fight through the flames,” Gavin added, frantically trying to reload and scattering bullets everywhere as he jolted with the helicopter.

“Keep fighting Jack!” Ryan said, staring as the wreckage of the enemy chopper crashed into the lake off the side of the highway. They were heading back into the city now and were fast...ish approaching Ray. They just had to make a little longer.

“All right, we’re heading to Ray.” Jack wrenched the controls hard, but there was a loud clank and huge spike in the temperature gauges. Michael leaned back in as a jet of fire exploded out of one of the engines with a wave of heat and the chopper began to lose its fight to stay up. “Aw shit, we’ve got fire coming out of the engines!” The chopper began to very slowly descend, oblivious to Jack’s attempts to keep it in the air.

Gavin grabbed the side of the chopper opening and swung outward to look at the engines, but the flames shooting by his head were not what caught his attention. Instead he happened to see a gleam of metal—a streetlight—coming dangerously close to their swinging cargo as the chopper sank lower and lower.

“Jack!” Gavin yelled. “Jack! Pull up, pull up, pull up--!”

CLANG!

The armored truck collided with the streetlight and snagged hard. The rope, already weak from holding such a heavy load, snapped with an incredibly loud crack and Ryan and Geoff watched helplessly from their car as the armored truck and all of their hopes crashed to the ground beside the highway.

“We lost the truck!” Jack shouted. Ryan looked up as Jack maneuvered the now flaming helicopter around. Inside the cockpit, Michael and Gavin abandoned their guns and held on a tight as the cargobob turned crazily and hovered over the armored car.

“New plan!” Michael yelled to Jack. “Someone’s gotta drive it!”

“All right, we’re heading back for the truck!” Ryan replied, slamming on his breaks and jumping the highway divider. If he could get to it in time, they could drive it out of there and the others could escape.

“No, I’m going for the trunk, I’m going for the truck!” Jack grit his teeth and carefully began to lower the burning cargobob. If they could land and get out, they could still save the truck. It would be fine if they could just land. “We got this!”

“Ryan!” Geoff leaned forward and pointed to a broken section of wall on the highway. The nearest exit was too far away and Ryan read Geoff’s intent clearly. “Take the jump! We got this Ryan!” Geoff shouted leaning back and gripping his seat.

Ryan floored the gas and shot like an arrow down the highway, He turned the steering wheel as he approached and leaned forward as the car flew through the gap and into the open air. The nose of the car angled downward and the asphalt rushed up to meet them. The undercarriage crashed hard into the pavement, lifting both Ryan and Geoff out of their seats and smashing them against the ceiling. The back end of the car landed just as hard but miraculously they zoomed forward when all wheels touched down, dizzy from their crash but still on the ground and still able to move and drive. Geoff couldn’t help it and he let out a triumphant yell.

With a loud thump and yells of protest from Michael and Gavin as they nearly fell out, Jack managed to land the chopper on the ground. “We’re on the ground!” Jack said as Michael and Gavin leaped out and ran for the armored truck. Michael fired two shots and took out the passenger that had apparently been screaming the entire ride and had miraculously survived until this point. Jack kicked the cockpit door open and jumped out as well. “The chopper is down, I repeat the chopper is--”

A deafening clunking noise sounded behind him causing him to whip around. The blades of the chopper suddenly sounded strangely like a blender as they started to grind to a halt. The engines whined and the whole chopper shuddered. Jack turned to Michael and Gavin who had also stopped to look at the chopper.

“Oh shit, ru—!”

Jack never finished.

Ray saw the explosion from his position on the roof and heard Jack, Gavin, and Michael cry out as the chopper finally gave up and went out with a literal bang. Ryan, coming around the bend just a second later slammed on the breaks as bits of flaming metal shot up into the sky and small pieces fell on their car like rain.

“Oh shit…” Ryan said, his face white.

“Jack!” Geoff shouted. “Jack!! Michael? Gavin?”

 No answer.

 For a moment no one spoke, No one moved. They just stared at the cargobob and the seemingly unharmed armored truck in shock, although at this point hadn’t they learned that all of their plans ended in fire and defeat?

 “Nope,” Geoff said suddenly, his voice even. In fact he was strangely calm. “Nope. I’m not buying it. Every time I’ve thought you idiots were dead you’ve magically escaped without a scratch. So, unless I see their fucking bodies all burned up, I’m not going to think they dead. I’m not that fucking lucky.” Geoff kicked his door open. “Let’s get the fucking money and get out of here.”

 Ryan and Ray chose not comment.

 Since it was Ryan’s heist, Geoff allowed him to approach the truck first. The flames from the chopper had already died down as the initial explosion had consumed most of the fuel. There was no sign of Jack, Gavin, or Michael so Ryan hoped they had taken cover, or were more likely knocked unconscious somewhere. He didn’t waste time looking—they had a mission to complete. Ryan walked around to the doors and examined the lock for a moment.

 “Fuck that,” he muttered. He raised his gun and swung the butt of it down hard...right as Geoff leaned down to examine the lock.

 Geoff felt a sharp blow to the back of his head and as everything went white, he couldn’t help but reflect on this new feeling of regret that he had once hired Ryan.

 Ryan looked at Geoff lying on the ground in a tiny pool of his own head blood, completely nonplussed. “How the fuck-- I hit Geoff! With my gun!”

 Ray kicked a motorcycle in frustration. “What are you doing? You said you wouldn’t kill anyone!”

 “He’s not dead!” Ryan said, panicked. Just unconscious. Ryan looked frantically around as sirens split the air. He didn’t have time to contemplate what had happened. Instead he smashed the lock open and flung the doors wide.

 “FUCK!”

 Ray winced at the shout. “What’s wrong?”

 “There’s no money!” Ryan shouted. “They must not have picked anything up yet for the day! GOD DAMN IT!” Ryan slammed a fist into the truck doors and screamed in frustration.

 “Well fucking perfect,” Ray said, ripping off his tourist hockey mask and flinging it across the roof. “Listen...should I just come to you? You fucked this all up!”

 Ryan growled and stepped out of the truck. “Yeah...I think you’ll have to come to me. We’ll meet somewhere in the middle.” Ryan paused and looked at Geoff sprawled on the ground and fuck if he didn't feel guilty. Instead of leaving him there to get got, Ryan bent down and grabbed his boss under the arms and dragged him back to the car. He heaved Geoff into the back seat as police came screeching around the corner. Wasting no more time, he slid into the driver’ seat and took off, the cops not quite yet able to process that he was their target.

He heard a motorcycle rev up. “I’m going to take the jump since I set the bikes up,” Ray informed him. Ray released the break and shot across the roof and up the randomly placed ramp that was up there with him. He let out a gleeful whoop as the ground slipped from beneath him and he soared gracefully over the ramp...for about five seconds.

“Oh shit.” Ray noticed too late that A) he wasn’t going to make it too the street, B) there was another roof below the parking garage that much wider than anticipated, and C) said roof had a raised section of bumpy skylights and he was going to land right on it. The motorcycle bounced and threw him off onto the rough tiling of the roof. The bike itself crashed over the edge to the ground below. Cut, bruised and woozy, Ray picked himself up and peered carefully over the edge he had almost fallen off of.

“I’m ok,” he told Ryan, “but uh…” he looked around hopefully for a ladder and naturally did not find one. “I think I’m stuck.” Ray had to laugh. After everything, he was stuck on a roof –a roof just high enough where he would break his neck if he fell wrong, but not high enough that his parachute, which he always kept in his weapons bag, would be useful. He could jump he supposed, but he wasn’t sure if it was worth the risk.

 “All right, I’m coming to you,” Ryan said, accelerating past the cops who had finally thought to tail the speeding car driven by a crazy masked man. He made a mental note to apologize to Geoff in the backseat for his bumpy ride and tried not to wince as Geoff smacked the roof and windows as he flopped around bonelessly.

“What are the chances this umbrella would break my fall?” Ray asked curiously, peering over the side at the bright green umbrellas below. “Pretty good right? I’m gonna wait for you though.” Mostly because Ray didn’t actually think a flimsy umbrella would save his neck.

Ray looked around again, pacing back and forth on another roof. That was all he had done for a full day was paced around on first the parking garage roof and now this roof. Could he be more useless to the mission? He noticed a sign above one of the adjacent business offices and laughed again. “Schlongberg-Sachs,” he told Ryan. “I’m right by Schlongberg-Sachs. It’s like a Jewish dong.”

“Oh good we can invest the money we didn’t get!” Ryan said bitterly, making a quick turn away from the cops. The Gruppe Sechs and Schlongberg-Sachs building were directly ahead and Ryan jumped the sidewalk, whacking Geoff’s head with the roof again as he bounced into the courtyard toward the masked man on the roof.

“Oh I see you!” Ray said. “Ok wait there, I’ll jump on your car.” This was stupid, Ray knew that but what choice did he have? The sirens in the distance only reinforced the fact that needed to go and needed to go now. Not only did they need to escape, they also needed to find the others, and hit the convenience store, not necessarily in that order. Who knows, maybe when Ray broke his bones in this jump, the clerk would take pity on the Mexican with a broken leg?

With that cheerful thought, Ray backed up to the edge of the skylights and took off running as fast as he could. He threw his weapons bag ahead of him, approached the edge, and jumped—

He immediately knew he had jumped wrong He tipped forward, head over heels, and had a dizzying moment of confusing before the sidewalk slammed into his ass. “Ow…” Ray said, dazed as the world went grey with pain and Ryan laughed at his ridiculous landing.

“There is a cop right there that you almost landed on!” Ryan said through his laughter. “Get up! We gotta go.” Ray somehow managed to stand up and grab his weapons as the cops open fired on Ryan’s car. He didn’t remember getting in the car, but the next thing he knew, they were speeding off with the cops in hot pursuit.

“Ugh,” Ray groaned, shaking his head and getting a grip on himself. “Hey Geoff,” he said to their unconscious leader.” He shook himself again before focusing. “Ok. Heist is on. We’re hitting the convenience store.”

“Are you sure?” Ryan asked.

“Yeah let’s do it!”

“Ok, but let’s get into the subway and lose the cops,” Ryan said.

“Eat fresh!” Ray sang weakly.

Ryan, through some miraculously fancy driving, managed to get into the subway entrance with the car and jumped the turnstile. The tires barely gripped the slick linoleum, mostly because all four had been shot out, so they skidded around the corners of the subway station, running over several spectators by “accident” according to Ryan. They finally slammed to a stop by a set of stairs that the car could not traverse.

“We’ll have to go on foot,” Ryan decided.

“What about Geoff?” Ray asked as Ryan rummaged around in the glove compartment.

“Got it covered,” Ryan said, coming up with the car registration sheet and a pen. He flipped the paper over and hurriedly scrawled “Sorry Ray and I left you for dead. Hope you understand, no hard feelings. –R&R Connection.”

“Great,” Ray said dryly as they got out of the car. “Now Geoff can put that in our file when he both fires and murders us.”

Ryan and Ray sprinted down the stairs and into the dimly lit subway tunnels. Ryan consulted his map and realized that they had quite a ways to go before they came upon the exit. The cops had long since lost them he figured, not having seen them flee into the subway tunnel at all.

Running beside Ryan, Ray attempted to inquire about the rest of their team, asking through the headset if anyone was still alive. Unlike Ryan, Ray actually gave two shits about the team…or least half of one shit about the team. There was no answer and after a moment, Ray stopped trying and looked sideways at Ryan. Now that the chaos had subsided, Ray realized he was all alone with the Mad King.

“So…” Ray asked carefully, well aware of Ryan’s propensity for backstabbing. “What uh…what happened to Geoff.”

“Well…”Ryan said, just as carefully. Of all the AH Crew, Ray was the quickest, the quietest, and the most deadly. It was why he had been recruited. Ryan had to tread carefully here because Ray was also somewhat loyal to the gang. If he thought Ryan had double crossed Geoff, Ryan might find himself dead in the subway tunnels.

“We were at the back of the armored truck and I had to bust the lock,” Ryan replied honestly. “Geoff’s face got in the way, I took a swing—mistakes were made.”

Ray supposed it was possible. Unlikely, given Ryan’s track record, but possible. Given that Ryan had left Geoff behind in the car, Ray wasn’t inclined to believe it. At the same time, Ryan had grabbed Geoff and not left him at the scene of the crime. Ray wasn’t sure what to think.

“So, this convenience store,” Ray said slowly, testing the waters. “We uh…have no plan but for the two of us to rob it?” An open ended plan, no witnesses down here in the subway, Ryan’s somewhat hazy explanation of Geoff’s state…Ray was growing more distrustful by the minute.

Ryan look sidelong at Ray as well. Ray was a quick draw, there was no one in the subway, he clearly didn’t believe what happened to Geoff…that distrust was surfacing and Ryan wasn’t about to get on the wrong end of it. “Yeah well…” Ryan started to move his hand back to his pocket carefully so Ray couldn’t see. “There doesn’t have to be two—.”

“Don’t you do it!”

BANG!

Ryan took the slug right in the chest just as he leveled his gun.  Ray somehow managed to level and shoot his own weapon in the time it took Ryan to squeeze the trigger. Ryan’s shot went high as he fell backward, breath knocked out. The vest had stopped the bullet, but damned if it didn’t feel like his ribs weren’t trying to stab into his lungs.

Ray waited for Ryan to hit the ground before he rummaged in the wheezing man’s coat and found his wallet. He opened the wallet and counted the money. “Hmm,” Ray said, not even looking at Ryan as he gasped for air. “Yoink!” Ray pocketed Ryan’s money and tossed the wallet on Ryan’s chest.

“Four hundred and fifty five dollars,” Ray said, grinning down at his victim. “I’d say that’s a successful heist. No need to rob the convenience store.” Ray stood back up and punched the air.

“Ray wins!”

Ryan closed his eyes rather than face the man who had bested him. _Son of a bitch._

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“GEOFF! RAY! SOMEBODY!”

“Michael? Holy shit, what happened?”

“I’ll tell you what happened, Ray. You fucking shot me in the chest!”

“Shut up Ryan, I am trying to talk to Michael!”

Geoff came too in the car, groaning and putting his hand to his aching head. Something wet coated his palm and drew away a hand that was tacky with blood. What the…oh yeah. Ryan had tried to cave his head in. The heist! What had happened? Where was he?

Paper rustled as he sat up and he saw a note laying on his chest. “Sorry Ray and I left you for dead. Hope you understand, no hard feelings. –R&R Connection.” What?

That’s when Geoff realized he was in a car in the depths of the subway station. Ray and Ryan must have hauled him here and the dumped him when they couldn’t get the car down the stairs that were to his left. At that same moment he realized that Michael, Ray, and Ryan were all shouting in his earpiece.

“You god damn pieces of shit!” Geoff shouted, making his head throb.  “God damn it I am getting sick of fucking Ryan trying to fucking murder me! And Fay, you just fucking left me—!”

“Geoff!” Michael shouted. “Oh thank Christ! Geoff we’ve got a problem!”

Geoff noted the panic in Michael’s voice, which normal might have meant nothing but something about it made Geoff get an uncomfortable feeling in his gut. “Michael what happened?”

“The chopper blew up!” Michael shouted back. “It blew up and we took cover, but Jack! He was blown away from the chopper and we lost sight of him and then you guys took off by the time we were able to look for you and Jack was nowhere and then—“

“Michael, Michael, slow down,” Geoff said, getting out of the car. “What happened?”

“They got him!” Michael shouted. “The cops got him!”

“Got who?” Geoff said, dread uncoiling in his stomach. “Gavin?” _Please say Gavin…_

“Jack!” Michael said frantically. “They got Jack!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the actual heist, Ryan did get the money from the armored truck, but it all vanished when Ray killed him. Since that is again not how reality works, I adjusted it so that Ryan never got the money.
> 
> Also, just a couple of things to clarify in case you were wondering:  
> -The Fake AH Crew has headsets in at all times. That is how they are able to chat with one another when they are all separated.  
> -The Crew also constantly has bullet proof vests, duffle bags with their weapons, and parachutes in their duffle bags. That is how they can seemingly carry a variety of things on their person and survive a lot of the attacks.  
> -Most of the stuff that happens would kill the Crew, but I have stretched reality to make a better story. there is also a month between Heists to allow for healing.


	12. Fast Cash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geoff breaks some stuff and Michael talks a lot about crime, secret contacts, and getting got.

Geoff slammed out of Matt’s office, his face white with rage and his fingers itching for his gun. He slammed down the hallway, past Barbara and Gus’s office, past the bungalow, and back into the Achievement Hunter Office. The Crew was in there filming in GTA, but immediately stopped and turned as Geoff kicked the door in and surveyed them all, pissed to the highest possible level.

“Heist room. Now!”

With that the Fake AH Crew followed their infuriated leader into the nearby conference room, Gavin closing the door behind everyone and Ryan pulling the curtains. Everyone stared as Geoff mashed a button on the phone in the middle of the table. “Kara, can you tell Kerry to get the fuck into the conference room!” he barked, not waiting for the flustered Kara to reply before disconnecting. Everyone looked at each other, clearly unnerved but it was Gavin who finally had the courage to ask.

“Geoff what is it, what happened?”

“What happened?” Geoff asked, his voice cracking in his vexation. “What happened? I’ll tell you what fucking happened!” Geoff pointed at Ryan. “This idiot can’t stop team killing!” Geoff moved over to Ray. “This one can’t do anything period.” He pointed at Michael. “Your dumbass can’t stop making stupid mistakes!” Geoff smacked the phone off the table and into the wall, clearly having aimed for Gavin. “And you can’t handle the simplest of tasks. Thanks to all of your idiocies, Jack is now in lock up for the next 60 days and Matt refuses to bail him out!”

“Only 60 days?” Ryan asked, incredulously.

“He managed to convince the cops that he was taken hostage by these idiots,” Geoff said, jerking a thumb at Gavin and Michael. “He gave them descriptions that matched some of Simeon’s clowns and Matt at least paid off some goons to alter some of the evidence. So he got 60 days for running from the scene.”

“Isn’t that good news?” Ray asked.

Geoff glared ferociously. “No it’s not good news. The only one worth a damn is in lock up. We have to call in fucking Kerry and because Ryan’s a fucking psycho, Matt and Burnie are back to being all over our asses. The only good news is that the word on the street is the Fake AH Crew has pulled off three successful heists. No one knows we failed but us and our god damn employers who will grease our ass.” Geoff kicked a chair over and slammed his fists down on the table. “Get your fucking shit together guys!” he shouted. “We can’t afford any more mistakes! Do you fucking hear me now you sacks of shit?”

The Crew nodded, completely cowed by Geoff’s anger. Geoff shoved away from the table. “Michael, you’re up. Tell us your plan when Kerry gets here and God help you if it fails.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Kerry entered the room a short time later and settled behind the table next to Ray. Ryan skulked in the back, unhappy with the fact that Geoff had basically accused him of sabotage the one time he had actually accidentally caused mayhem. Geoff just stood in the back, trying to get a grip on his temper.

Michael stood at the front of the room in front of a heavily marked map. Despite being freaked out by Geoff earlier, he was strangely calm. He had planned out his heist carefully in the last week and had finally lit upon a good plan. He just hoped that the people he needed would go along with it.

The thing was the Michael was tired. He was tired of failing because he got stuck with Gavin, or failing because he was left out in harm’s way. Geoff constantly complained that so many of them mucked up the works. Maybe it was time to trim the fat on the AH Crew. It would all depend on Geoff though. Either Geoff would go with Michael’s plan, or he would put a bullet in Michael's brain. Yet given the towering rage the Geoff was in, Michael had a feeling that now was a good time to strike.

“All right,” Michael said to the strangely somber group. (That would change.) “It’s heist time. We’ve done this a few times and it hasn’t gone very well.”

“Someone tried to pull a fast one on me,” Ray grumbled.

“Not fast enough apparently,” Ryan snapped back.

Ray opened his mouth to argue, as did Geoff while looking murderous, but Michael cut them off. “Whoa, whoa, whoa! Here’s what happened last time: it got away from us. We can’t let our previous failures put us down.”

“I would just like to say for the record,” Ryan chimed in, raising his hand. “I didn’t hit Geoff. On purpose.”

Geoff’s face went so still that even Ryan was frightened.

“You punched him in the face,” Michael said carefully.

“He walked into it,” Ryan insisted, edging away from Geoff.

“Oh good God, I DON'T FUCKING CARE!” Geoff shouted. “It’s in the past, let’s move the fuck on!”

“New heist, new day!” Michael said, trying to regain control of the room. “Ok, so as you know Jack--he got got hard. He’s still in Los Santos lock-up. We’ve asked Kerry to step in for now.”

Kerry shook is hipster/skater boy haircut out of his face and grinned. “Guys I really appreciate this opportunity,” he said, clicking his pen and crouching over his notepad.

“Kerry the notes guy,” Ray muttered, rolling his eyes.

Ok!” Michael said loudly. “Let’s get down to it. Gavin,” he said, pointing at the big-nosed brit, who cringed. “Cut the shit. You’re the one, every heist ten seconds in—injured, unavailable, in the sewer, whatever! So step number one, complete the fucking heist. Goal number two—which is very unrealistic because it’s never gonna happen—have Gavin survive and be useful.”

Gavin looked triumphant, the other’s exasperated. It surprised no one that Michael would look out for his best friend, but it was rather annoying that it had been built into his heist plan. 

“In fact,” Michael said, gesturing to the map. “This heist is almost specifically design to keep Gavin alive because I feel that it would be just as much of a challenge as the actual heist.”

“So we’re leaving him in the apartment?” Ryan asked sarcastically.

Michael rolled his eyes. “No, we don’t want to be boring about it Ryan.” He turned to the map and pointed at the first of many dots. “All right, we are going to start the heist here, at my apartment. You can see it says plan A, Plan A stands for alcohol.” He looked back at the group. “We’re all going to get bevved up. Ray you can hit the bong, it’s a good substitute.”

“Can I do both?” Kerry asked, raising his hand.

Michael rolled his eyes yet again. One day they were just going to spin right out his head. “Yes Kerry, as long as you talk notes.”

“Booooth,”Kerry said, drawing out the word as he wrote it down carefully.

Michael rolled his eyes but kept going. “I’ve scoped out a location, some of you may be familiar with it. Some of us recently pulled the Fast Cash job there—it’s a bank. And we are going to hit it, hard.” Michael pointed to the map at the next marked spot. “The bank is here, everyone know it?” There were general murmurs of assent. “Ok so we are going to split up into three teams.

Michael turned back to the group. “Kerry, you and Geoff will be team…hm…OG doesn’t work since you’re not Jack. Let’s go with Team OG2.”

“Got it,” Kerry said, continue to scribble. Geoff rolled his eyes and gave Michael a look that could peel paint.

“You guys gotta get a helicopter and provide aerial support,” Michael hastily said before Geoff could cut in. “Kerry you’ll be flying, Geoff you’ll be leaning out of the helicopter giving covering fire while we’re in the bank.”

Geoff nodded. Capping some ass suited his mood well. There were worse jobs.

Michael looked at Gavin. “Gavin, you and I, Team Nice Dynamite, we’ll be hitting the bank, getting the money, taking out any witnesses.” Gavin grinned and Michael took a deep breath internally, praying to God Gavin could handle this.

“Ryan and Ray,” he continued, “R&R Connection—you’re the killing machines; you’ll be positioned outside the bank. You kill everyone in sight. All the cops—dead. You need to clear a path for Gavin and I.”

Ryan saluted.

“How do we get out Michael” Gavin asked, not liking the idea of charging out the door into a war zone.

“After Ryan and Ray clear a path, we will exit the bank and run across the street to this alley here.” Michael said, pointing at the map and tracing their path. “Ray and I know a guy—ex-military, no names—he’ll provide Gavin and I with two tanks. We’ll take the tanks all the way down into the southern part of the city here and merge into the trolley underground tunnel here. We’ll lose our police tail that way. At the end of the tunnel, we’ll have two bikes waiting because we haven’t used enough bicycles.”

“That’s true,” Ryan said.

Michael nodded. “This is also the most dangerous point in the heist for Gavin because he is out of the tank and on a bicycle.”

Everyone had a sudden vision of Gavin flying off a bicycle after being hit by a car…or somehow ending up on top of a mountain with a bicycle. No wait…that was the last job….

“It should be about forty feet to the dock and the boat waiting for us though,” Michael said reasonably. You need to be alive for like…ten seconds Gavin.”

“I can do that,” Gavin said cheerfully.

“I doubt that,” Geoff said nastily.

“We get in the boat and go around here,” Michael said, drawing a path around the edge of Los Santo until he came to a rocky coved beach they all new. “Right there, that’s the meeting point. That’s how Gavin and I get out,”

Michael moved on to Ray and Ryan, who were looking apprehensive about their roles already. In the end, it wouldn’t matter Michael knew but it was disconcerting to think they might have had even the slightest hint as to what Michael had in store for them in particular.

“Ray and Ryan,” he said carefully, “We have a tired and true tactic, I’m sure it will be fine—you guys are going to get away on a motorcycle.” Because it is about damn time someone else got flung off one of the god damn things, Michael thought to himself. 

“One or two?” Ray asked.

“One of course!”  
“Right…” Asshole, Ryan and Ray thought simultaneously.

“You wanna head north, take the cops into Los Santos County and lose them. You’re going to come around to the meeting point from the north, but halfway through, you’ll change vehicles. You’ll ditch your bike for a car that Geoff’s gonna plant here.”

“When do I plant it?” Geoff asked.

“Before we start,” Michael responded. “Now you and Kerry, you’ll be in the helicopter still. You’re gonna fly off, lose your police tail, and land the helicopter right by the Vinewood sign. There will be a car waiting for you there. You’ll come down through the city from the south side and meet up with Ray and Ryan.” Michael looks over at the R&R Connection and grimly adds “God bless their souls, if you should survive.”

Ray and Ryan choose equally ticked of looks to send back to Michael.

“There will be a boat waiting for you all here,” he says, pointing at the beach. “Now it’s a big job, a lot of vehicles, a lot of prep so I brought in a third party for the boat and other stuff. I gave him the ocular pat down. He’s a black market dealer, no names. We should be set.”

Michael traces their final path through the sea. “All three teams in the boats will travel east over here, we hit international waters to split up the money and we go our separate ways.” In more ways than one Michael thought to himself.

Ryan and Ray in particular look skeptical at this plan. True they were the strongest on the team as far as weapons and killing, but it seemed as though Michael deliberately was leaving them out in harm’s way. Ryan glanced over at Geoff to see if he had picked up on it too, but Geoff was still glowering and Ryan didn’t want to push it.

“All right,” Michael said. “Everyone know the plan?” The Crew responded with various noises of assent. “All right let’s do it! We meet tomorrow at my place.”

The gang got to their feet and headed out, Kerry still scribbling on his notepad. Geoff was about to be the last one out but Michael took a deep breath and took a big chance.

“Geoff can I talk to you for a minute?”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Geoff reversed path and stepped back into the conference room at Michael’s words, shutting the door behind him. He was still pissed about Jack and despite Michael’s solid sounding plan, he was not optimistic about anything anymore. It didn’t help that they were dragging a rookie along with them and the Geoff himself had gotten stuck with him.

Michael looked nervous while Geoff waited for him to speak. Finally the man shrugged, like he was throwing caution to the wind. “So…Geoff…fuck Ryan and Ray.”  
Geoff looked back at Michael in surprise. He supposed he should have seen this coming. There was so much tension in the group that he should have expected a split long ago, he just wouldn’t have pegged Michael as the one that broke. It wasn’t that shocking still. Michael was one of the few who took these jobs seriously and he was fed up with the slacking off, the failure, and the betrayal (mostly courtesy of Ryan.) True, Gavin was a large cause of their problems, but Michael was too close to the Brit. He would never sacrifice him. But Ryan the traitor and Ray the wild card? Fair game.

“Hear me out,” Michael said hastily. “All Ryan does any more is throw us under the god damn bus to save his own fucking neck. And Ray is too close to him and is clearly hiding his own abilities and assets. I mean did you hear how fast he too Ryan down last week? He isn’t giving his all to the crew unless it suits him and I am god damn sick of it.”

“Why tell me this?” Geoff asked. “What the fuck makes you think I won’t kill you were you stand?”

Michael cringes. “Because Ryan and Ray left you for dead and for lockup last week. And Ray stood by while we did all the work. You really gonna let that stand? Ryan is too much of a loose cannon and Ray is too much of an unknown, despite the years we all have together.” Michael paused for a moment. “I can get Gavin up to scratch, you know I can. With Ray and Ryan gone, we might have a shot at a clean job with no trail of dead bodies and livestock. I mean where the fuck is Ryan even finding that shit?”

Geoff thought about this for a moment. Did he really want to encourage this mutiny? Could he really knock off two of his own while scrambling to keep the gang above water before Matt and Burnie capped them all?

Maybe it was the way his head throbbed where Ryan had hit him, or the bruises he felt from flopping around the getaway car just before Ray and Ryan left him. Maybe it was the anger at Jack being locked up when he and Michael and Gavin alone had done their jobs last week, Gavin’s shenanigans notwithstanding.

Whatever it was, Geoff was pissed and he wanted someone to pay. His temper got the better of him this once. And he hoped it wouldn’t bit him in the ass.

“So what’s the real plan?” Geoff asked.

Michael grinned. “Ok, so, Ryan and Ray are definitely gonna die on that bike or in that fight. Or at least go dark like we all do at some point in these jobs. I wanna ensure it. I want them dead as shit. Ryan’s going to fucking betray everyone as always. We are all dead if Ryan’s in play.”

Geoff rubbed his sore head. “Unfortunately true.”

“Ray’s too quick. Like I said, what he did to Ryan last time? I can’t trust him anymore. I don’t want anybody that good on our team because I feel threatened, don’t you.”

Geoff nodded hesitantly.  
“So, hopefully they die on the bike,” Michael said. “But if they don’t, the vehicle you’re going to plant is going to have explosives in it.”

Geoff shuffles his feet for a moment, looking at the ground and weighing this idea. “Ignition bomb?”

“Yup,” Michael replied grinning. “The second they start the car—boom!” he shouted, banging the table for emphasis. “Hopefully they both die. If one survives, play dumb. They’ll be in the middle of nowhere, out in the woods and confused. Blame it on Simeon or some shit. We are being targeted by his crew so they’ll probably buy it.”

“Sometimes shit goes wrong,” Geoff adds.

“Yeah,” Michael says. “Right. So then if one of them happens to make it, we’ll take them out on the beach.” Kill them in cold blood, Geoff thinks. “The three of us escape then, split the money, and go our separate ways.”

Geoff thinks for a moment. The plan would eliminate two of the five problems he drags around with him, including one of the worst. He still had his reservations, but maybe with a smaller, more manageable crew he could cut their losses and reduce the chaos that followed them. If he had the luxury, he’d bump Michael too for planning this act of betrayal but he couldn’t. The man had money and resources the gang needed. Gavin had the foreign contacts too. But Ray and Ryan, despite their talents, were expendable.

Geoff sighed heavily. “All right. Fuck…let’s do it.

It wasn’t until much later that Geoff realized the Michael had said “the three of us.”


	13. Plan Alcohol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael's actions are mysteriously absent while Kerry learns to fly. Meanwhile Geoff makes a tough decision, Ryan and Ray go shopping, and Gavin breaks a bunch of stuff.

Plan A went well. Everyone hit the booze and Ryan spiked some of the green smoothie Lindsay kept on hand. Ray was not a drinker so he hit the bong and Geoff immediately went to the whiskey upon arrival, not even bothering to wait for the others. There was a healthy buzz all around which helped take the tension out of the air. That was important to the plan: no one could suspect anything was wrong.

“Michael the Vinewood sign is important, right?” Kerry asked as Michael stood up to start ushering everyone outside.

“Yes Kerry, it is,” Michael replied exasperatedly.

Kerry giggle a little, peering through Michael’s telescope. “I checked it out and it’s good. Gave it an ocular pat down.”

“Good job,” Michael said, meeting Geoff’s eye roll with one of his own. “All right, so let’s head out and we’ll get started. Ray, you and I will go pick up the tanks. Gavin, go to your garage and get your bicycle ready so you can have your mechanic deliver it when needed.”

The gang hit the street with Michael still giving instructions. “Kerry, you need to get a helicopter, preferably one that can seat four people. Geoff you need to get a car for Ray and Ryan.”

Geoff nodded and made a quick call to his mechanic.

“Should I go in the base and get a tank or call the guy?” Ray asked, watching Kerry hijack a car and drive away while Geoff fought with his mechanic.

“We’ll call the guy,” Michael said. “We’re doing a clean sweep on this one.”

“Got it,” Ray replied.

“These aren’t my cars,” Gavin said in Michael’s earpiece.

“Did you go in your garage or my garage?” Michael asked, annoyance clear in is voice. Gavin was forever going into Michael’s garage. They lived in the same building and had joining garages and Gavin could not for the life of him remember which door was his.

Ryan ignored the Gavin/Michael garage debate and got in his own vehicle. “Hey Ray, you and I are going to be outside so…we’re probably going to need some kind of cover…or you know…camouflage.”

“Ooh yeah,” Ray said, catching Ryan’s meaning. Ryan needed to get Ray alone to discuss their plan of attack. They both had suspicions about Michael and they needed to make sure that they would pull through this long enough to find out if their suspicions had merit. “You uh, thinking a new outfit? Maybe masks?”

Ryan grinned to himself. “I like it! The mask will protect us.”

Ray laughed and checked his phone as he received a text. It was his Pegasus contact, letting him know where they had dropped the tank. Ray groaned. He had left it right outside the damn theater where everyone and their mother could see it. Ray pulled off as the tank came into view. “Well, my guy left this in an interesting spot.” Ray hoped into the tank and carefully maneuvered it into traffic, following Michael's tank into an alley.

Meanwhile, Kerry was heading for the airport in search of a helicopter, having stolen a car discreetly. His driving however left something to be desired. As he accelerated around the corner, he realized too late that he was going to fast. 

"No, no, no, Aaaaah!” He slammed into a guard rail, denting the whole front half of the car and smacking hard into the dashboard.

“Kerry you ok?” Geoff asked.

“Everything’s fine,” he replied hurriedly, wiping at the small bloody gash hurriedly and backing up his now severely dented car. "On the way to the airport.” He couldn’t let them know he crashed or that he was anything less than perfect when it came to flying helicopters. He had to save face or they’d never bring him in again.

Geoff’s mechanic finally got with the program and delivered his car around the corner from Michael’s apartment, well after everyone had left the area. The street was deserted and the mechanic grumbled as he tossed Geoff the key and walked off without a word. Geoff made well and truly sure he was gone before he reached into his coat and pulled out the pre-prepared ignition bomb kit that Michael had dropped at his house the night before.

Geoff stood there for a minute, staring at the small bundle in his hands. Was he really gonna do this? Was he really going to buy into Michael’s plan and blow two of his gang members to hell? He looked at the bright pink truck before him and listened for just a bit as the Fake AH Crew did their work. He heard Michael and Ray start their tanks and stash them around the corner from the banks, whooping and laughing at the thrill of driving such dangerous vehicles. He heard the whir of a chopper as Kerry completed his objective nervously fiddled with the controls, muttering to himself. He listened to Gavin chirp excitedly as he found his garage and his bicycle, doing a few tricks in the street that mostly ended with him flying over the handlebars. But most of all, he listened until Ray met up with Ryan to go shopping. He listened to them joke and laugh as they browsed the mask store, picking out some kind of “Army of Two vibe” mask and chatting excitedly about their plans.

Geoff shook his head. He was better than this. The plan he had agreed to in anger was quickly losing its appeal. Yes the Crew had much to answer for, and yes Jack's capture made him hate everything since Jack was his first gang member and the only one worth a damn, but it couldn't end like this. He would deal with Michael and take the traitorous little shit out if necessary, but for now, he would take the high road.

Quietly, he withdrew his pliers and cut the cords on the ignition bomb. He swiftly disarmed and disassembled it before bundling it up and getting in his car. “All right boys,” he said cheerfully. “I’ve found you a…incredibly pink getaway vehicle. Got some sweet armor on it too.”

“Good job, Geoff!” Michael said immediately.

Geoff started the car and drove off, following the path Michael laid out for him. He did take one detour, around the PCH where he hopped out of the car and hurled the kit into the water.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“The stank shirt is tempting," Ryan said to Ray holding the shirt up and looking at it inquisitively.

“I could get behind that,” Ray said, looking around to make sure they were alone.

“All right boys,” Geoff said suddenly in their ear, the man having been mysteriously silent for the better part of an hour. “I’ve found you a…incredibly pink getaway vehicle. Got some sweet armor on it too.”

“Good job Geoff!” Michael said quickly, too quickly.

Ryan looked around carefully before adjusting his ear piece subtly. He moved the small piece protruding towards his mouth so that it pointed up and behind his ear, well away from the direction his voice would carry. Ray mimicked him.

“Yeah, that car’s going to explode,” Ryan muttered quietly.

“That or we are going to get gunned down by the cops while we’re covering their ass,” Ray said bitterly. “How convenient for Michael huh?”

“Fuck Michael,” Ryan said viciously. “I’m more pissed off that Geoff is clearly in on it.”

“You think Gavin and Kerry are too?”

“Nah, Gavin has a conscious and Kerry is too stupid.”

“So what do we do?” Ray asked.

“Well assuming we live through the cops and the motorcycle getaway, we head for that burner car,” Ryan said simply.

Ray frowned at him. “We’ll blow up.”

“Or,” Ryan said dramatically, “we blow IT up first. We blow it up, go radio silent. We meet them on the beach later and pick them off one by one.”

“And if we don’t survive?” Ray asked, doubtfully.

Ryan grinned showing all of his teeth like a predator. “Then we fucking haunt them until we’re dead.” He flipped his ear pierce back into position and held up another shirt. “What about the Signs V-neck. Kinda appropriate, don’t you think?”

Ray looked at the shirt and can’t help but snort and laugh at it. “Yes. I will absolutely wear that.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

After finally making his way into his garage, Gavin manged to get his bike and plant it at the spot he and Michael agreed upon. He then ran back into Michael's garage and planted his too. Michael didn't have a lock on his and Gavin hope fervently that the bike wouldn't get stolen. It was stashed randomly outside of a street car tunnel. Who would look for bikes her?

Satisfied that the bikes were set, he put in a quick call and purchased a boat. He arrange to have it delivered to the docks and started to steal a car to get there. As he prepared to break the car window, he had a much more interesting idea. 

Helicopter.

It came as no surprise that twenty minutes later, the Crew heard a horrible squawk and a loud explosion ringing in their ears.

“God damnit!” Michael shouted in frustration. “GAVIN!”

“I’m ok!” Gavin yelled back as he surfaced, spitting out a mouthful of dirty water.

“What happened?” Geoff asked wearily.

Gavin was treading water by the docks looking at the floating, burning wreckage of his new boat, which drifted calmly next to the sinking pieces of helicopter. He had forgotten that if he jumped from the helicopter it would cease flying and crash into him. Oops.

“I tried to jump into my boat with style,” Gavin replied slowly, bracing himself for Michael’s wrath, “but uh…”

“Did you blow the boat up?!” Michael asked.

“Yeah…” Gavin said, hanging his head. “Don’t worry though, I’ll get another one.”

Michael swore.

“Michael that was disappointment in your voice,” Kerry observed snarkily. Although really, why was Michael disappointed. This was par for the course with Gavin. Michael replied with more swearing and did not answer Kerry's taunt.

“Kerry, I’m ready for pick up,” Geoff said. “I’m at Trevor’s Airfield.

“On my way!” Kerry replied, turning the helicopter around and flying towards the airfield. Flying the helicopter turned out not to be that bad. Taking off and maneuvering was easy. As the airfield approached and he realized that he would have to land it…well that’s where things got dicey.

“You’re fine,” he said as he slowed the chopper and started to descend. “You’re fine, you’re fine, you can do this—ugh!”

The chopper jolted heavily, but he was on the ground and Geoff chose not to comment on the less than perfect landing. “Ok, the burner vehicle is on Trevor’s airfield, it’s impossible to miss. It’s pink as dicks.”

“Pink as dicks,” Ryan repeated, appreciating the simile.

“Yeah,” Geoff replied, hopping in the chopper with Kerry. “All right Kerry, we should probably head to Ammunation so I can pick up some ammo.”

“That’s a good idea guys,” Michael added. “Stock up on ammo, body armor, all the gubs.” 

That means you Gavin, everyone thought to themselves.

Geoff leaned out of the helicopter, looking at the tree tops passing under his feet. Like literally under his feet. Like if he had stuck his foot out of the chopper, he could have dropped kicked a pine cone.

“Kerry you sure are flying low,” Geoff remarked casually, feeling regret build up. Had Kerry ever flown a helicopter before?

Kerry laughed nervously and pulled at the controls. The shifted a few times, as though the helicopter was as nervous and unsure as its pilot. Eventually they rose another foot or two in the air, still not high enough for Geoff’s comfort.

Geoff attempted a joke to put Kerry at ease, or himself maybe. “You know what rhymes with Kerry—scary!” Kerry laughed again and after a few nervous shifts again, they rose a bit more. Geoff didn’t like this, not one bit. “Trees are a helicopter’s natural enemy Kerry. Just…remember that!”

Back at the Binco, Ryan and Ray were trying on camo shorts and arguing about the different shades of camouflage. Ray wanted didn’t care by Ryan kept saying “clothes make the man.” After much debate, Ryan realized that they were I the city and therefore needed urban camo. They move on to shoes but really what could you match with camo?

“OH!” Ray exclaimed excitedly after a minute. “Check these out!”

Apparently leopard print shoes went with came because Ryan and Ray exited the store sporting the weirdest amalgam of clothes a heist had seen.

Gavin had finally gotten the boat back in place and had stolen a new car to regroup back at Michael’s apartment, Ryan and Ray stopped by ammunition to load up as did Geoff and Kerry while Michael double checked the tanks positions. As everything was coming together, Michael did feel some regret about what he had planned, but not enough. Ray and Ryan were liabilities, risks to his own health. He couldn’t let them get him.

“I wonder if this will be the first heist that is successful.” Gavin wondered out loud.

He hoped so. Michael really fucking hoped so.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
The Crew regrouped at Michael’s apartment, an oddly dressed R&R Connection on their motorcycle next to Michael in a stolen “mom car” as he called it. Gavin was still fighting through traffic and Kerry and Geoff were inbound to pick him and Michael up to head to the bank.

“We look so good,” Ray said excitedly. “We’re matching, we’re on a motorcycle that says Teserect. We’re gonna be slaying the pink!”

“Dude don’t slay the pink, lay!” Michael responded. He was grateful for the tinted windows of his mom car because his face was hidden from the duo parked next to him. Despite his easy joking tone, he knew his face would give him away. He had not expected to be alone with Ray and Ryan and watching them joke and laugh, he was feeling guilty. Not enough, but it still was unpleasant.

“Kerry,” Michael; said as a thought struck him. “You have a four-seater helicopter right?”

“Yeah,” Kerry replied.

“Ok you can pick me and Gavin up and fly us over the bank,” Michael said. “Gavin and I can parachute out action style!”

Gavin whooped excitedly.

“So you guys we’ll stay in the air, we’ll run in, Ray and Ryan will the care of the cops outside.”

“Fucking kill everybody,” Ray agreed.

“Got it,” Kerry said, reaching in his pocket for his notepad to edit his notes. His finger met nothing. “Oh damn, I left my notes back in the heist room!”

“Kerry evidence!” Michael shouted. “Damn it!” Michael gnashed his teeth angrily. Oh well, it didn’t matter. He could destroy the notes later.

“So uh…were’ gonna be there in the helicopter and then…” Kerry frowned trying to remember what he had written. “…what are we doing?”

“You’re gonna give us covering fire until Ray and Ryan leave and Gavin and I get to our tanks,” Michael said, very, very, patiently as he tried not to yell at Kerry for his lack of detail retention. “Then you guys are going take off, try to lose your wanted level…fuck!”

“What?” Kerry asked, jumping and making the helicopter jump with him.

“Someone needs to put a car up near the Vinewood sign for you guys,” Michael said. He knew he forgot something.

“I’ll do it,” Kerry said, whipping out his phone. “I’ll just call…um…who do I call?”

Michael face palmed and Kerry looked over at the heist leader nervously.

“Call your mechanic,” Michael said, still trying not to yell.

“I don’t have one…”Kerry said, scrolling through his contacts. “I’ll call the insurance company. They’ll know what to do.”

“GOD DAMN IT!” Michael shouted, punching the helicopter’s control panel. “Kerry, you’re killing me!” Michael grabbed his phone. “I’ll do it. My Bifta will be up at the Vinewood sign for you.”

“Sorry guys,” Kerry said, hanging his head. Geoff groaned internally. He really was missing Jack on this one.

Gavin came screeching around the corner in his 500th stolen vehicle that day and started burning rubber on his back tires and doing donuts wildly in a tight circle.

Ray coughed from the smoke Gavin was laying in the street. “Gavin you are gonna pop your tires if you keep doing that.”

Gavin giggled. “Oh I’m so scared for my little Prius tires,” he said in a high falsetto voice. Still, he stopped burning his tires and instead hopped out of the car and onto the roof while Michael called hiss mechanic. Instead of heading for the chopper, he punched through the sun roof, grinning at the satisfying sound of broken glass.

“Wow,” Ryan said dryly. “You just bare-knuckle busted that thing. How is your fist?”

“GAVIN!” Michael was done with the mechanic, his Bifta in place for Geoff and Kerry, and he had noticed that Gavin had yet to get in the chopper.

“Stop punching a car and get in the helicopter!” Geoff yelled.

“I thought you were gonna come pick me up,” Gavin grumbled, jumping down and heading to the helicopter.

“Yeah we’re gonna move eight feet so you can kill yourself trying an action stunt,” Michael snapped to laughter from the crew.

“Good point,” he said, opening the passenger door to the cockpit and pulling himself inside. “All right I’m in!”

“All right!” Michael said, his palms sweating as his pre-heist adrenaline rush started to swing into action. “Heist begins guys. Let’s head for that bank.”

Michael carefully avoided looking at Ryan and Ray as the zoomed past in the motorcycle. He didn’t look at Geoff either, or Kerry, or Gavin, or anything in particular. Instead he looked up at the sky and focused in the risk he was taking and the betrayal he would be responsible for it.

It had to work. It all had to work or he was sure as shit a dead man walking.


	14. Yo Dawg, We Heard You Like Heists So We Put Heists in Your Heist!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> High emotions, betrayal, and murder run wild as Michael's plan answers the question of the ages: What IS everyone doing on Wednesdays?
> 
> Warning: Extremely long and emotional chapter!

The Crew was flying over the city, two of the members racing through the streets below. The bank came into view almost immediately and Michael broke out into a nervous sweat as the chatter of his gang mates filled his ears and nudged his conscious.

Michael mentally shook himself and focused on the task at hand as he reached for the parachute beside him and shrugged into it. Gavin already had his strapped on and was leaning out of the chopper ready to spring at Michael’s command. Geoff had his gun in hand ready to cover them and Kerry was carefully guiding the helicopter into position.

“Michael I’m doing camera surveillance,” Gavin informed him as he peered through the camera lens he had –for reasons best known to himself--strapped to his sniper rifle.

“How’s it looking?” Michael asked rolling his eyes.

“Good and green,” Gavin replied.

Michael looked down at the bank which was almost directly below them. “Kerry give us some altitude.” Kerry did as he was bid and Michael watched the ground drop farther and farther away.

Ryan and Ray pulled up alongside the bank and hopped off the bike, adjusting their masks. The sidewalk was eerily deserted for the most part and no one really took notice of two masked men rolling up on the sidewalk in weird clothes with guns in hand. This was Los Santos after all.

“Everyone ready?” Michael asked, adjusting his parachute once more. The Crew responded in the affirmative. “All right…3…2…1…go!”

Michael and Gavin dove out of the helicopter, the whoosh of the wind drowning out every sound as they leaped into the hard pull of gravity. Michael spread out his limbs, slowing his descent slightly so he could better time his chute pull. Gavin pulled arms and legs in tight against his body and streaked like a missile through the sky. Michael was terrified for a moment that the idiot was going to kill himself, but he pulled his chute at just the right moment, seconds before Michael pulled his. Both of them jerked upright as they came to a sudden slow and began drifting gently to the ground.

“Looking good boys,” Geoff told them, talking loudly over the action-style music that Gavin was singing loudly into his head set.

“Geoff how’s your angle?” Kerry asked.

“My angle’s perfect Kerry,” Geoff replied, peering down the length of his gun. “If you can hover here, we’re set.”

“All right coming in, Michael said as the ground got closer. He could see Ray and Ryan now getting closer…and closer…and closer…too close!

“Augh!” Michael yelled as he slammed into Ray, knocking the man over and barely getting his feet under him. Ray rolled to avoid getting dragged up in the parachute and Michael stumbled a bit before being engulfed by the brightly colored fabric.

“Nice landing,” Ray growled as Michael fought his way out of the parachute.

Gavin had been making lazy loops in the air while waiting for Michael to land first and finally was closing in on the bank. His goal was to land right in front of the door so that he and Michael could burst in smoothly and start robbing the place. As he made his descent he realized that just maybe he hadn’t thought his landing all the way through.

“Ooohhhpppp!” Gavin yelled as he came in way too low and way too fast. He slammed into the front stairs hard, throwing his arms out to break some of the fall. His lip burst open and blood dribbled down his chin and his kneecaps smashed against the concrete as his chute fanned out behind him.

“GAVIN!” Michael yelled. “Jesus are you ok?”

Gavin lay paralyzed for a minute as the roar of pain subsided to a dull throb in most of his body. He spat blood and possibly a tooth out of his mouth and got to his feet. Miraculously nothing was broken, though both of his knees felt like death. He might have fractured something but he could still move well enough more importantly he could lift his gun. He shook his head, trying to get rid of the wooziness and looked back at Michael.

“I’m fine. Let’s do this.”

Michael ran up the steps to the bank and pulled out his gun. This was it. This was the real beginning. As soon as they entered that bank some teller would raise the alarm and the cops would be all over them. Despite promising himself he wouldn’t, he looked up at the helicopter where Geoff waited, faithful to Michael’s plan. Then he looked down at Ryan and Ray standing armed on the street without cover and without a prayer. The full weight of his actions sank in at that moment as Ryan and Ray stood framed against the street, ready to kill for his plan. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t let them get killed….could he?

“GO!” Gavin yelled, kicking the door to the bank in. The alarm immediately went off and laid to rest Michael’s doubt. He was too late now. His conscious had come too late. He had to stay the course. It was better this way anyhow.

Michael and Gavin ran into the bank, guns blazing, pulse racing. “Gimme the money!” Michael shouted, firing a couple rounds into a nearby column to scare the tellers. “Where’s the money!”

“Gimme the money bitches!” Gavin shrieked wildly.

Michael stared around the bank, looking for people to take hostage, but the bank was empty. Strange. And no one was screaming. Stranger. Gavin ran immediately through a door to the back, no doubt in search of safety deposit boxes, or even in search of victims.

Michael approached the teller windows and realized immediately, something was wrong: there was no one seated at the desk. Had they hit the floor already?

“Gavin get over here,” Michael said, his voice oddly quiet in contrast to the adrenaline rushing through his veins. Something was off. Something was wrong. He peered over the counter. No one was there.

“Hang on, it’s a big bank I’m lost,” Gavin said, running in circles upstairs trying to find the door that lead back down. “I’m used to convenience stores!”

Outside, Ryan and Ray kept their eyes and ears sharp on the street outside but had yet to hear the tell-tale signs of cops. In fact, they had yet to hear anything suspicious. No one passing by took any notice of them, despite the masks, weird clothes, and giant guns they had in plain view.

“Ray, does it seem like nobody is at all curious why we are standing outside with guns?” Ryan asked, trepidation evident in his voice.

“People don’t ask questions in Los Santos,” Ray said bracingly, but everyone could hear the doubt in his voice. Something was majorly off. 

“This place is looking empty,” Michael said to the group at large as her returned to the front of the bank.

Gavin wandered around looking for anyone he could rob or shoot. “Is this an alarm?” he wondered out loud, considering a giant red circle above the exits upstairs. He lifted his gun and shot it, the circle exploding in bits of metal. The ringing alarms stopped immediately. “Not anymore.”

Michael stopped by the exit downstairs. He had found something. By the door was a small plaque detailing the bank's information, supervisor, contact information, and hours. He stared at the plaque, dumbstruck.

“Guys,” Michael said tremulously. “Guys it’s Wednesday…”

“And?” Geoff asked impatiently.

Michael stared at the plaque, at the hours, at the raised metal letters that formed the word Wednesday and the smaller letters below it that formed a word. Not numbers, but a word.

“Guys…the bank’s closed on Wednesdays,” Michael said.

Everyone froze, even the helicopter seemed to stop swaying as the full weight of Michael’s words sunk in. Then, just to make matters worse, Ryan and Ray outside heard the very last thing they wanted to hear before the Crew had gotten away with any money.

Police sirens.

Then…it was chaos.

“Here comes the first cop!” Ryan yelled to Ray, who immediately aimed at the approaching police car. The cop leaned out of the car, gun in hand, but Ray was already on him. The entire Crew winced as gunfire rang out suddenly and the cop car slammed into a car in the nearby intersection as its driver died at Ray’s hands.

“Plan C!” Michael yelled, waving to Gavin frantically and signaling that they needed to move out of the bank. “Plan C! We go to the convenience store north of here!”

“How do we get out Michael?” Gavin asked, panic in his voice as they ran for the front doors.

“I don’t know, but—!” The muffled sound of exploding vehicles met their ears and Michael broke out in a cold sweat. “Oh shit Gavin, we gotta get out of here!”

Geoff shouted to Kerry to swing the chopper back into position and he leaned out, aiming at the cops converging on Ray. He was grateful he grabbed a gun with a scope as it allowed him to aim carefully into the fray. He focused his fire to provide as much back-up to Ryan and Ray as possible since they were so exposed on the ground.

“Killing cops,” he yelled to Michael and Gavin in the bank. “We’re killing cops, move!”

“Ryan, come on we have to get the motorcycle,” Ray shouted. “We have to move position!”

Ryan sprinted to Ray, shooting wildly over his head behind him as he jumped on the bike. Ray, already on the bike, gunned the engine and took off into traffic, nearly taking them both out against a puke-green sedan. They wove between stopped traffic and screaming pedestrians, sirens blaring right behind them.

Michael and Gavin burst out of the bank into a collection of dead cops, busted vehicles, and helicopter noise. Kerry still hovered overhead while Geoff had switched targets to the incoming police choppers. Michael looked around desperately and saw an abandoned car at the curb, still running with its door opened, likely abandoned by a terrified bystander. He jumped into the car and slammed on the horn to signal Gavin who raced to him as police cars zoomed down the street in front of them, likely in pursuit of Ray and Ryan. So far they were intent on them and not on Michael and Gavin, which was good for them.

Ryan and Ray approached the convenience store with seemingly every cop in the world behind them. Ray spotted an alley on one side of the street and a large parking lot on the other side, both in easy viewing distance to the targeted store. They alley had walls and a few dumpsters and if they got desperate they could run to the abandoned parking kiosk across the street for cover.

“We’ve got cover!” Ray announced triumphantly to Ryan and to the others as he pulled into the alley. “This is much better!” Ryan and Ray got off the bike and each took a wall, reloading frantically as the sirens approached. They could hear Michael, Gavin, and Geoff all shouting and Ryan took advantage of their distraction to speak plainly to Ray.

“Ray we might not get out of this,” Ryan said. “We might not make it to pay Michael back.”

“I know,” Ray replied.

“If I go down get out of here.”

“Ditto,” Ray said.

Ray and Ryan looked each other and nodded once in confirmation, both knowing full well that they would do no such thing.

Ray heard running feet coming from the sidewalk beside him and he swung out from behind the wall, unloading into the approaching assailant. The woman, clearly not an officer, shrieked as she died.

“That woman was not a cop,” Ray announced, slightly embarrassed.

Back on the streets, Michael was driving crazily, jumping onto sidewalks and possibly mowing down an innocent bystander or two as he shouted instructions to Kerry. “Fly to the convenience store! Everybody get to the convenience store.” 

“Ryan and I are here already!” Ray shouted, stepping out again and laying into some approaching cops. 

Michael finally saw the store in question ahead. They were almost there, they just had to get in, rob it, and not have Gavin get murdered.

On the opposite side of the street, Ryan ran out, yanking his grenade launcher out of his duffle and aiming at some approaching police cars. Behind them he saw Michael and Gavin approaching and it would be so easy to shift his aim just a bit and end this here. But as the chopper came into view, he didn’t like the odds of outrunning an angry airborne Geoff, which would likely be the case if he took out one of their own. Instead, Ryan set his aim and launched a grenade into the oncoming vehicle. He hit the cop car perfectly and the explosion launched it into the air, spinning it a few times before it blew up on impact with the ground.

The street in front of Gavin and Michael exploded at the police car’s impact, breaking the car windows and making Michael swerve from the blast. Gavin, Michael, Kerry, and Geoff all yelped in surprise.

“What the fuck was that?” Michael shouted.

“We’re covering you, come on!” Ryan yelled.

Michael slammed on the breaks and wrenched the steering wheel, jumping the curb and smacking into a traffic signal as the car stopped. He reached for the car door handle, eyes on the convenience store when a second horrible realization came over him as the gated windows came into view.

“Oh God, the convenience store is closed!”

“What’s everyone doing on Wednesday?!” Kerry shouted in frustration.

Ray swore. “Do you have a plan D?” He turned to look at Michael and a cop leaped into the street behind him. Focused on the newest hitch in the plan, Ray didn’t see the cop as he took aim at Ray’s unprotected head.

“Look out Ray!” Ryan shouted swinging his gun around and firing. Ray hit the ground as soon as Ryan shouted and the shot caught the cop in the head. He dropped like a stone. Ray shot back to his feet and shot the cop’s chest a few times for good measure.

“Thank Ryan!” Ray yelled.

“What now Michael?” Gavin asked, panicked as he helped Ryan and Ray fend off the approaching police. He was crouched behind their stolen car shooting at anything that moved.

“Hang on, hang on, hang on, I’ll get it, I’ll get it!” Michael said frantically, running up to the door. Behind the glass he saw the clerk ducked behind the counter, trembling and eyeing the outside nervously. Not closed then, he just locked up when he heard the gunfire…and stupidly forgot to pull down the gate over the door. “Gavin, take the car and go hide around the corner!” 

In the alley, Ryan stumbled as a shot rang out and a white-hot track of pain streaked across his arm. He took out the cop that shot him, just as another slug grazed his thigh. Shorts may have been a bad idea. For every cop he and Ray took out more were coming. In the alley they had created a crazy bottleneck where they could easily take out cops but could also easily be trapped and overwhelmed. A quick check of Ray showed him that his co-killing machine was bleeding from several exposed places on his arms and legs and he had the thought again that they may in fact die here.

“This is getting grim!” Ryan shouted to Michael, hoping the bastard would hurry up.

He didn’t want to die here. Not without the chance to complete the job and make Michael pay. He could probably convince Ray to abandon the mission, but Ray wouldn’t abandon Gavin. Most of them actually wouldn’t abandon Gavin despite the jokes. He was the only innocent here and the only one whose intentions were always good if really fucking stupid. They also owed Geoff, even if he was in on it, because of them ditching him during the last job. Ray was a team player and despite all the double-crossing going on he wouldn’t bail the others and Ryan didn’t want to bail on Ray.

Besides if they got out of this their victory would be all the sweeter when they killed Michael. 

Upon hearing Ryan’s shout, Geoff aimed at more of the police on Ryan’s side, trying his best to cover Michael (hey, they still needed the money for the RT Syndicate) and keep Ryan and Ray alive. “I’m killing cops left and right,” he said to the last two, hoping they somehow understood his intention.

Michael was out of time to think. He shot through the glass door, shattering the whole thing and jumping through the opening. “Gimme the money!” he screamed at the clerk, pleased to see that the man was actually already loading the bag. “I’m robbing the store,” he said to the others. “Make sure I have cover!”

Ray aimed his own grenade launcher at the seemingly ceaseless flow of police coming in on Ryan’s side. Three quick shots caused a giant explosion and when the smoke cleared, they had a temporary respite. “Oh, you’re covered,” Ray said confidently.

“Yeah you’ve got tons of cover, dude” Geoff said, looking at Ryan and Ray’s decimation below.

“There’s cops right below us!” Kerry yelled at Geoff, who immediately leaned out and started dropping grenades like they were…grenades.

“If this was GTA I would have four stars,” Ray announced as he blew up yet another fleet of approaching policemen and cars.

Suddenly there was a roar from the sky that caused Geoff and Kerry to look to their side and Ryan and Ray to look up. No less than three helicopters, machine gun mounted, came flying into their position, SWAT officer leaning out of the sides with guns trained on Ryan and Ray. One swung off and lowered ropes as SWAT members jumped own, intent on the two masked men.

“They’re trying to rope them in!” Kerry yelled.

“Ryan, across the street!” Ray shouted, sprinting out from under cover. They could hide in the parking booth across the way and hopefully stand their ground while Michael completed the robbery. Ryan and Ray raced across the street and took cover behind the parking booth as they both reloaded and switched to their heaviest guns.

“This is mental right now!” Gavin shouted, peeking around the corner of his hiding spot at the cops, gunfire, and chaos. He fired rounds into the fray helping Ryan and Ray as they reloaded.

“I got the money!” Michael yelled finally, taking the bag from the clerk and gunning him down. “Let’s go, let’s go! Let’s go! Gavin, across the street!” Gavin popped out of hiding spot and followed Michael across the crazed street, past Ryan and Ray who were still covering them

That was the signal. “Kerry let’s go!” Geoff shouted. “Ray and Ryan, get out of there!”

“We need to keep giving them cover til they’re gone,” Ray said, exchanging a glance with Ryan as they reloaded again. They were running low on ammo now. They both had several wounds that could be serious if they ever slowed down enough for the adrenaline to wear off.

Michael jumped up the chain-link fence in front of him as Gavin took a wrong turn. Confused and panicking, he saw a ladder in front of him and climbed it without thinking.

“Gavin don’t die!” Michael shouted, not realizing Gavin wasn’t behind him any longer.

“Michael, I’m scared,” Gavin whimpered, running along the roof as explosions echoed behind him.

Michael landed in the alley on the other side of the fence and looked around for Gavin, finally spotting him on the roof. Michael swore at his friend but decided not to comment further. He ran for his tank. “I’m in the tank, I’m in the tank!”

“Ow!” Ray shouted, stumbling as a bullet slammed into his shoulder, pain lighting up in in his entire side. “Aw man, we’re in trouble guys. Aw man, we’re in trouble. We’ve got SWAT coming in.” 

“Get out of there!” Geoff shouted to them, tossing one empty gun aside and fumbling for the next one, frantic to help his Crew.

“I made it!” Gavin said, sprinting into the alley and to his tank. “X-Ray, Ryan, get out of there!”

Ryan and Ray both exhaled in relief and started to run back for their bike, but before they went more than one step, more helicopters flew over them and several tank-like SWAT trucks raced into the street. Gunfire exploded around them ripping up chunks of asphalt and sidewalk that sliced the exposed skin, as did several bullet grazes

“Guys, move!” Geoff shouted desperately again.

Ryan and Ryan stumbled back into cover, still firing at the descending SWAT teams on the choppers, in truck, and on foot. Still, for every one they killed, three more suddenly appeared. Ryan did the math and the results were bad: they weren’t gonna make it to the bike. They were about to be cut off by more cops at their back. They were surrounded.

“Ray,” Ryan said frantically. “Ray we’re trapped.”

“I know,” Ray said through gritted teeth.

“We’re going down, just like he wanted us too,” Ryan snarled in disgust, dropping his now empty assault rifle and switching to his grenade launcher. “We should have bailed.”

“I know,” Ray said hopelessly. “God damn it.”

They looked at each other. Despite their incident last week, Ray and Ryan were easily the most productive of the duos in the Fake AH Crew and one of the most cooperative. One of the reasons the two of them got along was not only their matched skill level but the fact that they both were realistic straight shooters, no pun intended. Ryan knew they were done, knew this was it, so only one option made sense to him and to Ray.

Ryan lifted his grenade launcher. “Blaze of Glory?”

Ray grinned under his mask. “Blaze of Glory.”

Ryan and Ray ran out from cover, launching everything they had at the cops. Geoff kept screaming at them to run while Gavin begged them to stay under cover. Ray and Ryan didn’t listen. 

“Oh fuck! Go back!” Geoff yelled at Kerry. “We have to go back for Ray and Ryan!”

Michael stayed silent as the R & R Connection shredded through the cops like tissue paper, but it wasn’t enough. Despite his plans, it all was starting to seem wrong. In fact, guilt was consuming him. The cops had never gotten any of them before, not until Jack and even then he survived it. The only failures they had were because of each other. The only near death experiences they had all had were because of their own mistakes.

“Nothing can kill us except for each other.”

Michael didn’t realize he had spoken it aloud, but he had. And he was right. Ray and Ryan would probably be fine. Michael could change the plan, he could call of Geoff and call off—

Ryan’s gun clicked over to empty as three SWAT guys ran at him. He wasn’t going to be able to stop them, their guns were on him and Ray. For a moment he considered using Ray as a human shield, but the thought died immediately. He liked Ray. For all his talents and world weariness, Ray was little more than a kid. Ryan had been in this game much longer. Too long maybe, Maybe that’s why he had let this plan of Michael’s blind side him. Maybe he knew time was up.

Still, he had said “blaze of glory” to Ray. The blaze was running out but if he could help Ray complete their revenge plan, maybe the glory would still be there. Worth a shot.

Ryan dropped his gun, ripped off his tattered mask so he could see better and turned away from the cops. He sprinted over to Ray, who turned just in time to see Ryan coming at him. The larger man slammed into Ray, shoving him hard and Ray felt his feet leave the ground as he flew backward and crashed into the wall behind the parking kiosk and out of the line of fire. 

Ray’s vision went gray from the impact and he shook his head furiously as he tried to focus. He looked up at Ryan, who was stumbling forward after shoving Ray. For some reason, he looked up at Ray and grinned.

“Give ‘em hell,” Ryan said to Ray.  
Ryan turned back around and ran at the cops, yelling his head off like a mad man. He only made it two steps.

Ray watched in horror as bullets, six of them, gouged into to Ryan, his body jerking with each hit. One cut through the vest and a small spray of blood jetted from his shoulder. Ryan’s knees buckled and he fell, twisting around as one more shot caught him in the shoulder. He sprawled out on the asphalt on his back and did not move.

“Ryan!” Ray shouted, diving forward and grabbing for his partner. He seized Ryan’s ankles and pulled with all of his strength, dragging him behind the kiosk and under cover for a brief second. Ryan didn’t move, his chest was coated in a layer of blood over his shredded shirt and battered vest. Ryan just stared up at the sky, still grinning like the Mad King that he was.

“RYAN NOOOOOOOOO!” 

Ray felt something in him break, like a dam that had held all of his anger at this heist and this life. It didn’t matter that Ryan had tried to protect him for whatever reason and it didn’t matter that he knew his next move was stupid. Ray got to his feet, grabbed his grenade launcher, and threw himself back into the fight.

“YOU BASTARDS!” he screamed, launching grenade after grenade into the street, not aiming, not holding back, just turning the entire scene into a pit of fire and murder. “YOU BASTARDS!”

“Ray get down!” Geoff yelled desperately as Kerry flew them over Ray. “Get down, we’re getting you out! Ray—!”

“YOU BAST—AUGH!

Ray’s screams cut off abruptly.

“Ray!” Geoff shouted, not listening the common sense rattling around in his brain. There were cops everywhere on the ground, swarming where his Crew had been. He couldn’t see Ray or Ryan, there were too many. “Ray! Ryan!” _Answer me, answer me, I am so sorry I went along with Michael, ANSWER ME!_

Finally he gave up. Ryan was dead, Geoff knew that much to be true because that would be the only reason Ray would lose his head like that. They were outnumbered and Ray was off his head. The abrupt end of his ranting could only mean one thing. God, why hadn’t those fucking idiots run for it!

“Fuck!” Kerry muttered and bullets rattled against the helicopter’s windshield. “We gotta move Geoff!”

“Did we lose Ryan and Ray?” Michael asked, his voice full of what sounded like legitimate concern. Geoff ignored him.

“Get us out of here Kerry,” Geoff said gruffly, reloading his gun. He didn’t have to use it on cops anymore since they were converging on where Ray and Ryan had been while ignoring Geoff and Kerry. Instead, he made sure he had fresh rounds for the moment he saw Michael on that beach. Geoff couldn’t go back and undo his part in Michael’s plan, but he could sure as shit get some revenge for his fallen Crew.

Meanwhile, Michael was maneuvering his tank down the street, rolling over cops with Gavin close behind him. Choppers, both police and SWAT were all over them, but they were no match for the tank’s gun. The first time Michael launched a missile, the whole tank shuddered at the explosion of the police car outside. Despite his guilt over Ryan and Ray he couldn’t help but take some savage pleasure from the utter destruction he was wreaking. In fact, he remembered why he had made this plan: had they lived, Ryan and Ray would have back stabbed them. This had been the only way. How had he let guilt make him forget that?

A chopper crashed out of the sky from his shot and he couldn’t help but feel alive at the destruction. “Oh I am making so many widows right now,” he said cackling. _I’ll worry about guilt and sorrow after this is done. I have to stay the course._

Up in the chopper, Geoff swallowed his own guilt and despair and forced himself to act casual. To Michael’s knowledge, Geoff was still in league with him. Let him think that until Geoff could put a bullet in Michael’s brain.

Christ, what Jack gonna say when he found out what had happened, what Geoff had allowed to happen?

“All right life check! Gavin?” Geoff asked.

“AAHH AAAHHH AAAAAAHHHHHH!” Gavin yelled as his tank slammed into a strangely unyielding tree. “Stop mounting the tree!”

“GAVIN!”

“I am alive, 100%” Gavin answered, wrenching away from the tree. “Geoff stop talking abruptly!”

“Michael?” Geoff asked, ignoring whatever Gavin had said.

“Team Nice Dynamite, 100%,” Michael replied, blowing three coper cars out from under an overpass.

“Team OG 2 is fucking great,” Geoff added as Kerry flew them out over the water and out of range of the police, thank God.

“We lost the R&R connection,” Michael said. Silence met his words for a moment, a very tense silence.

“Not believing it,” Gavin said finally. “Not til we know for sure.”

The tension broke and Michael sighed in relief that Geoff hadn’t outted him to the others.

“Gav, you still behind me?” Michael asked, rolling over what was likely a civilian and wincing as they screamed. Oops.

“Yeah,” Gavin replied, firing again and disintegrating a chopper in mid-air. “I’m taking out choppers left and right.”

“All right we’re almost there dude.” 

“This is going…”Geoff stumbled over his words, “…fairly well. We got the money.”

“We got the money and lost Ray and Ryan,” Michael summarized. _Why do you keep bring up their deaths?_ he thought to himself. “We got the money and so far it’s ok. We can still finish this.”

“Aw,” Gavin said sadly as his tank squished a cop who had been running for his life. “Aw that guy died.”

“Yeah people are pissed at us Gav,” Michael replied.

Geoff coughed as a blast of smoke hit his face. Squinting in confusion he looked out at the chopper’s engines and saw smoke billowing out of one near him. It looked like it may have been hit in the fray. For the first time, Geoff’s ears picked up on the fact that several warning alarms were going off in the cockpit. “Kerry,” Geoff said carefully. “It looks like we are smoking a bit.”

“Uh you know…” Kerry said nervously, eyeing the temperature gauge. “It’s like…419 up in here. It’s not too bad yet.” Geoff buried his face in his hands and laughed loudly although nothing was actually funny. 

Michael shook his head as he heard Ray laugh in his head with Geoff. He always cracked up as things went wrong. But it wasn’t real. Ray was dead. “I think I just heard Ray from the grave,” he muttered to himself.

A bright flash of sunlight on metal caught Geoff’s eye suddenly.

“I see the getaway car, let’s land!” he said to Kerry, leaning into the cockpit and pointing at their destination. Kerry began their descent and Geoff braced himself as the ground approached at an alarming rate. The chopper didn’t land so much as it fell out of the sky and bounced on impact. Geoff was bounced between floor and ceiling of the chopper before falling out of the side.

“Text book landing,” he said dryly into the dirt. “Let’s get in the god damn car.”

“Gavin you still ok?” Michael asked as the tunnel came into view.

“I just smooshed a cop up a tree pole,” was the Brit’s response.

“Jesus Christ,” Michael muttered. “Just stay behind me dude.”

“Got it,” Gavin said, maneuvering his tank across a clear patch of highway. Through the visual displays in the tank, he saw a chopper approach from the left. He quickly slammed on the reverse pedal and one of the forward ones to swing his tank into position. ( _Oh that’s why there are six pedals even though there are only four directions!_ he thought to himself.) He hit the button on the missile launcher and blasted the chopper out of the sky before turning down the street to follow Michael. “Carnage!” he yelled triumphantly as the flaming bits of chopper rained down around him.

For their part, Geoff and Kerry were now in the car and racing down the mountain, performing incredible leaps and rolls courtesy of the Bifta’s design and durability. Kerry was howling in fright despite the fact that they were unharmed and his cries were interrupted by a loudly ringing phone that threw everyone for a loop.

“Not now Dom, God damn it!” Geoff said, chucking his phone out of the car.

Michael was in the tunnel now, carefully making his way down the narrow space. The cops had lost sight of him and police presence was dropping off. He was gonna make it!

“Sorry gents,” Gavin said as he approached the tunnel and fired at a fast approaching cop car. The car burst into flame and flew over the tank, spinning crazily before crashing into another car on the side of the road and exploding again. “Aw, it’s like a movie, every single thing I do!” He drove into the tunnel plowing over one final police car. “Is it the right one or the left one?”

Michael turned to look behind him at the display to answer Gavin and accidentally hit his tank controls. There was a loud explosion and the tunnel around him shuddered for a minute. 

“SHIT!” Michael yelped. “I almost blew myself up!” He scrambled out of the tank, shoving past bits of fallen concrete from the hole above his head. Still it looked like the tunnel would hold. 

“It’s the right one Gavin,” he finally replied. “I have abandoned my tank.” He jumped over the rail to the maintenance walkway beside the tunnel and began jogging to their destination. He was almost out when he heard a horrific grinding noise and felt the floor shudder.

“Michael, I’m bringing your tank. Choo choo!” Gavin crowed excitedly. Michael turned to see Gavin pulling up in the tank alongside him having shoved Michael’s tank along with him like a deranged railroad car. The top of the tank popped up and Gavin clambered out, grinning cheekily.

“Come on Gavin, let’s get to the bikes!”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“I can’t believe you didn’t lock up my bike,” Michael grumbled, jogging alongside Gavin as they pedaled for the bride and the boat parked below it.

“You didn’t have a lock!” Gavin replied indignantly. They had approached the bikes to find Gavin’s waiting and Michael’s stolen. Only Gavin would think no one in Los Santos would steal a bike.

They approached the bridge and Gavin put on a burst of speed. “I’m gonna bunny hop down here Michael!” he said.

“Gavin no!”

“AAAAAHHHHH!”” Gavin said as he cleared the rail and fell through the air. His bike tires hit the ground hard and Gavin bounced up and over his handlebars. With a loud squawk, he cleared the concrete and the drainage pipe in front of him and tumbled into the water next to the boat.

“God damn it,” Michael said shaking his head as he watched the whole thing. “Gavin just get the boat and be ready.”

“Jump down Michael,” Gavin said.

“I’m not gonna jump, I’ll die!” Michael shot back. Instead he ran along the bridge until he got to the long sloping walls bordering the dock. He jumped the railing and jogged down the slope while Gavin pulled the boat around.

In the meantime, Geoff and Kerry had arrived at the beach and were getting out of the Bifta. 

“Which boat is it?” Kerry asked looking at the plethora of boats and jet skis out in the water. “Oh this one!” he said pointing to a boat enclosed by a rocky cove, about 50 yards out from the shore. He started for the boat, but Geoff grabbed him.

“No,” Geoff said carefully, keeping his tone calm. “Let’s swim out to the one further out in the water and away from the rocks. Less conspicuous.”

Kerry looked at him in confusion but did not argue. Geoff and Kerry plunged headfirst into the cold waves, striking out for the boat in the distance. Geoff couldn’t say why, but he didn’t trust the boat in the carefully concealed rocky area. Michael had proven to be untrustworthy and there was no way he was going to take an obvious and well-hidden vehicle on the off chance Michael was doing to him what he did to Ray and Ryan. 

Geoff reached the boat well before Kerry and made sure his duffle of weapons was within reach and that his handgun was loaded and ready. He had an idea or twelve of what to give Michael when he arrived and turned over the money.

All of the ideas were bullets.

Kerry hoisted himself up into the boat and settled in, grinning at Geoff. He was proud of himself, he had actually been useful and almost good at pulling this job off. He hadn’t been yelled at once by Geoff, which was always nice. He did feel bad about Ray and Ryan though. Maybe if he had flown better, they could have rescued them in time.

“I guess we didn’t need those extra seats,” Kerry said a little sadly looking around at the emptiness of the boat.

Gavin heard him over the boat’s motor. “Yeah, Ray and Ryan went out almost completely silently.” Gavin had not heard Ray’s shouts as he was busy blowing things up in the tank. Michael on the other hand had heard them and would likely never stop hearing them.

“I think they went out in a blaze of glory,” Michael replied, hearing Ryan’s last words in his head. “I don’t think it was silent at all—CHRIST!”

“Michael get in!”

Michael picked himself up off of the ground where he had fallen as Gavin came careening into the wall with the boat. The tip of the boat was dented from the impact but it was still drivable and Gavin was grinning cheekily from the driver’s seat.

“I thought you were going to fucking beach the thing,” Michael grumbled, lower himself into the boat. Gavin took off, making the world’s widest turn in the narrow channel. Michael tried to grab for the side railing of the boat to steady himself, but he was wrenched back and forth from Gavin’s crazy driving.

“Don’t drive up the stairs,” Michael yelled as he was thrashed about. “Go left, go left. Not up the wall, my fucking god—AH!” Michael yelled as the boat hit a sandbar and a wall and turned completely vertical, dumping him out into the shallow water. “I fell out!” he shouted as Gavin tried to break. “Jesus Christ, why are you driving?”

“This thing has a really wide turn!” Gavin said defensively.

“So use the breaks to turn,” Geoff snapped, annoyed. THIS was the guy Michael and chosen to save. Maybe Geoff would torture Michael a bit first before killing him.

Gavin picked Michael back up and they drove through the waves as the sun finally disappeared beyond the horizon. Michael kept yelling obscenities as Gavin jumped waves and drove over sandbars but as night began to truly fall, the distant light of other boats came into view.

“We’re almost there,” Michael said as they drove into the small beach’s waters. He peered at the different boats coming into view. Was that them far out in the water already? They should be parked near the shore still. Or...

“I can see you guys on the horizon,” Geoff said, not liking how eerily calm Michael's voice was. Their boat came speeding in and Gavin executed a sharp turn past them. “You passed us,” Geoff said, gripping his gun tighter.

Michael swore in his head. They had grabbed the wrong boat. They had grabbed the wrong fucking boat!

Michael swore in his head. Geoff and Kerry were not in the boat he had specified for them. They were in another boat. That could be bad.

“There’s an audience of people here,” Gavin observed.

“Yeah,” Michael said distractedly, looking around. Where were the bombs? Where was Lindsay? 

“Should we all combine on this thing?” Gavin asked after more silence.

“Yeah,” Michael replied thinking fast. He reached for his phone and shot Lindsay a quick text, hoping she’d see it. “Yeah we might as well all take one boat. Gavin switch with me.”

Geoff didn’t like this but he couldn’t think of a safe argument. Gavin switched places with Michael and Geoff and Kerry jumped back into the water and swam over to their boat. Michael was fidgeting quite a lot while trying to look nonchalant which in turn made Geoff itch to just shoot him now. Something was off now, Geoff could feel it.

“All right let’s go—!”

Almost as if on cue, a loud explosion echoed across the ocean. Geoff turned to the blast of heat on his right and saw flaming bits of boat fly up in the air. With a jolt he realized it was the one Kerry had suggested they take. “Is someone trying to fucking kill us?” Geoff asked, glaring pointedly at Michael.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” Michael shouted, wrenching the steering wheel in a wide turn as the bottom of their boat ground against the shore.

“You’re the one who’s gonna beach it Michael!” Gavin yelped from the bow of the boat where he was trying to pose coolly. “And who blew us up?”

Michael let go of the steering wheel and jumped to his feet. Geoff raised his gun and made to shoot him, but Michael threw himself over the side of the boat. Gavin, squawking in panic, followed as Kerry also went for his gun, wildly confused. Geoff tried to shoot Michael, but he could barely see in the darkness.

“As expected, Ryan and Ray died horribly,” Michael’s voice said in his ear, echoing weirdly over the water and against the background noise of the ocean. Geoff shot in the direction he thought it was coming from to no avail. “But yeah, you guys were supposed to die too on that boat and somebody fucked it up.”

“I’m confused as to whether or not I should be alive or not,” Gavin said nervously.

Geoff swore and fumbled for the flashlight he kept in his duffle bag.

“Sorry Geoff,” Michael said calmly. “But it’s time for a change of pace.”

Geoff grabbed the flashlight, flicked it on, and searched for Michael. He turned around, toward the end of the boat and Michael’s face was suddenly illuminated, pale and glowing in the small circle of light.

Grinning.

The sniper round caught Geoff in the chest. His gun fell from his numbed hand and his entire body went stiff. Two more rounds went into him, catching him in the shoulder and the hip. He had just enough time to see Kerry get hit three times and fall heavily into the bottom of the boat.

“Fuck…” he said, exhaling heavily. The world spun in a great arc above him before everything went black. The last thing he felt was the icy cold ocean swallowing him whole.

Michael kept his eyes on the water long enough to make sure Geoff wasn’t about to surface. He kicked Kerry twice to ensure that he was dead too before shoving him out of the boat and watching his body sink out of sight.

Michael hadn’t told anyone that there was more to the plan. Not Gavin, not Kerry, obviously not Ryan or Ray and especially not Geoff. The fact of the matter was that Michael was done following Geoff and he was done risking his neck for a gang who couldn’t get the jobs done. Michael and Lindsay were married now and he had to think about his future so after Geoff left the heist room the day they planned the job, Michael turned to the one person he could trust.

Lindsay.

Lindsay sometimes worked jobs with the crew. She had a special talent for both planning and top-notch execution. She was a reserve Crew member by choice, preferring to work the legitimate side of Rooster Teeth and Achievement Hunter. Still she could be utterly ruthless and dangerous and Michael was depending on that when he called her into the heist room. She knew his plan already, but now was the time to put it into action.

_“All right,” he said, locking the door behind her and pulling the curtains over the windows. “Fuck Geoff. He’s gotta die. We aren’t safe if he lives. Without him we might have a chance with the Syndicate.”_

_“Right,” Lindsay agreed._

_“So when we get to the end of the heist,” Michael continued. “Gavin and I will be sitting in the boat, waiting. Whoever is left alive is gonna get on the boat that you prepared as they come out to meet us.”_

_Lindsay saluted with an evil grin._

_Michael matched her evil smirk. “Little do they know that there will be a sticky bomb on the side of the boat that’s facing away from the beach.”_

_Lindsay raised an eyebrow at him and shrugged. “One is a low number but yeah there will be sticky bombs.”_

_God Michael loved this woman._

_“Put the boat about 50 to 100 yards out in the water so they’ll have to swim out to it. They’ll get on the boat you’ll be on a rock nearby— “Michael walked over to the map and traced the edge of the cost where Geoff and Kerry had been told to go. “Located here.”_

_“Good vantage point,” she said appreciatively._

_“Exactly,” Michael said, smiling at her. “When they get on the boat, if they don’t see the bomb, you’ll let them get going and we’ll detonate.”_

_“And if they see it?” Lindsay asked ._

_“If they are on to us, you blow it,” Michael replied. “Even if someone survives, they’re out in the water it’ll be like fucking fish in a barrel. I’m just gonna unload into them.”_

_“Shoot straight,” she replied._

_“Oh I will, don’t you worry,” Michael said confidently. “After that, you me and Gavin split the money three ways—granted Gavin doesn’t know about it, we’ll see if he is surprised and we’ll see if he’ll survives that long, I doubt it—and we get fucking paid. That’s the real heist.”_

_“And that leads the Syndicate with the three people who were able to get the job done and a cut of the cash,” Lindsay finishes for him. Michael nods and Lindsay smiles at him for a moment._

_“Michael…while I like the plan, are you sure about this? I mean Geoff is a founding member of the Syndicate and there is always the chance that this will sign our death warrant with Matt and Burnie.” Lindsay shifts uncomfortably. “And when Jack gets out…”_

_“When Jack get out he can step in as leader,” Michael said, though he said it doubtfully. “And can the Syndicate really bitch if we come back successfully. They don’t have to know what really happened.”_

_Lindsay sighed too. “This has to work doesn’t it? If it fails we are dead either way aren’t we?”_

_“Yeah,” Michael replies. “Yeah we are. So better to take fate in our own hands don’t you think?”_

_Lindsay shakes her head. “I hope your right.”_

_“So do I.”_

Michael shook himself out of the memory. “Gavin, you’re fine come back,” Michael called out to the floating Brit, who was nervously treading water nearby.

“I don’t know if I can trust you anymore Michael,” he said fearfully, almost tearfully. “You killed Geoff.”

“Actually it was boat goer who marked the wrong fucking boat and blew it up!” Michael glared at the thought.

“Who?” Gavin asked, nonplussed.

“Lindsay, you wanna come out here?” Michael shouted.

“Already here,” she replied, swimming up to Gavin. “Hi Gavin.”

“I don’t trust you!” Gavin shouted. “You…you…”

“Gavin, I did it to save us,” Michael said heavily. “Geoff, Ray, Ryan—they were dragging us down. I mean shit we completed a successful job once Ray and Ryan were out of the way. Hell Geoff was in on that part, but he started getting a conscious. Geoff would have killed me for what I did to them so I had to kill him first. It was just business, Gav.”

“They were our friends!” Gavin shouted back.

“Yeah they were,” Michael agreed. “And now they’re gone. Would you just get in the boat? I did it for you as much as me and Lindsay.”

Gavin didn’t like his options. He couldn’t be sure Michael wouldn’t blow him away if he didn’t play along. But neither could he believe what Michael had done. Still, he had to get in the boat before he tired and drowned. Maybe once they got back he could talk to Burnie and Matt, explain things. Maybe he could fix it.

Gavin swam hesitantly back to the boat and hoisted himself up beside Lindsay without a word.

Michael rubbed his forehead tiredly. “Who else needs a fucking drink?”

It was done. They alone were left of the Fake AH Crew. Michael stood on the prow of the boat with cash in hand, his wife and best friend alive and well, and his pitiful Crew mostly dead. They had completed the heist.

So why didn’t he feel better about it?


	15. The Completely Impossible But Utterly True and Believable-ish Adventures of Geoff, Kerry, Ryan, and Ray

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is no possible way that Geoff, Kerry, Ryan, and Ray survived Michael's plan, right? RIGHT?

Gavin escorted a very drunk Michael and Lindsay home, completely floored by what had gone down. Could Geoff and the others really be dead? Had Michael really betrayed them all? Gavin appreciated the fact that he had his life, but unlike just about everyone else in the Fake AH Crew, he was a team player. He valued his gang mates. How could he value Michael now?

Michael was laughing at something Lindsay said as they stumbled out of the elevator towards their front door. His laugh sounded like nails on a chalkboard. Gavin fumbled with the keys, dropping them once as Michael knocked into him. He shoved his supposed friend off of him and unlocked the door.

It was rather lucky he had never taken his bulletproof vest off as four slugs caught him immediately in the chest. Gavin looked down at his vest for a split second before his brain registered the pain of impact. Once it did, he fell over backward in the doorway with a high pitched wail.

Silence fell for one tense moment before chaos erupted.

Michael and Lindsay leaped into the room in a sudden surge of sobriety and dove behind the couch as chunks of upholstery went flying into the air from the bullets that were raining down on them. Gavin lay twitching on the floor as Michael screamed at Lindsay to shoot back and Lindsay screamed at Geoff, telling him to fuck off while Ryan and Ray switched between war cries and telling Michael to go to hell and Kerry howled in some kind of pain/laughter hybrid while firing rapidly at the couch.

There was a series of clicks as all six guns came up empty and then a lot of swearing as the gang all scrambled for ammo. Gavin raised his head blearily just in time to see Michael and Lindsay jump to their feet and aim at the others. In true Fake AH Crew style, they had all reloaded at the same time. Now Michael and Lindsay stood facing a livid Geoff, Ryan, Ray, and Kerry.

“Should I mention now that Geoff was in on your set up?” Michael said through gritted teeth to Ray and Ryan. “That planted car had an ignition bomb.”

“You son of a bitch!” Geoff yelled, cocking the hammer back. “I didn’t actually plant the stupid bomb.”

That surprised Michael. “You fucking traitor!” Michael shouted at Geoff.

“He’s the traitor?” Ryan yelled. “You set up every one of us to die, you fuck!”

“Oh you mean like you do every job?” Michael retorted.

“Oh fuck you Michael,” Ray spat at him. “I didn’t even fucking do anything and you back stabbed me.”

“Yeah that’s the problem, you don’t EVER do anything!” Michael shouted. “Like the last fucking job!”

“You blew up the fucking chopper,” Geoff pointed out, ignoring the fact that it was actually the armored trucks weight that blew it up. “The plan was shit but you failed too, Michael!”

That set Ryan off and he turned to aim at Geoff. “The plan was not shit! The team was shit! Ray did nothing, Gavin can’t shoot, and Jack fucking crashed the helicopter.”

Ray turned on Ryan. “You almost killed Geoff!” he roared. “You tried to kill me! Don’t start pointing fingers, you dick!”

Everyone stood glaring and aiming at each other, not sure who to shoot first.

Gavin struggled to his feet and took advantage of the confusion. Without thought for his safety, he hobbled into the circle of guns.

“Ok,” he said wearily. “Out of everyone here, I am the only one allowed to be utterly pissed that I just got shot in the chest four times. Start there.”

That set everyone off yet again.

“You doubled crossed me!” Geoff shouted at Michael.

“You left us for dead!” Ray and Ryan both yelled to Geoff.

“Oh fuck you, you did the same last heist!” Geoff snapped back. “And I was gonna go back after I took care of Michael.”

“Fuck you, Geoff,” Michael shouted. “This is what I’m talking about! It was time to trim the fat before I got killed from everyone else’s stupidity.”

“Y’all never bring me in, fuck you!” Lindsay announced to the room in general.

“You made me an accomplice to a fucked up plan!” Gavin said, rounding on her and Michael.

“All of our plans are fucked up!” Geoff replied.

“Again I say, mine would have worked!” Ryan yelled at the same time Michael yelled “Mine worked!’

Michael narrowed his eyes at Ryan. “Yours was one of the worst of them! We all nearly died!”

“Oh you mean like me and Gavin in Gavin’s heist?” Ray said glaring between Michael and Gavin. “You know, the time you all left me and Gavin to rot in the sewer!”

“Why do I always get left behind?!” Gavin wailed.

“Yeah,” Michael said, jumping on to Gavin’s words. “Like last time: all of you bailed on the chopper team when we went down, fuck you all!”

“You and Gavin got away, what are you bitching about?” Kerry pointed out, trying to inject some sanity into the mess, solely so he wouldn’t get shot.

“BUT JACK GOT LEFT BEHIND!”

The last was shouted by everyone in the Crew except Lindsay and Kerry.

“Well I am touched you all care so much.”

Everyone shifted focus—and aim—to the doorway were a severely battered and bruised Jack stood looking quite incensed at the scene before him. 

“Does somebody want to tell me what the hell is going on?” he demanded with a scowl. “I saw your god damn ‘fireworks’ on the news earlier. What the hell were you thinking?” He stomped into the room shoving his way into the middle and pushing Gavin out of the way. “Now I come up here and instead of celebrating what appears to be the first successful job we’ve done, you are all at each other's throats? WHAT HAPPENED?”

Geoff sighed heavily. “It’s a long story.”

Jack stalked past the group who was still looking at him in surprise, forgetting to be angry for a moment thanks to his surprise reappearance. Jack yanked a chair from the kitchen and plunked it down by the telescope in front of the big picture window. He flopped down heavily, glaring at the room at large.

“I’ve got time.”

Jack heard the tale out, first told by Geoff, then by the rest of the gang. Michael and Lindsay remained silent, both a bit nervous and for good reason. Jack was not Geoff. Geoff was a hothead but he could get people to do things easily enough. He had an oddly charming and likeable personality that people gravitated towards and he used humor and gruffness to get his way. It wasn’t great but it worked. Jack was more methodical and more about everyday minutia and efficiency. Geoff was undoubtedly the leader, but Jack was second in command for a reason. In a lot of ways he bridged the Crew together. He was the muscle to Geoff’s brains, though he was plenty brainy himself.

He was also a lot scarier than Geoff when he wanted to be. Like now for example.

Jack eventually looked at Michael and Lindsay. “So you staged a coup for power within a heist?”

“It wasn’t a coup exactly,” Michael replied honestly. “It was about survival. This gang is dead in the water. I thought if I could downsize us, get rid of the two psychos and get someone less hasty behind things, we might have a shot at survival.”

“You thought that you, Gavin, Lindsay, and I would be the best team to escape the Syndicate’s revenge?” Jack asked incredulously. He paused for a minute then laughed. “Oh wait. I was meant to go down too. Kerry having to be brought in was a hiccup. Cute.” 

“You weren’t part of the plan,” Michael said after a moment, hoping maybe the lie would save him. That hadn’t been true. Michael had his plan down before he knew Kerry would be stepping in. Jack was supposed to go down solely because he would never let Michael get away with his plan.

“I wouldn’t recommend lying right now,” Jack said. “You attempted to take us all out but Gavin to make what you thought was a strong but small enough force to escape the Syndicate. You were going to fight your way out with just Lindsay and Gavin.” Jack shook his head. “I guess you forgot that Ryan is absolutely lethal with superior weapons and fighting skills and that Ray is the best shot we have? Yeah good luck escaping without them. Oh and you also seemed to forget that there would be no way in hell you’d ever pull this shit over on me.”

Michael squirmed again.

“You also clearly didn’t consider that Geoff is one of the founding members of the Syndicate and that Matt and Burnie would be exceptionally displeased at his demise. Not to mention the fact that Gus would come out of ‘retirement’ from the criminal half of Rooster Teeth since Geoff is one of his best friends.” Everyone squirmed at that. In terms of crazy and murderous, Gus Sorola made Ryan look like the damn Easter Bunny.

Michael shifted uncomfortably. “No. I, uh…I guess I didn’t think of that. I didn’t really think of any of that.”

Jack’s eyes flashed at that and he shot out of his chair, sending it flying backward. Before Michael could move, Jack grabbed him by his shirtfront and ripped him from his chair, swinging him around and slamming him so hard into the wall behind him that Michael literally saw stars as his vision went dark. Jack went for the gun he had retrieved from his car before finding the rest of the Crew and pressed it to Michael's forehead. He cocked the hammer back and waited.

No one behind him moved, not even Lindsay, who looked so pale that Geoff was sure was about to pass out. Her gun dangled uselessly from her hand as she was too frightened to draw it, scared she would set Jack off, or that he would accidentally squeeze the trigger if she shot him. Michael groaned and met Jack’s very angry eyes.

“You betrayed the crew, tried to kill your leader, painted the world’s biggest target on our backs, and nearly destroyed everything we have been working toward,” Jack growled. “So don’t you tell me that you didn’t fucking think. You better have thought. You better have thought a great deal and right now you better think of a reason why we shouldn’t kill you and Lindsay.”

Michael's eyes widened. “No. Not Lindsay. Please Jack. She only did what she did because of me. Do whatever the hell you like to me but just...don’t hurt her.”

“Not a good reason,” Jack replied.

Michael swallowed and thought frantically but he was drawing blanks. He couldn’t think of a reason. He couldn’t come up with a thought. He was going to die after all, but of his own stupidity, not anyone else’s.

“Jack, let him go,” Geoff said finally.

Jack looked back at Geoff confused. Geoff’s face was calm and his tone casual, but firm. “Look, we all did a lot of stuff this heist out of anger. I was mad that Ray and Ryan left me behind last job, among other things, and I was mad that you were locked up because Gavin and Michael were focused on saving their own necks. If I’m honest I am also mad that you got locked up because of both me and Ryan’s lack of forethought.”

Jack said nothing, he still looked ready for murder.

“Michael is sick of giving his all in every job only to have them all fail,” Geoff continued. “And he is sick of me not being the best leader. I’m sure Ray is sick of getting the crap jobs and Ryan has said more than once that it bothers him how little we trust him.” Geoff sighed. “Gavin was just along for the ride and Kerry had no clue about any of it. Lindsay just went with her husband, you can’t fault her for that.”

“He turned on us,” Jack said after a moment. “What’s to stop him from doing it again?”

“Jack’s got a point,” Ryan adds. “I know y’all think I am a traitor, but I mostly just goof around or take opportunities as they come at me. This was calculated. He moved against all of us, Geoff. You included.”

Geoff met Ryan’s gaze. “Yeah and I let him. I knew about the plan, Ryan. I even had my suspicions about his plan for me. Yeah I backed out of my part in it, but I didn’t stop it. That's on me.” Geoff looked around at his Crew. “I’m your leader. I should have stopped things a long time ago, I should have worked out our issues years ago, not waited until we were so deep in our own bull shit that I don’t know if we’ll ever get out.” He rubbed his mustache, frowning as he thought things through. “We’re on our last legs and the pressure is getting to all of us. Matt and Burnie aren’t any more agreeable than they were a few months ago and I don’t know that we will ever make things right.” Geoff looked back at Jack. “We made this mess, Jack. I made this mess. I want to fucking murder Michael for doing what he did, but I don’t know that we didn’t create this situation, this monster of a mess. But I do know that to get out of it we need all of us, even Michael. We need everybody or we are dead in the water.”

Ray shifted uncomfortably as Geoff finished his surprisingly insightful speech. “You’re not wrong,” he said. “I always get stuck on the roof with a sniper rifle or posted on lookout while everyone else does the heavy lifting. You always say I’m the best shot but I never get to prove it. It ticks me off that people like Gavin get to be front and center while my ass is doing nothing. That’s not what I signed up for.”

“I came on board to do what I do best: steal, destroy, and cause mayhem,” Ryan added bitterly. “But all the jobs end with me getting shit for what ya’ll hired me to do in the first place. It’s a load of crap. Why does Gavin get special treatment when he is a damn idiot but I get called crazy and pushed around?”

Geoff met Ray and Ray’s eyes. “Because Gavin is the only one of us who cares about the team. We’ve all been selfish. He hasn’t been.”

Everyone looked at Gavin who stared back at them confused. “What are you on about?”

“He’s my best friend,” Michael added, looking annoyed with himself at that admission and scared as if Jack might blow him away for speaking. When he wasn’t shot dead he continued. “That’s the only reason he wasn’t planned to die. And if it helps…I didn’t want to do this. I thought I had no choice. Geoff has a lot of it right.”

“Look I fucked things up ok?” Geoff replied as Gavin, Lindsay, Michael, and Kerry all started to make their opinions known. “We all fucked up. We have to fix it, guys. I said it before that first job and I’ll say it again: Six brains have to better than one or two right?” Geoff turned back to Jack. “I’m not saying let this go, but don’t kill him, Jack. We need him and you know it.”

Jack growled and dropped Michael. Geoff brushed past his second and held out a hand to Michael, disgust on his face. Michael took what was offered and was unsurprised when Geoff yanked him to his feet and pulled him in close, his eyes livid and his voice deadly.

“You get one chance,” Geoff said quietly. “You pull another stunt, you look at anyone wrong, you and Lindsay are dead. Maybe Gavin too, depending on how stupid he is that day. Do you got me?”

Michael swallowed hard and nodded furiously, as did Lindsay.

“Why does everyone think I’m a bloody idiot?” Gavin asked finally, unable to take the offense anymore.

“Because you are,” replied the Crew.

Geoff let go of Michael and rubbed his forehead wearily. “So Jack...was your time in lock-up useful?”

Jack rolled his eyes. “I had plenty of time to think,” he said bitterly. “And I think I have a plan that will satisfy everyone.”

Geoff grinned at him. “Knew I could count on you buddy.” He looked at the rest of the Crew. “Let’s rest up. We’ll rendezvous in the heist room in a week. Kerry and Lindsay, you’re back on desk duty. Keep your ears to the ground, we made lots of noise this time. Good?”

Everyone nodded.

“All right,” Geoff said. “Jack, welcome back. Let’s do this.”

“Wait a sec,” Michael said as everyone moved to disperse. “I just wanna know one thing,” he said looking around at Ray, Ryan, Geoff, and Kerry. “How the fuck did you all survive? I mean the cops gunned you down!” he said to Ryan and Ray. “And Lindsay fucking SNIPED you two,” he added to Kerry and Geoff.

“No I didn’t.”

Everyone turned to look at Lindsay who looked confused. “I thought you shot them,” she said to Michael. “That was supposed to be your job, remember?”

Geoff, Ray, Ryan and Kerry all looked at each other as Michael turned slowly back to them.

“It’s another long story,” Geoff said finally, flopping down on the couch.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
The long story…

“RYAN NOOOOOOOOO!” 

Ray felt something in him break, like a dam that had held all of his anger at this heist and this life. It didn’t matter that Ryan had tried to protect him for whatever reason and it didn’t matter that he knew his next move was stupid. Ray got to his feet, grabbed his grenade launcher, and threw himself back into the fight.

“YOU BASTARDS!” he screamed, launching grenade after grenade into the street, not aiming, not holding back, just turning the entire scene into a pit of fire and murder. “YOU BASTARDS!”

“Ray get down!” Geoff yelled desperately as Kerry flew them over Ray. “Get down, we’re getting you out! Ray—!”

“YOU BAST—AUGH!”

Ray’s screams cut off abruptly as he was yanked off of his feet. He could feel himself being dragged across the parking lot, vehicles and cops blowing up and shouting behind him. He looked up, aiming his grenade launcher at his assailant, ready to go out in a literal blaze of glory, when he saw who was dragging him. 

“Any time you wanna get on your feet and run that would be great!” Ryan shouted over the din. His head set was gone, the side of his head, his shoulder, and his legs were bleeding quite significantly and he was half running, half limping to the fence at the end of the parking lot.

Ray opened his mouth to speak, but Ryan shook his head and shook Ray too. “No time. Shoot this fence for me and run!”

Ray finally got with the program and did as he was bid. They ducked as bits of chain-link went flying, cutting both of them up even more, but they dragged themselves through the ragged remains of the fence and into the alley.

“Run ahead,” Ryan instructed Ray. “Steal a car and keep completely silent, whatever you do.”

Ray again did as he was bid, asking himself a thousand questions internally. How was Ryan alive? Why wasn’t he, Ray, allowed to speak, why were the cops suddenly chasing distant explos—?

Oh right, tanks. Guess the cops now have bigger fish to fry.

At the end of the tank alley, there was a pick-up truck parked half way on the sidewalk. It looked like it had been smashed into from the side by something large and tank-like. Still, the keys were in the ignition and I started after a few tries. Ray hurriedly reversed the truck down the alley, narrowly avoiding running Ryan over.

“Watch it!” Ryan snapped, hauling himself into the open passenger door. “Damn, I didn’t survive getting shot all those times only to get run the fuck over by you!” Ryan slammed the door closed and Ray took off, dodging crashed cars and very annoyed policemen. The tanks had cut a huge swath of damage through Los Santos and Ray decided to follow it.

“Ok,” Ryan said, grabbing Ray’s duffle, which Ray had thankfully left strapped to his chest until he had gotten in the truck. “Turn your headset off a minute, but not for long.”

Ray hit the switch on the side and immediately ripped into Ryan. “WHAT THE FUCK RYAN?” he roared. “I thought you were dead! How are you NOT dead? What was that self-sacrificing bull shit?! What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

“Well, I figured you had more shit to live for than me,” Ryan said, pulling his shirt up and prying four of the six bullets that had hit him out of his vest. The other had exited through the meat of his shoulder, causing a deep wound but missing the bone. The muscle wasn’t working entirely correctly but at least it wasn’t his dominant hand.

“You have a wife and two fucking kids!” Ray shouted.

“Yeah well,” Ryan, said, grabbing a roll of bandage Ray had in his bag and starting to wrap his shoulder. “You’re just a kid yourself really. It felt like the right thing to do. Sue me. Also I am not dead because cops can’t shoot for shit.”

“You can bleed to death,” Ray grumbled, turning sharply and swerving to avoid some bits of helicopter.”

“Hence bandages,” Ryan said grimly, turning to his leg after finishing his shoulder. “Now here is the plan—“

“Take you to a hospital!”

Ryan rolled his eye. “Don’t be an idiot. We have to get the others back for what they did.”

Ray opened his mouth to argue, but his own small wounds and the version of hell he had just gone through stopped him. “Go on.”

Ryan straightened, wincing at the tug in his shoulder. It would be painful, and yes he probably should go to a hospital, but he’d be damned if he was going to let those bastards get away. “So they are headed to the beach, right?” Ryan said. “And they think we’re dead. Here’s what we do: we head for the beach too. Wait for Geoff and Kerry to meet up with Michael and Gavin and we snipe the whole Crew from the shore.”

“Even Gavin?” Ray asked doubtfully.

“If we don’t, the Syndicate will,” Ryan said.

“Yeah just like they will murder the shit out of us when Geoff winds up dead,” Ray pointed out. “And that’s not counting what Jack will probably do when he gets out.”

“Yeah but this time we go out with revenge well in hand,” Ryan replied, grinning evilly. “What do you say? One more Blaze of Glory?”

Ray thought about Michael’s plan, how it was designed from the get go to kill him and Ryan. He also thought about that burner vehicle Geoff had planted so conspicuously. Ryan insisted it was wired to explode and given the fact the Michael had called Geoff back after the initial planning stage, it seemed likely. Had Geoff really betrayed them too?

And if all of that was true and if Ryan and Ray had truly believed it, then why hadn’t they run? What gut instinct held them back.

Ray sighed heavily. “Yeah. One last blaze.”

“Just blaze!” Ryan said mockingly with a grin.

“Fuck you!” Ray snapped.

“Turn your headset on, but angle the mic up and away from your mouth,” Ryan instructed. We need to hear how far into the plan they are. Speak quietly too.”

Ray flipped his mic back on and cranked the volume so Ryan could hear very faint snatches of conversation.

“Kerry,” they heard Geoff say over whoops and yells from Michael and Gavin. “It looks like we’re smoking a bit.”

“Uh you know,” Kerry replied nervously “It’s like…419 up in here.”

Ray burst out laughing with Geoff. Ryan punched him in the shoulder, trying to quiet him.

“I think I just heard Ray from the grave,” Michael muttered sadly. 

Ray looked guiltily over at Ryan who slapped him in the back of the head.

Ray and Ryan headed directly for the beach when they heard Michel and Gavin enter the tunnel in their tanks. There was a tense moment when they were zooming down the highway and saw Geoff and Kerry bouncing down the mountain in the Bifta, but Ray put on a huge burst of speed and blew past them just before they tumbled into the road. They arrived with five minutes to spare before Geoff and Kerry came running in and Ryan and Ray concealed themselves in some nearby rocks. 

(Later they would lament not choosing the rocks where Lindsay was hiding)

Ray was on his belly, the rough rocks of the cove sticking into his sore and battered body. Ryan was starting to bleed through his bandages in places and Ray knew they had to hurry before Ryan bled to death. He wasn’t going to let Ryan die a second time, fuck you very much.

“You got ‘em in your sights?” Ryan asked, his vice ragged from how much pain he was in. Ray nodded, grateful for the night vision scope he had as darkness was quickly falling. “Ok. Wait til the others come in and then pick them off. Can you do it?”

Ray nodded again, listening to Geoff as he told Kerry to swim out to the boat in the waves. Ray kept his scope on him, wondering what made Geoff take the one farther out. Curious, he looked over at the boat Kerry had originally pointed at.

It looked perfectly normal. It was a few seconds before Ray saw a pulsing red glow coming from under the boat.

“Shit!” he muttered quietly. “Ryan! There are sticky bombs on that boat!”

Ryan squinted into the distance like he would be able to see it from here. “So?”

“So that’s the boat Michael mentioned in planning,” Ray said quickly. “The one Geoff and Kerry were supposed to take. It was rigged to blow, just like the car. Michael was going to kill Geoff and Kerry too!”

Ryan raised an eyebrow. “Again…so?”

“So Geoff probably wasn’t in on it!” Ray said with a scowl. “We don’t have to kill him.”

“You are forgetting the obviously rigged car.” Ryan said dryly.

“We don’t know that for sure,” Ray mumbled mutinously.

Ryan gave him an odd look, part sympathy, part questioning. “If you can’t take the shot—.”

“I can take the shot,” Ray said, jerking his sniper rifle away as Ryan reached for it. _I just don’t know if I should…_

“Ray,” Ryan said gently, almost pityingly. “I know they were supposed to be our Crew, our friends even, but they—.”

“Shhhh!” Ray said suddenly, holding up a hand and cutting Ryan off. Geoff was talking to Kerry suddenly and he sounded serious.

“Kerry, listen,” Geoff said, talking quickly and quietly so Ray had to really strain to hear him. “Don’t respond, just listen—I have a feeling Michael is going to double cross us. He planned Ray and Ryan’s death from the get go and he’ll probably try to murder us when he gets here since I knew about it. If that happens, you need to get in the water and try to get away before he actually kills you. If he shoots you and does not hit, act like he did. Crumple like you’re dead, try to fall in the water, but if you can’t, play dead no matter what they do to you. If you get in the water, swim as far and as fast as you can. You got me? No don’t speak, just nod. Jesus Christ!” There was a pause. “Good. It’s worked for everyone else the last few jobs, maybe we can try our own vanishing act.”

Geoff’s voice resumed normal volume. “I see you guys on the horizon.”

“Here they come,” Ryan muttered as another speed boat came zooming into view. It came in close to Geoff and Kerry’s boat before speeding off and pulling back around. This was it, the moment Ryan was looking for. But he hadn’t heard Geoff. Geoff knew about Michael’s plan for Ryan and Ray, but it didn’t sound like he hadn’t necessarily gone along with it. Between that and the sticky bombs and the fact the Geoff had his gun close by, Ray had a feeling that Geoff wasn’t as guilty as Ryan thought and was bent on some Michael murdering himself.

Was Ray really going to shoot them?

“What are you waiting for?” Ryan snapped in his ear as Geoff and Kerry moved into Michael and Gavin’s boat. “Dude, they are all there. Take the shot, Ray!”

Ray wiped his sweaty hands on his shirt, gazing back through the scope. He saw Geoff’s grim face, Kerry’s nervous fidgeting, Gavin’s clueless Grin and Michael’s haggard face. 

“Ray!”

Ray still hesitated as the boat started to move. Ryan jumped to take the gun but before he could, a huge explosion went off to their left as the bombed boat blew itself out of the water. Bits of burning hot metal flew in the air and rained down on Ryan and Ray as the rest of the Fake AH Crew yelped and yelled questions. Ray scrambled for the scope just as Michael stopped the boat.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” Michael shouted.

“What the fuck are you waiting for?!” Ryan growled at Ray.

“You’re the one who’s gonna beach it Michael!” Gavin yelped as the boat move pperiosuly close to shore.

“Ray!”

Ray saw Michael jump up and leap into the water, just as Geoff made to shoot him. Gavin, likely panicking, followed Michael into the waves and swam away from the boat. 

Geoff tried to shoot Michael, but he likely couldn’t see him in the dark. Ray could see Michael either which meant he was probably hidden by the boat.

“As expected, Ryan and Ray died horribly,” Michael’s voice said in his ear, which pissed Ray off. “But yeah, you guys were supposed to die too on that boat and somebody fucked it up.”

“What are you waiting for?” Ryan shouted, reaching for the gun, but Ray jerked away again. What _was_ he waiting for?

“I’m confused as to whether or not I should be alive or not,” Gavin’s voice said nervously. Poor innocent Gavin.

Ray swore internally as Michael suddenly came into view, hauling himself up in the boat right behind Geoff, who could not see him. Ray put his finger on the trigger as Ryan half growled and half shouted in his ear for him to shoot.

“Sorry Geoff,” Michael said calmly. “But it’s time for a change of pace.”

“SHOOT!” Ryan half whispered, half shouted, fresh blood from his head wound running down his face.

Suddenly a flashlight clicked on in Geoff’s hand and he spun around illuminating Michael’s face to both Geoff himself and Ray. Michael was grinning evilly.

And Ray knew why he was hesitating. He knew what he had to do.

Ray’s shot caught Geoff in the chest. Geoff jerked as Ray fired two more, deliberately aiming at places Ray knew were covered by armor. One went a bit wide and hit Geoff in the hip and Ray prayed it wasn’t too damaging. Geoff tumbled back into the water and Ray quickly shot Kerry three times. He watched as Kerry tried a weird sort of falling dive for the water and missed, cracking his skull againt the side. Michael kicked Kerry a few times before shoving him out of the boat.

Ray pulled the scope away from his eye grinning. He started packing up his bag.

“What the fuck happened?” Ryan asked as Michael and Gavin argued in Ray’s ear.

“We have to get to the beach as soon as Michael and Gavin—.” Ray broke off listening to the chatter and scowled as a surprise guest popped up. “—and Lindsay, apparently, get clear. We have to get Kerry and Geoff out of the water!”

What the fuck?” Ryan yelled. “They’re all still alive? Why didn’t you shoot them?!”

Ray slung his bag on his back. “I’ll explain later—.”

Ryan’s punch caught Ray on the side of the head and made him see stars. He stumbled backward and fell onto the rocks as Ryan towered over him, clearly intent on beating the shit out of Ray. “Fuck you!” he snarled. “I didn’t almost get killed for you to pussy out on me!”

Ray held up his hands as Ryan went to kick him. “Ryan, just wait!” he yelled. “Come on dude, I kamikaze for you. LISTEN!”

Ryan paused looking down at the younger man who he had actually tried to save for whatever stupid weak moment of conscious he had had earlier. Ray had double crossed him before…but maybe not without reason. Ryan could feel his crazed rage building but he should at least listen to Ray had to say for himself before Ryan murdered him and stole his weapons.

“Geoff didn’t plant the bomb,” Ray said quickly. He wasn’t entirely sure, but his gut told him he was right. “He didn’t blow us up. Michael had planned everyone’s death from the beginning. He conspired with Lindsay and Gavin knew nothing. Geoff told Kerry to play dead if Michael attacked so I shot them to fool Michael. Now they are out there, possibly injured and maybe drowning and we have to get to them!”

Ryan didn’t look convinced. 

“Don’t they deserve revenge too?” Ray asked. “Look just...trust me ok? Let’s just get the truth and then we can kill them if we need to, but let’s get them first ok?”

Ryan studied him for a moment. Did he trust Ray? Maybe. It was worth a shot. Besides he could wait until they were all suitably distracted and steal Ray’s gun before blowing them all away.

Acceptable.

“You better be right,” Ryan grumbled.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Geoff’s hip was a solid ache as he sank beneath the waves, but he didn’t have time to think about it. The screaming pain had to wait. He kicked off against the ocean floor and shot through the water, swimming as fast and as far from the boat as he could. He had to get far enough away where Michael wouldn’t see him. He swam until his leg was on fire and his lungs were bursting and then surfaced, a good twenty yards from the boat. His headset was still working and he surfaced just in time to hear Michael convince Gavin to get in the boat with him and…Lindsay? 

The fuck? Well that figures, Michael would need someone to pick them off from afar. He wouldn’t want his traitorous hands to get too dirty.

Anyway, Michael, Gavin and Lindsay took off in the boat. Geoff waited until the noise of the motor faded before he yelled out Kerry’s name.

There was no answer.

“Shit!” Geoff said. Had his failure to act gotten Kerry killed? He saw Kerry get shot. Had he made it or was this their third casualty?

Geoff swam for shore frantically, squinting around in the dark for some sign of Kerry. He was panicking now. He had let Ryan and Ray die, he couldn’t fail Kerry too. “Kerry! KERRY!”

Geoff swam into something solid. He felt around and felt clothes, hair, and a significant lack of movement. Kerry!

“Kerry, are you ok?”

No answer.

“FUCK!” Geoff grabbed Kerry by the limp arm floating in the water and made sure he was floating face up. He didn’t appear to be breathing. Geoff swore again and swam for shore, towing Kerry with him. “Shit, you better not be dead, Kerry! You better not!”

Geoff stumbled as his feet finally met sand again and he stumbled up onto the shore, dragging Kerry’s surprisingly heavy body through the sand. He could see him now in the light from several campfires of nearby beachgoers. No one noticed them. Geoff dropped Kerry and checked for breathing and heartbeat. His heartbeat was faint but there but he was not breathing at all.

“Oh God damn it, breath you fucking moron!” Geoff started pumping on Kerry’s chest, performing CPR. Kerry needed to breathe. He just needed to breathe. It made him squirm, but Geoff started mouth to mouth on the boy, willing air into his lungs. “Breathe, God damn you!”

He was so caught up in saving Kerry that he never saw Ryan coming until he was spear-tackled by the Mad King and thrown into the shallows.

“NO!” someone yelled. “Ryan stop!”

Geoff coughed and squinted up through darkness and crashing water at Ryan’s livid, blood streaked face. “Ry—?” he started to say in relief.

Ryan punched him in the nose. Then he punched him in the jaw. Then the eye, then in a few more places until Geoff was unable to see properly and possibly drowning a bit in the waves.

“Ryan back off!” Ray ran into Geoff’s line of view—RAY!—and pulled Ryan back. “You’ll kill him!”

“Like he was gonna do to us!” Ryan yelled as Ray pulled him back. “You fucking bastard. You god damn cocksucker!” He strained to get at Geoff but either he was weak from the few wounds Geoff could make out on him or Ray was having a surprising moment of strength. Probably the latter.

Geoff groaned and hauled himself up onto all fours, spitting blood out of his mouth and ignoring the pain from his hip and…entire face. “Kerry…drowning…” Geoff gasped at Ray.

Suddenly he registered the sound of coughing and vomiting.

“Yeah he’s fine,” Ray said, still grappling with Ryan. “He started coughing up the shit in his lungs as soon as Ryan tackled you.”

Geoff sagged in relief for a moment before crawling up to the sand and rolling tiredly onto his back.

“Are you gonna chill the fuck out and ask him now?” Ray demanded, most likely speaking to Ryan. “Or am I going to dunk you underwater?”

Ryan stopped struggling and after a moment he stepped back into Geoff’s line of sight. “The car bomb?” he asked shrewdly.

“Threw it into the water off the PCH,” Geoff replied tiredly.

“You let us go into a trap,” Ryan said. It was not a question.

“I was angry about Jack and…everything,” Geoff said. He was so tired. He didn’t care about anything more than laying here and never moving again. “I woke up from my anger haze when it came time to plant the bomb. Kerry and I tried to go back for you guys in the chopper but…”

“Too many cops,” Kerry said so hoarsely that his voice was barely recognizable. “Didn’t make it in time.”

Ryan grunted in acknowledgement of their words. “And did Kerry or Gavin know? And did you know about Lindsay?”

“I didn’t know,” Kerry said.

“No he didn’t,” Geoff greed. “Neither did Gavin. I had no clue about Lindsay.” Geoff looked directly at Ryan. “I’m sorry, Ryan. You too Ray. I am god damn sorry.”

Ryan looked down at him for a moment, looking like he still wanted to murder the fuck out of Geoff. After a moment he sighed heavily and winced as he rubbed his wounded head.

“Don’t be fucking sorry,” Ryan said finally. Get the fuck up and help us.”

Geoff looked at Ryan questioningly.

“Well first we are gonna get some more first aid,” Ryan said, swaying slightly, looking pained. “Then we are going to go fuck Michael’s shit up. You in?”

_Sorry Geoff. It’s time for a change._

“I’m so in,” Geoff replied.

(The end of the long story)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jack, Michael, Lindsay, and Gavin were all staring at them in shock as they finished their tale.

“You’re fucking me!” Jack finally exclaimed. “That’s how you survived! That’s impossible!”

“It does seem unlikely,” Michael added while Lindsay nodded.

“Completely mental,” Gavin agreed.

Geoff exchanged looks with Ryan, Ray, and Kerry before shrugging at the others. “Well, that’s how it happened.”

“No one is going to believe that!” Jack said. “It’s physically impossible. I can point out like twenty things that are wrong with that explanation!”

“It’s what happened,” Kerry said, also shrugging. “Believability doesn’t matter.”

Ryan grinned tiredly. “And you’d be surprised at what people believe.”

“Yeah,” Ray said. “Especially if it makes a good story!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So about 90% of their tale of survival is utterly impossible, but this story wouldn't be any fun if it took itself seriously, right?


	16. Fly Like and Eagle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jazz hands and airplanes! It's a winning combination.

Someone needed to remind Jack why he was so anxious to get out of prison and return to these idiots.

It had been a few weeks since Michael’s heist—he refused to call it a coup because if he did, he wasn’t sure he could stop himself from murdering Michael—and the Crew was gathered in the heist room once again. Things had been a little tense since Michael’s job, but they had to pretend all was normal for the Achievement Hunter side of their outfit. Videos had to run smoothly and in a way faking like things were ok was somehow slowly making things ok...ish. Part of it was also that Matt and Burnie could never suspect what had happened. They had been pleased with the success of Michael’s heist, although they were disappointed in the small take. The Crew had a small reprieve from Matt and Burnie breathing down their necks, but it wouldn’t last. They needed to follow up with a success somehow.

Jack could make that happen, he hoped. As soon as the idiots sat down and stopped doing those damn hand signals. Ray had started it when everyone had been completely silent in the heist room, eyeing Michael warily as well as each other. Ray finally said fuck it and jumped up to do jazz hands. Geoff followed suit with finger fucking and Ryan threw in a thumbs up. Gavin and Michael watched warily from the couch, but it did the trick. Everyone laughed when it started and it broke up some of the uncertainty.

But then it just kept going…

“Ok,” Jack said. “Heist. Welcome back lads and gents.”

“Welcome back from what?” Gavin asked.

“The last heist!” said Jack and everyone else.” Good ole Gavin, so dumb, so...dumb.

“I missed the last one,” Jack said, even though they knew that already. “Michael had a…successful one,” Jack said, pausing awkwardly.

Ryan switched to the “no brakes” gesture and Jack’s mouth twitched as he fought a grin. You couldn’t say they weren’t all good at handling tension.

“Anyway I have to follow up,” Jack said, “so I am thinking we go big!” Ray started singing something about thinking big, which Jack vaguely recognized from some 90’s cartoon, and Gavin, tired of just watching, jumped up and started saluting. Michael, nervous but wanting to try, got up and started fake jerking off.

And just like that, they were the loveable losers known as the Fake AH Crew.

“We haven’t gone big yet,” Jack continued. “I want to hit five targets simultaneously.” The gang made a lot of questioning noises and Ray asked if Jack meant people or places. Jack decided not to dignify that question with an answer.

“So five targets,” Jack said. “We’re gonna go over code names first and get that out of the way and I’ll explain. I’m gonna be Overlord, I’ll be overseeing and watching everything.”

“Are you hitting a target?” Geoff asked.

“We’ll get to that in a minute,” Jack said. “Code names, we’ve got Eagle one,” he pointed at Geoff, “Eagle two,” he pointed at Ryan. “Eagle Three.” Ray. “Eagle Four.” Michael.

He pointed at Gavin and paused for effect. “And Gavin!”

“Yay!” Gavin yelled as everyone laughed. Gavin knew he would never remember his code name anyway and Jack said as much.

“Starting off, we need everyone in black outfits,” Jack said. “Solid black outfits, black clothes, and black motorcycle helmets with masks coming down covering your face.”

“Sweet, masks!” Ray said excitedly as Ryan cried “Yay, shopping, I’m on it!” and Gavin shouted “Ninjas!”

“We have five targets,” Jack went on, indicating the map. “We have five stores. Eagle One, sir, you will be robbing this store on Prosperity and Del Perro, right here,” he tapped a red circle on the map. “Eagle Two,” he said to Ryan. “San Andreas Avenue right here. Eagle Three, you’re going to Lindsay’s Circus right here. Eagle Four you’re going to Innocence Boulevard and Gavin you’re going to Davis Avenue, right here.”

Everyone studied the map for a moment before nodded. Not one of them knew where they were going and Jack knew he’d have to remind them later. That was just how they worked.

“After we get our outfits, everyone needs to get a big vehicle.” Cue Ray singing Big again. “I’m talking hummer, I’m talking big ass truck, I’m talking something that can push stuff out of the way.”

“Like a dump truck?” Ryan asked.

“Not a dump,” Jack said, thinking it over. “You need something you can still drive around in and they are hard to maneuver.”

“Too big Ryan,” Ray said. The speed of this jazz hands was quickly failing him.

“So what everyone is going to do is take their vehicle to their location,” Jack explained. “When I call go, everyone is going to rob their store, jump in their vehicle and we’re all gonna meet on Power Street.” Jack indicated Power Street on the map, not that he needed to. It was a major road cutting through a large part of Los Santos. They knew it well. The area he was indicating, and had highlighted on the map, was a long stretch just east of their Michael and Gavin’s apartments.

Jack turned back to the group, nervous about the next part. He wasn’t sure how it would be received by the Crew but he had faith in them. Everyone was probably at the most cooperative and focused they would ever be thanks in part to Michael’s stunt last week. Everyone would be on point this time and wary out of fear. He didn’t like that, but Jack would take what he could get in way of cooperation and attention to detail.

Like for example, Michael, Geoff, and Ryan were all doing no brake in perfect synchronization.

“You guys are going to clear out Power Street as much as possible,” Jack said. “Because while you all are robbing the store, I’ll be stealing a private jet.”

“Nice!” Gavin said. He loved fancy aircrafts. And stealing.

“I’ll be watching over,” Jack said, “and when you guys all make it to Power Street…I’m landing the jet on Power Street and we’re all jumping in.”

Silence met this pronouncement and all stupid gestures ceased. Everyone stared at Jack like they were hoping he was joking. He was joking right?

Ray finally grinned and resumed his Jazz hands with a joyful shout of, “Oh sweet it’s like Con Air!”

Everyone laughed.

“You sure about this, Jack?” Geoff asked carefully. He would trust Jack with a crazy plan more than the others but this did seem strange.

“Hey they built the highway straight for a reason,” Gavin pointed out.

“Exactly!” Jack replied, trying to look encouraging. It must have worked because Michael and Ryan immediately came on board and Geoff just shrugged and resumed finger fucking.

“So I think we’ll all be able to do that pretty well,” Jack said, and he did mean it, “but you know…that’s not big enough.” He grinned at the group. Jack was by far more level headed than the others but he was Fake AH Crew just like they were. He wouldn’t be there if he didn’t share a love for the bold, the grandiose, and the slightly insane and ridiculous. He reached up and flipped the map.

“This is for the ‘after we die part of the heist,” Ryan joked.

Jack rolled his eyes. “Fine. Whoever’s alive in the jet, we’re going to Fort Zancudo.” He faced the group. “I want jets. So we’re all jumping out, we’re all getting jets.”

“So we’re stealing a jet to go steal jets,” Geoff said dryly. “Just so we’re clear.”

“We’re going to steal _bad ass jets_ ,” Jack clarified.

Geoff rolled his eyes. “Ok, because for a minute I thought stealing a plane to steal more planes was a very stupid idea. Thank you for clearing that up: we’re stealing a plane to go steal _badass_ planes. Now I get it.”

“Good,” Jack retorted, ignoring his tone. “We take as many as we can, land on the strip here,” he pointed at the map again. “Then bevs on me!”

“Nice,” Gavin said excitedly. He loved bevs too. He loved everything about this plan.

“You ready for this?” he asked the group. “Five hits, multiple jets, we should be fine.”

Everyone exchanged looks for a minute before they all burst out laughing. They had to. After last time, it just felt like the next step to be heading into a crazy plan. Despite all the mistrust still lingering and the doubt still circling, they all felt that this was really their opportunity to make up for things. That’s why Jack had tweaked his plan to show faith in his gang’s abilities. It should work. But even if it failed, it might bring them back from the edge Michael’s heist, or really of their job up until now, had forced them onto.

“We’re ready,” Ryan said.

“Yeah, we can do it,” Gavin agreed.

“If we don’t blow up,” Geoff tacked on, but he was grinning.

“I won’t let you guys down!” Michael said firmly.

“Great,” Ray said tiredly. “Are we done now? Can we stop?”

“Yeah we’re ready,” Jack said.

“OH THANK GOD!” Ray said, dropping his jazz hands and falling onto the floor in exhaustion.

“He’ll be fine,” Ryan said encouragingly to Jack. “Let’s do this!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have received many wonderful comments on this story lately. Thank you to my commenters and to my readers! As a treat, here is the first part of Jacks' heist. (What? An update so soon? Lucky you guys!) There will probably be a long delay before the next part of Jack's because the set up for his is quite long and full of shenanigans so be patient. Enjoy!


	17. Gotta Jet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why do they keep letting Gavin fly the chopper?

“Ryan don’t shoot already,” Ray said, looking nervously out of his window at Ryan, who was hanging on to the car and aiming his gun out at traffic.

“I’m not shooting,” Ryan said calmly. “I’m just suggesting shooting.” Nonetheless, he lowered his weapon.

Jack made a mental note of the interaction. One of the things that had changed since Michael’s heist was the Crew dynamics. Ray and Ryan were proving to be a good check and balance for each other, both listening to the other. It likely had something to do with their near-death Blaze of Glory last month. Ryan was also more receptive to the rest of the Crew after his brush with death and Ray was more focused. Gavin was suddenly finding himself slightly less ridiculed by Michael since he had managed to survive the last job and a touch more respected by the group at large since he alone had not betrayed anyone yet. Everyone was more inclined to listen to Geoff after his shocking admissions.

However, as Michael went racing around the corner towards a wall without hitting the breaks, Jack made sure he remembered that they were still the Fake AH Crew and you could never fully fix idiots. Himself included sometimes.

Michael turned from the wall at the last minute with a huge lurch and the car went up on two wheels, dumping Ryan and Gavin off. Jack, still distrustful of Michael even though he had allowed him to drive, wasted no time in popping his door and leaping out onto the sidewalk. The car righted itself at the last minute and slammed back onto all four tires, narrowly missing Gavin’s head.

The entire Crew laughed at Jack’s hasty exit. “Jack, you jumping out may have been the coolest thing I have ever seen,” Michael said.

“You jumped out upwards like a rocket,” Gavin added, picking himself up off the ground. Jack response was to grin and give a mocking salute.

“So all black,” he reminded the Crew as they trouped inside the very fancy looking store. 

“I don’t think I am going to find a balaclava in this lovely store,” Gavin muttered.

“You mean a European twinkie?” Geoff asked sarcastically. Jack flipped him off. He had made the joke when Ray someone had asked earlier what a balaclava was. It had been one of his better jokes.

The Crew browsed clothing, spending probably more than they were going to make on suits, shoes, and ties. While they browsed, Gavin piped up with his thoughts on the heist.

“So let’s place bets,” he said, trying on a black bucket hat and grimacing at himself in the mirror. His face and mouth looked all wrong these days. Too many face injuries in his line of work. “Do you think we’ll get to the point where Jack can actually try and land this thing?”

“Yes,” Ryan and Ray said at the same time without further elaboration.

“I think some people will,” Michael said with a nervous look at Jack. Jack studied shoes and said nothing to waylay Michael’s apparent fear for his safety. Jack didn’t want to give the boy false hope. He was still back and forth on whether or not he should arrange an accident for Michael.

Geoff picked up on that tense moment and added his own thoughts. “I think we’re gonna do it!” he cried cheerfully, giving Jack a pointed look.

Ray looked doubtfully over at Geoff, pulling a white suit jacket on over his tuxedo shirt. “I think the jet thing is where things are gonna go a little, uh…a little wrong.”

“Ok,” Jack said, pulling on his last item of clothing, a black vest, and turning to the group. “If something happens and I don’t make the jet landing for whatever reason, then I want you guys to go find some jets. Ok?”

The Crew nodded and finished picking out clothes. The exited the store later all blacked out, except Ray who decided to go all white for a “ying and yang effect.” Jack let it go. The drove to their old friend, the mask store, and bought masks, managing to only kill two people between the store and the mask shop. After a quick stop at Ammunation, they had completed the first part of their setup tasks.

“Let’s head to the airport,” Jack said as the piled back into the AH Mobile, Jack driving this time. It had started to rain, much to Ray and Gavin’s disappointment as they were left outside to grip the edges of the car. As they approached the airport with a sharp turn, Gavin felt something thump into his chest lightly and looked down.

“Michael are you holding C4 against my chest?” Gavin demanded.

“No!” Michael said, not lowering the C4 and trying not to laugh.

Gavin glared. “Yeah you are!”

Michael and the others laughed as the airport came into view. Michael started to pull the C4 back inside, but Jack hit a large puddle and hydroplaned a bit, causing Michael to knock his wrist against the window frame and release the C4. It flew over the car, yanked by the air current from the car’s speed and it hit the ground next to a helicopter.

“Whoops,” Michael muttered just before the C4 ignited.

The chopper next to them in the airport immediately exploded, making Jack swerve as he dodge some debris.

“What the fuck just happened?” Jack asked, confused as the chopper burned feet from them.

“And why are their cops?” Geoff added as sirens split the air and lights started flashing behind them. They waited to see if the cops would go past them and respond to the explosion and were shocked when bullets rattled the windows.

“Oh fuck,” Jack growled. “All right everyone hang on, we’re getting in a chopper!” He accelerated the car and raced for the airport entrance. As soon as Jack slid the car to a stop, Gavin hopped down and jumped into the pilot seat as the others scrambled for the passenger and rear seats. The airport was suddenly full of cop cars and cops yelling and shooting at the Crew as Gavin brought the engines to life and lifted the chopper off the ground.

“Police chopper,” Ryan announced hanging out of the side. “Shoot it!”

“Gavin, you need to go faster!” Jack shouted as bullets pinged around his head. “We need an angle to shoot from!”

Ok,” Gavin said, yanking the controls sharply to the left. The chopper jerked left, tipping almost horizontal. Jack grabbed the edge of the chopper opening to prevent being flung into Geoff’s lap while Ray lurched against his seat belt and kept trying to fire at the chopper.

“How’s that?” Gavin asked.

“FUCKING TERRIBLE!” Jack roared.

“Ok, What about this?”

“Gavin,,no!”

Too late. Gavin yanked the helicopter the other way and Jack was flung back towards the chopper opening. “Gavin you mother fuck-!”

He never got to finish. The rain slicked edge of the chopper slipped from between his fingers and Jack was flung out into the open sky.

“Jack!” Geoff shouted, diving for the chopper opening a Gavin turned them up right. “JACK!”

“Hang on!” Ryan shouted. He kicked the chopper door open and dove out the side, streaking through the air for the tumbling black dot that was Jack. 

“Ryan, pop your god damn chute!”

Jacks’ voice was immediately followed by a burst of color as he popped his own chute below Ryan. Ryan growled against the rush of air in his ears. “Why didn’t you say you had a chute?!” he shouted to Jack.

“Why the fuck would you jump out of a chopper when I didn’t?” Jack shouted back while he slowly drifted back to Earth. “What the fuck were you gonna do, catch me?”

“I was gonna try,” Ryan mumbled before yanking the ripcord on his chest.

Up in the chopper, Geoff, Gavin, Michael and Ray were still under siege. Geoff, relieved that Jack was ok, resumed shooting while Ray tried to get an angle with Gavin’s crazy piloting.

“Gavin fly forward!” Michael shouted in frustration. “We have to lose the cops! You are just flying straight up!”

“You can fly forward?” Gavin asked cluelessly.

“Oh God damn it, fuck this,” Ray said and jumped out of the chopper himself.

“Great,” Michael said as Ray tumbled down to earth. “Now we’re the only ones left.”

“I’m still here,” Geoff said indignantly. “I’m not a bitch!”

“Gavin flung me out of the chopper, fuck you!” Jack said as he landed smoothly in the street, ironically right where he had parked his sports car.

“Good entrance!” Ryan crowed excitedly as the ground came rushing up to his feet. He was set for a smooth landing but instead he drifted into a puddle and slipped, winding up on his back in the grimy puddle with his parachute gently covering him like a blanket. Jack could not stop laughing long enough to ask if he was ok.

“I’m here!” Ray said, floating in. “Now I—oh no…”

Ray, much like Ryan, was set for an easy landing but instead of a puddle, a streetlight thwarted his intent. Instead, his parachute hit the pole and wrapped itself around it. Ray’s entire body jolted hard from the sudden stop and the cables holding him to the chute snapped, dropping him ten feet to the ground on his back and quickly removing all air from his lungs.

“I’m here,” Ray said weakly as he tried to breathe.

Jack also was trying to breathe, but it was mostly because he was laughing hard as the white blur that was Ray bounced down in front of his bumper.

“Fuck you, Jack,” Ray grouched, rolling over and hauling himself upright, brushing off his once-was-white suit.

In the meantime Gavin decided they didn’t need the helicopter so he jumped out. Geoff followed and Michael spent ten minutes trying to fly the damn thing before giving up and leaping out too.

“Hey look at me,” Geoff said as he pulled his chute near the top of a skyscraper below. “I’m diving out and pulling my parachute five feet above Godzilla’s knee.”

“That’s lame!” Gavin replied as he pulled his chute much closer to the ground. “My entrance is better—AUUUUGH!”

Much like Ray, Gavin “decided” to drift towards a pole. Unlike Ray who missed the pole and just suffered a fall, Gavin decided he wanted an up-close introduction with the traffic light he was headed towards. A face first introduction.

Jack heard a loud clang as Gavin slammed face first into the traffic light and slowly slid down the pole before landing in a heap on the ground. His only thought was that it may in fact be possible to pass out from laughing at his idiotic Crew mates.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
“All right,” Jack said as the Crew convened on Jack’s location after the unnecessary helicopter side quest. “Eagle One this is you,” he said indicating the liquor store they were standing in front of.

“Appropriate,” Geoff said appreciatively. “Rob’s Liquor. Rob’s about to get robbed!”

“Would you be scared if five people wearing black walked into a thing with helmets?” Gavin asked, as they all piled back into their vehicles, stolen or otherwise.

“Well, I’m wearing white so it kinda offsets it,” Ray pointed out.

Michael rolled his eyes as he joined Ryan in his stolen car. “Do you think Ray when you walked in they were like, ‘Oh it’s a ying and yang thing?’”

The gang followed Jack through Los Santos to see their targets. Ryan’s was on San Andreas Avenue (another liquor store), Ray was assigned the gas station that had previously tried to blow him up and landed him and Gavin in the sewer, Michael was charged with the convenience store from their original heist, and Gavin was in charge of robbing another gas station—

“AHHHHAHHHH!”

“Gavin what the fuck?” Michael asked. They all turned in their respective vehicles to see Gavin come screeching to a stop inches from a gas pump.

“I almost blew myself up,” Gavin said weakly. The other shook their head before moving on to Power Street to view Jack’s landing strip.

During this drive around, the Crew had also incurred the wrath of several armed civilians, attract the cops because of some inappropriate waving of C4 out the window of a car, watch Gavin get run down by two muggers, and laugh while Gavin tried to remove the door that someone had planted C4 on.

That someone was Ryan. In fact, most of the earlier mishaps had been caused by Ryan.

The Crew rode down Power Street while Jack narrated. “I’m going to be flying south to north,” he said as they drove down an long open stretch of highway, also known as Jack’s future runway. “There’s this nice big runway here for me to land on. So I would like you guys to block off all the side streets with the big vehicles that you have to go get.”

“So we’re going to be defending and killing the cops while we clear the way?” Michael asked doubtfully.

“Do your best,” Jack said unsympathetically. _And if you die in the attempt, so be it. We won’t miss you._

So Jack may have been a little pissed at Michael still.

The others broke off from Jack as he headed to the airport, The Crew managed to procure several eighteen-wheelers and SUVs. Jack snagged a private jet from the airport and the Crew headed to their targets. As the others readied their weapons and slipped on their helmets, Gavin finally said what they were all thinking.

“If this works, I will be blown away.”

 _It will work,_ Jack thought to himself. It had to. Not only did they need the victory for the Syndicate, but they needed to prove to each other that they could do this. They couldn’t let more failure result in another incident like Michael’s heist. They had to stand together or they were all going down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was shorter than planned. While a lot of good stuff happens in the setup for Jack's heist, most of it is driving mishaps and other things that are tricky to write or boring to read about. Because of that, I condensed the whole thing. Fear not, the actual heist chapter will be much longer and much more epic.


	18. Overlord Wins!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...or Ryan vs. the World.

Once upon a time there were five clerks: two in a liquor store, two in gas station convenience stores, and one in a 24/7. All of them had had their fair share of tussles. The clerk in the liquor store on San Andreas was sick to death of gangs getting up in his shit. He had been robbed one too many times. It wasn’t the best idea, but he had decided to bring his gun to work with him during the night shift. He was fucking sick of criminals and it was time to teach them a fucking thing or two. 

The other liquor store clerk went traditional: he had a baseball bat.

The other clerks had all replaced clerks that had been gunned down by gang violence. Word on the street was that the Fake AH Crew, the notably worst gang in the city, had suddenly gone on a spree. No shopkeeper felt safe, especially these three who had been thrown into the line of fire.

Little did these five clerks know, but they were about to have something in common. One evening, just as the sun set of smoggy Los Santos, five men in black wearing motorcycle helmets entered the five stores simultaneously and the five clerks learned the hard way that maybe the Fake AH Crew wasn’t all talk anymore.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
“Eagles One, Two, Three, Four, and Gavin,” Jack asked as he flew over the city. “Are you in position?”

“Ready,” Gavin said, slamming the visor down on his helmet and wincing when he smashed his finger in the process.

“Yes,” Geoff said, positioning himself outside the door with his gun in hand, ready to charge in.

“Yeah,” said Ray, throwing up some jazz hands so he could make a stylish entrance.

“In position,” Ryan said, hopping out of his car and sauntering up to the liquor store.

“Ready,” Michael added, cocking his heavy pistol.

The sun sank below the skyscrapers of Los Santos as Jack flew. This was it. They could do this. All he had to do was land the jet. They could get past all the betrayal and all the failure and pull together for this heist. They could do this!

“All right,” Jack said. “Let’s heist!”

As one, the Fake Ah Crew kicked in the doors to their respective targets and ran in guns blazing. There was a cacophony of shouts from the crew ranging from “Gimme the money,” to “Biff biff biff!” to someone singing the James Bond theme. Jack circled Power Street, listening hard to make sure none of his crew fell to any alert clerks.

“Heist complete!” Ryan shouted as his clerk passed him the money. The clerk went for some kind of weapon behind the counter but the Mad King never gave him a chance, gunning him down while the customers in the liquor store screamed. Flush with blood and victory, Ryan ran back to his car and gunned the engine, heading for Power Street.

“Leg it!” Gavin yelled, leaving his own store’s clerk alive but in the dust as he fled for his car, money safely tucked in his pocket.

“Oh you’re dead,” Ray said to his victim with a laugh as he murdered the guy and ran with the money.

Michael said nothing he just ran from the store, killing the clerk and reminding the others to do the same.

“Geoff, what’s your progress?” Jack asked as Geoff continued to shout at the liquor store clerk who was taking forever. “The others are on their way.”

“I’m trying” Geoff shouted back. “Hurry the fuck up moron!” The clerk gave him a dirty look but did not move faster, in fact he slowly broke open a roll of quarters and dumped it into the bag. “Do you wanna die?” Geoff shouted. “Give me the fucking money, you cocksucker.”

“Geoff just kill him and go,” Michael yelled. “Come on.”

The clerk finally emptied the register and threw the bag at Geoff. “I got it, I—!”

Geoff hear the loud click of a gun before he looked up inti the double barrel of a shotgun.

“You’re the one who is gonna die,” the clerk snarled.

“Eagle One, come in!” Jack yelled as Geoff suddenly went silent. “Eagle One.”

Geoff just stared at the clerk who stared right back. “Drop the money asshole,” he said.

Geoff couldn’t think. He couldn’t move. He could drop the money, true, but then the clerk would shoot, wouldn’t he? That and he’d fail the Crew, they needed the money and they needed the victory. Maybe he could shoot the clerk first with the gun dangling limply from his hands. No…no, he’d never get it up in time. (That’s what she said.)

“Geoff, are you there?!”

There was only one thing Geoff could do. He couldn’t let his Crew down but he would never raise his gun in time. There was one option, one choice and he had to take it.

“GEOFF!”

Geoff turned on his heel and ran. He sprinted down the center aisle, vaulted a display rack, the money held tightly to his chest. He had moved so quickly he had shocked the clerk. He hadn’t shot right away. The door was right in front of Geoff, the handle was in his hand, he was pushing it open.

His shoulder exploded in a shower of blood. 

“Oh no!” Geoff shouted, but whether it was for himself of for his Crew, he could not say. His knees buckled and he crashed face first into the glass door, shattering it and falling through to the glass littered sidewalk below. Pain was everywhere, it was all he was now. Pain and the steady drip, drip of his own blood on the sidewalk.

“Geoff, no!” Jack shouted. “Aw shit we lost Eagle One!”

“Geoff!” screamed Michael and Gavin at the same time.

“Are you serious?” Ryan yelled, turning the vehicle he was driving to intentionally run over approaching police.

“What happened?” Ray demanded as he floored the gas in his own truck, ignoring the police on his tail.

“Did the clerk pull a gun on him?” Michael asked. “What the fuck happened.”

“I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know!” Jack shouted, desperately trying to boost the signal in his earpiece to hopefully reach Geoff. Geoff couldn’t be dead. He couldn’t be! “Geoff!”

Silence.

“GOD DAMN IT!” Jack screamed, slamming both fists so hard on the dash of the jet that the rubberized plastic cracked under his fist. “DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT!”

Below him Ryan, Ray, Michael, and Gavin, we all driving through the streets, police tailing them closely thanks to the slow maneuvering speed of their large vehicles. For a minute no one spoke, they just listened to Jack lose it, feeling a sudden bloom of panic at the loss of their leader.

Finally it was Ray who broke the silence. “Jack you need to get to Power Street.”

Jack lifted his head from the plane controls and glared even though Ray couldn’t see. “You fuck—!”

“Geoff would want us to complete the heist,” Michael said, cutting across Jack.

“Yeah and you would know what he wanted so well,” Jack snarled at Michael. “You fucking betrayed him.”

“Geoff forgave me because I bought us time with the Syndicate,” Michael snapped back. “Don’t throw away our shot at doing this. Geoff would fucking kill us all if we failed now.”

“He’s right,” Ryan said. “It’s not over. We have to make this work or we’re all dead.”

“Besides, no one has died yet,” Gavin pointed out “Geoff will probably pop up later.”

Jack sighed heavily and readjusted his controls. “All right. Fuck. All right everyone, get to Power Street.”

The guys all floored it at Jack’s command, finally clueing in to the sirens yelling behind them. It was an interesting sight four giant vehicles somehow nimbly avoiding police cars. Jack had flown well away from Power Street, circling over Geoff’s target in hopes of seeing the man himself fleeing, but no luck. He changed course while the other drove and haphazardly shot out of the back of the trucks.

“Jack, I am on my way to Power Street!” Gavin announced, tossing a grenade out the window and blowing an approaching cop car to hell.

“I can see you all heading that way,” Jack said, eyeing the GPS pings on his readout.

“I am on Power Street,” Ryan said, flying onto the highway and immediately sideswiping a minivan out of the way. In his rearview mirror, a large truck came up fast behind him and he almost shot at it until he caught sight of Michael behind the wheel.

“I’m inbound with a lot of Po-Po behind me!” Michael added. “I—SHIT!” He accelerated behind Ryan and deliberately crashed into a cop car without breaking his speed. His truck plowed through unharmed and launched the cop are into the air, where it exploded into tiny, fiery pieces. 

“Woah Michael!” Ryan shouted, ducking as a flying steering wheel smashed his passenger side window.

Michael’s truck tipped onto the side, but a quick turn saved him from going over. The truck bounced onto the pavement, jostling him but he was able to maintain his course. “I think I picked the right vehicle!” he said, driving down the now relatively clear street.

“Let me know when it’s clear!” Jack shouted, just as Gavin pulled onto Power Street, joining the others and slamming into approaching cars to clear the path further.

“I think I took a wrong turn!” Rays swore and yanked the steering wheel left to take out a police car. He leaned forward in his truck staring up at the road above, which happened to be Power Street. Somehow he had turned wrong and ended up below them. “I’m below you! Just land and I’ll figure it out.”

“Ray, hurry up!” Ryan shouted, He had pulled over and exited his vehicle to better launch his assault on the cops surrounding him.

“Am I good for a landing?” Jack asked as Power Street raced by beneath him.

“You’re good, you’re good!” Michael yelled as he backed up, shoving another car out of the way.

“All right,” Jack said, wiping nervous sweat from his brow and taking a deep breath. “I’m coming down!” Jack shoved the controls downward and the plane dropped from the sky. 

Michael and Gavin leaned forward across the dashboards of their trucks as the sleek black body of the jet suddenly screamed its way into view, flying so low they were slightly worried about being hit. Out in the street, cops were turning to look in shock as the jet came lower and lower, heading right for them. It was the last thing anyone expected to happen in the middle of Power Street. Ryan gripped his gun and prayed while still keeping an eye on the surprised police and Ray below them saw the jet through one of the gaps overhead, wheels barely a foot above the ground. 

Jack could do this. He had to land. Cops were swarming all of them, bullets were flying around them and they weren’t getting out if this if he didn’t land it.

“I’m coming from the south! I’m coming in!” Jack shouted. He yanked up on the controls at the last second and the squeal of rubber on cement ripped through the air, drowning out every sound. The plane bounced one…twice…three times…and the stuck the landing!

“OH HOLY CRAP!” Michael roared victoriously.

“OH CHRIST ALIVE!” Gavin shouted as Jack sailed down the street.

“OH SHIT!” Ryan yelled as the jet streaked past him, plowing down one or two cops who didn’t make it out of the way in time. It was going so fast that the air current it generated nearly sent Ryan flying. That was when they all realized it wasn’t stopping. “Jack! Stop, dude!” Ryan shouted. 

“Hit the brake, HIT THE BRAKES!” Michael screamed as the jet passed him too, still roaring its way down the street at full speed.

“I’m trying!” Jack said as he fought both the steering and the suddenly locked breaks. “I can’t stop!” Jack threw everything he had into the breaks, releasing the steering completely. The wheels smoked as the speed of the plane fought him. Still he started to slow and he finally crested the hill at the end of Power Street, rolling to a stop.

“I’m braked, I’m braked, come on!” Jack shouted. He grabbed the steering controls again and began to turn as the Crew sped toward him in their trucks.

“That was incredible!” Gavin shouted, bouncing in his seat as he drove. The jet ahead of them began to turn slowly and Gavin sped into the intersection where Jack was parked. He hit the brakes hard, sliding across the road to block on end of the intersection and leaped from his truck. Behind him, Michael did the same for the other side, pausing to shoot out of his window at some SWAT men before tumbling out onto the street. Ryan was still charging towards them in his truck and far in the distance they could see Ray trying to catch up. Unfortunately, the police were coming at them from all ends of the street, already bursting past Michael and Gavin’s roadblocks.

Jack jumped out of the cockpit and kicked the door open as Michael and Gavin sprinted for the jet. “Get in, get in! Hurry up!”

Gavin made it first, stumbling as fast as he could up the stairs. Michael, only a bit behind him, was nearly to the stairs when the first bullet got him in the shoulder. It hit the vest, but it knocked him down from impact. He spun around and raised his gun.

“I’m getting biffed!” Michael shouted as no less than 10-20 cops suddenly aimed at him. “Oh shit,” he ducked a hail of gunfire and returned fire as more slugs punched into his vest and a few grazed his arms and legs. “Oh shit, I’m not gonna make it!”

“Get in!” Ryan shouted, plowing his truck through the cops that were shooting Michael. He leaped out again and unloaded into the police. “Michael get in! Go!” Michael dropped his now empty pistol and fled to the jet. Ryan shot faster and surprisingly more accurately than he had in a long while to cover Michael as he backed slowly toward the jet.

Ryan grit his teeth as Michael, Gavin, Jack, and Ray all screamed at him to get in the jet. Jack and Gavin and Michael also shouted for Ray, who had finally arrived and was sprinting towards them. 

“Ray come on!” Ryan shouted.

“You first asshole!” Ray yelled back.

Ryan couldn’t go yet. He had to cover the escape. He had to make sure the jet got away and he had to make sure that Ray made it on board.

Ray growled under his breath and tossed his rifle down, yanking his rocket launcher off of his back. He aimed at the collection of cops and vehicles and pulled the trigger, erasing all of them in a giant fireball. The remained police had turn their sights on the jet and were aiming for the engines now while Jack did his best to maneuver out of the way. Ryan was closest to the jet and Ray looked back at him, realizing he owed the guy one.

“Just go!” he shouted to Ryan and the others. “Just go!”

“NO!” Ryan roared back.

“Fuck you Ryan, it’s my turn!” Ray yelled. “I’ll be fine!” As though to illustrate his point, he blew up yet another large group of cops. “GO!”

Ryan went, believing Ray even when his instincts screamed at him. Ryan raced up into the jet, leaving the door hanging open as though Ray might run over at any point.

“Ray get in!” Michael screamed desperately.

“X-RAY!” Gavin shouted before letting loose with some kind of panicked shriek.

“I’ll cover your escape! JUST GO!” Ray shouted back. “Just go!

They couldn’t wait. Jack started forward, picking up speed and knocking some police cars out of the way for Ray. He hated to leave the kid, but Ray was right. They needed to go before the cops destroyed the plane. They had already lost Geoff and, if he was honest, were probably about to lose Ray. While Jack would have preferred to lose Michael, he couldn’t throw the others under the proverbial bus. Ray made his choice.

Jack zoomed down the road, quickly learning that frantically racing downhill in a plane was much harder than landing one. The plane kept wanting to lift up but they didn’t have enough speed yet so the plane was pin-balling crazily down the street, knocking into streetlights and traffic signs and the occasional cop or civilian. Gavin and Michael strapped themselves in, held on, and screamed as the plane tried to bounce them around. Ryan was gripping the door frame, still trying to shoot behind him to cover Ray even as they drove well out of range. They finally picked up speed and Jack tried to lift the plane but it resisted.

“Get off the ground!” he shouted in frustration, as the right wing careened into another streetlight.

“We’re gonna lose the wing!” Michael said as sparks flew from the streetlight past his window and paint chipped of the wing.

“You’re fine!” Ray shouted, still shooting while looking ahead to make sure they escaped.

“Take off!” Gavin screamed as cops came at them from the front. “Take off!”

“Come on Jack!” Michael shouted.

Jack floored the plane and then pulled hard upward on the controls. The nose lifted a bit and bounced back down. Not good enough. Jack threw everything he had into lifting the plane and thought a prayer to anyone listening (maybe Geoff?) and the nose lifted again…and the body and tail followed. They left the ground. “We’re airborne! We’re airborne!” he shouted

The entire crew let out an earsplitting cheer, even Ray, and the cops all turned to look as the jet roared up into the sky.

Ray took advantage of the distraction to run for an open and idling police car nearby. He managed to get in the car behind the wheel and looked up just as one cop who had not been distracted grinned at him through the window and raised his shotgun. Ray froze. This was it. There was no escaping it.

The last thing he heard before the shotgun exploded in his ears and his body was slammed into the window was Ryan’s, Gavin, and Michael shouting his name.

But after a moment, he realized he was still alive. His eyes were squinted shut and aside from a dizzying amount of pain from where his head had cracked the window and his earpiece had shattered, he was ok. He opened his eyes. How had that cop missed?

He hadn’t. He wasn’t in front of Ray anymore. Instead there was another cop car in front of him with blood splattered on the windshield and bumper. Ray looked around and saw the cop about ten feet to his right, sprawled on the asphalt with his body at a crazy angle, as though his spine had snapped in three places, which it probably had.

Had he been hit by one of his fellow cops?

Ray turned his attention back to the cop car just as the door open and a man in black with a partially shattered motorcycle helmet got out. He limped around to the passenger side of Ray’s police car and opened the door before collapsing into the seat. He was holding his left arm gingerly and had a bloody scrap of his jacket pressed against his bleeding shoulder. The man turned and grinned at Ray, revealing a few missing teeth and a blood soaked mustache.

“Can I get a ride?” Geoff asked Ray.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Of course up in the jet, no one knew that Ray and Geoff were actually alive. Instead they were shouting at the silence.

“Ray!” Jack yelled as they all heard the shotgun go off and Ray yelled. “Ray!”

“Did we lose him?” Michael yelled. “Ray!”

“Ray answer me!” Ryan shouted.

Silence answered them.

“Shit!” Jack yelled, punching the dash again.

“We lost Alpha One and Alpha Ray,” Michael said sadly.

“Eagle One and Eagle Three,” Jack corrected.

“Um guys,” Ryan said, cutting across the panic. “We are still getting shot at.” As though to illustrate his point, several bullets pinged around his head, causing him to duck back inside. “Shoot out the back!”

“We can’t!” Michael announced. As they rose higher, the suction from the still open door was pulling at all of them, Ryan just barely managing to hold on as he fired out of the back.

“We’re heading to Fort Zancudo,” Jack announced. “I want those jets!”

“Ryan, close the door!” Gavin exclaimed as he felt his body tugging against the seatbelt he was glad he had put on.

“I gotta get this chopper!” Ryan said, holding the door handle and hanging out of the side. He could feel gravity trying to pull at him, but he ignored it. Ray’s sacrifice would not be in vain. He was going to take out the choppers following them, complete this heist and go on a killing spree to end all killing sprees.

“Ryan, get in here!” Michael said. “You’ll fall!”

“I’m fine,” Ryan replied through gritted teeth. His rifle clicked empty and he threw it out of the plane, hoping to hit the chopper but unsurprised when it missed. He fumbled quickly in his bag for another weapon. “It’s ok. I’ll—.”

What he would do they didn’t find out. As Ryan fumbled for a new gun, his grip slackened. At the same time, Jack lifted the plane sharply and put on a burst of speed to lose the police helicopter. It proved too much for Ryan’s hold and he felt his feet leave the floor as he was sucked from the plane.

“OH NO!” He shouted as gravity took hold and yanked him toward earth.

“RYAN!” Michael shouted, diving for the door and forgetting he was strapped in and jerking hard against the seat belt.

Ryan slung his duffel back around his shoulder as he fell and flipped in mid-air, grateful for the parachute he had thought to put on before the heist began. “I’m ok!” he yelled to the others before pulling the ripcord. The Crew in the plane sighed in relief when they saw the parachute burst open below them.

“We’ll meet you there!” Michael said, slumping in relief that Ryan was ok. After his stunt last week, and the supposed deaths of Ray and Geoff, he would feel guilty as hell if he had once again allowed someone to die in front of him. He knew now that he could never face it again.

“Eagle Two, find your way to Fort Zancudo,” Jack instructed.

“I’ll meet you there,” Ryan confirmed.

“And everything was going so amazingly well,” Gavin said sadly.

“Ryan went back for Geoff and Ray,” Michael joked. “He’s gotta get their bodies for their families.”

Ryan snorted as he drifted. “Fuck you. I won’t be the one to tell Griffon Ramsey we let her husband get killed.”

The entire Crew winced at that. Griffon was not someone you messed with. She was going to be pissed if Geoff was really dead and the fact that she was very good with a chainsaw made everyone slightly terrified. Or very terrified.

Gavin changed the subject. “Jack I gotta hand it to you, that landing and takeoff was phenomenal.”

“Amazing!” Michael added.

“I can’t believe we did that,” Ryan added as the ground rushed up below him. He was landing in one of the ritzy neighborhoods high in the hills of Los Santos, on what looked to be a patch of land under development. He braced himself as his feet hit the ground and he tumbled into the dirt with a series of grunts and groans.

“Eagle Two, what’s your status?” Gavin said, pronouncing it ‘state-us’ with his accent.

“I’m on the ground,” Ryan said, getting up and disentangling himself from his parachute. There were sirens behind him and as he ran towards the road, cops drove into view, firing in his direction. He supposed they had tracked his parachute from the fleeing jet and come after him. “I’m still being shot at.” He ran down the street hoping for a car or anything that could help him get out of here while also pulling out a rocket launcher from the bag he had miraculously held on to in his descent. A spotlight lit him up and he squinted up at the chopper blinding him. “I got a chopper.” He raised the rocket launcher and fired, the chopper disintegrating in a haze of fire. “But not anymore.” Ryan ran for a police car in front of him, killing the driver and yanking him from the vehicle as he felt a few bullets graze him, and one hit his vest. “Ouch,” he muttered, getting behind the steering wheel. He slammed the door closed to give himself a bit more cover and accelerated into the fray, blowing past cops and running down more than a few.

“We’re approaching the Fort,” Jack said. “We need to get those Lazers.”

“We should say right now, which ones we’re going for,” Gavin suggested. “I’ll go for the one in the hangar.” They had scoped out the military base more than a few time and had stolen jets semi-frequently so they were very familiar with the layout.

“I’ll get the one in the middle.” Jack replied, leaving Michael with the one furthest from where they were going to exit the jet. That may or may not have been intentional. Michael wasn’t surprised.

Below them, Ryan was jumping sidewalks, grassy medians, cop cars and the occasional trees to flee the onslaught of police. “I can do this,” he muttered to himself. “I can survive this!”

Jack flew over the military base and made it almost directly above the airfield, according to his dashboard GPS. It was time to go.

“Alright,” Jack said, unbuckling his seatbelt and making sure his chute was secure. “We need to jump. Ready?”

“Ready!” Michael and Gavin said, crouching on either side of the still open door and the plane’s nose dipped and began to plummet downward.

“Ok, 3…2…1, JUMP!” Jack yelled. Michael and Gavin jumped, Jack right behind them. They were thousands of feet in the air. The jet drifted off, still plummeting and Jack was fairly sure it would crash into the ocean nearby. They on the other hand were streaking downward like bullets, headed right for the military base. It was several minutes before a loud horn like siren started going off below them. They weren’t yet close enough to the ground to be able to see men and cars scrambling to get to weapons to take out the intruders, but they easily imagined it.

“Good luck gentleman!” Ryan shouted.

“Jack, I don’t know why I am even asking,” Gavin asked as they continued to fall, “but if, for whatever reason, I manage to get out of here with a jet, where am I going?”

“Trevor’s Air Strip,” Jack replied. “Ryan meet us there, if you can.” The base was getting closer now and Jack, Michael, and Gavin all released their parachutes.

Down on the ground and in an entirely different part of the city, Ryan’s head nearly popped off his shoulders as hit a pursuing cop car full speed and spun crazily into a tree first then a light pole. He managed to get the car back under control. It seemed to him, as SWAT vans started appearing behind and in front of him that every cop in the city was pursuing him while the military was pursuing his fellow Crew members. “Oh man, I am hot with cops,” he said aloud. His police car jerked again and muffled explosion met his ears and one side of the car slumped. He had lost a tire. “Aw, why don’t police cars have armored tires?!”

“I’m heading towards the jet,” Jack said. He was the closest to the ground and he lifted his legs up just as he sailed over the jet, His feet touched the metal and he stumbled, but stayed on his feet as he landed smoothly on top of the jet. “Nailed it!”

“JACK, DUCK!”

Jack hit the roof as Michael’s shoes just missed slamming into his skull. Michael floated downward towards the jet in the distance and landed not so gracefully on his butt. “Sorry!” he called to Jack. “I went for the same one you did.”

Ryan’s other tire went out in his distraction by Michael’s shout, He was still moving, but sparks flew from his tires and he was slowing down a bit. “This is grim,” he updated the Crew.

Michael jumped up as a tank and a truck came speeding towards him, bullets kicking up dirt all around him. “Oh no, I’m getting shot again!” he cried, sprinting towards the jet. “Go, go you fucking idiot!” he told himself. Suddenly he stumbled as something tugged on him from behind. He had forgotten to take off his parachute and it was slowing him down. He yanked it off and ran to the jet. Michael ducked as bullets ricocheted off of the armored plane and he just managed to wrench open the top and kick the engines to life. He gunned the engine and wasted no time in lifting off before the tank could shoot him down. Jack’s jet was already rising high up in the sky ahead of him. “Gavin?” Michael asked. “Gavin where—?”

“AAAAAAHHHHHHH!”

Gavin had been floating toward the hangar quite easily and relatively undetected. He was somewhat behind the others and the soldiers below were more focused on Jack and Michael. The hangar came into view and for a brief and shining moment, he imagined himself drifting casually into the hangar, landing on his jet, and flying safely away.

But then reality slammed into him. Literally.

“Oh no,” he muttered. He realized a split second too late that he was coming in too high. The words “Fort Zancudo” were eye level as he drifted straight into the hangar, but the problem was that the words were on top of the hangar door. Gavin tried to tug the handles of his chute to lower himself, but for once his flight path straightened out and the word “Fort” took up his entire line of sight.

He let out his now trademarked squawking yell just before he slammed his head into the door, right between the words Fort and Zancudo. His parachute snagged in the door frame and snapped, dropping him fifty feet to the ground below. His head cracked against the pavement and everything went dark.

“Gavin!” Michael yelled. “GAVIN!”

“Oh shit, we lost him!” Ryan yelled when Michael’s shouts went met with weird British slang.

“Michael, stay focused,” Jack said as Michael yelled something about going back for his friend. “Get to Trevor’s we’ll try to recover him later.”

Michael started to argue, but then remembered that his standing with Jack wasn’t great and that he’d do well to follow orders. Instead of turning back, he set his course behind jack and flew off toward Trevor’s.

Meanwhile, military cars and cops gunned it for the body lying inside the hangar. One cop car in particular broke away from the others and sped well ahead of them, screeching to a stop and blocking the body from view. Two men jumped out and quickly lifted the body into the back seat before jumping back in. They stomped on the gas and the others cops and soldiers finally realized that the cop car in question was not really full of cops. It was too late however as the flashing lights sped around the corner, through the exit, and out of sight.

“You think we should have buckled his seatbelt?” Ray asked Geoff as he watched Gavin’s limp form bounce and slide around in the back seat.

“Fuck no,” Geoff said. “The brain damage will be good for him.” He glanced back at Gavin as well. “Plus I am pissed he dropped the bag when he bonked his big nose on the door. We didn’t even get the money, just this idiot.”

“True,” Ray said, speeding off towards Trevor’s Air Strip. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

_Police cars are not meant for rough terrain,_ Ryan thought as his teeth chattered in his head from the bouncing and jolting of his stolen cop car. He was high in the hills near Mount Chiliad with state troopers now joining the police and SWAT teams in chasing him. He listened as first Jack then Michael made it out of Fort Zancudo and left their police tail far behind. The radio in his vehicle buzzed with station orders to pursue a stolen cop car heading towards the mountains. It was official. Every cop in the world was behind him.

Ryan leaned out of the long shattered driver’s side window and tossed one of his few remaining grenades behind him, satisfied with his aim as several cars exploded. The driving was rough, but it was equally rough for his pursuers and while they were many, they were not fast. He drove up into the hills, taking paths that nearly toppled his car and did topple some of the others. After the last of his tires gave out, he abandoned his uphill dash and instead free fell down the hill in his rolling police car and back to the road. Yes, his pursuers could catch up but he was less burdened by his missing tires.

Meanwhile, Jack landed smoothly at Trevor’s Air Field. “I’m on the ground Eagle Four,” he told Michael. “Eagle two, where are you?”

“I’ve got no tires left,” Ryan replied. “I’m on an epic car chase right now with no tires in a police vehicle—uh oh!” Ryan swerved out of the way as a SWAT van attempted to cut him off. He avoided a head on collision, but crashed his front bumper directly into the SWAT guy hanging out of the open van door. The SWAT man went flying up and over his windshield with a series of loud thumps and a scream.

“Ooh, I am sorry Mr. SWAT Man,” Ryan shouted behind him out of the window as he sped off.

Jack and Michael laughed. Jack saw another jet coming into the airfield and Michael whimpered slightly as he lowered the jet to the ground. He just managed to get the landing gear out when the tires squealed down onto the pavement. He yelped as the nose bounced up once, but he made the landing, hitting the brakes and rolling to a stop by Jack.

“Nice little skip off the ground!” Jack said appreciatively. “Congratulations Eagle Four.”

Ryan meanwhile had manage to give some of his cop friends the slip and had taken refuge in a tunnel if the foothills of Mount Chiliad. “I might get out of this,” he said as the sound of sirens faded. “I might—.”

A cop came running into the tunnel, aiming right for where Ryan was crouched by his car. Ryan ended him and the two that ran in behind him. That’s why the sirens had stopped. They had pulled over to chase him on foot.

“Eagle Two, did you get the money?” Michael asked, hopping down from his jet and walking over to Jack.

Ryan scowled at Michael, even though he couldn’t see him. _Of course that prick is focused on money when Geoff, Gavin, and Ray, are probably dead and my ass isn’t far behind._ “Yes. But I’m currently wanted by a lot of people.”

“How many?” Michael asked.

Ryan switched to a rocket launcher as five cops ran in behind him. He let fly and ducked as one cop flew over his head and smashed the back windshield of his getaway car. “All of them. The entire police force of Los Santos”

Jack thought for a moment. He wasn’t sure how much he trusted Michael yet, but they had already lost the rest of the Crew. Maybe they survived, maybe they hadn’t. Until knowing for sure, it was hard to get worked up about it at this point. There had been too many miraculous survivals. Still, he felt he owed it to Ryan to help him out, even if that forced Jack to rely on the one person he trusted least.

“Hey, Eagle Four,” Jack said to Michael. Michael looked at him questioningly. “We’ve got jets. Let’s go help him out.”

Ryan froze. Why hadn’t he thought of that? Better question, why hadn’t those fuckers thought of that twenty minutes ago! “YEAH!” he yelled frustrated. “Yeah, why don’t you come fucking help me?”

Michael laughed but nodded to Jack. “Let’s do it.” Jack grinned and hopped back in his jet. Michael walked around the back of the jet and nearly busted his face as he tripped over an untied shoelace. He swore and bent down to tie it.

In the days to come, Jack could never be sure if what followed was an accident or not.

Jack started the jet’s engine, unaware that Michael had stopped to tie his shoe. Michael was started to hear the whirr of the plane behind him and looked up to see the intake start to glow. 

“JACK!” he shouted, lurching upright as heat washed over him. “OVERLORD NO!”

Michael felt a huge blast of fire and heat slam into him like a ton of bricks, knocking him to the ground. His head cracked on the pavement as his clothes started to smolder, then to burn.

Jack heard Michael scream and looked back just in time to see him fall. Jack jumped from the jet and ran around to Michael where he seemed to be burning from invisible flames. Jack knew what this was: the flames on Michael were so hot, he couldn’t see them. He yanked off his jacket and began beating Michael with it, putting out the fire. Michael lay motionless on the ground, smoking lightly and bleeding from his forehead where it had hit the pavement. The money, which Michael had tucked into his hoodie was in a smoldering bag lying next to him on the ground and Jack knew it wasn’t even worth trying to put it out. It was gone.

“Did we just lose Eagle Four?” Ryan asked into the sudden silence. He immediately winced as a bullet punched into his vest from the still approaching police.

“Uh…” Jack said, looking Michael over. “I don’t know what just happened. I just got in the jet and I think he walked into the fire zone of my jet.” 

“Did you suck him into the intake?” Ryan asked.

“I don’t know.” Jack frowned and turned away from Michael and went to his jet. Michael was a lost cause at this point, no sense in dragging out the inevitable. Besides, he deserved it after the last ob. Jack reach up, preparing to hoist himself up into the jet when he saw Michael out of the corner of his eye. Unwillingly, Jack looked back at the broken and bleeding boy on the concrete. He was probably still alive. If Jack left him here he wouldn’t last long. No one would blame Jack though, they had a job to do and Jack wasn’t a doctor. Who’s to say he wouldn’t think Michael was dead?

But then Jack remembered Geoff’s speech the night of Michael’s betrayal. He remembered Michael trying his hardest this whole heist. He remembered that they needed to work as a team if they were going to get Matt and Burnie to back off. Also Geoff would be pissed at Jack for leaving Michael to die. If he was alive.

Jack couldn’t do it. Well actually he could, he could do it without hesitation or guilt. But he wasn’t going to. He chose not to.

Jack groaned and returned to Michael, hauling the guy up by his black hoodie and dragging his dead weight to the plane. Grunting and panting—Michael wasn’t extremely heavy exactly but unconscious, he was not very maneuverable—he shoved Michael into the co-pilot seat and fixed to oxygen mask to his face, thinking that would help him. He was breathing at least. That done Jack got back in his jet.

While all this was going on, the cops had concentrated their assault on Ryan, pressing hard into the tunnel where he had taken refuge. As he listened to Jack getting Michael settled, he left the tunnel and ran into the foothills so that the cops wouldn’t gun him down where he stood. He dodge helicopter spotlights as he ran, bullets grazed him, more than a few striking home in his chest. He stumbled as one cut his leg, missing the bone, but lighting up a line of fire in his leg. He limped on, only his rocket launcher left now as he aimed into the sky to take down helicopters. He had left his other weapons and his take behind in an effort to escape.

“Eagle Two, I’m coming for you,” Jack announced, starting his jet without casualties this time.

Blood ran down Ryan’s leg and he could hear cop cars rumbling down the mountain towards him. He kept moving, kept plunging downhill even as cops came at him from all sides. “I don’t think I’m going to make it, Overlord,” he said, voicing his fear for his life for the first time in his epic chase. 

“I’m coming to save you!” Jack reassured him, suddenly worried for the first time. Ryan wasn’t a quitter. He wouldn’t admit defeat unless it was inevitable. Jack had to get to him fast.

Ryan shot at a helicopter above him but his shots went wide as his strength failed him. The helicopter and police and SWAT behind him returned fire. He was being overwhelmed.

Ryan heard the sniper rifle go off and felt the shot punch into his back, causing him to cry out. Running downhill as he was, he immediately lost his balance and slammed into the ground. Unable to stop himself, he tumbled and rolled down hill, banging up his face and his entire body as his head swam. His chest was on fire. He had been hit. This was it. Such an anticlimactic ending. He didn’t even get to bring hell down on Los Santos for Ray…

“Don’t die!” Jack said into dead silence as Ryan yelped in his ear. There was no answer. 

Mostly because at the exact moment Ryan rolled to a stop, he looked weakly up at the sky to see the chopper above him go down in a burst of flame. Confused, he continued to stare while he lay bleeding in the dirt. Then, just to confuse him further, an engine revved next to him and a police car came soaring into view, cresting the hill beside his little road and flying right over him. The police car bounced as it landed and turned sharply, whipping around to park beside him. Ryan turned to look and…was that Ray running towards him with a sniper rifle in hand?

“Sorry I shot you. I had to knock you down like you were dead to get the police to hold fire,” Ray said with a grin.

“What?” Ryan croaked faintly, still trying to quench the storm of pain in his ribs.

Ray frowned. “Oooookay. Guess it hit harder than I planned. Geoff come help!”

Geoff immediately came into view, dried blood all over his face and arm, and together they grabbed Ryan’s arms and dragged him into the police car. There were shouts behind them as they hauled him up and into the backseat. Ryan slumped heavily against something soft and alive and saw and unconscious but still alive Gavin beside him sporting a spectacularly bashed head. In the front seat, Geoff took the wheel and gunned the engine while Ray provided them covering fire as they raced off into the night.

Ryan sat up, wincing at the pain in his ribs and legs. Still, the sight of what he had previously thought were his very dead friends was waking him up a bit. “What the fuck guys?”

“Shh!” Ray said, ducking back inside the window. “Here, give me your headset. I’m going to match frequencies on the police radio and we’ll see what Jack is doing.” Ryan handed over the headset and got a mostly clean piece of bandage in exchange. “Warp that leg too,” Ray instructed.”

“Hello?” Jack's’ voice came over the radio. Gavin groaned beside Ryan and blearily opened his eyes. “Anyone?”

Up in the jet, Jack had endured dead silence for the whole thirty second Ryan’s rescue had taken. Now he spoke into the silence, asking if anyone in his crew was left. Someone would answer, surely?

Nothing, this was usually the part where the crew popped up and miraculously survived things. So it was logically time for them to reveal themselves right? Right?

Still nothing.

So that was it then. Just him and a severely injured Michael left. Figures the one guy he wanted dead was the one guy to make it out. Jack growled low under his breath before adopting a very bitter grin. “All right then. I’m gonna get the hell out of here.” He turned the controls and launched into a barrel roll. “Overlord wins!” he shouted, but more bitterly than triumphantly.

Sudden raucous laughter met his ears followed by a groan from Michael behind him. Jack straightened the jet out and listened hard. “Hello?” he said, recognizing that laugh. It was Geoff! Behind him he could hear Ray laughing too and Ryan swearing. There was a also a faint trace of Gavin squawking. They were alive!

“GOD DAMNIT JACK!”

Jack jumped. Michael was awake and not happy. Jack immediately realized that he shouldn’t have given Michael oxygen. It powered those damn lungs Michael used primarily for yelling.

“I walked behind your jet and you just turned it on!” he shouted. Geoff laughed harder, drowning out Ray, Ryan, and Gavin’s chuckles.

“Why did you go there? Why didn’t you go towards yours?” Jack shot back. He was dizzy with gratitude as Geoff and the others continued to laugh in his ear but he was more focused on not getting blamed for Michael being an idiot.

“My shoes was untied!” Michael said. “I nearly tripped. I started running stopped to tie it, I’m right behind your jet and you’re like—!” Michael made a sound that sounded half like a jet firing up and half like he was choking on a gallon of his own mucus. “You fucking shredded me!”

“Burned you, you ass,” Jack grumbled before turning his attention towards the others. “Geoff what happened?”

“Yeah you never said,” Ray added.

“I think I got assassinated by the clerk,” Geoff replied. That triggered more laughter, even from Geoff. It was all so crazy that they all had to laugh or descend into rage and they had had quite enough of that lately. “I was going out the door and bang! Right in the shoulder.”

“And how did you get out?” Jack asked.

“A cop came over to see if I was dead and when I realized I wasn’t, I head-butted the shit out of him.” Geoff explained. “Then I hauled myself into the police car, stuck some of my jacket on the wound so I wouldn’t bleed to death, and then took off after you guys.” Geoff grinned. “That landing was awesome by the way, Jack.”

“I was parachuting into the military base,” Gavin piped up, “and I bashed my head on the top of the hangar and passed out right in front of the jet.” Geoff laughed so hard he got dizzy from the lack of oxygen and had to stop the car in a shady alley.

“I had such an amazing exit and Jack tried to burn me to death,” Michael said, his bitterness at odds with his laughing at Geoff and Gavin’s tale.

“Jack tried to burn you to death, Gavin bonked his head, Geoff almost got assassinated, and I sacrificed myself while killing the cops on the ground so you could take off,” Ray summarized. “Fuck it, I’ll take an honorable death. Especially since I didn’t die.”

“Now how did _you_ get out of _that_?” Ryan asked. “We heard you get shot.”

“You heard the headset break in a ricochet,” Ray replied. “These things are fragile as shit at the worst moments have you noticed?”

“A little coincidental,” Gavin agreed.

“Anyway, Geoff came riding to the rescue in his police car and flattened the cop who tried to kill me,” Ray finished. “We then followed the swarm of police to the military base and picked up Gavin after he cracked his skull and rode into Ryan’s rescue just in time.”

“And shot me,” Ryan muttered mutinously.

“It helped,” Ray said dismissively. “Ryan, I don’t even know what the fuck you were doing the whole time.”

Ryan grinned. “I fought ALL the cops.”

“God damn, I can’t believe that worked.” Jack said impressed with his Crew and his plan. “I mean we lost all the money by sheer accident. But the fact that two jets got out of the base, I can’t believe that. Good job everybody.”

“So what the next step?” Gavin asked.

Everyone thought for a moment.

“Medical attention?” Ryan suggested as his leg bled through the bandage.

“Yes please!” Michael groaned.

“Oh God, yes,” Geoff said holding his shoulder. “Then we can deal with the next phase in our plan.”

Geoff grinned at that and started the car. The Crew was back. They may have failed to get money, but the plan itself had worked and more importantly, they all felt like a Crew again. Jack didn’t even mind that Michael had survived.

Much.


	19. W.A.F.F.L.E.-O.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ray learns that "each other" is actually two words.

Ray was jittery. He couldn’t help it, he just was. It had been two months since Jack landed the plane on Power Street, a stunt the media was still all over. The Fake AH Crew’s credibility was in a huge upswing among the criminals of Los Santos because no one knew the disastrous failures that lie behind the flash and dumb luck. One would think the rise in approval and fear would be enough to placate Burnie and Matt.

It was not. At least not for Matt. Burnie, being the left hand and the enforcer of the Rooster Teeth Syndicate, was pleased with the improving image of the Fake AH Crew. While money was essential, he understood that building a reputation was just as necessary.

Matt on the other hand, only cared for the dollar signs. Matt was displeased. When matt was displeased, you prayed that you could live long enough to fix it.

All that being said, Ray was nervous because this was their final attempt. This was his first chance and also the Fake AH Crew’s last chance. If they failed this job, Matt was going to pull the proverbial plug on their literal lives. Sure, they could run and all of them did have contingency plans to get themselves and their families out but somewhere in the back of Ray’s mind he knew, like the others, that running would buy time. They would be found and killed eventually. Therefore his plan had to work.

Ray was tired though. So tired of the killing, robbing, and failing. He never told the rest of the Crew, but some days he wished that he could abandon the gang. He wished he could devote his crack shot skills to Call of Duty and Halo, wished he could stay up late capturing videos and doing ridiculous things in Minecraft for the videos instead of patching up wounds in the back of vans and dodging exploding vehicles and gun fire. He wanted to be Achievement Hunter, not Fake AH Crew, he was burnt out.

He didn’t have the luxury of being burnt out however. For now he had to come up with a plan. If his plan worked, they had time, time to perhaps dial down the gang and dial up the content for Achievement Hunter. He could dream.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Geoff opened the door to the bathroom on the lot of the Rooster Teeth office complex and squeezed in between Ryan and Jack, added a new glare to the group surly and uncomfortable looks. Ray was by the toilet with the map of Los Santos tacked up on the wall, looking jumpy. Michael and Gavin were closest to him and the whole lot of them were asses to elbows in this cramped bathroom.

Why the fuck had they agreed to meeting in the god damn bathroom?

“Ray why are we here again?” Geoff asked.

Ray nodded seriously, giving Geoff a meaningful look. “We’ve been playing a lot of Watch Dogs recently,” he said, “And we’ve learned that you can hack everything, but there’s no electronic in here.” Ray was referring to the oddly disappointing bus still entertaining video game that had recently been released. They had been doing quite a few Let’s Plays in it and the game involved a lot of hacking and surveillance. It occurred to ray that given the level of insight Matt had into their plans, it was entirely possible he had the heist room bugged. On the off chance this failed too, Ray wanted Matt to not know the details.

It made sense to Ray if no one else.

Ryan pointed up at the ceiling light. “There’s a light,” he said, indicating a flaw in Ray’s “no electronics in here” theory.

Ray glared first at Ryan then up at the light. “You can’t see anything through the light, it’s fine.”  
“I got it!” Gavin said, reaching over Michael and past Geoff to flip the light switch, plunging them all into darkness.

“That’s great,” Ray said sarcastically.

Gavin flipped the switch back and grinned sheepishly at the group. “Sorry guys.”

Ray shook his head and looked down at his notes. “Anyway, heist will begin! This heist is operation W.A.F.F.L.E.” He looked back up at his friends. “W.A.F.F.L.E stands for “We’re all friends, friends love each other,” he explained. He had thought long and hard about the name. Giving all the backstabbing going around and the tentative reunification they recently had, he thought a name reminding them of their friendship would be a brilliant idea.

…that was until yesterday when he was writing up his plan and learned that each other was in fact two words. Oops. He had a plan for that, but he mentally braced himself for ridicule before continuing.

“Learned yesterday that each other was two words,” he said quickly as everyone made to open their mouth and correct him. The gang laughed. “So it will be W.A.F.F.L.E.-O.” he said, indicating an O he had hastily scribbled on to the map. In a half-hearted attempt to salvage his previously brilliant operation name, he had made the O look like a waffle.

They all had to pause for a moment as Geoff lost it completely and laughed until his sides hurt. Ryan finally elbowed him into to silence so Ray could continue.

“Yeah…very disappointed when I found out ‘each other’ was two words,” he muttered. “Anyway. We’re not going to fuck each other, we’re all good friends.” The others grinned and Ray pointed at Jack. “Jack had a sweet heist last time and a good take off and it worked well, so we can do this.”

The others did seem encouraged by the memory of that spectacular landing last time and Ray was encouraged by their positive response.

“First things first,” Ray said. “We’re all going to go by middle names, mass confusion.” Ray consulted his list of middle names and grinned as he looked up at Jack. “Jack, you’re Shannon, which works out since you’re clearly a girl.” Jack rolled his eyes as the others laughed. “Geoff you’re Lazer, coolest middle name ever.” Geoff nodded and was once again grateful for changing his name. “Michael, you’re Vincent, Gavin’s David and Ryan your middle name is James.”

Ryan paused and gave Ray a weird look. “Um…my middle name is Ryan.”

“Yeah but you already go by your middle name so use your first name,” Ray said with a dismissive wave and moved on. “I don’t have a middle name, which I probably should have realized, so I will go as The Artist Formerly Known As Ray, or TAFKAR.”

“Next up,” he said, moving to item two on his list. “Matching suits, with different masks, kind of like Reservoir Dogs”

“Nice!” Ryan said appreciatively. “I like it.”

“Good idea,” Geoff added. 

“Just make sure you look as cool as possible,” Ray added. “See I have it right here: look as cool as possible.” He pointed to his notes and underlined “Look as cool possible” a few times so they could all see it.

“So after suits and masks the only vehicles we are going to need are a Limo and a cargo bob.”

It wouldn’t be a heist without a cargobob. Ryan looked intrigued and the others curious bordering on skeptical because really how could you escape cops in a limo. Still, Ray was undaunted and outlined his plan.

“Here’s what we gonna do,” he said. “We’re going to acquire an armored truck. We are gonna pickup said armored truck and put it on a train. So kinda what Ryan did except you only have to lift up like…one story.”

“Much closer,” Ryan added. 

“Much closer,” Ray agreed. It surprised no one else that Ray had modeled his plan slightly off of Ryan’s. Despite frequent betrayals, they were very like-minded and since Michael’s job in particular had developed a tight bond. Geoff was skeptical about picking up another armored truck and Jack, Michael, and Gavin were downright nervous since they nearly blew up in the last attempt, but perhaps this time it would be easier and closer as Ray and Ryan had pointed out.

“Then we are going to rob it and get out here,” he said, pointing to a point on the map where the train tracks curved away by the water. “We’ll also have to put the limo on the train. If it doesn’t fit…or we suck, we’ll put it here at this drop off point.” Ray pointed to a big X on Trevor’s airfield which was by train exit point. “We’re gonna NOT drive here, because they are going to expect it. We’re instead going to get in the limo, in style with our money, and drive alllllllll the way down here,” he traced the long winding road down the coast and through the city to the outskirts. “We’ve got quite a drive ahead of us I don’t know who’s going to drive, we’ll figure it out based on whose still in play. Then we’re going to blow up the limo, destroy the evidence.

“Then we’re going to find a six man cargobob, or a fucking Titan, whatever. Take it to the big building at the center of town we’re we tried the Wrecking Ball job, divvy up the money, and then we’re all gonna sky dive off.” Ra looked around at the group. “Very simple, any questions?” He had kept it simple on purpose. Their only successful job, Michael’s, had been simple enough and had worked. He figured the simpler the better here.

Ryan pointed at the map, to a crudely drawn picture of a shark in the water off the coast of Los Santos. “What’s the shark for?”  
“They’re dangerous in water,” Ray said matter-of-factly. Ryan nodded sagely in complete understanding, as did Gavin and Michael. Geoff and Jack scratched their heads. What the fuck did a shark, or water, have to do with this heist?

“Who’s responsible for the limo?” Jack asked, trying to refocus the group who were discussing the nonsensical symbols scribbled on the map.

“Oh yeah I didn’t go over duties!” Ray exclaimed, looking back down at his notes.

“Duty goes there Ray,” Michael joked, pointing at the toilet. Ray laughed and immediately sat on the toilet.

Ray returned to his notes. “I will be the limo and the train guy.” He looked up at Jack. “Cargobob, obviously Jack, you fly the best.” Jack nodded and grinned under his beard. “Michael and Ryan will help Jack. When he picks up the armored car he’ll trigger the cops so you guys help defend Jack.” Ryan shot finger guns at him to indicate he understood and Michael nodded, his hand drifting almost unconsciously to the gun at his hip. “Gavin and Geoff, Plan G, you’re in charge of getting the armored truck, driving it to the train and all that. Geoff and Ryan had a previous incident so I figure I can’t put them together next best thing.”

Ryan smiled at Geoff in a “you know you love me” way. Geoff flipped Ryan off and scowled.

“And it’s simple as that!” Ray said cheerfully. “We meet at Michael’s tomorrow and away we go!”

The gang started to file out of the bathroom while Ryan gathered his notes and the map. Geoff paused to congratulate Ray on an easy plan. Geoff had high hopes for this one and appreciated the fact that Ray wasn’t caught up in the need to show off or get flashy. Gavin wished the pan had more glitz, but at least it seemed easy. Michael was just grateful to not have been killed in the last job and Jack was equally grateful that Gavin was nowhere near the cargobob this time.

The gang left and Ray finished gathering his things and exited the bathroom. He was surprised to find Ryan waiting for him, his arms folded over his chest and giving Ray a knowing look.

“Pretty easy plan you had there,” he said nodding at the map and notes in Ray’s hand. “Very unlike what I would expect from you. Almost like you aren’t trying.”

Ray sighed. “We have to keep it simple to succeed.”

Ryan raised an eyebrow. “Since when?”

“Since now,” Ray snapped. “If this fails we’re dead, you do realize that, right? Why is no one acting like it?”

“They’re afraid,” Ryan said. “We’re all afraid to acknowledge it. Well that and Geoff says he is working on a back-up plan in case we do fail this time. A group job. He’s pitched it to Matt and Matt seems into the idea.”

Ray shifted uncomfortably. “So if we succeed here, we’re done.”

Ryan shrugged. “You know Matt. He’ll jump on any chance to bring in revenue. We’ll probably have to go forward with it any way.”

“God damn it,” Ray grumbled. “God damn it!”

Ryan fixed Ray with a piercing look. “See this is what I am talking about. You’re edgy and scared, which I get, but you are withdrawn and the plan you made doesn’t seem like a Ray-like plan. What’s wrong?”

Ray sighed heavily. “Aren’t you tired, Ryan?” he asked quietly. “Aren’t you tired of the killing and the robbing and the target on our back? I wish we could drop the Crew and juts…stick to Achievement Hunter. Just be a bunch of idiots making videos instead of a bunch of idiots two steps from getting their ass killed.” He shook his head. “Do you know what I mean?”

“No,” Ryan replied. “No I don’t, but then. We all know I am crazy and I like the chaos and violence. I get where you’re coming from though, Ray.” Ryan stepped forward and clasped the younger man’s shoulder briefly. “We’re all tired, we’re all stressed, and we’re all running a little scared though But the fact is we all signed up for this. Maybe we didn’t know what we’re getting into at the time, but we knew when we started it wouldn’t end until we were dead or until the Syndicate let us go when we are all old and decrepit.” He released Ray and stepped back.

“You gotta hang in there,” Ryan told him. “You can’t slip up because your tired and burnt out. You gotta keep your head or you’ll die. I’d rather that not happen.”

Ray looked up at Ryan, appreciating the fact that Ryan was his friend. Somehow in all of this craziness, he knew the he and Ryan had each other back. They were a team, just like Geoff and Jack were a team and Michael and Gavin were a team too. Somehow it carried over to all of them looking out for each other. They were a Crew and despite the danger and chaos, Ray was grateful for it. Still, as Ryan walked away he found himself saying aloud the thought he had been sitting on since Michael’s heist.

“If I see a way out, I’m taking it,” Ray said. “Not…not like I’m going to die. But if I can get out, I will.”

“Yeah, Ryan replied, not turning around. “You probably wouldn’t be the only one either. See you tomorrow. Ray.”

Ray sighed heavily again and walked off into the fading daylight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait everyone! I was busy getting married. The updates will be much more frequent now so never fear! Also Ray and Ryan's heart-to-heart chat may seem a little random, but it will tie into future plans for this story. That and they have a cool bromance that I like to work with!


	20. Going Bongless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ray goes bongless and Jack critiques women's fashion.

“No herb, Ray?” Geoff asked suspiciously as they hit the streets. It was the day of the heist and Ray had been a bit stiff and standoffish. It wasn’t like him not to smoke before a job and it worried Geoff. The others noticed too and stopped walking to look back at Ray.

Ray sighed inwardly. So Ryan wasn’t the only one who was observant. He shrugged at his friends. “I dunno. I think…I’m going bongless on this one.” He thought for a minute and then glared at the group. “Don’t make that a shirt.”

“It’s already a shirt,” Michael joked as the others laughed. Ray’s witty sentences and crazed declarations during videos, podcasts, and even some of their jobs had the unfortunate (for Ray) habits of being made into to T-Shirts that were sold in the Rooster Teeth store.

Michael headed off to get the AH mobile while the Crew got up to their street side antics. It was almost tradition at this point. This time, Jack decided to move his car and ended up nearly slamming into the hapless Ryan, who somehow back flipped away and accidentally dropped a sticky bomb in the middle of the street. Geoff knocked Gavin over with his own bumper as he moved his truck and Gavin ran playfully at Ray, missed his dodge, and ended up accidentally punching Ray in the head.

“There’s the Achievement Hunter Mobile,” Ray said gratefully, rubbing his now sore head as Michael pulled up. The Crew piled in, Jack accidentally knocking Geoff off of the back of the car while he got in. Once everyone was finally in the car, or hanging off the side, Michael took off, following Ray’s directions to a nearby store.

“Remember, middle names from here on out,” Geoff remarked over the chatter as they drove. “Everyone refer to me as Lazer.”

“I’m TAFKAR,” Ray added.

“My name is David,” Gavin said.

“Shannon!” Jack said dramatically.

“Ryan is Ryan technically,” Gavin said, referring to the fact that Ryan’s real name was James and his middle name was Ryan.

“Nah it’s gonna be James,” Ray said. “Let’s not be bitches about it.” Ryan just laughed.

“I’m going call him Ryan,” Gavin muttered grumpily.

“Then you’ll be BitchFace McGillicuddy.,” Ray shot back.

“Just shoot him in the head,” Michael said to Ray, as Gavin sputtered indignantly.

“No, fuck that. W.A.F.F.L.E.-O.,” Ray replied. “We’re all friends, friends love each other.” He paused and added grumpily. “Two words, ‘each other.’”

“W.A.F.F.L.E.-O forever!” Ryan added with a grin.

“Shouldn’t there be a comma in there?” Gavin asked.

Ray resisted the temptation to roll down the window and elbow Gavin in the crotch. “You want to put a comma in my fucking acronym?”

Gavin opened his mouth to argue, but Michael, tired of their bickering already, talked over him. “So this is the last heist huh?” Instantly he regretted the words as a heavy silence fell.

He had addressed the elephant in the room. It was their last heist their last chance. If they failed this was it. Everything hinged on the pan, hence why Ray had tried to make it simple. Everyone had laughed and joked and listened to Rays; plan with grins and sarcasm, what they didn’t do was reveal how afraid they were.

Ray didn’t tell the others how he had gone home last night and called his family out of the blue, just to make sure he got to talk to them one last time, just in case things went bad.

Michael didn’t reveal that he and Lindsay had an emotional sort of goodbye last night and that they had both been afraid of what today would bring.

Jack didn’t talk about a similar goodbye he had with his wife or the fact that he visited his parents as well, just to reassure himself that there was a good memory to end on.

Gavin had gone immediately into the studio after the bathroom meeting, approached The Know set, and snogged the life out of Meg Turney, who he had been harboring a crazy crush on for the longest time. He used his fear at what lay ahead to motivate himself. Ever the optimist, Gavin asked her on a date and she agreed.

Ryan had gone home and spent time with his wife and kids. He hugged his children close and his wife and made sure they knew he loved them. He had to make sure they knew that the only way that he wouldn’t come back to them was if he had no other choice.

Geoff had spent half the night fighting for a back-up plan with Matt and Burnie and the other half with Griffon and Millie, cementing their getaway plan should they fail but Geoff survive. Geoff wasn’t sure if Matt would allow them one final chance if Ray’s plan failed. He wasn’t even sure if one final chance would save them. But what choice did he have?

“There a good chance,” Geoff said honestly. “A very good chance that Matt will give us one final shot, an opportunity to learn from these mistakes.” The group was silent. “Some good has come from all of this you know. We work more cohesively, our street cred has risen astronomically, we have netted some profit, and Matt is slightly less furious with us than he was a year ago.”

“Has it really been a year?” Jack asked wearily.

“Almost,” Geoff replied. “Look all I am saying is that this may not be the end so let’s keep the faith, yeah?”

The Fake AH Crew all agreed, but no one could shake the feeling that the end was coming.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
They pulled up to Ponsonby’s, the finest place for well…finery. Ray engage the sales clerk who took the boys in the back and showed them the line-up of different full suit sets and left them to browse.

“Um,” Jack said awkwardly, squinting to read the label on the first…suit he had found. “How about The Chica?” he held up a suit bag that had a pair of ladies Chinos and a thin white halter top. The others laughed.

“I’m kind of liking the red suit,” Ray said, showing off a blood red suit with white shirt that reminded them all strongly of a traffic light.

“How about the Smooth White suit?” Geoff said, yanking out a solid white suit with white shirt and tie.

“That’s not bad, but Smooth Black is better,” Michael said, showing a much more contrasting, and to his mind fashionable, black suit.

“I like the gray,” Ryan said, shrugging into a gray jacket and moving his arms around to check the fit.

“What the fuck?” Jack yelled. “What the fuck is this?” He held up yet another ladies’ suit labeled “The Aviator.” It contained aviator shades, a brown top hat, crap-brown capri pants, a maroon red vest with oddly-colored gray shirt and some kind of green polka dot scarf tie thing. The others laughed uproariously as Jack rolled his eyes and threw the suit back on the rack. “Am I on the wrong rack or something?!”

As one, the entire Crew looked up at the sign over Jack’s head that said very clearly “Women’s Suits.” They all looked back down at Jack and said in perfect unison. “nope.”

Jack looked up at the sign and then flipped off his gang mates. “Fuck you guys!”

They cracked up yet again and Ray’s eye was caught by another suit. Instantly he knew this was the one. “Ooh, guys I got it.” He held up a white suit with black lapels and trim and buttons. The shirt was white, it was made to be worn without a tie and even came with black shoes and a black belt. “Sharp White!”

The others nodded approvingly and set about finding their sizes. Once they were all dressed they departed for the mask store.

“We look like the Hives,” Ray said approvingly as they drove, looking around at his identically dressed friends. 

“We look fucking classy,” Michael added.

“We look like we are going to play the dance in Back to the Future,” Ryan mumbled. “Midnight Under the Sea.”

“Enchantment Under the Sea,” Jack corrected scathingly as the others scowled at Ryan’s mistake. “Come on, Ryan.” Ryan hung his head in shame. 

Back to the Future is sacred. You don’t get that shit wrong.

They moved on to the mask store, Ryan driving this time while they discussed the last heist. The spirited discussion distracted Ryan slightly and Ray, who was hanging off the side, found himself up close and personal with a street sign that took exception to his close relationship with the AH Mobile. He was ripped off of the car and bounced down the road and then had to dive backward as Ryan backed up and nearly mowed him down. Ray was not happy when they arrived at the mask store and Ryan kept apologizing profusely while complaining that it wasn’t his fault the car couldn’t corner worth a damn.

“It’s not meant for speed, it’s meant for style!” Michael snapped as they browsed the mask store. Ray determined that the Carbon mask series would be easiest since there were so many. After being masked up they also hit their usual Ammu-Nation. Ray made a joke about how the clerk probably knew them by name which Ryan took as a suggestion of murder.

“Ryan, you’re a creepy motherfucker,” Geoff said as Ryan finished his murder of the clerk and ran back to the group.

“What do we do now?” Michael asked.

“We split up and find a limo and a Cragobob,” Ray said, hopping down from the AH Mobile. “Let’s do it.”

They split up to do their jobs. As they went their separate ways, Ray caught Geoff giving him a concerned look. Ray knew what it meant. He wasn’t acting like himself and Geoff knew it. He was withdrawn, distracted, and not at all the Ray from the other jobs. Something had changed, had been changing and now Geoff was worried about Ray.

“I don’t know what’s up,” Geoff said carefully and not unkindly. “But you gotta get your head in the game. Don’t fuck this up. It will cost you more than money, it’ll cost your life. Let’s avoid that. You hear me?”

Ray rubbed his head wearily. He must not be doing a good job of faking it because that is exactly what Ryan had said to him. 

“I won’t slip up,” Ray said. “My head’s in this one.”

Geoff paused for a moment and shook his head before heading off into the night. Ray sighed because he couldn’t blame Geoff. 

He wouldn’t have believed himself either.


	21. No Brakes!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You'd think by now they would stop trying to hit armored trucks...

“I’ve got one right in front of me,” Michael announced as the sun rose over Mount Chiliad. They had searched throughout the night for an armored truck, obtaining their cargobob and Limo in the process. It had taken hours, but Michael finally saw one pulling out of the Maze Bank after loading the last of its pickup. They had seen others but after Ryan’s heist, they waited until they were absolutely sure there target had money.

 

“So what are we doing with the armored truck, Geoff?” Gavin aske from the cockpit of the cargobob he had unnecessarily procured. “Are we getting in it?”

 

Geoff rolled his eyes. “Yes. Then we’ll try to lose the wanted level and Jack is gonna pick us up and drop us in the train.”

 

 _Hopefully_ , Ray thought, gripping the steering wheel of his limousine with sweaty palms.

 

“You kill the guys then get in,” Michael corrected.

 

Gavin nodded forgetting no one could see him. “Do you think it would be cool Michael, if I parachuted in?”

 

“Absolutely!”

 

Ray groaned in everyone’s ear but Gavin and Michael ignored him.

 

“So after we get it on the train, we rob it, right Ray?” Geoff asked.

 

“Right,” Ray said. “Then ride the train to freedom.”

 

“We can shoot it open right?” Michael asked, Ryan’s heist vivid in his mind.

 

“YES!” Ray replied. “Yes, please shoot it open.”

 

Ryan grit his teeth. The dig was a little obvious.

 

“When we shoot it open,” Geoff added loudly. “When we’re shooting it open, nobody kill me.”

 

“ALMOST!” Ryan finally shouted, fed up with the unsaid implications. “I ONLY ALMOST KILLED YOU! YOU WERE FINE!”

There was a rather long pause after the outburst and Ray fought back an insane urge to giggle. “How about everyone stand back when you shoot it open?”

 

“Ok,” Gavin and Geoff agreed.

 

“So we’re all heading northbound right?” Jack said from his own cargobob, flying over the highway and into the city. He looked out of his window and saw a GPS ping on the cargobob dash from one of his friends being nearby. “Who’s that down on the ground?”

 

Ray peered up through the windshield and watched the cargobob fly overhead. From this distance he could just make out Jack behind the controls as he flew by, waving cheerily at Ray. Ray grinned and wave back. “Hi Jack!”

 

“Geoff are you in yet?” Michael asked. “I still have eyes on the target.”

 

“I’m here, Michael I’m right up your asshole,” Geoff said zooming down the road and coming up on Michael’s sleek silver car. The armored car was driving sedately in front of him, obliviously to its impending doom. Geoff pulled up behind Michael. “I have visual contact.”

 

“So when doe the heist start guys? Now?” Gavin asked.

 

“NO!” shouted everyone.

 

“We have to get the gunners in the chopper,” Jack snapped.

 

Michael decelerated and changed lanes, allowing Geoff to pull up closer to the truck. “Jack I am ready for pick up.”

 

“I’m going to parachute out and land on the truck,” Gavin said.

 

“Ok,” Michael and Ray said distractedly.

 

“BAIL!”

 

“Wait, now?” Ray shouted, looking up as though he would see Gavin from the distance.

 

“Is Gavin going?” Jack asked.

 

“We’re not even remotely prepped!” Ryan said, punching his dashboard in vexation.

 

“GAVIN!” Michael shouted. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” Michael pulled off to the side of the road just as a blue parachute burst into the sky. “You’re never even gonna reach the damn thing!”

 

“Oh I thought we were going…” Gavin said as he floated towards the PCH, the armored truck a white speck below him.

Ray let Gavin and Michael argue for about ten minutes, Geoff laughing and Ryan cursing and Jack trying to run interference. Ray drove for longer than he should have while beating his head on his steering wheel. Why did this always happen? Was it personality issues? Were they all really dumb at heart? Why did every damn one of them have the same complete inability to understand and follow the simplest of directions?

 

Well…Ray finally understood here Matt was coming from.

 

“Alright, alright, SHUT UP!” Ray roared, parking the limo deep in the woods. “Gavin, don’t land on the truck. Geoff pick him up. Jack, get Michael and Ryan in your helicopter. Odds are the damn driver will be on to something when Gavin parachutes into the middle of the fucking street so be careful.”

 

The Crew did as instructed, unaccustomed to Ray getting angry.

 

Gavin abruptly soared into sight for Geoff and Michael, his bright blue parachute stark against the sky and practically screaming “I’M HERE! LOOK AT ME!” Michael laughed hysterically and Geoff slowed to a stop so Gavin could ditch his parachute and climb into Geoff’s Bifta.

 

Ryan rolled his eyes as the armored car, Michael, and Geoff and Gavin all came into view. He looked around where they were and noticed one very important detail. “I feel I should point out that there are no train tracks anywhere near here.”

 

“We’ll fly to them,” Geoff replied simply.

 

Jack, Michael, and Gavin all collectively winced as they remembered their last cargobob and armored truck experience. They seemed to recall fiery explosions and then the sounds of complete and utter betrayal in the following heist.

 

Ryan flew alongside Michael for a moment, tracking his path before pulling off to the side to land. Just as he did, Jack glided overhead with a cheery hello, causing motorist all along the road to look up in wonder at the presence of two low flying helicopters.

 

“So there are two cargobobs, a guy landed with a parachute…” Gavin shook his head. “Does this look suspicious?”

 

“This looks ridiculous,” Michael corrected.

 

Ryan and Michael both stopped their vehicles off to the side and got out a Jack slowly descended. They ran to the chopper, Ryan flinging himself into the passenger seat of the cockpit leaving Michael to get in the back.

 

“Do I have hook duty again?” Michael shouted.

 

“Yes,” replied Jack, Ryan, and Ray in unison.

 

“Fuck you guys.” Michael hauled himself into the chopper.

 

“I am at the drop off point,” Ray said, the train tracks in his view.

 

“The chopper is full,” Jack confirmed as he lifted off the ground.

 

“Are we ready?” Geoff asked. “Ray call it.”

 

Jack swung into place behind the chopper as Ryan took out his assault rifle and moved from the passenger seat to the opposite side of the cargobob from Michael.

 

“Ok…ready?” Ray said, wiping the nervous sweat from his forehead. _One more job,_ he thought _. Just one more._

 

 Michael positioned himself by the hook with his gun also out, ready to drop with it and hook the cargo bob while also providing cover for Geoff and Gavin. Geoff pulled up in front of the armored truck, cutting the engine and prepping himself to jump out while Gavin loaded his pistol.

 

“Set…” _One more try._

Gavin and Geoff got out of the Bifta and turned on the truck. Michael and Ryan raised their guns. Jack’s hand hovered over the hook deploy button.

 

 _One last chance._ “GO!”

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

The driver of the Gruppe Sechs car looked up as a flash of blue caught his eyes. He blinked hard. Was that a guy in a suit parachuting into the middle of the road? He looked to his side at the cop in the passenger seat, who was busy taping away on his phone, not paying attention. The driver was relieved that cop were standard guard for their vehicles, especially after that incident with the cargobob and the Gruppe Sechs truck a few months ago, but he wished the cops took things more seriously. Rumored had it that a gang known as the Fake AH crew had been the one behind the truck lift back then so you would think the ride-along cops would be more vigilant. No such luck.

 

“Did you see that?” the driver asked.

 

The cop looked up, saw nothing and shrugged.

 

The driver nervously looked back out the window and drove on, but then he heard a weird sound. It sounded like a low flying plane or a…helicopter? He looked up as a military chopper flew past, flying almost level with their truck.

 

“What is that?”

The cop actually paid attention this time, and looked unimpressed but marginally more concerned. “Maybe a military patrol?”

 

The driver wipe nervous sweat from his brow. “That didn’t look like a military…is that another chopper?”

 

The cop turned as another chopper flew overhead, causing the other one to land. “How long has that Bifta been following us?” the cop asked. As if on cue, the car in question pulled up in front of them and off to a side. It idled there for a few minutes before two masked men got out and rounded on the truck.

 

“SHIT!” the driver yelled.

 

“Fuck!” the cop added. “Parachutes, masks, crazy helicopters, weird outfits. It’s definitely them. It’s the Fake—!”

 

The cop never told the driver what they were as his head exploded in a shower of meat and bone. The driver paled and looked back at the masked man who was leering outside his door. Without thinking the driver slammed his hand on the emergency locks, thinking to prevent them from hijacking his truck.

 

He forgot their attackers had guns.

 

The young man at his widow raised his gun and the driver swallowed hard. Yep. It was definitely the Fake AH Crew and he was definitely fucked.

 

That was his last thought before a bullet pierced his chest, slamming its way through his ribs and right into his heart.

  
“Geoff I can’t get in!” Gavin yelled, yanking on the door handle after he killed the driver. “I can’t get in!”

 

“Shoot the driver,” Michael shouted back.

 

“I did!” Gavin shouted back.

 

Ray saw a flash in the distance. At first he thought it was the setting sun reflecting off of the cars below—had they really wasted the whole day following the armored car around?—but the glint didn’t move quick enough. Ray picked up his sniper rifle as Gavin, Geoff, Michael, Jack and Ryan all yelled in his ear about Geoff and Gavin’s inability to get in the truck. Ray looked through the scope and swore loudly.

 

“Guys the train’s coming!” he yelled. “Get in the car!”

 

“It’s locked,” Geoff shouted, beating the door handle with his gun, hopping to break the lock. “I can’t get in!”

 

“Pick it up!” Ryan shouted. “Just pick it up!”

 

“I can’t get in!” Geoff wailed.

 

“We can’t, we have to drive it!” Michael replied.

 

“Fucking hell,” Jack growled as he slowly turned the chopper to face the dilema below him.

 

“I can’t get in!”

 

“Get in the truck!” Ray shouted as the train came closer.

 

“I CAN’T GET IN!”

 

“STOP SAYING THAT!” Michael roared. “Jack, lower the chopper, I’m gonna see if I can get in.”

 

“Geoff, Gavin, pull back!” Ray said.

 

Geoff and Gavin ran back to the Bifta as Jack swiftly lowered the cargobob and Michael hopped out. Gavin screamed as fuck ton of cargo bob missed hitting him in the head by inches. Michael sprinted to the truck and yanked hard on the door, which didn’t budge.

 

“Fuck this!” he shouted and shot the lock six times. There was a loud metallic crunching noise and the door handle flee off Michael yanked the door again and it opened. He flung himself in the truck and gunned the engine.

 

“I’m in!” Michael shouted. “Go!”

 

“Switch!” Ray said. “Geoff and Gavin get on him.”

 

“Get in your car and follow me!” Michael said, slamming into a tiny hybrid and sending it careening over the guardrail. “Oops!”

 

Sirens split the night air so quickly that Ray nearly laughed. The driver must have hit the emergency alarm that activated the locks and cop signal. Great. The train sailed past him at the same moment. They had started ten minutes ago and already they were fucked.

 

A police car zoomed past Geoff and Gavin and skidded to a halt. Two cops immediately dove out and started shooting at Michael’s tried, trying to slow him down.

 

“Oh no you don’t!” Geoff shouted. Gavin held on and Geoff slammed on the gas pedal, shooting off like a rocket and crashing into the police car and both police men. The passenger rolled away, but forgot the cliff and he screamed as he fell out of sight. The driver hit Geoff’s bumper with an audible snapping of his spine and went up and over the roll cage of the Bifta.

 

“I got the drive, GO!” Geoff shouted as he reversed and sped after Michael.

 

“Come on Jack,” Ryan said, signaling to Jack to go, “We’ve got to cover them!”

 

“Which side are you on, right or left?” Jack asked.

 

“Left!” Ryan said and Jack shifted their path so Ryan could cover Michael and the others.

 

“A train just passed by me so things just got more difficult,” Ray announced to mixed (and angry) reactions.

 

More police cars came at them and bullets pinged off of the armored car. Michael swore and weaved in and out of the now stopped traffic, trying to lose some of the heat. “Shannon, I could use a pick up!”

 

Ryan looked back at the long line of police cars speeding toward them and then looked back at how slow the armored car really was. The law enforcement response was even heavier this time, likely because they knew they had cargo in the truck. Ryan mentally kicked himself for his own job. The slower police response should have tipped him off to the fact that they had lifted an empty trick.

 

“We have to pick him up!” Ryan said.

 

Jack grit his teeth. He was not looking forward to that attempt. “Shit. Ok. First get that chopper out of the air?”

 

“Chopper?” said Ryan, Michael, Gavin, and Geoff. A split second latter a police helicopter sailed past, its spotlight nearly blinding Michael.

 

“Gavin shoot!” Geoff commanded. “Michael we gotta get off the main road!”

 

“I need an evac!” Michael yelled as stopped cars brought him to a crawl. The chopper was able to focus on the slow truck and more police men began to fill the streets. Ryan and Gavin focused their fire on the chopper and Michael tried maneuver his car around an upcoming sharp turn. He failed but was able to get past a road block of cars when he saw something else in his way.

 

“Shit, there’s a tunnel!” he shouted. “I need pick-up before the tunnel.”

 

“Gavin shoot!” Geoff yelled again. “What are you doing?”

 

“I’ve got a bloody pistol,” Gavin shot back. “It’s hard!”

 

“Just pick him up!” Ray demanded of Jack. “Pick him up!”

 

 

“FINE!” Jack yelled. “Ryan get on the hook!” Jack lowered the chopper so that it was barely two feet above Michael and slammed the deploy button. Ryan didn’t even bother trying to grab the rope, he jumped out of the chopper and staggered into a landing on the hood of the truck, grabbing the hook as it clanged on the roof. He wrapped it hastily around the roof rack and jumped up to garb the rope. “We’ve got it, go!” he yelled to Jack. He shimmied his way back up into the chopper and resumed his post at the door.

 

The armored truck shudder and Jack pulled the controls back. Lifting Michael clear of the road. Michael whopped as he swung and the choppers and ground forces instead switched their fire to the chopper.

 

“Shit, I’m getting hit!” Ryan said, ducking as a slug grazed him. “Jack, get away! Geoff get out of there!”

 

“Ryan hang on!” Ray shouted.

 

The chopper turned sharply and Ryan staggered. He seized the door frame as he stumbled out of the chopper, dangling above the road. “Jack wait—!”

 

It happened so fast that to this day no one really knows what happened. Ryan looked down, trying to find something—anything—for his feet to get purchase on so he could get back in the chopper. He could hear the guys screaming in the background, hear the gunfire ringing as it hit the chopper around his head. The chopper roared in his ear and suddenly a spot light hit him in the face.

 

They hadn’t shot the chopper’s gunner. The gunner must have shot Ryan. Or maybe one of the ground forces did. Maybe the spotlight blinding him and caused his grip to go lax or maybe he just couldn’t hold on anymore. The only thing Ryan knew was that the world went white and suddenly he was falling. He slammed hard into something, felt his body catapult through the air, heard a horrible crunching noise and then…nothing.

 

Michael yelped as something crashed against his roof and then, almost as if it was happening in slow motion, he saw Ryan’s masked face fly past the windshield, his limbs flailing, his body tumbling crazily. Ryan rolled off the hood and disappeared.

 

“OH MY GOD—AHHHHHHHH!”

 

“I LOST RYAN—AHHHHHHH!”

 

The momentum from the turn of the chopper and the weight of the truck worked against them. The chopper took a nose dive, flinging the truck sideways and dragging it across the ground with a horrible scraping noise. Geoff and Gavin turned sharply to avoid getting flattened and found themselves racing into the hills till yelling for both Ryan and the truck. Ray was shouting Ryan’s name and Jack and Michael screamed and hung on.

 

Then the rope snapped with a whip-cracking sound and the armored truck rolled crazily, jostling Michael until it miraculously landed on four wheels. Jack pulled the choppers controls back and streaked upward, hastily righting himself before he could crash.

 

“What happened?” Ray yelled.

 

“I lost the truck!” Jack shouted. “I lost the truck and we lost Ryan!”

 

“I saw his fucking corpse going flying out the helicopter,” Michael cried hysterically. “He rolled off my hood, it was awful and amazing!”

 

“God damn it!” Ray shouted, slamming his fist into the steering wheel so hard that he broke the horn. Everyone flinched as the horn blared without pause by Ray quickly yanked out his pistol and shot the steering wheel twice, silencing the damn thing.

 

“I have no guns and no way to pick Michael up!” Jack announced, keeping pace with the truck as they moved the opposite way down the highway.

 

“Geoff go back!” Gavin shouted. Geoff turned and they careened down the hill rolling in the Bifta until they hit the road.

 

“We’re coming back for the rescue!”

 

“All right” Ray said angrily, gunning the engine and starting off down the road. “Fuck the train. I am coming to get you.”

 

“We go this, Geoff said as he and Gavin blew by the cars and the insanity. They had to get this. Ryan was down, but they would worry about that later. He hadn’t been that far off the ground so he probably survived…maybe. They’ worry when it was time to worry.

 

“Dude, I am killing cops with explosives,” Michael said, chucking a grenade out his window and wincing as gas and metal rained in through his shattered window. “I seriously need and evac!”

 

“TAFKAR,” Jack said as he tried desperately to straighten his flight path. “TAFKAR we need you.”

 

“The getaway cart’s on its way,” Ray said.

 

A police chopper swerved mid-air to try and hit Jack. They were not playing around this time. The cargobob, already strained from the business with the armored truck, was starting to smoke and the bells and whistles started to shriek from the various sensors. This was just like last time. Jack kicked that thought away as he turned to avoid a collision and found himself heading straight for the powerlines.

 

“Oh shit I’m going down!” he yelled, panicking for a moment. “I’m gonna blow up!”

 

“Don’t blow up!” Ray yelled back, cutting through Jack’s knee-jerk reaction. “Abandon ship if anything.”

 

Jack dragged on the controls, shelving his anxiety. Who knew jail time and near death experiences could add up after a while? He managed to straighten his vehicle and tried to follow the others, gun fire and enemy helicopters blocking his every turn.

 

“There’s another cargobob right here!” Michael yelled suddenly, flying past Ryan’s cargo bob from earlier. “We just drove past James!”

 

“Never forget!” Ray yelled, bouncing off the road and up into the woods again, trying a shortcut. The limo was not made for speed or efficiency and he was still miles from where they needed him.

 

“Wait, where’s James?” Gavin asked confused as they drew near the chopper.

 

“He’s dead as dicks!” Michael reminded him, throwing another grenade out of his window and relishing the resultant explosion and screams. The street was so thick with cops now that it was a wonder he was somehow plowing through. Above him he got flashes of the chopper as Jack bobbed, weaved, and smoked above him. The Bifta was right on top of him, but it was all Geoff and Gavin could do to keep pace and avoid being shot.

 

The Gavin had an idea.

 

“Let’s get this one Geoff!” he shouted. “Let’s get in this cargbob.”

 

“My name’s not Geoff,” Geoff said, but he pulled alongside the cargobob anyway.

 

Gavin rolled his eyes. “Lazer, let’s go.”

 

Gavin and Geoff dove out of the Bifta, but unfortunately, this made them a prime target for gun fire. Geoff ducked and raced for the chopper. They were so close, he had to get there. He jumped into the door, the leather seat within his grasp, Gavin a beat behind him going for the pilot’s seat.

 

Gavin heard Geoff cry out in what he thought for a minute was triumph. Then Geoff jerked sideways and fell into Gavin’s lap and Gavin found himself looking though blood on the windshield as more poured into his lap from Geoff’s shoulder, staining their white suits.

 

“Lazer?!” Gavin squawked in panic, frantically shoving at Geoff, trying to wake him up. His mask was askew and his eyes were closed and he was not moving an inch. “LAZER?! GEOFF?! ANSWER ME! GEOFF!?”

“Geoff?” Ray croaked nervously, not liking the extremely panicked screeches coming from Gavin. Gavin would frequently lose his head, true, but something in his voice was terrifying.

“What happened to Geoff?”  Michael demanded.

“Gavin, get Michael, we’ll get to Geoff as soon as we can,” Ray ordered.

“Lazer’s gone quite next to me!” Gavin wailed. He shook Geoff again, Geoff’s head flopping like a rag dolls. Geoff couldn’t be dead. He was right behind him. He had been in the chopper. Gavin hadn’t even seen the shot. Geoff wasn’t dead, he had to live so Gavin could torment him endlessly. Sure, they had thought he was dead plenty of time before, but now he was in Gavin’s lap, bleeding and not moving, the chopper reeking of the scent of his blood--

“Gavin, boy, I need you to come get me!” Michael said, more than a little upset at his friend’s panic. Geoff was ok. He had to be. Right?

Geoff couldn’t be dead.

“GAVIN HELP!” Michael screamed as he was slammed into from the side by an overzealous police officer. He slowed to a crawl, cops closing in. “GAVIN!”

If anyone could get through Gavin’s panic, it was Michael. Geoff was in trouble, but Gavin couldn’t leave Michael in danger. Gavin took a deep breath and carefully picked Geoff up and shoved him back into the passenger seat. He ripped his own jacket off and tied it as tight as he could around Geoff’s torso. A red patch slowly appeared, but it didn’t appear to be gushing so Gavin fired up the chopper. The second he picked Michael up, he was dropping him at Ray’s location and getting Geoff help.

Jack swore loudly in everyone’s ear, reminding them all that there was another dangerous chase going on in the air. Jack was being just as heavily pursued as Michael and his poor cargobob was showing it.

“Is the other cargobob up?” Jack asked frantically.

“There’s one right behind me!” Michael reported as Gavin flew into view.

“Jack get out!” Ray ordered.

“OH NO!”

Jack’s yell broke out over all the other shouts. In his dodge around yet another police helicopter, he had swung too wide. The tail end of his cargo bob snagged on the power lines, ripping them free in a shower of sparks. He managed to keep the chopper airborne but he was quickly losing altitude.

“This is it!” Jack shouted. “I’m jumping out. I’m jumping out.” The chopper sputtered again and Jack gave up.  He abandoned the cockpit, kicking open his door and grabbing his chute as the cargo bob fell. He jumped, the cargobob plummeting past him. He grappled for his rip cord. He wasn’t going to make it! He yanked the cord and felt the chute fan out behind him. He was just in time—

WHAM!

“Jack!” Michael screamed as Jack hit the ground face first in a shower of dirt behind him. “Jack’s down, I repeat, Jacks’ down!”

“Shannon!” Ray cried helplessly. No one had time to mourn him though, the other were trapped in a war zone. Ray floored the gas pedal, bring the limo up to 80 but the car just wasn’t fast enough.

 

More police cars were swarming around Michael like a horde of angry bees, cutting him off and slowing him down while they tried to box him in. Michael tried to dodge around them but a large squad car managed to wedge itself between him and a stalled vehicle. Michael watched in panic as the speedometer plummeted and the armored truck ground to a halt.

“Oh this might be it. This it boys!” Michael said as cops slammed into him in the front and back. “I’M BOXED IN! I’M BOXED IN! NO!”

“I’m coming Michael!” Gavin yelled.

“Noooooo!” Michael screamed as a cop car came at him full speed. The armor on his truck was failing, the cops were abandoning vehicle and firing into the busted windows. He wasn’t going to get out of this. He hit the floorboards just as the oncoming squad car crashed into his side and exploded.

The explosion shattered the windshield and actually lifted the armored truck up off its front wheels and threw it sideways before it slammed back down onto all four wheels. Michael was flung back against the seat and landed painfully on the dashboard, the drive shaft jabbing him in the ribs. He didn’t have time to worry about that because the truck had broken through the road block and there was an opening ahead of him. He floored the gas.

“Michael! I’m coming boy!” Gavin’s chopper spun and dipped and swerved as no less than two police choppers and 50 million cops on the ground concentrated fire on him.

“Fuck yooooooooou!” Michael whopped blowing past the cops triumphantly.

“Are you still alive boy?” Gavin asked.

“I’m still in the truck, COME GET ME!” Michael shouted at Gavin, his words running together in his anger.

“Save Vincent!” Ray yelled.

“Michael! Where’s the truck?!” Gavin cried again as the road spun in his windshield.

“It’s the big fucking truck!” Ray shouted furiously. “What are you, blind?!”

“IT SAYS FUCKING GRUPPE ON IT, OKAY?!” Michael screeched. “Holy shit, it’s the one with all the money in it!”

Gavin finally saw the truck. He wheeled the chopper around. He had no idea how he was going to hook the car. He couldn’t. But if Michael could get the money, he could drop the hook and pull up Michael.

“Michael boy I’m coming!” Gavin yelled, pulling alongside the truck and dropping the hook.

Michael looked up to see Gavin next to him, the hook dangling right next to the armored truck. He reached for the door handle when the buzz of another helicopter sounded from behind him and he turned to see a police helicopter streaking through the air towards him Michael yelled and ducked, flattening himself against the seat and bracing for impact, but the chopper wasn’t aiming for the truck.

“Michael—AAAAAAHHHHHH!

The police chopper crashed into Gavin’s cargobob. Ray and Michael heard Gavin scream in one high unbroken note as the persistent police helicopter forced the cargobob onto its side in mid-air and crushed it against the guard rail of the bridge. Gavin screamed and screamed and screamed as it tipped over, blades still whirring, the readouts and alarms going insane. Geoff’s limp and bloodied body fell into him and tumbled out of the open chopper door. Gavin just managed to grab Geoff’s wrist before the helicopter suddenly jolted and flipped entirely upside down, dumping both Gavin and Geoff out. They had barely cleared it when the cargobob blew, the force of the explosion blasting Gavin and Geoff into the water and rocks below.

“David?” Ray asked meekly. “David? Shannon?”

“Dude we’re all that’s left!” Michael replied.

“Who’s left?” Ray asked, not quite clear on how the whole gang was wiped out in less than ten minutes.

“Me and you, that’s it!” Michael said. “I’ve got the armored car, we’ve got no one dude.”

Ray carefully drove across a wooden bridge continuing his route through the woods while guilt began to eat him alive. His plan had been very basic, but it had been sloppy. Too much hinged on the cargobobs and once again he was on the sidelines doing nothing while the rest of them died. Or more likely went quiet only to pop up later.

“Ok,” he finally said to Michael. “Ok. I’m driving right to you. We’re still gonna escape in style. Did you get the money yet?”

“I have the fucking truck, the money’s inside of it,” Michael whimpered as he swerved around another cop. How were they going to get the money out? “And I do not think I am losing this police tail any time soon. I’m gonna need a serious evac here.”

“That’s fine,” Ray replied bracingly. “I’m in the back woods right now.”

“The only other option is if we abort the plan,” Michael said, already forming a plan in his head. “We can try to hop out, detonate the truck, get the money and haul off in a different vehicle--“

“Do that!” Ray said. That was a great plan!

“—but I need you to pick me up first because I have no armor and no fucking tires,” Michael finished lamely.

So not a great plan.

“I’m on my way,” Ray replied. “It’s ok though, they’ll never expect a limo.”

“I’m getting boxed in again!” Michael said, turning the steering wheel as cops surrounded him again. “Oh I’m getting boxed in again!”

Don’t get boxed in!” Ray said as he listened to Michael struggle. “Don’t get boxed in, think outside the box!”

“I made it!” Michael said, breaking out and swerving down the road. His tired were gone and his car was dented. Gavin’s chopper may or may not have bounced off the roof before it crashed and there was a smear of blood on the windshield from the dead driver and cop and an even longer one from Ryan bouncing off of the hood. It was hard to see, hard to drive, and hard to avoid the very persistent and suddenly talented cops.

Ray’s teeth clacked as the limo bounced through the woods. He was getting near the end and he had to hurry and get to Michael. “A limo is not good for the back woods of Los Santos,” Ray informed Michael.

“Fucking shit,” Michael replied with a laugh, He looked in his rearview mirror and saw nothing but red and blue lights, “I have the entire fucking police force up my asshole.”

“It’s all right, it’s cool. I’ll pay them off. They’ll forget any of this ever happened.”

Michael thought about the chopper sitting on the side of the road as well as the bodies and burning wreckage left in the wake. Yeah sure. They’ll forget.

“Ugh this is getting really dicey,” he grunted as tow cop cars and a few SWAT vans forced him to turn onto a side road. He palmed another grenade and chucked it out the shattered window behind him. He ducked as fire, glass, and metal exploded behind him, pieces flying in through the completely absent windows and windshield.

“Ok I’m on the highway, where are you?” Ray asked, bouncing down the hills and onto to wonderfully solid asphalt.

“I don’t know,” Michael replied as two helicopter spotlights pegged him. The armored truck was struggling on the curvy, slightly uphill road he was one. He wondered if the cops had forced him here intentionally because he seemed to be more surrounded and less able to maneuver. “ARGH, I’m completely stalled right now! This is bad, this is bad—this thing is barely moveable!”

“Don’t die!” Ray said, flooring the gas and moving much faster now that he was on the road. “If you die, which you won’t, I’m still gonna hit that.” He was starting to think that maybe they’d make it. True, they would still have to go retrieve the bodies—no. No, Ryan, Geoff, Gavin, and Jack were ok. They had to be. He couldn’t face the alternative, not when they were so close to victory.

Suddenly Michael felt something his shoulder. He looked down and was surprised to see blood blooming across his vest. The pain followed as soon as he saw the wound.

“Oh shit!” he screamed, starting to weave the truck as more bullets ringed around them and buried themselves in the dashboard and seat. These were SWAT rounds, made to pierce what little protection he had. Not only did the vans behind him have them but thunks on the roof told him the choppers did as well as the shots started piercing the armored truck.

“These SWAT pricks are taking me down!” he yelled to Ray, trying to get around a bend in the road. “This might be it! I think this might be it!”

“Get out!” Ray shouted. “Defend yourself!”

“Oh shit I have no fucking cover at all!”

“I’m coming! The cavalry is coming. The one man cavalry!”

Michael finally made it around the bed and was met with the most horrible sight he could possibly have imagined. In front of him was a neat and orderly line of soldiers with high powered assault rifles aimed at him. Behind them was a tank and behind all of that was the razor wire fences and entry gate for the base.

No wonder the cops had forced his truck this way. They were ready for him.

Michael’s mouth hung open for a second and he slowed to a dead stop, wedging himself between the entry gate and one of the concrete lane divider. The soldiers took aim before Michael found his voice.

“OH SHIT I DROVE TO THE MILITARY BASE!” he screamed. “OH SHIT!”

“WHY?!” Ray yelled back, throwing his hands up in the air in fury, but quickly returning them to the steering wheel so he didn’t meet a crash-y end. “GOD DAMN IT! Of all the places to drive! Do you want to drive to the prison next?”

“I’m boxed in!” Michael yelled. “This is it.” He scrambled for his bag and dumped the contents out garbing every grenade and C4 he had. He knew he was done. But he’d be damned if he’d go out like a bitch.

“I’m taking as many cops with me as I can!” Michael screamed and he started throwing explosives out of the window. “You’re coming with me mother fuckers!”

Cops and cars and soldiers were engulfed by the explosions, but not enough. Everyone who could opened fire on the truck as Michael screamed his fury. The last thing Ray heard through his head set was a rain of gunfire and Michael’s scream abruptly cutting off.

Ray was all that was left.

“FUCK!” he shouted. “Hello?”

Silence.

Ray sighed heavily. So much for his safe, unflashy plan. He had gotten them all more killed than Gavin had. Matt was not going to like this. Still, he could buy his way out of the Syndicate now since he didn’t have to split the money with anyone. He would buy his freedom and then hole up somewhere and stone himself into a coma. It was the least he could do for his friends.

Fucking W.A.F.F.L.E.-O.

“All right,” he said to himself. “It’s up to me know. I got this.” He kept driving down the road, starting to pass signs of the carnage in the road. He must be close to the base. “Fucking the military base, are you kidding me?” he grumbled to Michael, even though he had gone quiet. “You had the whole city.” Ray shook his head and kept going. “One man show. This is what you wanted TAFKAR, you’ve trained for this.” Ok maybe that wasn’t true. He never wanted to be the last one. It was hard to believe they were all dead, considering their track record of miraculous survivals. He would worry about that later.

He turned off on the side road the cops had forced Michael down, following the bright lights and still circling choppers. He rounded the bend same as Michael and saw a few cops and soldiers rushing around, pulling their fellows from wreckage that Michael must have caused. No one saw the limo pull up behind the armored truck.

Ray cut the engine and reached for the door handle when something gave him pause. He saw a flash of white out of the corner of his eye. He looked up and saw what looked like a man in a white suit and face paint standing there. But as soon as he looked it vanished. The only thing he saw now was an unmarked police SUV.

Ryan?

“Apparently I’m seeing ghosts,” Ray muttered, He grabbed his rocket launcher, mostly to ensure he would break the truck wide open. What was the point in leaving it to chance now?

“Ok, plan is blow it open, take the money, back to limo.”

Then find out if his Crew was dead.

Ray sighed and leveled his rocket launcher. He had a quick thought that maybe he stood to close but he shrugged it off and pulled the trigger.

THUNK!

“OH GOD!”

Something slammed into Ray, lifting him off his feet and slamming him into the ground so hard that his vision went back. Heat from the explosion washed over him and bits of it rained down on him. He gasped for breath and found himself unable to move or breathe,

He had stood too close.

No wait. Something was on him, pinning him to the ground and crushing his chest. He shoved at it, expecting part of the truck or something more solid but instead it was sort of soft and as soon as he touched, it it moved. The weight vanished and he dragged breath into his desperate lungs. His vision cleared a bit and he looked up into a blood streaked face with remnants of face paint around it.

“Ryan?” Ray choked out.

“Come on,” Ryan said, grabbing Ray and hauling him to his feet He dragged Ray over to the unmarked SUV the boy had noted a few second ago and opened the back door, shoving Ray insides. Ray sputtered and choked as Ryan ran around—or more accurately limped—and slid in behind the driver’s seat. Ray slumped sideways and fell into something else, something that swatted him away like he was a bug.

“Jack?” Ray said sitting up as Jack winced and coughed, holding his ribs. His glasses were gone and his beard was matted with blood. Both eyes were black and his nose was extremely crooked, clearly broken.

“Hang on,” Ryan said. He backed the SUV up swung it around, driving back the way they had all came. Ray and Jack bounced around in the back seat and a muffled curse from the front seat grabbed Ray’s attention.

“You want to drive a little smoother, you fuck?”

“Michael?” Ray said, leaning forward to look at a bloody and pale Michael curled in the front seat, glaring back at him.

“Congrats, you know our names!” Ryan said sarcastically. “Everyone just hang on, we have to go to a hospital.”

“They’ll turn us over!” Ray protested.

“Jacks’ nose and ribs are broken, Michael is bleeding a fuck ton, my leg is fucked, and God only knows how severe a concussion everyone has,” Ryan snapped. “We don’t have a choice. We’ll just tell them we were in one of the many cars blown up in the fray. I know an ER that won’t ask a lot of questions.”

“Do we know what happened to Gavin and Geoff?” Ray asked suddenly, remembering Gavin’s shrieks.

“We couldn’t find them,” Jack said. “Ryan picked me up and he checked the river bed before we came after you and Michael. There was no sign of them.”

“God damn it.” Ray buried his head in his hands.

“They may have gotten out,” Ryan said. “Gavin may have hauled Geoff off to get help somewhere.”

 _Or their dead bodies washed downstream, never to be seen again,_ everyone thought but didn’t dare say out loud.

Michael chose that moment to groan loudly in pain.

“Hang on everyone, we're heading for the hospital.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Oh god!” shrieked the nurse as the Fake AH Crew limped in. Ray was supporting Michael, who was no longer bleeding but was scarily pale. Jack and Ryan leaned on each other as they hobbled in. Their once were white suits were coated in grime and blood and they all looked like death warmed over.

“Get them in a room now,” the nurse directed some orderlies, who rushed forward with wheelchairs. She motioned to Ray to come over after he deposited Michael in a chair since he was the least injured.

“You just be the rest of the band,” the nurse said. “Terrible business with that gang stuff on the highway. All the hospitals are overrun.”

“Band?” Ray asked, confused.

“Top Fun Times?” she asked. “That band? Two of your band mates came in earlier, one quite critical. They are both going to be fine though. The band leader, the British guy, he warned us you weren’t far behind.”

Ray couldn’t help it. He laughed. The nurse stared at him mystified until he got control of himself.

“Yes,” Ray finally said. “Yes we are that band. What info do you need from me and can you show me where our friends are?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the video, Gavin bounces off of the armored truck and crashes his chopper that way. I changed it for dramatic effect...and to minimize how stupid Gavin can be sometimes.


	22. On Your Knees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Matt give the Crew another chance? Will they be able to convince him? Will Burnie have to kill them all? Will Michael pass out? Tune in to find out!

Ray sped down the hallway of the trauma ward, looking in rooms as he passed, ignoring one or two indignant squawks as he peered in doorways. What the fuck room number did that nurse say Geoff was in? He had been hauled off to be examined for an hour before the doctor deemed him ok to leave and in that time he had forgotten Geoff’s room number.

“God damn it Geoff, where are you?” he muttered under his breath.

He rounded the corner and stopped. There was a man in a bloodstained suit sitting in the hallway, hands on his knees and his head down.

“Gavin!”

Gavin’s head shot up and he grinned in relief as he saw a bandaged Ray heading toward him. He jumped to his feet and the two exchanged a manly hug before Ray punched Gavin in the shoulder.

“OW! Christ, what did you do that for?” Gavin yelped.

“Top Fun Times?” Ray said disparagingly.

Gavin just grinned. “It worked didn’t it?”

“Not really dude. The only reason it worked is because there are a bunch of other people that got hurt in the process.” Ray punched his shoulder again. “You suck.”

“You suck too.”

They grinned tiredly at each other before Ray jerked his head at the closed door to what he guessed was Geoff’s room.

“Is he in there?”

Gavin rolled his eyes. “Yeah. He kicked me out because he thinks it’s my fault he got shot.”

Ray laughed. “So he’s gonna be ok?”

Gavin nodded. “He had some internal bleeding they had to fix, but he’s all right. He broke his wrist when he fell out of the chopper though. He’ll have to be in a brace for six weeks.”

“Ryan fractured his leg,” Ray said. “He’ll be out that long too. Jack too. His nose got re-set but he broke three ribs. Michael had to be stitched up in five places.”

Gavin swore. “That’s a long time between jobs. Think Matt will give us that long?”

“I think we’ll be lucky if we even get another chance,” Ray said. “We’ll have to beg.” 

“Geoff can’t leave til tomorrow and we need to go see Matt as soon as possible,” Gavin said. “What do we do?”

“They’re not holding any of the others except Michael. But technically they can just leave. What are the nurses gonna do?”

“Strap him down?” Gavin guessed.

Ray laughed. “Maybe. But anyway, Jack says we’ll have to go before Matt ourselves. Without Geoff.”

“Christ alive” Gavin muttered.

“I’m gonna see if he’ll talk to me,” Ray said. “The others will be up here soon I’m guessing. Michael is still in the ER if you wanna go find him.”

“Cheers Ray,” Gavin said before heading off in search of his best friend.

Ray opened the door behind him and stepped into Geoff’s room. Geoff was sitting up in his bed, looking up at the ceiling. He was shirtless, his shoulder covered in bandages, his face bruised, and looking all in all like hell. His eyes were closed, but as the door shut behind Ray, Geoff scowled without opening his eyes.

“Fuck off Gavin,” he snapped.

“Come on Geoff, my nose is waaaaaaay smaller,” Ray said with a crooked smile.

Geoff cracked one eye, looked at Ray then closed it again. “Fuck,” he breathed. “Did we get the money? Did you pull it off?”

Ray cringed. “Ah...no. I blew up the money by accident. We only barely escaped with our lives.”

Geoff sighed heavily, wincing as his stitched pulled. Another empty hand. Was it even possible that Matt would give them the final job he had promised? Was it even worth it?

“You want out don’t you?” Geoff asked Ray.

Ray shifted uncomfortably. He did want out but after everything that had gone down today, he was no longer sure. He wanted the fear gone. He wanted his friends back without the strain Matt forced on him. He wanted to do what he loved--violence and video games--without the pressure.

“I want things to make sense again,” Ray replied honestly. “I want us to be who we were before Matt started breathing down our god damn necks.”

Geoff couldn’t fault him for that. He wanted the same thing.

“Get Jack and the rest in here, those who can,” Geoff said. “Matt was open to one last job, we’ll have to see if that holds true.”  
“You got it boss,” Ray said, turning to go.

“Ray,” Geoff said before the younger man left. Ray paused and looked back at Geoff who was looking at him more seriously than he ever had before. “If we pull off this last job, we’ll be in the clear. And even if we aren’t, i promise I’ll put us back right, ok?”

Ray looked at him for a moment and nodded. “Sure thing Geoff.”

Neither of them liked the “if” in that sentence.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Are you sure you should be here?” Gavin asked Michael.

“Fuck you,” Michael snarled, glaring up at Gavin. He was bent halfway over, clutching his aching torso as he perched on the wall to avoid falling over. He was pale and sweating and wanted more than anything close his eyes and fall in a heap on the floor but he couldn’t. He had to stand firm. He had to have his crew’s back.

“20 bucks says he drops before this is over,” Ray said.

“I’ll take that action,” Jack replied, his voice muffled by his taped nose. “He’s got that stupid stubbornness, don’t forget.”

Ryan looked at Michael appraisingly. “I’ve never seen some turn grey before. 20 on passing out.”

“When you’ve all finished decided whether he will deck out or not!” Gavin said grumpily. He scowled and the others looked marginally embarrassed. “20 quid says he stays standing.”

“Quid better mean dollars,” Ray snapped.

“You guys suck,” Michael grumbled.

The door in front of them swung open and Burnie Burns stepped into the hallway. To the average person. Burnie looked non-threatening and generally was. He wore a normal nerdy T-shirt, jeans, and glasses. He had a beard and something of a gut and looked like the friendly dad next door, which he was.

He was also the Syndicate’s executioner and the most lethal man in Rooster Teeth next to Gus.

“Hey guys,” he said. Jack winced. He didn’t sound happy but he also didn’t sound cold. When he went cold it was time to worry, but this middle ground sounded equally bad. “Matt’s ready to see you.”

“On a scale of 1 to 10, how dead are we?” Gavin asked. He and Burnie went way back, Gavin having been friends with Burnie for years, since he was a teenager. Only Gavin could get away with directly asking such questions while being on thin ice.

Well the rest could technically, they just feared the answers more than Gavin did.

Burnie rolled his eyes. “Just get in there and don’t fuck around ok?”

Jack took a deep breath and walked into the office behind Burnie, the rest of the crew following him. Michael hobbled like a hunchback for a few steps, took a deep breath and straightened, wincing and putting a hand to his side.

As soon as they were all in, Burnie shut the door behind them and they faced their boss.

Matt also had the dad look going, from the bald plate to the wire frame glasses and the cheerful looking face. He was a nice guy, funny and a generous boss. Yet underneath it all was the calculating coldness that made him shrewd businessman and a feared crime lord. Matt the Rooster Teeth CEO was a great guy. Matt the Syndicate leader was hell on earth. 

One look from him told you exactly where you stood and you were either in or out in his eyes. The fact that Jack couldn’t figure out which it was this time scared him more than the blood splattered bills that were scattered on Matt’s desk.

“I had Kerry retrieve your take from the last job,” Matt said, gesturing to the bills. “The sum was disappointing.”

Ryan eyeballed the stack of bills. It looked to total roughly one or two thousand. “Better than we thought,” he said. He didn’t fear Matt, but neither would he flat out tell him to go fuck himself. He knew how to play it.

Matt nodded. “True. Or it would be if I hadn’t combine the money from all of your recent jobs to the 20 dollars in confetti Kerry handed over.”

Crap.

“Geoff asked for one more chance to prove your aren’t a bunch of idiots,” Matt said mildly. “But if this is the result of chance after chance--.”

“Then you are forgetting your terms.”

Everyone looked up at Ray who was glaring down Matt with unexpected ferocity. Matt raised his eyebrows mildly and considered Ray for a minute. The tense silence following Ray’s words stretched like a rubber band, ready to snap at any moment.

“What am I forgetting?” Matt finally asked calmly, even interestedly.

“The deal was that we bring in more revenue and up our street cred so we stop making the syndicate look bad. We’ve accomplished half of that with flying colors.”

“I don’t deal in halfway,” Matt pointed out. The gang except Ray shifted nervously.

“Well then maybe you should get Gus in here and crunch some fucking numbers for you since you clearly don’t ‘deal’” Ray threw up sarcastic quotation marks “either, We brought in what last year? Two three hundred dollars?” How much is in front of you?”

“About two grand,” Ray piped up when Matt didn’t answer.

“So six times our take from last year if you count bail money,” Jack said, catching on to Ray’s point. “Add that to the fact that the police don’t laugh at us and people are afraid to go out at night because they are terrified of getting blown up by the Fake AH Crew.”

“Look around, we’ve got this town running scared,” Ray said angrily. “So I suggest you back the fuck off of us and let us work because we sure as shit will fail if you keep breathing down our necks lie a god damn mother fucking hen.”

Out in the hall, Burnie thumped his head against the door. Great. Now he was going to have to shoot Ray. No one talked to Matt like that.

Matt was caught between surprise and annoyance, never a good combination. But Ray’s words had embolden the gang. Ray was ready to start swinging and Matt knew the others would be right behind him. He couldn’t let Ray get away with such blatant disrespect, but there was wisdom in what he said.

“Matt, Geoff deserves another chance even if we don’t,” Jack added. “He has never wavered in his commitment to you and the Syndicate or to us. We have tried, but probably not hard enough. Give us one more chance to prove we can do it. We owe Geoff if nothing else and I guarantee you we’ll pull through.”

Matt considered them all for a moment, looking at each one of them and lingering on Ray for a long moment. Then he sighed heavily.

“You have met half of the deal,” Matt said. “You get one chance to meet the other half. I am through playing games with you all: succeed or you’re fucked. Do you understand?” 

Jack nodded on behalf of the Crew. “Thank you Matt.”

“It’s for Geoff, not you,” Matt said. He looked at Ray. “And you’d probably do well to make sure the entire Crew remembers their place, Jack, before I make their place a fucking grave.”

Ray glared at Matt. “I’m not afraid of you.”

“You should be,” Matt said simply. “Go.” He paused and waved an unconcerned hand at them. “And take that mess on the floor with you.”

Everyone looked down and saw Michael laying on the ground. That was surprising. No one had even noticed he fainted.

Jack and Ryan grabbed his arms and dragged him out into the hallway, Gavin and Ray behind them. As soon as the door closed behind them, Ryan and Jack dropped him.

“Pay up!” Ryan and Ray said triumphantly to glares from Jack and Gavin.

Unnoticed, Burnie slipped into the office behind them where Matt wa staring thoughtfully at the door.

“You gave them another chance,” Burnie said. “Smart move.”

“You think so?”

Burnie nodded. “They may be idiots, but they are our idiots and they will come through for Geoff if nothing else.”

Matt frowned. “Yes. Their support of Geoff is relentless. It’s made them bold. Some of them a little too bold.”

Burnie shifted uncomfortably. “Ray?”

Matt nodded.

“Do I need to…?” Burnie trailed off. He absolutely did not want to kill Ray. He never wanted to kill anyone. He hated the crime half of his job. He hated the things they did. He wanted to stop it but he had a family to worry about. He was trapped, just like all the rest.

“No,” matt said. “Let’s see how they do. Ray will pay but if we aren’t careful, we could turn the Crew against us. I normally wouldn’t worry but Ryan has marked Ray as his protégée, Gavin and Michael are best friends with the kid, and Geoff and Jack are loyal to their crew. Killing Ray right now would give them strength they never knew they had. They could pose a threat.” 

“Really?” Burnie asked.

“Yes,” Matt said. “So we wait. We may have to put him into a compromising position instead of executing him. But he will pay. That is for sure.”

Burnie cringed inwardly and felt dread unfurl inside of him. He didn’t want this but how could he stop it?

“You got it boss.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's a little filler chapter with a glimpse of Matt and Burnie. Yes they are totally out of character, but this story is for fun after all and I like the idea of making them badass and deadly. Burnie and Matt are two of my favorite Rooster Teeth guys so they may pop up here and there in the future. Hope you all like how they were portrayed!
> 
> Also I know that the Crew would likely have to be in the hospital much longer (or shorter in a few cases) than what I have here, but that would be boring so I'm going to keep it moving.


	23. Illusions of Grandeur

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Fake AH Crew sits down to plot their final attempt to pull off a successful heist, only to realize that their success hinges on one of their own's ability to not fuck shit up.

To say the heist room was tense was an understatement. That would be like saying Antarctica is a bit nippy or Los Santos has a miniscule crime problem. All six of the Fake AH Crew were there as usual, plus Dan, Gavin’s cohort for the Slow Mo Guys, standing guard at the door. All of them were relaxed and joking to the untrained eye, but they were actors playing a part. Yes they had to maintain their calm, collected, mischievous selves but inside they were stretched thin and they were all looking to Geoff for some kind of miracle. This was their last shot. Their honest to God last hope.

This had to work. Geoff had put six long weeks into this plan, longer than any of the other plans he had come up with. He had pulled aspects from every job they had done in the past months and mashed them together to create what he hoped was the ultimate crime.

Geoff sighed and set both hands down on the table, bracing himself over the map.

“All right…six heists, six varying degrees of success, about sixty thousand varying degrees of failure.” He glanced up at the Crew who for once were listening well. “We’ve learned a lot and now I think it’s time for a group heist.”

Not that they had another choice.

“What’s our total take,” Gavin asked. They had seen the money in Matt’s office and had a rough estimate from that encounter, but they had gotten the real numbers now.

“Our total take?” Geoff asked. “I don’t have the numbers on me right now.”

“I checked with the accountant,” Ryan said helpfully. “I think we are somewhere in the vicinity of minus five hundred thousand dollars.”

Well no wonder Matt was pissed.

“That’s not good,” Gavin said unnecessarily.

“That’s fine because this is going to make up for it,” Geoff said confidently. He didn’t like the doubtful silence.

“We’ve all contributed elements to this heist,” Geoff continued, “It’s our grand heist.”

“Iron,” Michael said.  
Geoff looked up at him in confusion. Michael’s face was blank and he cleared his throat nervously. “My favorite element.” He was trying so hard to pull the joke off but it wasn’t going well. Geoff tried not to throw the map at him and instead threw him a bone.

“That’s your favorite element?”

Michael nodded.

“That’s good to know, Geoff said flatly. “That’ll definitely come in handy in this heist,” he said. He went for light and joking but it came out bitter and sarcastic. He was rewarded though as most of the Crew cracked small smiles.

Geoff opened his mouth to continue but Ryan chose that moment to chime in with “It rusts easy. Might be bad.”

Everyone looked back at Geoff who sighed and pursed his lips. “God damn,” he said exasperatedly. He just wanted to get through the plan. Jokes were fine, but they could wait.

“Is rust an element?” Michael asked before Geoff could attempt to speak again.

“It’s oxidized iron,” Ryan replied.

Gavin and Jack were looking between the two and Geoff nervously. Geoff waited until he had a moment of silence, his face getting more and more angry.

“You can do this,” Jack quietly to Geoff, encouraging him not to lose his temper. Geoff glared once more and started again. 

“I’m gonna run through this once just to make sure we’re all on the same page,” he said. “The first thing we’re gonna do—” Ray started to say something with the iron/rust conversation but Geoff’s patience snapped and he shouted over Ray. “—is shut the fuck up!”

“Alright…” Ray said uncertainly.

Gavin began to laugh, as did Michael. Geoff sighed and managed to crack a small smile. The tension in the room eased. Yes they were all idiots, but some things never changed. The Crew would always banter. Geoff would always shout over them to keep them on track, Gavin would always laugh no matter what, Michael would always have some smart remark, Jack would always hang back until he sensed Geoff was breaking, and Ryan would always never know when to quit...or stop being crazy, but that was unrelated to this scenario.

Geoff started again. “Second thing we’re going to do is get dressed in heist attire. Now I’ve been reviewing our reports,” he said gesturing to a thick wad of paper to his left. “I’ve been looking at the past jobs that have been successful. Those were only one- or two-man jobs, but they always had cool uniforms like a boiler suit so we’re gonna dress up in red that’s gonna put us in the right mindset to do this.”

There was a rustling sound at the door and Geoff broke off as the locked doorknob jiggled, causing them all to jump.

“Woah woah woah, security!” Michael exclaimed, gesturing at Dan to check the door. Dan gripped his gun and peeked behind the shade. The others waited to see who it was. One reason Geoff had posted Dan was because he was not entirely convinced that Matt would let them walk out into this last job. He was especially concerned for Ray who apparently had mouthed off a bit in his absence. Dan wouldn’t stop Burnie, but maybe they’d have time to react and get past him.

“I’m watching out. It’s all right,” Dan said finally.

Geoff shook himself and returned to the plan. “Alright so we’re gonna have two teams. The first team is going to get a vehicle and get prepped to pull off—potentially pull off four separate jobs. In a perfect world, it’s gonna be four. We’re gonna need a sniper rifle and some sticky bombs, I’ll explain that in a second.”

“Why doesn’t he says we’re gonna need a Ray and some Ryan,” Ryan muttered to Ray who grinned.

“The second team, Team Jack,” Geoff pointed at Jack who saluted. “is going to responsible for getting a cargobob.”

“Who’s on Team Jack?” Jack asked suspiciously.

“It’s gonna be you, Michael aaaaaaand…” Geoff trailed off looking between Gavin and Ray, having not considered this part quite yet. “Ray…no Gavin!”

The door knob shook again, distracting them all from Jack’s less than pleased reaction. It shook more forcefully this time and Dan crossed to the window to look into the hall.

“They’re trying to get in!” Michael said angrily.

“Come on!” Ryan yelled.

“Come on security,” Jack said. “Who is it?”

Dan opened the door and peered out but again he saw no one. That bothered Geoff more than he’d admit.

“False alarm,” Dan said, resuming his position but no sooner had he said that then they all heard footsteps outside the door.

“Was it Burnie or Matt?” Geoff asked bluntly and the Crew all tensed.

“It’s the police,” Dan said almost in relief. “They don’t know what’s going on so it’s fine. Nothing suspicious.”

Geoff breathed again. Cops were in an out all the time, particularly the ones on the Syndicates take He hated them, but they were always going into the wrong offices and rooms and they were nothing to worry about compared to Matt and Burnie.

“Team Jack—“ the door knob shook but Geoff grit his teeth and soldiered on. Dan stepped outside the door and there was a tense moment where they waited for him to come back in, covered in blood. After a minute he hadn’t returned at all and Geoff could just make him out standing guard outside the door now.

Geoff plowed ahead with the plan. “Team Jack is going to be responsible for getting a cargobob, two random cars—I don’t care whatever the fuck they are—and Michael this is where you’re going to come in handy. Being from Jersey, you have connections to heavy weaponry.”

“Yeah,” Michael replied.

“So you’re gonna get a tank,” Geoff instructed Michael. “You get a cargobob,” he said to Jack. “Do you remember where we did the cop block job? You’re gonna pick up his tank and put it on the roof by the ladder.

“Then you and you—” Geoff pointed at Gavin and Michael—“are gonna get two big box trucks. Any kind of trucks.”

“What’s this team called?” Gavin asked.

“Your Team Jack,” Geoff reminded him.

“He already said that!” Michael snapped.

“He swapped out Ray,” Jack added.

“Oh Christ alive,” Gavin muttered. He hadn’t been listening to the Team Jack plan.

“The other portion of the heist is a little too sensitive for you, no offense,” Geoff explained to Gavin, not caring whether Gavin was offended or not. “So you’re going to get the two big trucks what you’re gonna do is come over here on the north facing exit to this alley and you’re gonna block it off, just like we did in the first heist. The other one is gonna go right here next to it ready to pull in. We’re gonna create a death funnel. Park it there, babysit those vehicles.”

“Death funnel,” Ryan said aloud with a grin. That was a name and a concept he could get behind.

“It’s our Slipknot cover band name,” Ray said enthusiastically.  
Geoff rolled his eyes and tried not to face palm. “Well maybe with our winnings we can start our Slipknot cover band. We’ll be able to buy the equipment. Alright—.”

“We get to wear masks!” Ray said excitedly to Ryan, ignoring Geoff.

Ryan’s entire face lit up behind the skull mask he was already wearing.

“We have to,” Geff said patiently, which made them shut up. Overly patient Geoff was scary Geoff. “Speaking of which we’re gonna go by real fast after we dress up and we’re gonna get masks.”

“Theme?” Michael asked.

“America,” Geoff replied instantly. “This is going to be the ultimate American heist. There’s gonna be so many fucking explosions—.”

“We invented explosions,” Gavin interrupted. “The British did.”

“Pretty sure that was the Chinese,” Ryan said in aa patronizing tone. “You know, gunpowder, fireworks.

“Totally us,” Gavin insisted.

“Did you have some Chinese make it for you?”Ray asked sarcastically.

“We’re getting off track again!” Geoff snapped. He fixed Gavin with a withering look. “And just because you ordered it doesn’t mean you invented it.”

The others laughed and Geoff continued. “Then we’re going to get in the vehicle and we’re going to pull up right here.” He indicated a high price shop on his map marked with a star. “I did some research and there’s some serious money in these four stores,” he pointed out the four stars on the map and they fixed the locations in their mind.

“How many stores?” Gavin asked with a sly grin.

Geoff glared up at him suspiciously. He was going to make a stupid joke. Gavin always did that before making a dumb joke. “Four.” 

“Four stores and seven years ago?” Gavin said with a grin.

There was moment of silence and the Michael snorted. Ray laughed and even Ryan managed an exasperated chuckle.

“Booooooo,” Jack said glaring at Gavin.

Geoff didn’t even dignify Gavin with a response. “The thing about these stores—cash registers are fucking cement. We need sticky bombs to blow them open, but you can’t bring sticky bombs into a store.”

“Metal detectors are a bitch,” Ryan complained to some weird looks.

Geoff nodded in agreement. “So I’ll be the driver. Ryan, you’re gonna be the door man. You’re gonna hold the door open. Ray across the street, sniper rifle, kills the clerk, then you go in with the sticky bomb. Blow the cash register, grab the money, and we move on to the next store.”

Ryan grinned evily. “I like it.” Ray nodded beside him.

“We do this until we get cops in pursuit,” Geoff said. “If we get to all four without cops, great, but I don’t think we will. When we attract cops, we beg off and we just take the take that we get. 

“Then we’re gonna come around here,” he traced the route on the map, “and we’re going to pull into the alley and let the cops follow us. Once the cops follow us into the alley, Gavin shuts the door with the big truck.” Geoff made large sweeping motion with his hand while he spoke, not noticing Ryan mocking him. Geoff frequently spoke with his hands, something that the others joked him for quite often. “Then, Jack is going to pick up those two random cars that are up there, which Team Jack have already planted sticky bombs all over. He’s then going to drop them into the alley where we’ll detonate them and decimate the police. We all get into the cargobob except for Michael who is in the tank—“

Geoff broke off and glared at Gavin who had raised his hand five sentences ago. “Yes?”

“When I block the alley, do I then go up on the roof?” Gavin asked.

“Yes please do,” Geoff replied.

“Oh also,” Ryan piped up, “While were setting the targets, maybe you should have two separate people do the two different cars.”

“Yeah one person each,” Jack agreed. “You’ll do one, you’ll do one,” he said pointing between Gavin and Michael.

“We’ll work it out on the roof,” Geoff said. “Alright, then the five of us get into the cargobob, Michael you get into the tank. At this point we will have killed the ground forces but helicopters are gonna be en route. I doubt we’re gonna get away without having that, but they are never gonna see this coming.”

Geoff suddenly got a mad frenzied gleam in his eye and despite the pressure they faced, the Crew knew they were in for another crazy idea and another crazy job. (As if that weren’t obvious already.)

Geoff turned to Jack. “Pick up the tank with the cargobob and we create a flying missile the likes of which Los Santos has never seen.”

Out in the hallway, Dan face palmed so hard that they heard it in the heist room.

There was a beat of silence before Michael asked the burning question. “Do we know if a cargobob can support a tank?”

“Uuuuhhhhh…”Geoff thought about it. Hadn’t they tested that once? Screw it, time to go for broke. “Yes.”

“Probably,” Jack said. Didn’t they pick up a tank once…and blow up? Why did that seem familiar to everyone?

“Also I feel like I shouldn’t have to say this,” Ryan said, confused as to why he too seemed to recall a tank blowing up with all of them inside shortly after it fell on Gavin’s head, “but just as general reminder: it’s very important that the tank stay on the roof and not on top of Gavin.”

“Interesting, interesting,” Gavin said. Someone had dropped a tank on him…right?

“So don’t drive off the roof,” Michael confirmed. Hadn’t he done this before?

“Yes that is an excellent point,” Geoff agreed.

“Easier to pick up off the roof,” Jack added.

“Exactly.”

They all frowned for a moment, simultaneously recalling an incident where a tank was dropped on Gavin’s head, picked up by Jack in a cargobob, and then blown up with all of them inside. But how could that be possible?

Maybe that happened in one of the Achievement Hunter Let’s Plays…

“At this point, we are unkillable,” Geoff said, returning to the plan. “But you can’t make a getaway in a helicopter. It doesn’t have the range or the speed. So we’re gonna head down right here,” Geoff pointed at the far northeastern corner of the city map, “to the airport where we are gonna pick up a Titan.”

“Hey, you drew it!” Michael said excitedly, looking at the rough sketch of a Titan Geoff had scrawled on the map. “It looks kinda like a penis.”

“It’s a dick with wings,” Geoff agreed.

“It looks like the meanest dildo ever,” Ryan said dryly.

“It goes in but it doesn’t come out,” Geoff retorted. “Anyway, Michael is gonna be on the ground in the tank providing cover fire after we jump out and hop in. Then we fly—“ Geoff glanced at Jack “and I’m gonna rely on your expertise for this—do you guys remember where we tested once to see if you could land a plane on the side of a mountain?”

The other nodded, except Jack who broke out into a suddenly nervous sweat.

“We did that for a reason. That reason is this,” Geoff said. “Then we’re gonna fly up to Mount Chiliad and we’re gonna land the plane on the mountain.”

Jack took a deep breath and set his hand down on the table by the map. Geoff instantly looked at Jack and waited for him to speak.

“I hate to be the one to say this,” jack said gently. “Believe me.”

Geoff and the others looked at Jack in surprise. He had never sounded so defeated before. That wasn’t his style.

“I never landed my plane on the mountain.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Ray saw Gavin break out into a slow grin. Then Ray remembered. Oh no…OH NO!

Geoff didn’t notice and he frowned at Jack. “Yeah you did.” Geoff had seen him. Or someone anyway. Who else could it have been if not Jack?

“No I didn’t,” Jack said. Geoff and the others watched as he slowly moved his hand and pointed at the person next to him who was smiling cockily.

“Gavin did.”

And just like that they all remember Gavin’s squawks of excitement and Jack’s shouted curses. Jack was right. Gavin had summoned flying skills they didn’t know he had and had successfully landed on a mountain multiple times when no one else had.

“Jack did kind of blow up,” Ryan said.

“Fuck,” added Michael.

Geoff didn’t even bother disguising his horror as Jack said “We might need Gavin for this one.”

Gavin took the opportunity to hop onto the table and pose mock-seductively in front of Geoff. “The answer’s right here Geoff,” he said, waving his hand across himself and grinning.

Geoff hung his head and let out a sigh. “If that’s the answer, I hate the question.”

Geoff winced and Gavin jumped down to take a seat at Geoff’s side. Geoff glanced sideways at the younger man and gave him a piercing look. “Do you think you can do it?” Because we don’t have time to dick around, he didn’t add out loud.

“Absolutely I can do it,” Gavin said confidently, but seriously.

“So Gavin lands us on Mount Chiliad,” Jack prompted when Geoff didn’t say anything. Damn he hated that sentence. “Then what?”

“There’s parachutes on board, right?” Ryan asked. 

“Parachutes are too visible,” Geoff pointed out.

“Just to be clear, fiery explosions are very visible too,” Ryan replied.

None of them had confidence in Gavin’s abilities, even as he narrated his landing plan. If anything, Gavin’s confidence made them more nervous. But he had done it. They didn’t have a whole lot of choice.

Geoff sighed again. He had to trust Gavin. Really, would he have kept Gavin around this long if here was no way to trust him? Gavin had done it once. Geoff and the rest had to have faith he’d do it again. If he didn’t they were all dead either way.

“We’re gonna put our faith in Gavin that he is not going to blow us up,” Geoff finally said.

Everyone exchanged looks and they realized what Geoff was getting at. Not only didn’t they have choices, but they really only had each other in this final job. Whether or not the plane crashed wouldn’t matter in the end. They either crashed and survived to be killed by Burnie, crashed and died, or landed and succeeded and lived.

“Ok,” Ryan said.

“So we’re gonna land on Mount Chiliad,” Geoff said, “we’re gonna get out, and we’re gonna start our cover band.”

“Death Funnel,” Ray tacked on at the end.

“Sounds good,” Jack said.

“All right…” Geoff said and the tension returned. “Let’s go.”

The other got to their feet and filed out the door, except for Michael who stayed sat at the table, hand on his mouth, thinking hard. He was reviewing the plan, weighing the pros and cons, and making sure he knew what to expect. Unlike the last time he was left alone, there were no plans for betrayal in his mind.

Ryan walked back into the room.

“Whenever I leave you alone in a room, I almost die in a fiery explosion so…” he jerked his thumb behind him to usher Michael out the door.

“To be fair you always almost die in a fiery explosion anyway,” Michael pointed out. “But I see your point.”

Michael hopped off his stool and followed Ryan back out of the room. As they hit the streets, Michael wondered how Ryan would react if he pretended to shoot him in the back as a joke.

Nah. He had shit to live for.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Geoff arrived home that night with the weight of his uncertain future heavy on his shoulders. This was their last ditch effort, Burnie and Matt had made that clear. If they failed in anyway, they would be bumped off and that was the end of it. He was halfway to his front door when he stopped and looked at his house. He could hear a chainsaw running so he knew Griffon was in the workshop. A light was on in Millie’s room so she was either doing homework or, more likely, sneakily watching Achievement Hunter videos. He wanted to freeze the moment where he looked at his safe comfortable house and his safe comfortable family because God knows if it would be here after this job.

Sighing heavily he went inside, hearing the muffled sound of Michael’s voice yelling from upstairs. He couldn’t help but smile. His daughter had taste at least. “I’m home!” he shouted. “Stop watching our videos Millie!”

“Hi Dad!” she shouted back, not even attempting to deny anything. Geoff smiled and shook his head. If the worst his daughter did was secretly watch Achievement Hunter, he could count himself as a lucky man.

Chuckling in spite of his black thoughts, he unloaded the weapons on his person and locked them up in the gun safe hidden in the pantry behind a set of shelves. He then tucked his ammo into the separate ammo safe hidden in the hall closet and went in search of Griffon.

Just as he thought, he found her in the workshop, carving something immense with her chainsaw. It looked like a ginormous piece of wood with arms and legs but fuck all if he knew what it was.

Having seen Geoff come in, Griffon killed the chainsaw and waited for the noise to subside before removing her goggles and smiling at Geoff. “It’s going be a life size Groot when I am done.”

“That’s awesome,” Geoff replied smiling back. Griffon wasn’t fooled.

“What is it?” she asked, pulling him over to her workbench and sitting down. “Is it the Syndicate. Do we need to go?” They had long prepared for a day when they might have to flee Los Santos, it was what you did when you lived as they did. Griffon herself had done some work both for the Syndicate and for Rooster Teeth in the past and she knew full well what they were dealing with.

“No,” Geoff said heavily. “We don’t need to go. Matter of fact, I don’t think it will come to that. We have one more shot and if we fail this time, none of the six of us are coming back.”

Griffon frowned. “You have a daughter upstairs, Geoff. You have to come back.”

“I’ll try,” Geoff said. “But this plan is either crazy enough to work or crazy enough to fail. We all are organizing it together but it hinges on Gavin’s ability to land a plane on a mountain.”

Griffon’s shock was palpable. “Gavin?! But in that test you all did, I thought Jack—!”

Geoff shook his head. “Apparently not. Apparently it was Gavin. Jack had never owned up to it but he did today when I told him he needed to fly. He turned it over to Gavin. That’s how serious they are all taking it. No one lied or messed around today. Much. This is it Griffon, and we all know it.”

Griffon frowned and shook her head before looking at Geoff appraisingly. “You always thought those idiots were better than they were. Geoff...answer me honestly: do you think you all can do this.”

All their failures were presented like a road map in his mind's eye. He could see every mistake, every sabotage, ever stupid error, every lost cause. They were awful, he knew that, but they had come so close so many times. Michael had succeeded. Ryan would have succeeded if doubt hadn’t got the better of him and Ray. Ray had the money within reach before he fired to close and Jack’s plan had worked, they had just been unlucky. All of the plans except Gavin’s had in fact worked, they just had bad luck or made mistakes and Gavin’s may have been successful if they hadn’t crashed into the gas pump. As focused as they all were now, they knew they didn’t have the luxury of mistakes. Perhaps that was enough.

“Yeah I think we can,” Geoff said finally. “Or at least I think it’s worth a shot.”

Griffon didn’t question it. He knew his Crew and he wouldn’t lie to her. She just nodded.

“Then do what you have to,” Griffon said. “But just make sure you come back to me and Millie. You hear me?”

“Yeah,” Geoff replied. “I hear ya.”


	24. Drink Driving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cops do not know how to climb ladders and Gavin can't drive.

Jack thought he was the first one to arrive at Michael’s apartment since it was a full hour before they were supposed to be there. He parked outside and made his way up the stairs into the lobby and saw a familiar back in front of the elevators. Not first after all. Good, he was hoping Ryan would beat him there.

“Ryan,” he greeted walking up to join the other man just as the elevator opened.

“Hey Jack,” Ryan said cheerfully as they got in. He pushed the button and the doors slid shut as the elevator took them upward. They had barely started moving when Jack spoke.

“I’m glad I caught you early, there is something I need to discuss with you,” Jacks said quickly.

“I gathered as much when you texted us all to get here before Geoff,” Ryan said dryly.

“Yeah but you in particular,” Jack said. “I’m gonna be blunt: we need to decide right now what happens if we fail. We need to prioritize who lives and who dies.”

Ryan looked at Jack in shock evident under the face paint and mask. “What the fuck makes you think I care about getting anyone out other than myself?”

“Even Ray?” Jack threw the name at Ryan viciously, satisfied when Ryan scowled. “What is it with him? Why do you defend him so much anyway?”

“He’s too young to get caught up in this crap forever,” Ryan said after a brief pause. “And he’s too good for it. I’m hoping to either get him out or give him the skills to survive.”

“Gavin and Michael are just as young,” Jack pointed out.

“Michael was born violent and Gavin’s and idiot,” Ryan replied. “Besides I have heard rumors that Gavin was caught up in MI6 and that’s partly why Burnie recruited him. The Crew keeps him safe from that mess. Just like it keeps Geoff safe from whatever the hell Australia has.”

“Fair,” Jack said as the elevator slowed. He had heard the same rumors. “Look just hear me out: I think if things go wrong we should focus on getting Geoff out first.”

“Agreed,” Michael’s voice said from the other side of the door.

The elevator door slid open and Michael was standing on the other side, looking determined. “Jack is right, Geoff should be our priority.” Jack raised an eyebrow at Michael who shrugged. “Some voices carry.”

They shrugged and followed Michael into his apartment Gavin was already there since he did live in the building, and he was steadily drinking a glass of red wine and looking a little rumpled.

“Jack and Ryan!” he crowed, toasting them with the glass. “Team Same Voice. Good name that. Can’t tell you apart anyway when you’re talking.”

Jack looked around at Michael who looked both angry and a little amused at Gavin’s behavior. “Yeah…he may have also decided to keep Geoff alive and is drinking to his own death.”

“Let’s not get too ahead of ourselves,” Jack said. “We agree to get Geoff out. That’s does not mean we are going to die.”

“Why would we focus on Geoff?” Ryan asked grumpily.

“He’s the man!” Gavin shouted. “He’s the…the boss man. The OG.”

“Michael do something about that,” Jack said. Michael nodded and took the wine from Gavin, handing him water and a banana instead and practically forcing both down the Brits throat.

“We focus on Geoff because he believed in us,” Jack explained to Ryan. He put his faith in us and it’s dragged him down with us. We owe him for the trust he put in us. You in particular. The rest of us would never have trusted you if Geoff hadn’t given you a chance.”

Ryan reluctantly nodded in agreement. Geoff had trusted him. He had done his damnedest to hold this motley group together. He was facing execution because of that trust. Ryan may not be much, but he was a man who paid his debts.

“All right fine,” Ryan said. “Geoff is our priority. If things go bad, we make sure he gets out.”

“Agreed,” Michael said.

“Aye aye, Captain!” Gavin slurred.

“Done,” Jack said.

There was a knock on the door and Michael opened it to reveal Ray, who was looking nervous.

“We need to save Geoff!” Ray blurted out.

“Yeah we know,” Ryan said wearily.

“Let me fill you in,” Jack said.

“X RAY!” Gavin yelled excitedly before falling off his stool and knocking himself unconscious.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
“All right, you guys ready?” Geoff asked his assembled Crew, who nodded. Geoff remained oblivious to their conversation earlier, having no idea that the Crew was going to try their hardest to save Geoff if their plan failed. For his part, Geoff had carefully shed his anxiety and was prepared to approach this heist with enthusiastic optimism.

“All right, let’s go get rich!” he said excitedly. And hopefully avoid getting whacked.

“Ugh,” said a sobering-up Gavin. “Ugh I have had a few too many,” he groaned, slumping and teetering his way towards the door.

“Michael you want to get the vehicle?” Geoff said as they stepped outside.

“Want me to get the usual or…?” Michael asked starting for the garage.

“Get the new one,” Geoff said, tossing Michael a headset as he passed them out to the others. Michael walked off toward the garage as Gavin tumbled into the street.

“You ok Gavin?” Ray asked warily as Gavin weaved in the street.

“I’m queasy,” Gavin replied, swallowing hard. “Ugh I’m stumbling.” He started slapping himself in the face, trying to shed the alcohol haze. “Sober up, sober up.”

“That looks like my bike,” Ryan said suddenly, walking up to a lime green motorcycle currently occupied by Jack. He glared at Jack. “Is that my bike?”

Jack looked down at the bike. “I don’t know.” He grinned at Ryan. It was too easy and too fun mess with the Ryan.

Catching on to Jack’s tomfoolery, Geoff walked over and jumped on the bike behind Jack, who laughed. His laughter was short lived however as a pair of hands wrapped themselves into his shirt front and levered him off the bike. Jack hit the pavement and rolled, laughing as he went.

The sound of breaking glass made everyone look up. Gavin was climbing inside a car and jumpstarting it. Geoff made to protest, but Gavin was off, weaving crazily down the road.

“Woah I am drunk,” Gavin said surprised as he took out a streetlight. “I can’t drive straight!”

Michael pulled up in a Dubsta painted AH Crew lime green and black. He grumbled about the logo being missing but thought it was probably better to remain inconspicuous. The Crew headed into the vehicle, everyone except Ryan getting into the car. Ryan jumped in the back and Gavin screeched to a halt in front of the Dubsta. He was starting to sober up finally and he suddenly realized that the car he had stolen had a familiar alarm in it. It was one of Simeon’s which meant that the cops would be in-bound. Might be a good time to get into the Dubsta.

Gavin jumped in the back and Michael groaned as a cop car came around the corner gunning for them. Michael sped off but was then shocked to see two more cops fall in line behind them.

“Ryan did you shoot at the cops?” Michael asked angrily.

“No,” Ryan said, offended. “I’m on a murder break!”

“All right let me lose them,” Michael said wearily.

“Great start,” Geoff added sarcastically.

Luckily it only took a few minutes to lose them and Gavin was well on his way to sober by the time they cleared the cops. Part of that may be attributed to the fact that in their escape, Michael had dumped Gavin and Ryan out of the back by accident.

“So remember,” Geoff said. “All red suits, then we do masks to protect our identities, then Michael you get your tank, Gavin you start working on the trucks, Jack get a cargobob and the two random vehicles, and we’ll be good.” A flash of red caught Geoff’s eye as they passed a large red Cola truck. “Oh, that truck right there is perfect!”

“I’ll get it!” Gavin said excitedly standing up and flinging himself out of the still moving car. He hit the asphalt and rolled to a stop, successfully stopping the truck so he could jack it.

“There’s another one right behind it!” Ryan called after Gavin as Michael stopped the car. “Get the one behind it!”

Geoff popped his door and got off just as Michael said. “Oh, there’s one right in front of us, get that one.” He accelerated and Geoff, who was mid exit, got knocked off his feet as the Dubsta moved away from him.

“Ow!” Geoff grumbled. Still he got to his feet and decoded to ignore the delivery truck that Michael had indicated. Instead he ran to the Suburban clothing store behind them and Ryan stole the delivery truck while Gavin stole the white truck behind the red one because it had a dollar sign on it.

“Remember guys,” Geoff said as the Crew fanned out through the store. “All red.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“I look like a young Santa,” Gavin said looking down at his red sweats and red jacket hang open over his bare chest.

Geoff rolled his eyes as he straightened his lightish red waistcoat. “You look good.”

“I am very red,” Jack said showing off his eye-smarting red pants, shirt, and shoes. Michael was wearing a red varsity jacket and baggy red pants with a red bandana, and Ryan ran out in a light red suit.

“I don’t know if this is really red,” Ryan said doubtfully.

“It’s light red,” Michael assured him.

“You know what,” Ray said exiting the store in a completely red version of his usual outfit. “They already have color for light red.”

“You know what it’s called?” Gavin said excitedly, catching the reference. “Pink!”

Geoff and Jack both went for their guns at the same time but Ryan got there first. He swung his gun at Gavin’s skull, clubbing him and knocking him unconscious. “No RvB quotes!” he snapped. 

“Ryan!” Michael yelled. “You nearly killed him! What happened to your murder break?”

Ryan’s annoyance died down and he blinked down at Gavin’s unconscious body. “Oh…” He out his gun back and sighed heavily. “Sorry! My bad!”

“This is why it’s so hard to trust you!” Michael said.

Gavin groaned and sat up. “Ray started it…” he grumbled.

The Crew got in the trucks, Michael and Jack riding in the Dubsta while Ray and Geoff and Gavin and Ryan took the box trucks in pairs. They set off for the mask store, listening to Ryan shout at Gavin for his crappy driving.

“Gavin you have managed to hit everything!” Ryan shouted.

“I forgot you were riding with me,” Gavin explained. “Sorry!”

The others laughed and almost immediately broke off as Gavin and Ryan started screaming.

“GAVIN!” Ryan shouted

“AHHHHHHH!” Gavin squawked.

Gavin had executed a sharp turn in the box truck and had severely underestimated how top heavy the vehicle was. Ryan and Gavin both cried out as the truck tipped on to two wheels and lurched sideways as it screeched around the corner. At the last second they slammed into a surprisingly sturdy telephone pole and crunched to a stop. The truck balance on two wheels for a moment before jerking to the side and clunking down back onto all four wheels.

“We’re good!” Gavin said cheerfully.

Ryan slapped Gavin upside the head.

They Crew pulled up to the mask store and Geoff browsed the newest masks available. The theme was America so they needed an American mask.

What was more American than a bald eagle?

“White eagle!” he instructed the Crew, pulling on the giant bald eagle mask.

“Yup that’s it,” Michael agreed instantly. “Geoff you look fucking good!”

“Oh God!” Ryan said as Gavin drove at the mask store full speed. The Crew didn’t even notice as the giant truck plowed towards them only to be stop with a crunch by the awning of the mask store.

“Michael tuned around after paying for his mask and saw the truck behind him. Gavin had come in close without causing mass destruction. “Gavin nice park job,” he said appreciatively before sauntering back to the Dubsta.

Ryan shakily jumped down from the box truck. “Guys, I want you to know that that awning saved your life.”

“To look left or right, you have to whip your head back and forth,” Jack observed, maneuvering his head around with the heavy mask.

“I whip my head back and forth,” sang the entire Crew.

“Fuck,” Jack sighed.

The Crew then split up to do their jobs, delayed slightly when someone attempted to steal Gavin’s truck and again when Ray nearly got run over by the other truck. Eventually, after brutally beating the truck thief to death they were on their way to get their shit together.

Hopefully.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“This tank flies really well,” Jack announced sometime later. He had managed to hook the tank and get it airborne. Surprisingly it lifted easier than an armored truck. (What the fuck are in armored trucks?)

“How do you think it normally gets into battle? Ryan asked.

“Yeah it doesn’t drive across the ocean,” Geoff added.

Michael grinned inside the tank. “If they have a ship that’s big enough to carry a tank…” he began to quote.

“No,” Geoff cut him off, so forcefully that Michael cringed.

Gavin and Ryan drove the trucks into position, Gavin having to go quite a ways around when they relied the truck would fit under the gate at the mouth of the alley. Eventually the trucks were set, Ryan had joined Ray and Geoff in the Dubsta to be ready for their half of the job, and Michael had unhooked his tank, leaving it on the roof.

The reconvened in the parking lot below the tank where several cars stood unattended, ready to be turned into bombs Ryan nabbed one, grateful that he saw no trace of a Simeon tracker. He pulled it out for Gavin and Michael to use and ran back for another.

He missed the tracker this time.

“Uh-oh,” he said as sirens split the air almost immediately. “This may have been a Simeon vehicle.”

“Are the two vehicles different colors?” Jack asked as he lowered to the ground and let Michael out of the chopper.

“They are not,” Ryan asked as he jogged away from the traced car. “Hey wait a minute,” he said stopping in his tracks. He looked across the street at an alley and down a few doors to a convenience store. He knew this area. He knew it well.

“I feel like I almost died horribly right here,” Ryan said.

“No, why would you think that,” Ray said bitterly.

“For some reason this place makes me think about sad music,” Ryan muttered, unsure why he had that particular thought. “Uh-oh,” he said as a cop car came gunning into the parking lot. He ran for the ladder to the roof and began to climb. “There are some police in the area.”

“Don’t mind me and my C4, officer,” Michael said nonchalantly as a cop went flying by him. Some police officer had gotten out of their car and had followed Ryan up the ladder much to everyone’s surprise. Michael carefully sauntered over to watch the spectacle when suddenly h heard a high pitched scream.

A black blur rushed past him and he heard a sickening crunch as the scream died immediately. He blinked down at a uniformed body at his feet, the legs and back twisted and the eyes open and unseeing.

“What the fuck was that?” Jack asked.

“Oh shit!” Michael yelled as it dawned on him. “One just fucking fell off!”

“Did he die?” Gavin asked, jogging around the corner to Michael’s position.

“Yeah. Look.”

“Oh he snapped his back in half!” Gavin yelled, partially disgusted at the cops twisted body.

“Why is no one coming back for him?” Ryan wondered as the cops charged away from their fallen comrade.

“I don’t know,” Michael said. He reached down and grabbed the cop’s wallet that had bounced free as he fell.

After a random shoot-out between the parking attendant who appeared out of nowhere and the cops, the police eventually the cops cleared off, interestingly still leaving their dead colleague. After much deliberation and some goofing off, Michael and Gavin had managed to plant C4 on their respective cars and Jack lifted them on to the roof.

“I hate to say it,” Geoff said nervously as the shenanigans died down. But I have kind of a good feeling about this one.”

“Do you?” Michael asked while Ryan groaned, “Don’t say that.” Jack and Ray just groaned.

“You know we have to get in a Titan, right?” Gavin asked dubiously.

“And then Gavin is flying it,” Ryan added.

“He says he’s trustworthy,” Geoff said, forcing a confidence he wasn’t entirely sure he actually felt. He was trying though.

The Crew stopped off at Ammunation, ironically one of the stores they were going to rob. They loaded up and Jack returned in the chopper to the roof to drop Michael at the tank and then hovered with the first car bomb. Ryan, Ray, and Geoff took their posts in the Dubsta and Gavin hopped into his truck to block the alley

Geoff pulled to a stop in front of the first target. “Ryan, Ray, and I are position,” he said to the others.

“They’ll never suspect a bald eagle in a barber shop,” Ryan said as he crossed the street for the barber shop they were planning to rob.

“Is Team Jack ready?” Geoff asked.

“I am position,” Gavin replied.

“We’re good,” Jack said.

Geoff took a deep breath and unconsciously held it, his palms sweating profusely as the moment came upon them. Could they do this? Did they have a choice? Tremulously, Geoff nodded to Ryan.

Ryan opened the door to the shop. The clerk, a pretty woman in a purple sweater called a greeting, looking confused at the masked man. Ryan help up a finger and raised his phone to his ear. He pretended to take a call while holding the door partially open. His hands shook a little but at least he trusted Ray not to blow his head off. They couldn’t mess this one up. No do-overs.

Ray across the street looked down the scope of his sniper rifle and trained the crosshairs in the lady’s forehead. He gripped the gun and steadied his hand and breathing. They just had to do this last job and maybe they’d be free. He had to hold on to that hope. Regardless, there was no room for mistakes

Up on the roof, Michael strapped into the tank and positioned the monitors so he had a good view of where to aim when he was picked up. He gripped the seat so hard his bones creaked. This had to work. They had to do this.

Jack concentrated on the whir of the chopper and the creak of the rope from which one of the car  
Bombs swung. The rhythmic noise helped settle his nerves so he could lock his courage in place. They would not fail. Not this time.

“Bird in a van,” Gavin sang. “I’m a bird in a van. Look, I have paper work.” That was Gavin. He had to focus on anything but the tension and the danger or he would be useless.

“Alright,” Geoff said into the moment of silence. “On your mark…get set…heist!” he shouted and almost immediately, Ray pulled the trigger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sadly I had to cut a lot of chatter and shenanigans or this chapter would have been a million pages long. I kept the highlights though. Also the Crew's decision to save Geoff feeds directly into the Prison Break heist so bear with it. 
> 
> We are approaching the end folks! I have two chapters of lead in to the Prison Break heist, the set up and execution of Prison Break, an end, and then it is done! I do have two sequels planned out that will feature Lindsay's Heist, the Trojan Bar heist and a couple of the GTA V heists. The next two stories will gradually begin to deviate away from the videos as they go along and there will be a lot more original content from me. If that is not your thing, don't worry, Welcome to the Heist can be read alone and will have a neat and tidy ending so you won't feel as though you have to read the sequels.
> 
> I also feel like I should have mentioned this earlier: I pick on Gavin a lot in the story but it is only a reflection of how everyone in AH picks on him. I love Gavin and think he is awesome. My constant torture of him is purely for comedy.
> 
> Kudos to everyone who got the Torchwick reference in chapter 22!


	25. Hit the Ceiling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Gavin kinda fucks everyone again and Geoff becomes a hero for five seconds.

Ryan felt Ray’s sniper round whiz past him before the clerk’s head snapped back and she crumpled to the floor. He hadn’t even ducked, trusting Ray’s impeccable aim.

“She’s dead,” Ray confirmed, jumping back into the Dubsta. Ryan immediately withdrew some C4, wedged it between the register and the safe that was just below it and ran back out the door where he ducked and pushed the detonator.

The door and windows exploded, raining glass down on Ryan, but he was already up and moving. The cash register and safe had been blown back a few feet and were twisted ruins but the money was safe miraculously. The register drawer was still clinging to the bills and the deposit in the safe was tightly packed in a bag so it was the work of a moment for Ryan to grab it and leg it back out of the store.

A cop across the street who had seen the explosion came running towards Ryan, drawing his gun and Ryan didn’t even hesitate. He swung his duffle bag into the cop’s head, knocking the officer down before flinging himself into the Dubsta.

“Good take but we have one cop!” Ryan shouted as Geoff gunned it.

“You can lose him before we hit the next store,” Michael pointed out.

Geoff tore off down the streets and managed to hide in a parking garage as several police cars raced by sirens shrieking. The car had no license plates and the cop Ryan had hit hadn’t gotten a look at anything besides the color red and an eagle face so it was likely they were clear.

“That lady didn’t stand a chance,” Ray said with a grin as Geoff backed out of the garage.

“No she did not,” Ryan agreed. “Her fucking brain matter is on the back of that wall.”

“Hi Jack!” Gavin chirped suddenly as the cargobob drifted into his view. “I can see you!”

“Hi Gavin,” Jack said with half a smile. Gavin could be unflappable sometimes. “This is your bomb I’m holding.”

“Oh so should I blow it now?” Gavin asked jokingly. “I could make a really cool firework.”

“No!” shouted everyone.

“All right next location!” Geoff said, hitting the breaks and stopping in front of a very familiar Suburban. “They may remember us as the guys who were just here.”

Ryan swung the door open and ducked when someone went screaming past him. The shop clerk, having seen a car full of masked men pull up, was already making a run for it. Ryan debated tripping her but trusted Ray to do his job. Sure enough, he had barely set the C4 when the girl’s screams cut off abruptly and something heavy hit the ground outside the window.

“No witnesses,” Ray said simply, returning to his perch in the Dubsta.

Ryan had to set a few charges here as they had three registers and three safes, but it was worth it as it appeared that the former clerk stupidly hadn’t taken any deposits or money in to the bank today Ryan stuffed a ridiculous amount of cash into his bag.

“We are someone in the area of 20 grand now!” Ryan said excitedly running back to Geoff.

“Holy shit!” Geoff said, amazed. They were doing it. They were actually doing it!

“Her dead body, her dead body!” Ray yelled to Ryan.

Ryan drew up at the Dubsta confused. Her body—oh right! He threw a bit of C4 at the dead clerk and detonated it, erasing the clerk in a puff of smoke and bits of bone and flesh.

“I meant take her money, but you can blow her up,” Ray muttered as Geoff sped off.

“Done,” Ryan said gleefully.

Gavin’s phone went off in his hand. It was a text from Kerry back at the office. Apparently Simeon didn’t appreciate that they had commandeered two of his vehicles as bombs and was demanding they be returned. Gavin scoffed. “Piss of Simeon, you bald bitch!”

“Response times in this area are terrible,” Ryan observed as nary a cop appeared to be on to them.

“They’re probably arriving at the first store now,” Michael joked.

“Ok we are en route to the third location,” Geoff announced.

Ryan and Ray leaped out of the Dubsta moments later. Ryan ran for the door to the Ammunation they had just shopped at and Ray crouched behind a gold sedan in the parking lot. They had to be quick here. It was not easy to rob a place that specialized in items that can kill robbers. Ryan paused with his hand on the door, waiting for Ray to signal him.

“Now!” Ray said, aiming carefully.

Ryan yanked open the door and held it, his back to the burly, tattooed cashier behind the register.

“CROUCH!”

Ryan ducked and the cashier’s head exploded.

Ray swore and ran back to the Dubsta as Ryan set and blew C4. Ryan would never know how close he had come to dying right there. The clerk almost immediately pulled a gun while Ryan faced away from him and would have shot Ryan dead right there. Ray felt dread flood him, but kept his head on…barely. He pulled the trigger, just managing to shout the warning to Ryan. Had Ryan hesitated even just a nanosecond longer after Ray shouted, the sniper round would have imbedded itself in his forehead. Ray slumped against the cold metal of the truck breathing hard as his heart rate returned to normal. Thank God he had held steady and thank God Ryan had no idea how close he had come.

Geoff has watched the whole thing in horrified silence and chose not to say anything as Ryan ran excitedly back to them. Ray was one hell of a shot and had definitely brought his A game today. Ryan didn’t need to know.

Ryan was giddy. It turns out that Ammunation was a little too confident in their stocks ability to protect them from thieves. They hadn’t taken deposits in to a bank in at least a week, though the cash registered had small tills. They made another getaway, hiding from pursuing law enforcement under some apartment complex’s stairs.

Geoff pulled up to the final location and Ray and Ryan jumped from the still moving vehicle to get into position.

“WHY?!” Ray shouted, making Ryan jump and whip around.

A jeep speeding down the other side of the road did not see Ray and clipped him with his mirror. Ray did a funny sort of pirouette in the street, which Ryan caught sight of, and fell in the street.

“Fuck that guy!” Ryan yelled, going for his gun.

“NO!” shouted the Crew.

“Stay on target!” Ray snapped, getting to his feet His shoulder hurt where he had been hit but he was still able to hold his rifle steady so he was fine.

Ryan hesitated but realized they were too close to blow it now. He pulled open the door of the tattoo parlor and found it empty but for the cashier. The cashier however took one look at Ryan’s mask and vaulted over the counter, sprinting through the door before Ryan even had a chance to react.

“Oh he’s running!” Ryan said, turning and trying in vain to grab for the guy.

“I’ll get him,” Ray said, dropping his rifle and switching to the machine gun slung over his back. He raised the gun and didn’t even have to aim as he pulled the trigger and unloaded into the poor guy.

Ryan blew the registers and safes one final time and came up with a measly couple grand. Damn responsible shopkeepers. He exited the tattoo parlor and caught sight of a Vinewood tour bus parked just outside.

“Let’s go ahead and leave a little calling card,” Ryan said with a grin as he tossed a bundle of C4 at the van and detonated it.

Unfortunately, the cops had finally wised up to what was going on and no sooner had Ryan got back in the Dubsta than three police cars came gunning down the street after them.

“All right, the Popo is on us!” Geoff yelled, slamming on the accelerator.

Now the real heist had begun.

Geoff plowed through the first cop car, grateful for their vehicle’s superior size as it shoved the squad car back. “Just collided with the cops, we’re heading into the alley. It’s happening boys, this is it!”

Ray hung on for dear life as Geoff sped up, taking turns on two wheels and nearly flinging Ray off the back. “I will be the first to go down because I am completely exposed!” he announced, reminding Geoff that he was back there.

The alley was just ahead and Geoff charged in, scarping against dumpsters and dodging homeless people.

“When am I blocking it?” Gavin asked, looking wildly around through his mask.

Geoff saw Gavin’s truck appear in his head lights and he yanked the wheel sharply to the right. Unfortunately the big vehicle turned widely so they slammed into the wall instead. Ray would have been throw into the cab’s back window had he not been hanging on and as it was his arms screamed in protest at their abusive treatment.

“Oh shit we forgot how wide the turn radius is!” Ryan lamented, levering himself back off of the dashboard where he had been tossed and rubbing his freshly bruised forehead.

“We’re fine,” Geoff snapped. He reversed and managed to maneuver them into the alley. 

“Block it, bock it!” Ryan, Ray, and Geoff all shouted to Gavin. Gavin accelerated forward and successfully sealed off the alley.

“Get up the ladder!” Geoff shouted, stopping the Dubsta and grabbing his gun as he jumped out. Ray and Ryan were already at the ladder and Geoff caught sight of Gavin hauling himself over the front end of the truck that was now blocking the alley. He looked back and saw the other truck they had planted was gone, likely stolen or towed. So much for the death funnel. Still as long as they could get in the chopper and get airborne with the tank they’d be safe..ish. 

Ryan was already on the roof and was covering the others. Ray, who had one hand on the ladder, backed off when Geoff reached him and gestured for Geoff to go while he to provided cover. Gavin was also aiming at their exposed side, waiting for Geoff to go first.

Geoff frowned as he scurried up the ladder. Why did they wait for me to go first?

Meanwhile, three squad cars drove into Jack’s line of sight and turned into the parking lot. Jack steered the chopper over them and his hand hovered on the hook release button. “Gavin get ready!”

Gavin stopped at the base of the ladder and fumbled for the detonator I his pocket. “Ready!”

Jack released the car and Gavin waited a beat before hitting the detonator. The car blew up. Jack kept his eyes on the ground waiting to see how much damage they had caused.

“Shit we missed the cop!” Jack swore.

“What a waste!” Gavin cried in frustration.

“Get your second bomb,” Ryan replied. Geoff reached the roof and Ryan immediately backed off the ladder. Instead he sprinted to the faintly glowing black car Michael had covered in sticky bombs and waited as Jack lowered the hook into position. With the ease of what was now copious amounts of practice, he secured the hook to the car and Jack lifted it easily. He struggled turning the chopper as the cops below aimed towards him and the flashes of Ryan and Geoff and Gavin that they could see on the roof. Ryan and Geoff moved to the low wall at the edge of the roof and crouched behind it, raising up to fire at the police and give Jack enough time to drop the other car bomb.

“Blow it!” Ryan shouted to Jack as bullets smashed into the concrete around him. “Come on Jack!”

“Where am I dropping it?” he asked. He was right over the cops and couldn’t see the bombs or where it would land.

“On the cops!” Geoff shouted back angrily.

“Look down, drop it where there’s people!” Michael shouted.

Jack glared. “All right, fine!” He released the car. “It’s loose!”

Michael pushed the button on his own detonator and the car blew up. “Blew it!”

This bomb was more successful, landing on a cluster of policemen and blowing them sky high along with their car. Ryan yanked Geoff down behind the low wall on the roof as shrapnel flew past.

“All right everyone in the chopper!’ Geoff ordered. Jack moved over them and landed, the wind from the spinning blades pushing at them as they converged on the cargobob. Ryan, Ray, and Gavin fell back a bit, ensuring Geoff got in first. No sooner had Geoff hauled himself up next to Jack than the first police helicopter flew into range. Ryan, Ray, and Gavin turned their guns up and backed toward the chopper.

“We got helicopters!” Michael announced unnecessarily just as Gavin’s gun clicked on empty. He reached down for the duffle bag of weapons and closed on empty air. He had left his weapons and ammo in the truck!

“I’ve got no ammo for God’s sake!” he shouted angrily. He was ignored.

Ray reached the cargobob just after Geoff and yanked on the hook that had pooled on the ground next to the cargobob. He ran over to the tank and secured the hook around it. Ryan dropped his empty assault rifle and followed Ray, pulling it his rocket launcher as Gavin ran for the cargobob. Ryan aimed carefully and launched the missile, which hit the chopper dead on.

“Everyone in!” Geoff ordered. Thanks to Ryan they now had a brief window to get in and get off the ground before the next chopper came in.

“Nice shot!” Ray yelled, running past Ryan and diving into the cargobob. Ryan followed, flinging himself up behind Gavin and switching to another gun.

The second chopper flew in just as Jack lifted off of the ground, bullets from the machine gun bouncing off the armored side of the cargo bob. They had to move higher to lift Michael, but the chopper was right on them.

“Shoot him, Michael!” Ryan yelled.

“I can’t you’re right on top of him!” Michael replied, trying to move his gun around theme. “Back up, back up!”

Jack reversed the cargobob slowly and had barely moved out of range when Michael fired. The police helicopter was obliterated. “I got him! Go, go, go!”

Jack pushed the controls forward and the cargobob moved with surprising agility. They moved forward and upward. There was a moment of resistance as the hook’s line stretched to its full extended length and a brief shudder. The engines revved slightly and then Michael felt the tank swing forward slowly as the armored vehicle left the rooftop to cheers from him and the rest of the crew.

“Let’s heist!” he cried triumphantly as he manned the gunner controls.

“To the airport boys!” Geoff shouted gleefully. “To the airport! To glory! To freedom!”

The tank appeared to be swinging gently below them but too Michael inside it was a dizzying ride. He wasn’t prone to motion sickness, but the weightless ups and downs were making him a little woozy. He tried to turn the gun around but with the absence of the ground, he found the controls did not readily respond to him for some reason. “I’m just gonna shoot randomly because I can’t target anything!” he announced before launching several rounds. “Operation Rain Down Chaos!” He laughed maniacally as he shot, relived when after a moment he was able to get the gun around to face behind them.

“Oh my God,” Jack said with an incredulous laugh as the police choppers struggled to keep up with them and their disco ball of death. “How is this working?”

Michael looked up at his display and saw their pursuers falling further behind. “Holy shit we’re getting away!” he laughed.

Suddenly the closest police chopper accelerated somehow and swung in close. Jack and the others shouted out as Jack swerved to avoid collision. “On the left, the left!” he called back to the others, who aimed for the chopper besieging them.

“Shoot him Michael!” Gavin said.

“I’m trying!” Michael snapped back as he fought gravity and the swinging. He managed to lower his gun and the cross hair it up around his target. He fired.

The police helicopter blew up and the Crew cheered uproariously.

“I got him!” Michael yelled ecstatically.

“Here come two of them,” Ryan warned as more helicopters came into sight.

“I see the airport!” Jack announced as the runway lights appeared before them.

“Boom!” Michael crowed as he lit up one of the choppers behind them. The Crew barely had time to react before he blew up the other one. Again and again, choppers came at them and again and again, Michael destroyed them with deadly accuracy.

“Michael this is amazing!” Geoff said. “You beautiful bastard!”

“We’re closing in on the airport heading towards the hangar,” Jack announced. They started to sink lower and lower and Ryan, hanging halfway out of the chopper could see police swarming on the ground gunning for the airport and them. The choppers wouldn’t be a threat much longer. As soon as they landed and had to exit the helicopter, that was when they would be the most vulnerable. That is when they were most likely to die.

Ray must have been thinking along the same lines because he leaned out and looked below before asking. “Can you drop Michael from this high?”

“Not yet,” Michael said. The choppers were falling back. Now he had to focus on ground forces. He needed to be cut loose. “If you can get me into the airport and drop me, I can start firing from the ground.” They sank lower and Michael fastened his seat belt, backing off from the gun. They were descending at too steep of angle for him to safely shoot now

Jack flew lower to the ground, his jaw clenched as two choppers took advantage of their low altitude and Michael’s inability to shot to fly right over him. On the ground, SWAT cars with machines guns were trained on them and bullets were starting to rain down on them. Sparks flew from the engines as they were hit. They didn’t have long.

“We’re coming in hot,” Ryan said nervously. They were close now. They could drop Michael in just a second. The thought had just crossed his mind when a loud clank came from the engine on his side of the cargobob. The engine began belching billowing black clouds of smoke. “We’re smoking Jack! You gotta get us on the ground.”

They were still a little high but Michael would have to risk it. They were dead if he didn’t. “All right let me go Jack!”

Jack hesitated but Geoff didn’t. He knocked Jack’s hand aside and smashed the hook release.

“Bye Michael!” Jack yelled in warning.

Michael felt his stomach enter his throat as the tank dropped. He hit the ground with a tremendous crash that he felt in his bones and felt the back end of the tank bounce upward, nearly sending him vertical. The back crashed back down, levering the front side up and the tank rocked and bounced a few more times before settling heavily on the ground. Michael entire body ached where he had been jerked against his restraints, but he didn’t have time to worry about it, he had to cover the others. He floored the gas and swung his gun up to take out the pursuant choppers.

Jack fought the failing engine and very ungracefully thumped down onto the ground. The chopper wheels touched down and Jack hit the brake hard as a concrete wall came barreling towards them.

“OH NO!” Ray shouted. Panicking slightly Ray, Gavin, and Ryan all leaped out of the still moving cargobob. Geoff and Jack screamed as it collided with the wall. After a second, they realized that they hadn’t blown up and looked rather embarrassed at their screaming. They didn’t have time to dwell. The ground forces, SWAT and police, were racing towards them and they had to make it to the Titan.

“Gavin get in first!” Geoff said, sprinting for the giant plane. Gavin luckily was already racing inside and strapping himself in the pilot’s seat. Geoff was hot on his heels and raced up the stairs into the large cargo area. Jack stumbled in a few moments later

“Everyone get in!” Gavin shouted.

Ryan and Ray were almost to the Titan when gunfire sprayed through the hangar. They dove aside, Ray rolling away from the Titan and Ryan towards it. There was a chopper right above the hangar that was using Michael’s distraction with police and SWAT cars to rain hell.

“There’s one right above the hangar!” Ryan yelled to Michael.

Michael rolled the tank over a SWAT van and turned the gun on the offending chopper. “THESE ARE MY SKIES MOTHERFUCKER!” he screamed as he took out the chopper.

Ray tried to move for the Titan but the police were swarming them. He took cover, firing as Michael and the tank fought to get to the Titan. Ryan was standing on the stairs, covering them both and screaming for Michael and Ray to get in.

“I’m coming!” Michael said, rolling into the hangar. Now was the moment where he had to stop fighting back and run for his life to get in the Titan. The tank rolled to a stop as he unstrapped himself and he shoved the top open and levered his way out. “I’m making a break for it!”

Ray knew the time had come for him to also make a break for it, but Michael was surrounded. Ray knew the only way Michael would make it in was if someone covered him. Ryan was good, but not that good. Ray had to cover them both.

His palms broke out in a nervous sweat as he realized what he was thinking. It was just like that time with the jet on Power Street. Every other member of the Crew had shit to live for, families and children and futures. He didn’t have as much. It was why he routinely took the fall for the others.

Fuck it. He’d take an honorable death.

“Ray come on!” Ryan shouted as Ray dropped his gun and switched to his grenade launcher. He ducked as shrapnel flew and Ray lit in to the police with abandon. He knew what this was. He recognized it. “Ray don’t!”

“Go now!” Ray shouted back. “Go!”

Michael flew past Ryan and into the cargobob. “RAY!”

“Go without me!” he shouted as a SWAT van raced for him and screeched to a stop. A heavily armored officer jumped out and leveled his weapon at Ray.

“RAY!” shouted Geoff as the entire Crew yelled for him to move.

“GO WITHOUT ME--!”Ray yelled again as the SWAT man opened fired.

“NO!” Ryan roared as he let go of the Titan. He wouldn’t do this again. He wouldn’t watch, he would--.

Something smashed into him and he stumbled back towards the plane. Looking up, a red blur was running towards Ray.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING GEOFF?!” Jack roared.

Geoff wasn’t going to do this again, he wasn’t going to watch Ray sacrifice himself and watch Ryan throw away his life in revenge. He was god damn sick of it. They were too close and he wasn’t losing anyone, not this time, not when they had come so far. He was already moving before Ray shouted his last sentence and he barreled past Ryan as Ray fell. They Crew watched as their leader shot as he ran, achieving an accuracy he never had and probably never would achieve again. He ran towards Ray, felling the cops that had converged on him. Geoff grabbed Ray’s limp form under the arm and hauled him up with strength he didn’t know he had. He crouched, flung the skinny boy over his shoulder and raced back to the Titan. The Crew watched in shock as Geoff somehow miraculously made it back to the Titan and inside with Ray over his shoulder.

“Gavin go!” Geoff shouted, dropping Ray. Ryan rolled Ray out and began looking into first aid and Jack moved up to help him. Gavin was already moving the Titan. They rolled out of the hangar, surprisingly quickly, and Gavin gunned the engine.

“Start rolling, move it!” Ryan added.

“Get off the ground!” Jack shouted as bullets hit the sides of the Titan. Gavin twitched nervously and began to lift the plane off the ground.

Suddenly Geoff was in Gavin’s ear. “TAKE OFF!”

Gavin yanked the controls back instinctively and began to lift off just as a police helicopter apparently threw caution to the wind and dove straight for them.

“AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!” Gavin shrieked as he closed his eyes and lifted the plane off the ground. At the very last second, the chopper swung away and the Titan flew away.

‘We are airborne!” Jack shouted triumphantly to cheers from the Crew before refocusing on Ray, who was starting to move. It looked like he had been hit in the vest, but nothing had broken through, the impact had knocked him down and out.

Ryan grinned, relieved. “Let’s take a moment to thank Ray for his sacrifice!”

“Ray I’m gonna pour one out for you buddy, a Capri Sun!” Geoff joked.

Ray groaned. “Not…dead…yet.”

“Get us some altitude,” Jack instructed. “There’s choppers right behind us.”

“There was a chopper as we took off that nose-dived for our backs,” Gavin said, his throat raw from the screaming he’d done.

“Can anyone shoot out?” Ryan asked. There was no door on the side, the only one being the large opening on the back end that would be disastrous to have open. They couldn’t cover their own escape.

“No,” Geoff said nervously. This was something they hadn’t counted on.

“Just keep gaining altitude,” Ryan said after a moment.

“How the hell are we gonna take care of these choppers?” Michael asked, nervously. There were no windows in the back of the plane, all they could hear was a random ping of bullets and thee buzz of choppers over the Titan’s engines. Gavin kept climbing though and soon they were high above the city. “What do we do when we get to Chiliad?”

“We become mountain men,” Geoff joked half-heartedly. “Make sure your chutes are nearby.”

The Crew did as they were bid, except Gavin, who had chucked a chute in the seat next to him for easy access, and Michael who was sitting just underneath one strapped to the wall where he could easily grab it. Jack and Geoff immediately put theirs on as they continued to climb higher into the sky. 

Behind Geoff, Ryan finally got to his feet and breathed a sigh of relief as Ray sat up, groaning. He had a nasty bump on his head and looked a little unsteady but otherwise seemed unharmed. He got to his feet and stripped off his tattered jacket and shirt to remove his now useless bulletproof vest. Ryan shoved him into one of the few jump seats next to Michael and pressed a parachute into his hands. He grimaced and put his shirt back on followed by the parachute and his hoodie. Ryan pulled his own parachute on and came up behind Geoff to stare out the window with him.

Suddenly the plane shook, jostling them all and Geoff saw the helicopters slowly receding below them. What was going on? Were they were too high?

“Gavin?” Geoff asked nervously.

“We’re fine,” Gavin replied snappishly.

The sound of bullets was fading. “We’re losing them, keep climbing,” Jack said, coming up beside Ryan and grabbing some of the cargo netting in the wall to maintain his balance. “We need to get away, they are still shooting us.”

“That’s not the cops,” Geoff said as the Titan wobbled again. “I think it’s the altitude.”

“Or the pilot,” Ryan muttered.

“We’re fine,” Gavin snapped. “I can do this.”

Geoff frowned as they wobbled again. The dials and readouts on the Titan were practically straining as they reached their highest numbers. Geoff didn’t know much about planes, but they seemed too high and too unstable. The Titan lurched again and he nearly fell into Gavin’s lap. “GAVIN!” he snapped as an alarm went off. “Lower the plane!”

“It’s fine!” Gavin yelled but now he wasn’t sure. He eased off the controls just a little and the plane leveled. “See? We’re fi--.”

Suddenly the engines sputtered and died with a loud clank and the lights and controls went dark. The dials and readouts swung to zero and the plane seemed to freeze in mid-air for a moment as everyone exchanged horrified looks.

Then Geoff remembered the choppers below just as the Titan began to fall.

“No…”

How could this happen? It had been going so well. They had pulled of the mission, escaped with their take, and nearly evaded the helicopters that had pursued them. The flying tank of doom had worked perfectly. They had almost lost Ray, but had pulled him to safety at the last minute. They should have been clear, they should have been safe. But as he lunged for the controls in what felt like slow motion, Geoff remember three things.

One: Never relax before the mission is complete.  
Two: Never let Gavin pilot the plane.  
Three: Never forget that they were without a doubt the unluckiest, suckiest, horriblest, worst gang in the history of Los Santos.

And with that all of their hopes died, as usual, with the roar of a police chopper and a deafening crash. 

The police chopper had tried to evade the Titan as it began to fall, but had not been fast enough. The pilot screamed as the chopper slammed into the Titan’s tail.

The plane didn’t shudder this time or swerve, or dive. It exploded. Pieces of the tail and engines ripped free, a few crashing into other police choppers that also exploded and crashed. The sky was on fire.

As soon as they hit, Geoff felt himself being thrown forward into the cockpit, slamming into the control panel as something heavy hit him just as hard. He could smell blood as pain bloomed in his chest and ribs and the am that had been pinned beneath him. He tried to get his bearings but the world was spinning and his friends were screaming. Alarms whistled and sirens shrieked as the Titan plummeted downward.

“Geoff!” Suddenly the weight behind him lifted and Jack’s face was in front of him, blood covering half of it. The heavy thing that had pinned Geoff turned out to be Ryan, who was slumped against the wall of the cockpit, a jagged piece of metal glinting in his arm. Gavin was folded over the console, a terrifying amount of blood running from his side where it looked like a lever of some kind had stabbed him. Michael was stilled strapped into the jump seat next to Ray, beating flames off of his coat as Ray screamed, flames visible on his leg. It was like a horror movie, a sick horror movie that Geoff couldn’t have possibly been living.

The next thing Geoff knew, he was hauled upright and swung out of the plane, dangling in the open, rushing air as Jack gripped his parachute strap. Geoff looked up at his friend and saw Jack say something, something important.

Then Jack let go.

The plane streaked downward as Geoff seemed to float momentarily in mid-air, but then he dimly realized that he too was falling, just slower because he was less heavy. Then he realized what Jack had yelled.

Pull your chute.

Jack had gotten him out in a crazy attempt to save him. Geoff would be touched if he wasn’t falling to his death. He raised one arm, trying to raise both but his left only went so far before he got dizzy. He managed to grip the ripcord and yank. He jerked bodily as his descent was stopped abruptly, or at least slowed. After that he let the wind take him as he dipped in and out of consciousness. He could just float here forever…

NO!

Geoff’s head jerked up. He couldn’t just float. He had to land, he had to find out what happened to the rest of his crew. How could they survive the crash--no. Don’t think like that. Geoff drifted over trees and buildings, twisting to see the remains of the Titan, keeping an eye out for chutes. He could see the wreckage streaking toward Chiliad but there were no sign of parachutes yet. He remembered the blood and the flames and Jack's dead-eyed face as he threw Geoff out of the chopper. Geoff should have been with his Crew, whatever the outcome. Why had Jack flung him free?

Geoff noticed that his descent was speeding up. A small neighborhood on a hill rushed up to meet him and he shifted his weight slightly, aiming for a backyard. He hit the ground, stumbled and fell to his knees, catching himself on his hands before he hit the ground. His left arm buckled and he hit the ground anyway, breathing in the sharp scent of grass.

He had to move.

He struggled with the parachute, lead-like arms and clumsy fingers working against him. His head was spinning from what he dimly registered to be a bad concussion but he finally managed to free himself from the confines of the parachute and he got to his feet, cradling his aching arm. A fence in front of him showed the dim outline of a gate and he fumbled with it, creaking it open and stumbling into a side yard. The distant echo of sirens reminded him that he couldn’t linger long so he crept his way around the dark house before him, ears pricked for any sign of pursuit, but the street was quiet.

He darted across the road and through another backyard, bolder when there was no sign of cops. He stepped out of another gate, stumbled around the side of another house and almost made it to the street before flashlights hit him in the face.

“FREEZE!”

Geoff threw his good hand up to shield his eyes as flashlights and shouts slammed into him. Cops rushed out of the surrounding yards, all armed and all intent on him. All he could see was bright white light, black shadowy figures, and the flash of light bouncing off of metal badges and matte black guns

“On the ground!”

Geoff winced and fell to his knees, squinting through the bright lights. The cop in front of him couldn’t be more than 21, an over eager nervous type that Geoff knew he probably couldn’t bribe. His gun was on Geoff’s head and Geoff knew that if he moved, he’d be blown away.

“Get down. Now!”

Geoff laid himself flat, wincing as the cop roughly yanked his good arm around and cuffed it. When his other arm got the same treatment, he very nearly cried out, but he was determined not to show weakness and instead bit his lip so hard that blood flowed into his mouth.

“You have the right to remain silent,” the cop shouted over the other officers and the fast approaching sirens. “Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Changes/notes:  
> 1\. Ray does actually dies in the heist of course, but I changed it here. Originally Ryan was going to save him but I decided to give Geoff a moment. I love unnecessary drama!   
> 2\. The jeep that hits Ray in this chapter was actually the Dubsta driven by Geoff in the video. I changed it to show how focused Ryan is on the objective since he din't go crazy mad on the "jeep."  
> 3\. I didn't realize this until re-watching this video while writing this: Ryan really does almost get mowed down while at Ammunation and never notices it. Ray just barely snipes the clerk in time and the shot was crazy close to Ryan's head. I re-watched it a few times, it is pretty awesome.
> 
> Jeremy has a heist now! Huzzah, that changes my upcoming sequels! I have the next 3-4 chapters of this ready to go, all original content leading into the Prison Break heist, and most of them will be uploaded today. Consider it my apologies for so long between updates. Enjoy and stay tuned for the completely impossible escape from the crashing Titan!


	26. Nothing Can Kill Us Except for Each Other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Crew defies the laws of physics and Jack considers a career in inspirational speaking.

In years to come, Jack would find it hard to get the scene out of his head: Geoff diving for the controls, the explosion from the back of the plane, the heat, the blood, and the screaming.

Michael and Ray had been at the end of their group, closest to the blast but strapped in the Titan’s side seats. Michael and Ray would escape crashing into the walls and ceilings, but they would not escape the flames. Michael ripped his burning jacket off and beat it out first and then turned to use it on Ray, who screamed--not yelled but screamed--as his pant leg caught fire.

Ryan was the poor man caught dead center of the plane, protected by nothing at all. As soon as the tail exploded, he was thrown forward and into Geoff. Jack too was flung forward, but his grip on the netting held. Still, he smashed face first into the side of the plane, pain streaking across his head as the vision in one of his eyes went literally red.

Jack groaned and picked himself up. He didn’t have time for the pain. Thinking fast, faster than he ever had in his life, he knew they had to get off the plane before it crashed. Yes, cops waited below, but arrest was better than dying. Burnie and Matt could bail them out...or at least one of them. They weren’t happy with them true, but there was one person they wouldn’t leave to rot in jail, he hoped.

They had agreed beforehand: get Geoff out.

Jack leaped for the cockpit and wrenched Ryan off of Geoff, noting quickly that Gavin had been stabbed in the side by one of the controls and Ryan was unconscious. Jack couldn’t worry about that. Geoff was their leader and the one who had been stupid enough to believe in all of them and they owed him for that. Jack was going to give him a chance first. He hauled Geoff up, leaving Ryan’s limp form on the ground, protected for a moment by the cockpit’s walls, and pulled Geoff roughly from the cockpit. Jack swung Geoff out of the cockpit and held him fast against the suction coming from the gaping hole in the back of the plane. He shook Geoff hard enough so that he focused on Jack for a split second.

“Pull your chute!” Jack shouted and then let go of his friend. Geoff streaked away from him, past Michael ad Ray, out of the back of the plane, and out of sight. Jack prayed he’d done the right thing. He stumbled back to Ryan and pulled the man upright.

In the cockpit, Gavin groaned and came awake. He pressed a hand to his aching side, feeling a lot of wetness at the contact. He struggled to his feet and fell over Ryan, landing in the co-pilot’s seat. Jack reached in and hauled Ryan up as Gavin stood and tripped his way out into the main part of the plane. He was shocked to see that the once long body of the Titan ended abruptly in the middle, a jagged hole where the tail and engines had been. The suction from the atmosphere was threatening to rip them all into the sky but they were miraculously all still alive and hanging on tight to walls and each other. 

“Everyone get ready to jump!” Jack yelled. 

Gavin fumbled for his parachute in the seat beside him and had just grabbed it when there was a deafening crash to his left and the world spun weirdly on its axis. At first he thought he was passing out from the agony in his side, but then he realized it was the plane. It had started to spin, having hit the left wing against something. Gavin felt his feet start to slide across the floor before he gripped the cockpit door fiercely and crouched, trying to keep his feet on the floor.

Michael was not so lucky.

Michael was just trying to figure out where his own chute was, having just unstrapped himself and Ray, when he felt his feet leave the floor of the plane. "Fuck!” he shouted as the centrifugal force not only wrenched Ray out of his grip, but also yanked his feet completely out from under him. Ray made a frantic grab for Michael as he was sucked out of the plane, his hands closing around Michael's leg. Michael was sucked out as well but managed to garb the edge of the opening. He nearly lost his grip as Ray’s weight dragged at him, but he hung on. The pair of them dangled. Michael’s arms screamed in protest as he and Ray were buffeted by the wind outside of the broken plane and Ray clung to Michael's leg for dear life, nothing but sky around him as Michael hung halfway out of the plane and Ray dangled uselessly below.

“Michael, Ray, hang on!” Gavin shouted.

“Gavin there’s nothing you can do!” Jack shouted when it appeared that Gavin was going to jump out at them without a parachute. “Get your parachute on!”

“Michael, hang on boy!” He’d get the parachute on and he’d help Michael. Neither he nor Ray had a chute. If Gavin could just get to them…

“Gavin!” Michael shouted, fighting to hold onto the plane and to Ray. Already his grip was failing.

“Hang on!” Jack yelled. “Gavin, make your way carefully toward Michael and Ray. Grab them and get out! Your chute may hold all three of you.” It was unlikely but what else could be done? 

Gavin nodded and took a step forward. Michael swore suddenly startling them all. Michael had one last fleeting look at Gavin, Jack, and the unconscious Ryan before his grip failed and he and Ray were hurled into the darkness.

Gavin and Jack both screamed and Gavin let go of the cockpit. He was sucked out of the back by the spinning plane, his flailing arms slamming into Jack and knocking him off balance. Jack cried out as he and Ryan both were wrenched out of the plane behind Gavin.

Gavin tucked his flailing limbs in tight to his body and tried to dive, tried to angle his body toward Michael and Ray, but they were too far away falling too fast for Gavin to ever catch them. 

“PULL YOUR CHUTE!”

Gavin automatically obeyed Michael’s yell, heard even over the roar of the wind in his ears. He yanked the ripcord and his fall slowed. He watched in numb despair as Michael and Ray shrank away as they plummeted to the ground below.

Jack struggled to control his fall having been knocked askew by Gavin. He was spinning crazily, still hanging on to Ryan’s parachute, barely, as the night sky and ground and wreckage blurred into one big swirl of color. He dragged his other hand against the force of the fall and grabbed Ryan’s other parachute strap so they were facing each other. Jack seized the ripcord and pulled.

Ryan’s chute fanned out behind him and yanked Ryan sharply upward and out of Jack's’ grip. Jack didn’t wait and popped his own parachute, wincing as the drag pulled at him. He blinked a few times, shaking the dizziness of the fall away and looked around in vain for the others. He prayed Ryan either woke up or had a soft landing but Jack had done what he could.

During all of this Michael was falling through the air, Ray still holding his leg as they twisted, turned, and smashed into each other. Michael had no parachute, nothing to stop the dirt below from slamming into him and devouring him. Despite his promise to Lindsay, he wasn’t going to make it home this time. 

“Michael, grab my hand!” Ray shouted.

Michael looked at Ray who was level with him. Michael was facing upwards, his back on crash course with the ground and Ray still gripped his leg, falling face down. Their current position meant Ray could reach for Michael's hand with one of his own and Michael was able to grab for him firmly, though to what end he didn’t know.

Ray let go of Michael’s leg while still retaining a firm grip on Michael’s wrist. One arm was free of his hoodie and he fumbled to free the other. They were falling so fast, they didn’t have much time and Ray had stupidly thrown his hoodie on over his parachute after Ryan had strapped him into the seat. Struggling against gravity he finally managed to shrug free and the hoodie flew away into the night. Michael whooped triumphantly when he saw the parachute strapped to Ray’s back.

Ray’s grabbed for Michael’s other hand and pulled. “Grab the straps!” Ray shouted. “Tuck your arms all the way in and hang on.” Michael did as he was told, fighting the force of their fall and the fact that his heavier weight was dragging them down. They were so close now, if they didn’t pull the chute soon, they would never make it. 

“On three,” Ray shouted. He wrapped one arm around Michael, promising himself to make a no homo joke if they survived this “One--!”

“JUST PULL IT!” Michael screamed.

Ray yanked the cord and the parachute exploded from his back. There was a huge wrench in his back and a faint snap and Ray saw a strip of fabric go spiraling past them on the air’s current.

“It broke!” Michael shouted. “Fuck. Ray!”

“Hang on!” Ray yelled, fumbling for the emergency cord.

“Oh God damnit, do something Ray!”

“I’m trying,” Ray said, cursing the idiot who put the emergency cord right between him and Michael. 

“RAY!”

“Hang on!”

The back-up chute fanned out and mercifully held. Ray just managed to grab onto Michael before being yanked sharply upright as the parachute gloriously unfurled. Michael’s weight against his grip nearly wrenched his arms from their sockets, and Michael cried out in pain as his arms protested at the sudden shift in speed, but they held on and so did the chute as they stabilized in mid-air and began to drift.

“Woohoohoohoo!” Michael yelled, grinning maniacally. “Ray, you son of a bitch, you saved our fucking lives!”

“Yeah well,” Ray said with a relieved grin, despite the pain still creeping through his leg. “Just don’t get any ideas about me holding you like this again. No homo.”

All of the floating Achievement Hunters drifted on the air's current away from the wreckage of the Titan. Jack, Ray, Michael, and Gavin all stared at the burning metal husk of the plane as it streaked towards the ground. It wasn’t long before the deafening boom of an explosion rang out again as it made landfall and fire erupted on the ground below them, unfurling and lighting up the sky.

But a soft breeze carried them away from the wreckage towards the very same neighborhood where Geoff had (unbeknownst to them) been grabbed about one minute before. They wouldn’t burn in the fire ripping across the foothills of Mount Chiliad below, they would land safely away.

Although how safe they really were was anyone’s guess. Had Geoff made it? Were the cops following their air antics? They had all fallen at different times and speeds and after their initial falls, they had no way of seeing each other. No doubt their parachutes made them prime targets and the police would soon be on them all, but the darkness may work in their favor. Police were below, but they seemed to be moving away. They all hoped so. If not, how would they ever escape on foot?

And more importantly was Burnie even now loading his gun and preparing to intercept them?

A crackle of static met Jack’s ears. The earpieces, inoperable at the height they had been flying at were slowly coming back into range as they got closer to the ground. Jack scrambled for the mic, tugging it closer to his mouth. “Hello? Geoff is that you?”

“Hello? Jack?” the male voice shouted.

“Oh thank God!” added a second voice, female. It was Kerry and Lindsay. 

Jack was relieved for a brief second before he continued scanning the skies for any sign of his friends. He had no chance to see what had happened to Geoff, Gavin, Michael, or Ray. He knew the latter two did not have chutes but he didn’t want to be the one to tell Lindsay that.

“Jack, what happened to the others?” Lindsay asked frantically. “I only see four parachutes.”

“I’m here!” Gavin said mournfully. “But Michael…he—he…

“He and Ray decided to share a chute because we are such good friends!”

“Michael!” shouted Lindsay, Kerry, Jack, and Gavin in relief.

“We’re ok,” added Ray. “But your husband is heavy as fuck.”

“Not my fault you have girl arms!”

“All right enough!” Jack shouted over them. There was still one voice he wasn’t hearing and it filled him with dread. “I got Ryan out. He’s out cold but safe until he has to land.” Jack winced. “Is there any sign of Geoff?” There was a very pregnant pause, one that Jack hoped would be interrupted by Geoff’s sarcastic bravado. “Geoff!” nothing. “GEOFF!”

“Listen,” Kerry said after a moment. “We were following you guys in the AH mobile once you lifted the tank. We were hoping to provide back up. You’re floating away from the wreckage and the cops which is good. I’ll pick you up as you land, but we have to be quick. The cops will be all over us in a minute as soon as they get past the debris.”

“We can’t leave,” Gavin said. “Not without Geoff!”

“Gav’s right!” Michael said. “We know he got free, we saw Jack throw him out.”

“I know he popped his chute,” Jack added. “Wait…” he said dreadfully. “You said four chutes. One for me, one for Ryan, one for Gavin, and one for Michael and Ray. Was there a fifth?”

He heard Lindsay sigh heavily and Kerry made an uncertain “Uh…” sound.

“And?” Jack asked, fearing that he knew the answer.

The Crew was so low to the ground now that they could make out individual bushes and trees and house on the small hill they were landing on. Looking down, Michael and Ray could see a car below them and tried their best to angle their descent, avoiding trees and stoplights. Gavin whipped his head around, looking in vain for Geoff as the pavement floated up to meet him. Jack said nothing waiting for Lindsay or Kerry to answer him.

“I tried to get to him, but I was too late,” Kerry said finally. “He jumped a few fences and had almost made it to the street when the cops rushed him from the surrounding yards.”

“They threw him on the ground and cuffed him before throwing him in the back of the squad car,” Lindsay said. “They got him, guys.”

Gavin landed with a thump and laid there processing the gravity of Lindsay’s statement. Michael and Ray stumbled into a landing in the middle of the street, Ray’s leg giving out so he sprawled painfully. A car pulled to a stop and they both looked up at a very pale Kerry and Lindsay through the windshield of the AH mobile. Jack felt sick to his stomach and Ryan--

Everyone snapped their heads up at a groan.

“What the--” Ryan’s voice came out groggy over their head sets. “Where am I--OH GOD!”

Everyone winced as they heard a loud crash, followed by rustling, and multiple yelps and swearing from Ryan.

“WHO THE FUCK THREW ME INTO A TREE?!”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It was chaos in Michael’s apartment. The smell of burning flesh and the tang of blood filled the air. Ryan’s arm was covered in mostly blood free bandages where the metal had been embedded in his shoulder. He also sported two black eyes, a busted nose, and a variety of leave and twigs in his hair and clothes. Jack blinked dried blood from his eyes, ignoring the stinging pain from his forehead cut and the matted congealed blood in his beard. Jack had bandaged his forehead after Kerry had stitched it together and managed to get Ryan to take some painkillers for his concussion. Now Jack and Ryan had Ray pinned on the ground as Kerry first sewed up his burnt leg and then smothered the blistered flesh in burn cream. Michael ignored the searing pain from his burns and he and Lindsay worked on closing up the gash in Gavin’s side.

“They got Geoff,” Gavin kept yelling from his position, stretched out on the dining room table, oblivious to the pain. “They got him. It’s all our fault!”

“We know Gavin,” Jack said through gritted teeth as Ray jerked wildly, his scream muffled by Ryan’s hand on his mouth.

“Fantastic, you know. Now what the fuck are we gonna do?” Michael shouted, stepping away from Gavin and slamming his fist down on the counter. “Burnie and Matt have probably already painted a target on our backs, the cops will know exactly where to find us, and I’d bet the whole crappy amount of money we’ve stolen that Geoff will get whacked in prison.”

“We don’t know that yet,” Gavin replied with a whimper.

“We don’t have time to find out either,” Ryan snapped. Kerry finished Ray’s stitches and went to help Lindsey finish off Gavin.

“We gotta get out of here before we get got,” Ray choked out as he sat up carefully, his leg throbbing.

“Ray’s right,” Ryan said, standing up and dragging his guns to him. “We split up our measly take and go our separate ways.”

“What about Geoff?” Gavin asked, shoving Lindsay and Kerry away as he sat up. He winced and pressed a hand to his side and Kerry forcefully pushed his arms away and resumed stitching.

“Fuck Geoff,” Ryan said after a pause. “He knew the risks. We all did.”

It was lucky that Kerry had just finished with him because Gavin leaped furiously off the table and tried to stand only to fall back down. That did nothing to quell his fury as he surged upright again. “You’re all a bunch of wankers, the lot of you! Geoff’s in the brig and you’re just going to leave him there? After we worked so damned hard trying to get him out?”

Ray and Ryan shifted uncomfortably. “Look I don’t like it either--” Ryan began.

“Then why’d you suggest it?!” Michael asked.

“Because as we have proven time and time again, we are the worst fucking gang this town has ever seen!” Ryan shouted, throwing his hands up in the air. “All we do is blow shit up, crack jokes, fail our jobs, and try to off each other. How the fuck do you suggest we even think about rescuing Geoff when we can barely take care of ourselves?” Ryan slumped down in the nearest chair. “They’re gonna kill him in there any way.”

“Nothing can kill us except for each other.”

Everyone looked at Jack, who had remained silent throughout the whole exchange. He stood up now, wiping the dried blood from his face and looking around at the gang before stopping on Michael. “Didn’t you say that during your heist?”

Michael shrugged. “Well yeah but--.”

“Why?” Jack asked.

“He was betraying us,” Ray said, not without some bitterness. “He thought it’d be funny.”

“Well yeah,” Michael said. “And it was pretty funny. But it was also true. The cops never could get us. The only times we ever came close to dying was when we messed up and almost took each other out.”

“Exactly,” Jack said with a grin.

“I don’t get it,” Ray said after a moment.

“We may be the worst gang ever,” Jack admitted. “We may be a bunch of incompetent idiots. We may even be a bunch of wankers like Gavin said. Hell we may even be dead by the time I get this speech out because let’s face it, Burnie is coming for us. But there is one thing we do really, really well.”

“Pause dramatically when making points?” Ryan asked.

“We fuck shit up better than anybody else in the world,” Jack said, choosing to ignore Ryan’s jibe. “And the only people who can kill us are…?”

“Each other!” Michael said, pumping his fist in the air. He got it now.

“So you’re suggesting we can successfully break Geoff out of jail, which is impossible, because we are really good at chaos and destruction?” Ryan asked skeptically. “We are supposed to have faith because we always screw up?”

“Hey Geoff always had faith in us,” Jack pointed out. “That may have landed us here, but he always believed in us. We can do it. We’ve proven in our heists that we all have our strengths. Now it’s time to see if we can throw down when it really counts.” 

“But we failed!” Ray said. “Every time. We failed hard. Geoff believed in us and we failed. How are we supposed to pull something this huge off?”

“No one has ever broke out of Los Santos lock up,” Ryan added. “Ever.”

“I know all that, but Geoff may have had it wrong from the start,” Jack said. “The answer was never to let us each take turns leading. The answer was to work together. That’s what Michael and Lindsay did and it worked. Maybe not for everyone, but it did work. Hell, even this last heist worked, we just ran into a fluke when we flew too high. And look what we did when we failed then! Do you all realized we managed to parachute out of a crashing plane like a bunch of god damn action heroes! Who even does that in real life?”

The gang exchanged rueful smiles

“Look we fail every time because we strike out on our own or don’t tell the others what we are doing or planning or thinking...or goof off or we pretend to team kill like Ryan just because we can or because it’s funny.” Ryan glared but made no denial. “If we actually work together though, for real work together, our dumb luck and our strange invulnerability may just be crazy enough to work.” Jack looked around at the gang. “If we can’t get it right for Geoff, then we’ll never get it right. This time we either succeed or die. What do you say?”

Gavin was the first to move. Holding his side, he grit his teeth and willed his aching legs to support his weight, which in all fairness was easy since he was so scrawny anyway. Gavin grinned at Jack and put his busted aviators on, not caring that they dangled uselessly from one of his ears. “Let’s do it.”

“Yeah,” Michael said enthusiastically, zipping up his tattered wolf jacket. “Team Nice Dynamite 100%.”

“Tuxedo Mask is ready to roll,” Ray said, “W.A.F.F.L.E.-O.!” He tied his charred eye mask back on and turned to Ryan who had not moved nor blinked. “R&R Connection?” The group looked at him and he just stared stoically back at them.

“What if I promise to let you lead it?” Jacks asked much to everyone’s surprise.

Ryan said nothing.

Jack sighed wearily and closed his eyes. “And if I promise to find you a cow and let you use it however you want?”

Ryan’s grin spread slowly over his face. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the crumpled skull mask he had stashed there before the last job and pulled it over his head.

“Then I say ‘All hail the Mad King.’” 

But it was Lindsay who asked the question on everybody’s mind.

“Where are we going to find a cow?”

She didn’t know if the five grins of pure evil that came in response were comforting or terrifying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the interest of providing perspective, here is the timeline for the crash  
> Impact to Geoff being thrown out: One minute.  
> Impact to Gavin, Jack, and Ryan falling out: Three minutes  
> Impact to Geoff being arrested: ten minutes  
> Impact to contact with Kerry and Lindsay: thirteen minutes  
> Impact to Ryan hitting the tree: Fifteen minutes.
> 
> The crash really only takes about three minutes. Most of the elapsing time is spent parachuting. It seems longer because of all the descriptions and the action. Hopefully it's relatively believable and if not, hopefully it was fun to read. I wrote this purely for actiony fun!


	27. Never Go Cakeless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kung shoe and cake can fix anything, even murder and jail.

Burnie Burns approached his car with a frown on his face. He didn’t like how things had transpired with the Fake AH Crew. Yes they were a threat to their credibility and yes they managed to fuck up the most simple of tasks given to them, but the fact remained that they were still more than just the Syndicate’s gang front. Geoff had been in Burnie’s apartment all those years ago with Gus recording lines for Red vs. Blue in a closet. Jack was one of the first employees Rooster Teeth had ever hired, Gavin had been a community member and friend almost since the inception of Rooster Teeth, Michael was one of the funniest guys on staff and he and Lindsey were just starting their family, Ryan was their own resident mad genius, and Ray was the best gamer in their arsenal. They had been around so long that they were friends, no—  
family, to everyone at Rooster Teeth. Could he really kill them?

Burnie’s frown deepened as he stood by his car, thinking hard. Matt was boss now. Burnie had stepped down long ago when he realized Matt had more of a head for both business and operations, and because Burnie missed production and field work. What Matt says goes, but he could be a cold mother fucker. Could Burnie really act as Matt’s right hand and destroy the Crew? He could yes, he was good at what he did as the Syndicate’s executioner. He had only been called on a few times, mostly for schmucks who deserved it, but this time...it would be worse. More personal, more unfathomable. Was he really going to hunt the Crew down? Maybe he could claim that had run too far and too fast for him. No, Matt would turn on Burnie and Burnie had a family to think of. Maybe the Crew had died in the plane crash and Matt’s informant was wrong. Maybe—?”

“Hiyah!”

Burnie spun around at the voice reflexively and ducked as a shoe came hurtling out of the darkness at him. He knew that calling card and once upon a time he would have flung his own shoe back. That was how Kung Shoe worked. But this wasn’t once upon a time, this was now, and he had his orders.

Burnie pulled his gun and aimed straight ahead, squinting into the dark. “Hands where I can see ‘em Gavin.” he said sternly.

Gavin stepped out from behind a nearby dumpster, his hands raised and his face grim.

“God damn it Gavin,” Burnie said sadly. “You were supposed to run.”

Gavin shook his head. “You’re not gonna shoot me Burnie,” Gavin said fiercely, no trace of his usual glee in his voice. “We both know that.”

Burnie cocked the hammer back on his gun. “I don’t have a choice, Gav,” Burnie said, kicking himself for using the nickname. He was supposed to remain detached. He was screwing that up royally.

“Yeah you do actually,” Gavin argued. “You can let me go, let the lot of us go, and do what we do best.”

“Screw everything up like idiots?” Burnie asked wryly.

Gavin grinned. “Yeah, pretty much.”

“I have my orders,” Burnie said.

“So do I,” Gavin replied. “Jack said to get you to stand down. That’s what I am doing. Even if you shoot me right here, at least I tried.” Gavin took a step forward and Burnie tensed, both wanting to pull the trigger as conditioned and fighting the impulse out of guilt. “You won’t shoot me.”

“Don’t move Gavin,” Burnie said angrily.

“We’ve been friends for over half my life,” Gavin continued, oblivious to Burnie’s internal battle. “You’re really gonna kill me just because some pleb told you to?”

“That pleb is my friends and boss,” Burnie said. “He’d kill Ashley,” he pointed out naming his girlfriend who also worked for the Syndicate. “He may even go after my kids. What choice do I have?”

“Just one,” Gavin said with a sudden cheeky grin.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Burnie stiffened at the new voice and at the feel of cold steel pressed against the back of his neck. God damn it, Gavin had been a decoy hadn’t he? Sure enough, the other members of the Fake AH Crew stepped out from behind buildings and dumpsters and the odd leftover car here and there.

“Drop the gun, Burns,” said Ryan, his voice like iron.

Burnie swore and did as he was ordered. Jack stepped forward, in front of Gavin with his own gun trained carefully on Burnie’s forehead. He looked as fierce as Burnie had ever seen him and he realized that in Geoff’s absence, Jack had taken up the mantle of leader.

“I’m not going to shoot you, Burnie,” Jack said calmly. “I just want to talk.”

“Talk while having the Mad King hold a gun to my head?” Burnie spat. “Yeah, really comfortable scenario for a chat.”

Jack shrugged. “You and Matt left us no choice. Besides it’s not just any gun, it’s Marshall’s gun. Remember? From the last execution you performed?” Marshall had been employed a brief time for the Syndicate and executed shortly thereafter by Burnie for reasons unknown. Matt was in the habit of keeping trophies from the executions. It had been Jack’s idea to use one such trophy against Burnie. He knew Burnie did what he had to do, but each execution he did haunted him. If they could play his guilt, they may have a chance. 

“How ironic,” Burnie said, rolling his eyes. Inside though he was nervous. He hadn’t regretted that last execution, but the secrecy Matt had wrapped around it still ate at him.

“I wouldn’t say ironic,” Ray said with a mocking grin. “But it is odd in unexpected ways that defies our normal circumstances.”

Michael face palmed. “Fuck Burnie, I’ll shoot YOU for making a Red vs. Blue reference.”

“And you are all misusing ironic!” Ryan snapped.

“Look, what do you guys want?!” Burnie finally snapped. “Either kill me or let me go so I can shoot all of you! Either way stop dicking around!” Burnie huffed angrily. “Christ, no wonder you guys never got anything done.”

Ryan thumped his pistol against Burnie’s skull, hard. Burnie stumbled forward and turned to take a swing at the guy, but Ryan cockled the hammer back. “Not the smartest move, Burns.”

“Easy Ryan,” Jack said calmly. “Let’s not make this worse. Look Burnie, all we want is for you to back off for the next 36 hours. Unfreeze our assets and let us do what we need to do.”

“Which is?”

“Bust Geoff out of lock up.”

Burnie laughed bitterly. “It can’t be done.” he said. “You guys know that.”

Ray shrugged. “Yeah but it’s worth a shot. We either succeed and you all have Geoff back or we fail and very clearly die in the attempt. Either way, you and Matt’s problems are solved.”

“You think busting Geoff out will really convince Matt that you aren’t a bunch of fucking morons?”

“Like we give a shite about his opinion,” Gavin replied instantly. “We’re doing it for Geoff. We let him down and now we gotta fix it. He believed in us, even when you and his other oldest friends told him not to.”

“But yes we do think Matt will be convinced,” Jack said, cutting across Gavin with a glare. “If we pull off something no one else has, our street cred will go through the roof. If we can do that, a new set of jobs will be a walk in the park.”

“It can’t be done!” Burnie snapped. “You’re out of your god damn minds!”

“So that’s it then!” Gavin shouted. “We either shoot you here and paint a bigger target on our backs or we let you go and you murder every bloody one of us. After all these years that’s it? We’re done? We’re just bloody done?”

“I dunno,” Ryan said menacingly. “Are we done, Burnie?”

Burnie looked at Gavin, Jack, Michael, and Ray. Each one of them had been something to him. He knew in his gut that Matt's course wasn’t the right course. He felt the loss of Geoff even more acutely, but there was no hope of Geoff ever getting out.

Unless he let the Crew go. If he did there was a small chance. Abysmal, maybe, but a chance.

Burnie sighed heavily. “No...no we’re not done yet.”

“Well,” Ray said cheerfully as Ryan lowered his gun. “If we’re not done, let’s get started.”

Michael growled in frustration. “God damn dude, enough with the damn quotes!”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Geoff sat in the interrogation room, the cold metal of the handcuffs cutting into his wrists as he stared at his hands resting in his orange clad lap. A faceless cop was practically spitting in rage at him but Geoff paid little attention. He was more focused on his tattooed hands, specifically where he had tattooed one of Millie’s drawings so many years ago. He hadn’t been allowed to see Griffon or Millie when they attempted to visit him. It was probably best, he didn’t want Millie to see him like this.

“--grand larceny, property damage in the hundreds of thousands dollars, accessory to murder, punk like you should be shaking in his God damn boots right now!” the cop shouted at him.

Huh. So much work for so much nothing.

“You have no proof my client was involved,” the public defender lawyer said tiredly, almost disinterestedly. Gone was the high price lawyer on RT’s retainer. Matt and Burnie had left him to rot in prison. By now his gang mates were surely six feet under or in hiding. It would explain why he wasn’t locked up in here with them. Just his roommate who he spent every night fighting off. Geoff shuddered involuntarily.

“Yeah you better be afraid you no good--”

Geoff sighed tiredly as the guy continued to rant. This was his life now. All that work for nothing. He’d never get out, never see his family again, and never see his Crew again. Despite the fact that he partially blamed them for his fate, he still missed his stupid friends and he didn’t regret letting them try.

Much.

After another hour of the lawyer and Geoff giving the cop a whole lot of nothing, the guards came to escort him back. He walked through the halls of sneering and jeering fellow prisoners, enduring taunts and threats directed to him and his Crew. Kerry hadn’t been wrong, they had achieved some notoriety for their antics. Simeon thugs who had not posted bail seemed particularly hateful seeing as how they kept using his marked vehicles for their heists. It didn't matter. Geoff kept his face calm, his glare fierce, and his head held high. He would not show weakness.

He was halfway across the prison yard when something slammed into him from behind, nearly knocking him over and causes the guards escorting him to drop him. A random prisoner was swearing at Geoff, waving a shiv and lunging at him. The guards were knocked aside, but recovered quickly, abandoning Geoff to secure the trouble maker. Several other inmates dove into the row and before Geoff knew it the yard was swarmed with guards and he was ducking blows, kicks, stabs, and punches while cracking heads with his metal cuffs. He be damned before he went out like a bitch

Two guards came up on either side of him and dragged Geoff away, fighting him tooth and nail as he struggled to stay in the fray, intent on venting some of his frustrations. The guards were too strong. Before he knew it, he had been pulled back inside and was being escorted in his cell.

“You cocksuckers!” Geoff shouted, jerking at his captors’ grips. “Go to hell all of you. You mother fucking bastards!”

They were at Geoff’s cell now and all but threw him in there. Big Dong was nowhere to be seen, probably still tangled up in the brawl outside. More prisoners were being escorted back to their cells and the noise coming from them all was deafening. Instead of rushing to their aid, one of Geoff’s guard’s stood in front of his cell blocking Geoff from view. Geoff started to yell more profanities when the guard withdrew something from his pocket and dropped it in between the bars of the cell.

A box?

“What the hell is this?” Geoff spat, suspicious of any cop, prison guard or no. The box was a small rectangle, about twice the size of his palm. It was shaped like a book but thicker, like a 500 page book. How had the guard concealed it? Why?

“You have five minutes,” the guard said calmly. “Use them well.”

Geoff raised an eyebrow but before he could speak a low buzzing met his ears. The box was vibrating with a low muffled sound. He knew that type of buzz. Cautiously, Geoff reached for the box and opened it and blinked at its contents.

A small, slightly squashed cake, baked to look exactly like the cake in Minecraft, was in the box. That was odd enough. What was even odder was that thrust into the top, like some ridiculous wedding cake topper, was an iPhone—a ringing iPhone.

“Jesus Christ,” Geoff said, part blown away, part exasperated. He grabbed the phone just as it stopped ringing, but he didn’t even have a chance to dial before it rang again. The caller ID lit up and the contact name “Bif Top Johnny” popped up on the screen

Geoff laughed helplessly and desperately. Those mother fuckers. They were alive. They were alive and God damn if they didn’t have a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the last of the filler chapters! I wanted to flesh out Burnie a bit more, particularly since he is my favorite out of everyone at RT, and show the Crew finally working together and achieving success...for now. Next up we get into the Prison Break!


	28. This Time We're Stealing Geoff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prison Break starring the Fake AH Crew!

It was a bruised, battered, and nervous group that convened in a bare room in a warehouse in downtown Los Santos. Ryan stood before the rest of the Crew who were all looking up at him like he was going to lead them to victory. Lindsay was in the corner filming, intending to leave a record behind so that their families and maybe Geoff would know what they had tried. Kerry was scrounging together weapons and equipment for them outside of the room. Their resources were limited and Ryan wasn’t the most confident that they could do it.

But they had to do this. Not for their own lives, but for Geoff.

“Well boys,” he started slowly, a nervous grin creeping onto his face.

“Hi Ryan!” Gavin chirped, waving and grinning at Ryan. Gavin did what he did best and broke the tension. Ryan felt the room relax as Michael, Jack, and Ray all chuckled.

“Good to see you all back in the room,” Ryan said. It wasn’t their room, it was an off the grid room in an abandoned warehouse where Matt would hopefully never find them, but it looked the exact same as their conference room, their heist room.

“I’ve got my backwards chair going, I’m serious this time,” Ray quipped.

“We had a successful series of heists,” Ryan said, pausing as the others scoffed.

“Almost a pure success last time,” Michael pointed out. “Gavin,” he said and they all glared at the Brit.

“My bad,” he said. “We exploded a bit.”

“I tried to sacrifice myself for nothing!” Ray said with a shrug. They were all grateful to be alive that they couldn’t bear too much animosity towards Gavin, and to be fair, it wasn’t his fault the Titan stalled…much.

“Problem though,” Ryan said as they fell silent again. “You may have looked around the room…”

“I don’t smell whiskey,” Gavin joked, though a slight tinge of sadness came with the comedy. 

“I don’t smell mustache,” Jack added, though no one seemed to catch his joke.

“We’re short by one member,” Ryan said. “Geoff got knicked. He got got, as he would want it said. So he’s in the pokey.” Ryan turned to the map behind him and stabbed the spot on the map where Los Santos prison was with his finger. “He’s in the pokey. We gotta go get him. So this time…we’re stealing Geoff.”

“Hell yeah,” Ray said.

“Geoff is the package!” Gavin said happily.

“Geoff heist!” Michael said with a grin.

“Here’s the thing about Geoff though,” Gavin said as Ryan made to speak again. “He only likes to travel in style. How are we going to retrieve him?”

“That’s true,” Ray said. “He’s probably wearing a suit in prison.” The others laughed. Geoff did love his suits. They went well with his tattoos and crazy facial hair.

Ryan frowned and rubbed his chin in thought. They had to get this one right, but there was no reason they shouldn’t throw some of their usual flair in there. Geoff would appreciate that. And if this was to be their end, they needed to go out with one hell of a bang. If they focused they could add their crazy and still succeed. Unconsciously, Ryan met Jack’s eyes almost as if asking for his seal of approval. Ryan may be the lead, but Jack was Geoff’s right hand man. He would know best if this was the right course.

Jack understood Ryan’s searching look. He nodded and encouraged Ryan to do what felt right.

“I got it, we’re gonna get him out in a limo!” Ryan said excitedly. And if that limo happened to be bulletproof well...Ryan didn’t think it would cramp the style.

“Now we’re cooking,” Gavin said excitedly.

“So we’ve sent him a cake,” Ryan said, eliciting more grins as they remembered the Minecraft cake they had made for him and sent to prison with one of the crooked guards they had found. “He can get out of his cell, but we still need to get him out of the walls.”

“Send him another cake!” Gavin suggested.

Ryan paused and gave Gavin a weird look. “A wall cake?” he asked dryly.

“With a rocket launcher in it,” Michael said sarcastically. “Duh.”

The others laughed even Ryan. “Then it’s over, we’re all done. We just sent him two cakes, we paid a baker off and we won.”

“Well someone needs to go get the flour, the sugar,” Jack said with a grin.

“Well assuming that that plan fails,” Ryan continued, “we’ll need a limo, which Ray I believe you have one still?” That you can hopefully get to, Ryan didn’t add.

“I have one yes,” Ray confirmed. Luckily he had stored his vehicles in a private location away from his apartment so that Matt and Burnie wouldn’t be able to get to them. He liked to be prepared and he stashed them in case he ever had to make a getaway.

“Awesome,” Ryan said, relieved. “Michael, you’ll be the driver.”

“Yeah, I’ll do it,” Michael said. “I’m being classy this time.”

“You gotta get suited up!” Gavin said excitedly.

“Anyway we obviously have to get it in there somehow. The only way to get it in there is cargobob,” Ryan said pointing at Jack, who nodded. “The problem is that police and prison guards will be all over you,” he said to Jack and Michael. “We need get some kind of distraction, we gotta get everyone away from where the Geoff is. What do we got?” 

Ryan was gambling a bit here. Sure, he could come up with the whole plan himself, but the closest they every came to a full success and full survival was when they worked together. That was the way to go this time so he resolved to let them all plan part of this or at least have input.

“Tank?” Michael finally suggested. He still had the ex-military contact that was his and Ray’s source alone, not a contact used by the Syndicate. He could still call in tanks.

“Tank,” Ray and Gavin agreed together.

“Tank is very distracting,” Jack agreed. He seemed to recall a flying tank raining down chaos not too long ago.

“What about a tank raised up like a turret,” Gavin suggested, miming a tank pointing at a downward angle.

“Oh yeah like on top of one of the guard towers,” Michael added, picking up on Gavin’s train of thought.

“Yeah,” Gavin said excitedly. “Or a hill!”

There was brief pause that Jack broke by bursting into laughter. “Or a hill,” he repeated. They went from bad ass tank squashing guards on a tower to being parked on a hill. Only Gavin.

“A tower! Or a hill. Or a high elevated position of some kind!” Ryan joked with Jack, shaking his head.

“As long as it stands above the walls,” Gavin said defensively.

“Sniping downward,” Michael added.

“Ray, you want to do that?” Ryan asked as son as Michael said sniping. Ray was their best shot after all.

“Yeah I can do that!” Ray said with a vicious grin.

“All right so tank, but we need to know when those guys are getting out of the way,” Ryan said, thinking ahead. “We need….uh…oh, an eye in the sky!” He pointed to Gavin who had suddenly a very thoughtful look on his face.

“That leaves Team Love and Stuff,” Gavin said slowly pointing between himself and Ryan as he thought things through, “to get a bird in the air…and look down the eye thing. Uh, I mean camera!” he hastily corrected himself as the others laughed.

“He says bird a lot,” Ray said cheekily. “Do you mean an actual bird, a helicopter, or a woman?”

“Yeah he said bird and then did this,” Michael added mimicking the gesture Gavin had down. He had pointed two fingers on his one hand downward and made a circle with his thumb and forefinger with the other hand. He was miming looking down a camera lens, but he looked like he was miming fingerfucking. “That will not get Geoff out of prison.”

“Hey hey hey,” Ryan said firmly, cutting across them. “What happens with team Love and Stuff in the air is really not for public knowledge.” They all laughed again and refocused. “But we’ll watch. We can tell you guys,” he said to Michael and Jack, “team cargobob…team LimoBob?”

“Sure,” Jack said rolling his eyes.

“It’s official!” Ray crowed.

“We can tell you guys when everyone is going over to Ray’s side. You can cargobob in, get Geoff into the limo, and then get Geoff out.”

‘We need to get some whiskey first to lure him in,” Gavin said.

“Oh I’ll load it up,” Michael confirmed. “Can you buy drinks at Ammunation?”

“Convenience store,” Gavin said.

“One of the places we’ve robbed,” Ray added with a grin.

“So you guys will take him out,” Ryan continued. “You have to get back in the limo, the limo has to get cargobobbed out. Meanwhile we’re gonna need another mode of transit, we gotta shake ‘em off.”

“A limo in the air is not very inconspicuous,” Gavin said sagely. “We need to get that thing on the ground, but moving.” He emphasized his point but sliding his hand through the air to simulate a moving vehicle.

“Well it’s got tires…it could drive,” Rays said dryly.

“Uuuuuuuh…”Gavin said rubbing his chin and thinking. “Well that would be rubbish!” Too boring, too plain, Gavin didn’t like it.

“That’s true,” Ray said as the others laughed. They had to buckle down for this true, but they didn’t want to be boring about it.

“You know what we haven’t used yet,” Ryan piped up. “We haven’t used a train yet!”

“We tried in my heist,” Ray pointed out somewhat bitterly.

“But we didn’t use it,” Michael said, very bitterly.

“But here’s the thing about a limo,” Gavin said. “Perfect size for one of those train cars! We can just bung it in there in the bucket thing!”

The Crew all voiced agreement. A train was a good way to shake the cops and have a safe, non-explodable form of transport for the whole Crew. Ryan mulled this over. They had choppers and tanks and limos (oh my!) and now they had a train. They had almost every class of vehicle, except one.

“Boats!” Gavin said as though he was reading Ryan’s mind.

“Yes!” Ryan said excitedly. “The train that does the loop at the top of town goes over a bridge!”

“So we can get Geoff out of the limo at that point,” Gavin continued picking up on the weird train of thought he and Ryan seemed to both be following. “We’re all on the train at that point. We all dive off the bridge!”

“YES!”

“Into the boat that’s waiting?” Michael asked.

“Yes, one of Team Love and Stuff is going to scope out the train track as soon as we call a go so we can get a track on where the trains are,” Ryan said planning it as he spoke. “The other one’s gonna get a boat and then the boat will be waiting under the bridge.”

The Crew agreed except for Ray who asked, “What am I gonna do in the tank?”

“Kill!” Michael said immediately.

“That’s a good point,” Ryan mused, scratching his head. “Oh, you can just drive. After they cargobob out, drive and get on the train.” Ray would be safe in the tank and it would be difficult for him to go all noble as he seemed prone to doing lately. Ray nodded.

“Hopefully by the time the train gets to the bridge, the boat will be waiting,” Gavin summarized. “Five people will dive off the train into the water without hitting any rocks…” Gavin paused and crossed his fingers nervously, “fingers crossed, then we drive off into the ocean!” 

From there they had to hope they could shake the cops in open water and that Matt would welcome them back into the fold with Geoff in tow. No one had the nerve to say it out loud.

“Yes,” Ryan finally said. “I like it.”

“Good plan,” Ray agreed.

“Agreed,” said Jack who had been unusually quiet.

“We got this,” Michael said confidently.

Ryan took just a moment to size them up. He felt focused, he felt in control. Gavin seemed locked in, judging by how he was able to not only follow Ryan’s plan but contribute so significantly that the others were a bit unnerved about how in sync Team Love and Stuff was. Michael was quiet and listening carefully, making minimal jokes but asking important questions as was Ray. Jack had remained mostly silent, letting the Crew take over but Ryan could see the worry on his face for Geoff and them all. Still Ryan had a feeling that the now temporary leader of the Fake AH Crew approved their plan and believed in it. That was important.

But more important was getting Geoff out.

Ryan looked at his watch. They were a minute out from the next phase of their plan. Kerry had contacted the crooked prison guard he knew and used the last of his savings to pay him off to pass Geoff the phone and cell key stuck into the cake they had provided. (It had been Geoff’s new iPhone thrust into the cake with Gavin’s cell number newly programmed in as Bif Top Johnny.) Lindsay had a buddy in prison she paid to work in conjunction with their crooked guard friend to incite a riot on schedule and their newly hired support guys in Achievement Hunter, Matt and Jeremy, were keeping a close eye on Matt and Burnie, prepared to tip them off if it seemed like Burnie was going to move against them. They had only been hired a few weeks ago so they escaped Matt’s wrath against the Crew but they had come from the AH Community and were very loyal to Geoff and the Crew. It was a fragile operation with many tenuous factors but it had to work. They had no choice.

“All right should we call Geoff?” Ryan asked.

“Let’s do it!” Jack said.

Gavin whipped out his iPhone and pushed the home button to wake up Siri. “Call Geoff.”  
Siri beeped indicating she didn’t understand. Shocker considering Siri was an Apple product and when do those every work correctly?

“Call Geoff!” Gavin repeated.

“Now it’s already taken longer than dialing,” Michael grumbled.

They all crowded around the iPhone as Gavin switched it on to speaker phone and laid it on the table. The phone was ringing and there was an air of excitement. The phone worked. It was working. It was ringing.

And ringing.

And ringing?

The phone stopped ringing and went to voicemail. Gavin tried again and again they sat there and listened to it ring.

It went to voicemail again.

“GOD DAMN IT, GEOFF!” Gavin screamed suddenly at the phone startling everyone. Ryan and Jack exchanged a concerned look. Not only was Gavin clearly way more upset about Geoff’s predicament than they guessed, but Geoff wasn’t answering. Had their pan already failed?

“Here,” Michael said calmly, though his faced was lined with worry. “Let’s try one more time,” he said tapping the phone and dialing again.

“He’s probably playing Destiny,” Ray said, attempting joke.

“Yup,” Jack said as the phone rang, “playing Destiny in prison.”

Ryan forced a chuckle.

“…Jesus Christ…”muttered a voice desperately from the middle of the table.

“Geoff!” Gavin cried excitedly. Everyone else yelled hey excitedly into the phone.

Back in the prison Geoff clutched the phone so hard when he heard the sound of his Crew’s voices that his knuckles cracked. They were all there, they were all ok. They had a plan. He would have collapsed in sheer relief if he wasn’t so desperate for freedom “Hello?” he asked tentatively, hoping they were still there.

“Can you hear us?” Ray’s voice asked.

“Yeah!” Geoff’s said weakly. “Listen—prison sucks! Get me out of here!” he wiped sweat off his bow looking around nervously. The prison was still rioting but the guard warned him he didn’t have much time. “My roommate, I mean cell mate…he calls me Sex Butt!”

The crew laughed, so beyond relieved to hear his voice and hear that he was alive and well…ish.

“His name is Big Dong,” Geoff snapped, glaring at the phone. How was any of this funny? Fucking assholes! In three seconds he went from relived to the point of tears to knowing they were alive to wanting to fucking murder them all slowly.

“Geoff we’re coming to bust you out alright?” Michael said bracingly.

“Thank you!” Geoff said shakily.

“We’ll give you the signal and then use the key in the cake,” Gavin said.

Geoff tore the cake in front of him apart and sure enough someone had stuck a cell key in it. Geoff palmed it and held it tightly in frosting covered fingers.

“We’re gonna do it in style,” Jack added.

“You’ll know when the plan is happening,” Michael assured him.

“Ok,” Geoff said nervously as the sounds of alarms and the shouts from guards increased outside. He looked up at the guard who was signaling him to wrap it up. “I’ll try to get a weapon of some sort,” Geoff said quietly so the guard couldn’t hear.

“Good luck!” Ray said encouragingly.

“Hey Geoff make sure you don’t—“

There was a beep and the call ended. Geoff yanked the phone away from his ear ans stared at the home screen in confusion. “What? Gavin? Hello?” he raised the phone back to his ear and met silence. The call had disconnected. Oh God! Had they been caught? Had Matt found them? Did the prison know he had the phone?

Geoff swallowed hard. There was no time. He had to hide the key and the phone, but where? He had no pockets and the underwear he wore in prison wouldn’t hold the phone. He had nowhere to shove it out of sight—

Geoff suddenly froze as he remembered where Big Dong liked to shove things. Oh fuck. He knew where he could hide it.

“Son of a bitch!” he grumbled.

Back in the conference room the Crew laughed as Gavin disconnected the call midsentence with a cheeky grin. They weren’t sure if they were laughing because of how panicked Geoff could be or if they were laughing in giddy relief at hearing Geoff’s voice. They just knew that they felt a lot better than they had since the moment the Titan had blown up and it was worth it to go out on a high.

But they wouldn’t fail. Not this time.

“All right let’s go” Gavin said and the Crew filed out of the conference room, except Michael who was watching them go with confusion.

“What was Gavin going to say?” he demanded of Lindsay in the corner. 

Lindsay dissolving into laughter was Michael’s only response.


	29. Who Am I?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackie Chan in not featured in this chapter in any way, shape, or form.

Burnie was sweating buckets as he stepped into Matt’s office, a fact he was sure would not be lost on Matt. He wasn’t at all confident in the choice he had made to let the Crew go, but in the end a choice wasn’t something he really had. If anyone else but Ryan had the gun on him, he may have risked an escape attempt, but Ryan was not the Mad King for nothing. He was just crazy enough to pull the trigger if Burnie had so much as moved.

Matt turned from his computer and looked over the rims of his glasses at Burnie. “Is it done?” he asked casually, far too casually for a man who was asking if five people had been successfully murdered.

Burnie looked at Matt, an unassuming man in glasses, a nerdy T-shirt with definitely a definite tired parent look about him. In that moment he hated him. Burnie hated how casually he played with the lives of everyone in the Syndicate. He hated how Matt had turned this company that Burnie had created into a vehicle for crime and misdeeds. He hated how Matt had everyone by the throat and sworn to the Syndicate while he acted like they had a choice.

Crime was the Los Santos disease. Burnie had thought they were above it. Had he known Matt disagreed, Burnie never would have let him have control.

His thoughts must have shown on his face because Matt turned fully away from hiss computer and looked at Burnie with a puzzled expression. “What happened?”

“You did,” Burnie said darkly.

Matt’s brow furrowed. “What?”

“How did we get here Matt?” Burnie demanded. “We started off to make so funny videos and build up this community of nerds. We started recording lines for Red vs. Blue in a closet and using apartments as offices to make sketch videos and game playthroughs. We built one of the best damn communities on the internet and had the most loyal employees any company would ask for. Now each of our endeavors is a front for burglary or drugs or international smuggling. We’re split into people who like the crime and people who know they face injury or worse if they back out. Why?” Matt didn’t answer. “What’s it all for Matt? Why did we sink as low as every other sorry ass business in Los Santos?”

Matt sighed and removed his glasses, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “So you didn’t take care of the Crew.”

“No,” Burnie snarled.

“Why?”

“Because I won’t kill my friends,” Burnie said firmly. “Any of them. And I won’t leave Geoff to die in prison.”

“Not much of a choice there,” Matt pointed out. “Thanks to the money sink they have created I can’t pay his way out, even if I wanted to.” That was a lie and Burnie knew it.

“The Crew is going to break him out,” Burnie said.

That caught Matt off guard. “It’s impossible.”

“Not for them,” Burnie said. “They have been known to pull of the impossible. Escaping from a crashing plane for example.”

Matt sighed again. “I understand having faith in your friends and colleagues but don’t you think you are over estimating them?” Burnie shrugged. “Even if they pull off this miracle, once they break out they will be on the run. They won’t be any use to us.”

“They’ll be alive,” Burnie said. “I can live with that. And you are going to help them if they break out. You will pay off whoever you have to ensure that once Geoff is out none of them go back. Ryan and I have taken care of evidence. You just need to provide the funds.”

“Evidence?” Matt asked.

Burnie grinned at that. “Simeon is about to have a very bad day.”

Matt rolled his eyes. “Simeon is a dick.” He frowned and though Burnie’s words over for a minute.

“I ordered them dead,” Matt snapped finally. “Why would I help them?”

“Do you really want me to answer that?” Burnie said, leaning forward and bracing himself on Matt’s desk so they were directly eye level. A tense moment passed between the two men and Burnie inside was close to losing his shit. But eventually Matt turned away. Matt may have been their leader, but they would be nothing without Burnie. They would crumble form within without him and everyone at Rooster Teeth knew it.

“I will not help them,”’ Matt said. “But I won’t stop you. I’m not stupid enough to kill you.”

“This isn’t over Matt,” Burnie said shoving away from the desk.

“We’ll see,” Matt muttered as Burnie left.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“We just walked out in style!” Michael crowed excitedly as the Crew left their warehouse and spilled out into the street. It was true. They had slid back the giant door and walked out in a line, loaded down with the last of their weapons and ready to raise hell. If they had ever looked or felt more like a gang, they couldn’t remember when.

“Ray call in your Limo if you can,” Michael instructed as they walked through the deserted parking lots and alleyways, seeking the street and the sidewalk.

“I can,” Ray replied already dialing.

“We also need a tank,” Ryan called to Michael who also pulled out his phone.

“And I’ll call in a chopper,” Jack said.

“Ryan we need to find a Maverick of some sort,” Gavin mused, scrolling through his phone and trying to figure out who he could call.

“So we’ll grab a ride to the airport,” Ryan said sauntering over to a nearby parked car. He raised his elbow and slammed it into the window, smashing it to bits and setting off the alarm. It was less than a minutes for him to silence the alarm and disable the tracker that Simeon stashed in all of his “sold” vehicles. Gavin laughed at Ryan’s quick and violent work and hopped in beside him.

“Hey are you guys driving to the airport?” Jack asked. “Let me get a ride with you.”

“Here you take this one, I’ll get my own,” Ryan said breaking into another car. He looked specifically for a Simeon tracker before breaking in and hotwiring it. This was part of his and Burnie’s plan and had been a technique Ryan used frequently: plant as many Simeon vehicles as necessary.

“Get your little asshole in here Jack,” Gavin said, revving the engine of the first stolen car.

Jack did so, narrowly missing Ray as he ran past swearing. He was running down the street, heading towards the limo that his mechanic had delivered really fucking far away for some reason.

“All right, let’s go to the airport!” Jack said as he and Gavin took off. Grinning he started to sing (to the tune of Let’s All Go to the Lobby), “Let’s all go to the airport…let’s all go to the airport!” the others joined in for the last one. “Let’s all go to the airport!”

“And save Geoff’s asshole from rape!” Ryan finished gleefully.

The Crew laughed and Gavin immediately crashed into a tree because he was laughing so hard.

“Somewhere I like to think he heard that,” Jack said. “Like maybe if he’s in the yard right now and he perks his ears up to the sky.”

“What do you think Geoff’s doing right now?” Ryan asked.

“Sex butt,” Michael replied instantly as Gavin added “He’s probably got a tight grip on the soap.”

Back in the prison, Geoff sneezed violently and rubbed his suddenly burring ears.

Gavin still did not have the best handle on American driving so as he flew around the corner of the sidewalk, he was literally on the sidewalk. Pedestrians jumped out of the way and shouted profanities at them. Jack raised his middle finger and waved it out the window. “Fuck you!” he cried. They passed some more staring pedestrians and he laughed and shouted “Fuuuuck yooou! Hey everybody…fuck you! Woah…fuck you!” As they blasted down the street he laughed hysterically and shouted fuck you to every car and person they passed. This went on for a good five minutes before Gavin rolled the window up to stop him.

“Jack is so easily entertained by himself,” Gavin grumbled shaking his head. “He is entertained by no one else but himself.”

“Oh wait, my chopper is right here,” Jack said suddenly, pointing out at the airport on the other side of the highway wall. “I’ll jump out.” Gavin slammed to a stop (literally slammed, into the wall in fact) and Jack hopped out and leaped over the wall to run for the cargobob.

“See if there’s a Maverick, Gavin,” Ryan instructed.

“There is,” said Gavin squinting up through the windshield at the Maverick that was coincidentally hovering just above him, “but it just took off.”

“So shoot it down!” Ryan replied impatiently.

“Um…”Gavin winced as he imagined the Maverick and his entire being going up in flames. Still he got out and leveled his sniper rifle, gazing through the scope as Ryan also approached the airport.

Jack had reached the cargobob and a read gleam caught his eye. “Hey Gavin is this what you need, this red thing?” he asked.

Gavin breathed a sigh of relief as he looked toward Jack and saw the red Maverick. He didn’t have to shoot the other one down now.

Ryan pulled into the airport alongside the Maverick as Gavin jogged up. “Do you want to fly or should I?”

“No, I’ll do camera,” Gavin said remembering how well his last flight went. He and Ryan climbed in, Gavin’s rifle discharging by accident and cracking the glass windshield.

“Jesus, dude!” Ryan yelled as he ducked, but the shot went nowhere near him. He fired up the chopper and lifted off, noting movement to his left. “Hey look there’s the pilot, take him out!”

Gavin popped his head up over the mounted camera. “Take him out, what with?” Gavin looked through the camera as the pilot, realizing the men taking his chopper were armed, took off running. “He’s gone!”

Ryan set the chopper back down and hopped out, raising his gun in one fluid motion and firing. The pilot went down in a spray of blood. “No he’s not! Take off!” he instructed Gavin, who fumbled his way into the front seat and lifted off as Ryan climbed back in.

“Why am I driving?” Gavin yelped.

“Because I got out for murder!” Ryan snapped back.

While all of this was going on, Michael and Ray had picked up the limo and were driving to the tank drop-off point. Rather, Michael was driving and Ray was in the front passenger seat doing his fuck train arms and softly saying “Woo woo” like a train into his headset. He looked around as Michael pulled into the horse track. “Is this where the tank is, on the fucking track?”

“Yeah,” Michael said. “Look there it is.”

Sure enough, parked on the track was a giant army tank. Ray shook his head and got out. How inconspicuous.

“Ray has secured his tank,” Michael informed the others.

Jack changed direction and flew towards the track. “Hey Ray, do you need me to help you get in position with your tank?”

“That would help,” Ray said.

Jack flew towards the track to secure Ray while Michael drove off in the limo in search of a clothing store that could provide him with a nice, albeit cheap, chauffer getup. Gavin and Ryan realized that they should probably change positions before Gavin crashed in the only Maverick they had been able to find. Gavin assumed the natural place to perform this switch was on top of a bridge.

“Oh God, Oh God, Oh God,” Ryan said watching the ground below sway back and forth as Gavin clumsily tried to land on the smallest space ever. “Gavin, seriously?!

Gavin finally landed it and Ryan climbed up front. Gavin hopped out before realizing that the camera prevented him from getting in on the side. He couldn’t walk to the other side either without a big drop and much death. Growling under his breath, Ryan carefully lifted the helicopter, turned it around and landed again in half the time it to Gavin to land the first time.

“You guys really need to get your shit together,” Michael told the pair.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“This is a big prison, dude!” Gavin said looking through the camera at the prison sprawled below the hill. “How do we find Geoff?”

“That’s what you guys are for!” Jack said, “You’re surveillance!

“Oh yeah,” Gavin said.

They had found a hill just by the prison, close enough to give them a good view and Ray a good shot but far enough away to where no one in the prison would notice the tank on the horizon, the cargobob hovering around it, and the circling, bright red chopper.

Hopefully.

Michael was still trying to find a clothing store but his GPS was not cooperating in the limo. He knew Los Santos well, but not the past out in the stick at the base of the mountains. He cursed as he drove around, trying to find something, anything at this point.

 

“It is so hard to find shit in this town!” Michael growled.

“Where are you?” Ryan asked, landing the chopper and pulling out his phone. Jack, with the help of Ryan and Gus Sorola, had programmed it so the Bluetooth connections for their headsets could be pulled up on a map so they could keep track of each other. They were relieved that Jack had stashed some of the headsets in the abandoned warehouse before they went AWOL from Rooster Teeth. They hoped no one would think to track them that way.

“Oh there you are,” Ryan said looking Michael’s ping. He cross checked it on the GPS and found a clothing store that was nearby. “Just get on the main road and drive straight down, there’s a store on your right.”

“Ok I’ll drive, you be my GPS,” Michael said, pulling back onto the road.

“Go left,” Ryan instructed, eyes fixed on Michael’s now slowly moving dot. “Good, keep left.”

“Ryan,” Michael scolded. “GPS doesn’t talk like that.”

Ryan sighed. “Please continue on this road for one and a half miles,” he said in a smooth, half robot, half phone sex operator voice. “Your destination will be on your right next to a man flexing his arm and a convenience store.”

“Thank you!” Michael said, following the directions his RyanPS gave him.

“Wow that’s really up to date GPS software,” Gavin said with a laugh.

“You are approaching your destination,” RyanPS said to Michael.

“Oh you know what, I see it!” Michael said cheerfully as the clothing store came into view.

“BONG!” Ryan said, mimicking a GPS alert. “Turn right now.” Michael did and parked. “You have arrived at your destination.”

Michael got out of the limo and started to walk into the store, but drew up and tuned around to lock the limo. With is luck it would be stolen. “Hang on I gotta lock my limo, if it’s 2002 someone might steal my Ryan.”

“Boop BOOP!” Ryan said mimicking a car lock (poorly). “I will wait hear for you master. Don’t forget me!” he added in a singsong voice.

“Jesus Christ,” Jack said, half laughing half shuddering at Ryan’s creepiness.

“I think the GPS is coming self-aware,” Gavin said giggling.

Michael emerged a few minutes later in a suit and tie, which Gavin caught on camera as they were circling him. Jack had parked the cargobob nearby but had to hastily lift off as a car came speeding for him. Unfortunately, his take off was jerky and veered too far to one side. Before he could correct, gravity took hold and Jack was dumped from his cargobob with a shout. He slammed into the dirt below with a painful thud.

“Jack NO!” Ryan yelled as the chopper swung across the road.

The cargobob hit the gas station across the street and exploded, sending cars and metal flying into the street. Ryan just barely dodge a flying helicopter blade as he stared at the fiery ruin.

Silence fell.

“Well Jack’s dead,” Gavin said hollowly. “I caught that on camera.”

“What the fuck happened?” Jack’s voice said. Gavin zoomed the camera lens down on the ground as Ryan climbed up away from the flames. Jack was getting to his feet dusting himself off. The cargobob had only been a foot off the ground when it dumped him out so he had landed hard, but relatively unscathed. The others sighed in relief.

Jack kicked a rock in frustration before moving away from the fire so that Ryan could pick him up and take him back to the airport for a new cargobob. As they flew over Michael and his limo, Gavin chucked a parachute out of it and narrowly avoided hitting Michael in the face. Michael grabbed it and drove back toward the prison while Ryan, Jack, and Gavin fetched another cargobob.They dropped Jack off at the airport and returned to the prison.

While they were waiting for Jack, Gavin and Ryan and Ray took a few minutes to recreate an iconic scene from the movie Who Am I? starring Jackie Chan.

“I miss Geoff’s sweet voice,” Gavin said sadly while they continued to wait for Jack.

“Ooh do you wanna call him?” Ryan asked. “We can call the butt phone, send up the butt signal!” Ryan whipped out his phone and searched for the number, putting it on speaker so everyone could hear.

“Do you think when it rings, his rectum vibrates?” Ray asked with a laugh.

The phone call connected. “Geoff, Geoff are you there?” Ryan asked.

“Hello?!” Geoff’s voice sounded fearful and frantic.

“It worked!” Michael yelled.

Down in the prison, Geoff gripped the phone as all three million pounds of Big Ding advanced on him. The man was massive and his eye were soulless. He had a toothy grin plastered on his inhuman and Geoff’s ass clenched in terror. “Hang on,” Geoff said to his friends then he yelled at his advancing cell mate. “No, I already told you Big Dong, there’s only room for my phone there.” Big Dong grabbed for Geoff’s ass but Geoff darted away. “I need to keep my phone there!” Geoff shouted hysterically. “There’s no more room!”

The phone that he just realized was in his hand. No wonder Big Dong was suddenly advancing.

“Guys!” he wailed. “I need to get out of here!”

The Crew as torn between laughter and horror. On the one hand, this was hilarious to listen to. On the other hand, Geoff really was in trouble. They had to act fast, they were likely already compromising the mission by calling Geoff. Who knew if a guard would hear his pleas about his phone?

“The phone is in his hand right now so Big Dong can have his way!” Michael pointed out.

Just then the buzz of a cargobob sounded in Ryan’s ear and he turned to see Jack flying into position near Michael, who was already on top of his limo ready to hook it into position.  
“I think we’re ready to go!” Ryan said.

“Geoff we’re about to bust you out!” Michael yelled even though Geoff couldn’t hear him.

“Geoff, it’s time to spring from your cell,” Ryan told him, his palms starting to sweat. What if Geoff couldn’t get out? What if they failed? Geoff would be shot for fleeing and they would be shot by the police for helping him or shot by Burnie for failing him. This had to work.

Jack hooked Michael and Michael clambered his way into the front seat. Neither of them said a word. They just focused. They were more focused than they had ever been in their life. This hinged on them and their ability to get inside the prison and get out. They had to do it right they could make no mistake.

Ray slithered down inside the tank and swung the gun around to face the prison. One more job. One more job, save Geoff, and they could live to fight another day, He may be able to get out if they brought Geoff home. He just had to rain hell. He could do that, He channeled all of his anger at Matt and at the way things were run now with the Syndicate and focused on his target. No prisoners, no mercy, no mistakes.

“Geoff which building are you in?” Gavin yelled. He was nervous. The prison was big and if he and Ryan couldn’t spot Geoff, Jack and Michael couldn’t get him out. They had to get him out!

“Hang on,” Geoff said dodging his roommate and fumbling for the key he had hidden in his orange jumpsuit. He approached the cell and saw no guards looking this way. A broken bottle was scratching at his chest where he had hidden it. “I’m backing away slowly,” he said, to both Big Dong and Gavin.

“Pack up your things, pull up your pants, let’s go!” Gavin shouted.

“Oh, is it time?” he said.

“YES!” roared the Fake AH Crew.

“Finally!” Geoff yelled and let the phone drop. He also dropped the fear and dropped the pathetic pleas and reached into his shirt, pulling out the bottle. He ducked under Big Dongs outstretched arm and slashed at his throat with quick precision. Blood sprayed and Big Dong dropped like a sack of potatoes. Geoff unlocked his cell just as quickly and ran down the hall. He took the approaching guard by surprise and once again lashed out with his bottle, slitting the guard’s throat too and relieving him of his pistol as he fell. Geoff rounded the corner and shot twice, felling two more guards as the alarm sounded and the prison went on lock down. He dashed down the hallways, looking for the exit he had carefully planned for. He sprinted up a flight of stairs into the kitchen, the shouts of guards ringing in his ears, and went for the nearest stove. He turned on the gas, grateful that Los Santos penitentiary was too cheap for electric ovens, and moved past the ovens to the barred windows. He faced the door, waiting with an insane grin on his face. His plan was crazy, but crazy was his Crew’s forte. Only they could pull off something like this.

The prison guards charged in the room, coughing at the overwhelming smell of gas and they trained their weapons on Geoff. Geoff maintained his smile and kept the gun low, out of sight.

“Hands in the air!” One guard shouted. “Hands in the air or we will shoot!”

Geoff’s grin broadened. “Me first.”

Geoff fired at the stove before the guards knew what was happening. The bullet pinged against the metal stove and sparked. That was all it took. Geoff ducked as the stove exploded, shattering the glass and blowing out a section of the wall near him. Fire raced over head from the cloud of gas that had ignited and Geoff smelled burning flesh and singed hair He could feel shrapnel raining down on him, but he didn’t hesitate, He flung himself out on the metal roof through the jagged hole in the wall, dropping the empty gun.

Even if things ended right here, he had made sure that this prison and this town would never forget him and his escape or forget the Fake AH Crew.

“Come and get me!” he shouted to the sky, praying his friends could hear him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your eyes do not deceive you--this is an update! I hit a long string of writers block, life events, and general laziness so this took forever. With this chapter we only have TWO left, and one of them is already written. The next update will be the last!
> 
> You'll notice a lot of the banter from the video was cut here and while I hated to do it, most of it didn't make for good writing, hilarious though it was to watch/listen to in the video. Also the video bleeps Ryan when he is singing about Geoff's asshole so I am taking a stab in the dark and guessing as to what he actually said.
> 
> Finally, I know that Geoff could not pull of the thing with the stove, but I had to figure out how to get something to explode since the explosion tips the boys off to Geoff's location in the video. I wanted to give Geoff a bit of a bad ass moment too since he IS the leader of the Crew.
> 
> See you all next time for the thrilling conclusion!


	30. Chaos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The escape is on and what would it be without a little chaos?

“PULL!”

“What the hell—?” Gavin said jumping a mile at Ryan’s yell. Something in the distance caught Gavin’s eye and he zoomed the camera in. Something was flying over the wall on the opposite side of the prison. It was large, brown and…mooing?”

Geoff saw a cow arc over the wall heading straight for his position on the roof. Geoff let out a strangled yell and dove to the side, but the cow luckily fell short. Instead it hit the ground just as some hapless prison guards came charging outside. The cow and the guards exploding in a shower of blood and guts.

“RYAN!” yelled everyone, including Geoff, who had thought to grab the still active phone.

“Jack said I could!” Ryan shot back. “Thanks guys! Now get the trebuchet out of here before someone sees.”

“You’re welcome!” said the voices of Matt Bragg, Jeremy, Lindsay, and Kerry in everyone’s ear.

“What the hell?” Jack said but the four just laughed and disconnected their headsets.

“You have a trebuchet?!” Michael screamed at Ryan. “How the fuck?”

“Don’t ask, don’t tell,” was Ryan’s only reply.

“I’m definitely not gonna ask,” Jack said through clenched teeth and he hovered over the limo. Michael was trying to hook the limo to the cargobob but was having difficulty.

“I’m having issues picking up this thing!” Jack burst out.

Geoff crouched behind a tin roof on top of the prison as gunfire rained down on him from below. “YOU THINK YOU’RE HAVING ISSUES? I’M HAVING ISSUES!” he roared. “GET ME OUT OF HERE!”

“We’re coming in Geoff, we’re coming in!” Michael said as he finally got the oblong vehicle secured to the chopper.

“Oh are we going?” Ray asked dully, having missed the explosion.

“Make some distraction Ray,” Michael said.

Ray straightened his hoodie and pulled the gun into position. The place was crawling with guards and cop cars and Ray put them all in his sights. Two cop cars pulled alongside the prison and three panicky police officers spilled out. They didn’t make it two steps before Ray fired the gun, obliterating the cops and their cars.

“Oh I’m making plenty of fucking distraction,” Ray said evilly.

“Geoff, where are you?” Gavin asked frantically He was zoomed in near the explosion they had seen moments ago, but he couldn’t get eyes on Geoff.

“I’m hanging out on the corrugated metal roof,” Geoff shouted into his phone, flinging himself flat on the ground as more bullets streaked towards him. Pieces of debris from the helicopters being destroyed but what he assumed was tank were crashing around him and he prayed he wouldn’t get hit by one. “I’m hearing explosions!”

“Ryan swing around I need to get angle on him!” Gavin squawked.

“I’m looking right at the thing, what more do you want?” Ryan snapped. He was nervous up in the air. Why had they picked a red Maverick? They were a huge target. Ray was keeping them safe so far, but who knew how long that could last?

“I can’t see him,” Gavin yelled. “He’s hidden by the bit of roof!”

“Oh you want me to move,” Ryan said as comprehension dawned. “That’s not swing around, that’s move!”

“Go in closer,” Gavin said as Ryan spun the chopper around and flew in towards the metal roof Gavin was staring at.

“Do we have an eye on him yet?” Jack asked as bullets and explosion rang out above them. He didn’t know how much longer he and Michael could sit here without getting hit.

Geoff took a perilous moment to peek above the roof while there as a lull in fire from the ground. He saw bits of police helicopter on the ground below him. Guards had been crushed by debris. Geoff leaped to his feet and waved his arms frantically trying to signal the red helicopter he could barely make out in the distance.

There was a flash of orange slightly to his left and Gavin turned the camera. “I see him!” Gavin shouted excitedly as Geoff ducked down again. “Straight ahead of us! Go!”

The limo shuddered and Michael hung on unnecessarily tight to the steering wheel as Jack lifted him off the ground. To Jack’s relief the sky was clear for the moment and the limo was much lighter than an armored truck.

“Geoff you need to look for your transportation,” Michael said and Ryan relayed the message over the phone for Geoff. “You should see it in the sky.”

“Look for a limo,” Ryan added.

“I don’t see it,” Geoff said nervously, all the while thinking about how they could possibly get a limo in and out of the prison without dying. It wouldn’t be much of an escape if they died. He stood again and ran out on the roof to try to get a better view and as soon as he did, he saw the cargobob to his right with the limo dangling below it.

“I see him!” Jack said excitedly as an unexpected feeling of relief overwhelmed him. He hadn’t realized how worried he had been about his friend and boss.

Gavin kept the camera trained on the roof as Jack and Michael drifted into view. He made sure the camera was recording this moment, they needed to send it to Matt as soon as they escaped. It would be their only shot. He couldn’t help but grin as the cargobob lowered the limo carefully onto the roof.

“This is an amazing shot!” Gavin said excitedly.

“Put it on the roof!” Ryan yelled as Jack made to drop the limo on the ground He didn’t have faith in Geoff’s ability to jump from roof to limo and live.

Jack went lower and Michael felt the tires brush the ground as Jack swore into his headset.

“Put it on the roof!”

“The roof!”

“Put it on the roof!”

“The roof’s at a fucking angle!” Jack shouted in frustration as he got a full look. It would be next to impossible to pick the limo back up at that angle, especially as all fire would be trained on them.

“Who cares?!” Ryan yelped as Michael shouted “Who gives a shit!”

“Fine, fuck it,” Jack growled.

“I’m glad you fucking changed the plan because it’s at an angel—FUCK!”

Michael’s rant was cut off as Jack, tired of the ridicule, hit the button and unceremoniously dumped the limo onto the roof with a loud clang, nearly decapitating Geoff. Michael’s head cracked against the roof hard as the limo bounced slightly.

“There you go!” Jack snapped as Michael unloaded a string of curses at him.

“Geoff get in the limo!” Gavin screeched, watching through the camera as he sprinted to the limo.

“Do I get in the front of the back?” he asked.

“IT DOESN”T MATTER!” Ryan shouted, throwing his hands up in exasperation. The nose of the chopper dipped and he quickly grabbed the controls again.

“Pick it up!” Gavin yelled to Jack as Geoff dove into the back of the limo. “Pick it up!”

Geoff slammed the door and was relieved to see Michael perched behind the steering wheel, wearing suit and top hat. He took a minute to savor the fact that he was with his Crew and out of that damn cell. Without preamble, Michael chucked a headset at Geoff who put it on as Jack lowered the hook above them. The sound of Ryan, Gavin, Michael, Jack, and Ray’s voices erupted in Geoff’s ears through the headset and he laughed in giddy relief. He was back with his Crew.

But they still had to escape.

Geoff popped his head through the sun roof as Jack tried to get the hook in position. They were tipped almost directly sideways so Michael was unable to drive into a better spot. Cop cars raced into the small courtyard of the building they were perched on and Jack heard bullets hitting the chopper as he tried to get the hook into Geoff’s hand.

“God it’s like bobbing for god damn apples,” Jack yelled.

Geoff, startled by the sound of bullets made a wild grab for the hook again and caught it. He struggled to latch it on top of the limo but after a moment he managed it and the entire vehicle shuddered. 

“We got, it we got it, go go go!” Geoff announced, flinging himself back inside the limo.

Geoff and Michael whooped as Jack lifted the limo up and away from the prison. Geoff slumped back into his seat and made a blind grab for the now mostly shattered minibar. He came up came up with a decanter of whiskey that he downed like a man dying of thirst. “Thank God!”

“Ryan, let’s head for the train,” Gavin announced as Geoff got clear. “Surveillance was successful!”

“And I’ll get the boat,” Ryan said as they flew away from the prison towards the train tracks.

Jack cleared the barbed wire fence and Michael let out a cheer. “Geoff, you just got probationed!”

Geoff grinned and Michael threw back a bundle of clothes. Geoff pulled out a rumpled suit and bowtie and grinned. He immediately shed his horrible orange jumpsuit and hastily pulled on his regular suit, which was no easy feat since the limo was swinging back and forth underneath the now groaning chopper.

Ryan landed the Maverick and dropped Gavin at the train tracks before taking off and flying to the creek where he had left his boat. He abandoned the helicopter, sticking it with the last of his C4 and sprinted down the hill into the water. The water was freezing but he swam out the boat and started the engine before blowing the helicopter to hell.

Speaking of helicopters blowing up, Jack was sweating as his helicopter made some frightening, all too familiar noises of death. “Oh man the chopper is hurt,” Jack warned the others. It must have taken more bullets than he thought while they were focused on getting Geoff and the limo.

“You’ve gotta make it to the train,” Ryan said as maneuvered the boat upriver. They had to make it to the train. It was the one vehicle that stood a chance of getting them away from the onslaught of cops that followed them. The tank would be fine, and was currently fine if the muffled explosions coming from Ray’s headset were any indication, but they couldn’t all fit in the tank and would probably get gunned down as they tried.

“I’m heading for the train,” Jack confirmed. The engines were barely smoking. He had time.

“We’re getting in a train?” Geoff asked suddenly, his voice cracking in distress. He was not optimistic about Jack’s ability to toss them in a train from a smoking cargobob. No one answered him.

“The train has not yet arrived,” Gavin said, more than a little panicky as he stood waiting beside the tracks.

Ryan swore. “Do a lap or something, Jack!”

“Do a lap,” repeated Michael incredulously with a humorless laugh.

“God damn it,” Jack said with a cough as the smoke from the engines increased. He was losing the chopper.

“Excuse me,” Ray said, rolling over a police car with a satisfying crunch. “Excuse me!” It felt like every cop in the world was on him, some (though not all) had even abandoned the limo and cargobob carrying Geoff. The cops must have thought that Geoff escaped in the tank because it was the most protected vehicle.

Wait…why hadn’t they just done that?!

“Fly back over Ray,” Ryan instructed Jack. “He can give you covering fire. Ray, don’t shoot the one with the car under it.”

“Yeah Ray, please don’t blow us up,” Michael added. “I have the high value target with me.”

Jack turned and began to head back toward Ray when a blast of heat came from his left. He looked back to see fire erupt from an engine and in the same moment his blades creaked to a stop. 

“There goes the chopper!” Jack said as the chopper began to fall.

“NO!” Michael and Geoff yelled in one long unending scream as the ground rushed up at them.

Not like this!

Jack let out a strangled yell and threw every bit of his strength backward, wrenching the steering mechanism back in a last ditch effort to resume flight. By some miracle, the blades slowly spun back to life and they pulled up slightly as the three men screamed.

“It’s ok!” Jack yelled as they gained altitude. By some miracle it was. “My engine spat fire and my blades stopped moving but it’s ok.”

“Psyche,” Ray said weakly.

Ryan pulled up the boat underneath the targeted bridge and cut the engine. He hadn’t heard from Gavin in a while. “Where’s the train?”

“The train never freaking arrived!” Gavin yelled, staring down his sniper scope into the distance, praying to see an incoming train.

“Does it have breaks?” Ray asked. His joke did succeed in shutting everyone up for half a second, but they immediately went back to yelling about the train.

Jack, still alive on whatever miracle was keeping them airborne was steadily drifting towards the tracks. “Where’s the fucking train?” The tracks were right in front of them now, he just had to hover—

Nope, the chopper plummeted suddenly, despite the blades still running and the limo bounced down on the ground. Jack tried to lift the chopper as it scraped the top of the limo.

“Don’t sit on us!” Geoff shrieked, ducking inside the limo as if that would help save him from being crushed by a thousand pound aircraft.

Jack hit the hook release and somehow managed to move the cargobob away from the severely battered limo. He was afraid it was going to blow up and he be damned if A) it blew up Geoff after all of this effort or B) it blew up with him in it after all of this effort.

Gavin had flung himself flat as an impending limo and cargobob tried to squash his face. He leaped back to his feet as the limo pulled onto the tracks in front of him and the smoking, flaming cargobob drifted away. “Go get another cargobob!” Gavin yelled to Jack. It was the only way to get the limo on to the train.

“The cargobob is fine,” Michael replied.

“No it’s not,” Jack said s the blades died again and the cargobob started beeping. “It’s doing the beeping noise now. It’s stopped moving.”

Michael craned his head around to look. “Huh. It’s bouncing across the ground.”

Jack brought the cargobob to a bouncy landing and flung himself out of it before it could blow up. Luckily it didn’t, but he was taking no chances as he sprinted away. “Now it’s dead.”

“Shit,” Ryan rubbed his face mask. Now what. They had to get the limo on the train before Ray arrived with the tank and what sounded like the entirety of the Los Santos Police Force. The trains were running late, that should give Jack enough time to—

“TRAIN!” Gavin shrieked. “There’s a train coming!”

Of course there was.

Michael strapped on his seatbelt and Geoff did the same behind him, gripping the battered yet comfortable upholstery of his seat. “I can try to jump the limo into the train,” Michael announced, looking back at Geoff who nodded in agreement. They had practiced that once and most of them had been successful. It was worth a shot.

“Ok, I’m going to get on the train and keep an eye on it,” Gavin said.

“I’ll get on the tracks,” Ray added. He broke off as something rammed him hard from behind. “Excuse me officers, that is quite rude!” he said to what he assumed was an overly excited police van. Now it just looked like twisted metal on his readouts.

The train came rolling down the track and Gavin ran full speed towards it as the bucket drew level. He flung himself into the air, threw in his sniper rifle, and grabbed for the bucket. In one fluid motion, he grabbed the edge of the bucket and vaulted the rest of his body into the car, rolling as he hit the ground. He stood up, grabbing his rifle as the wind from the trains speed whistled in his ears.

“I’m on the train!” he announced, giddy that he hadn’t face planted to his death.

Michael floored the accelerator, overtaking the last train car as he sped for the same bucket Gavin had landed in moments ago. “I’m going to try to get us onto the train Geoff,” Michael said and Geoff gripped his seat tighter.

“Alright Michael, let’s do it,” Geoff said. He trusted Michael...in theory.

Michael raced up a small incline of dirt, but it wasn’t enough. Instead of going airborne, they slammed into and scraped the side of the bucket, nearly flattening Gavin who squeaked and jumped aside. They bounced back on to the dirt track they had been using and Michael gunned the engine again.

“That was really close,” Gavin said as the limo sped ahead. “Keep going guys!”

“Just get on the tracks if anything,” Ray instructed while Jack added “I’m going to get a cargobob.”

“I’m in position,” Ryan added, realizing he hadn’t told anyone that he was ready with the boat. He hated this. He could only listen and hope they all got to him. He had all of the GPS blips from the Bluetooth headsets programmed onto his cell phone on the map so he could see where they all were, but it was little comfort. He felt helpless, something he was not accustomed to feeling. That wouldn’t matter though, as long as they saved Geoff.

“Here we go!” Michael announced again. He swung wide and then raced up and even steeper dirt mound. Geoff felt his stomach drop as the limo popped up off the ground and slammed into the bucket. The front wheels made it in, but the back did not. The back two wheels dropped back down to earth, causing the front wheels to be levered up and out of the train car.

“You almost did it!” Gavin said, watching from atop a large tanker car that was attached to the targeted bucket.

“C’mon Jack, we need that cargobob!” Ryan yelled.

“I’m getting the cargo bob!” Jack snapped back. He was racing for the nearby airstrip and his next cargobob, but he had landed far away from it. It was taking longer than he had thought and he knew it was costing them big.

“This limo has seen better days,” Michael groaned as the vehicle resisted his attempts for speed. “I apologize for the look of the outside Geoff, I hope the luxury is still inside. Enjoying that drink?”

“It’s gorgeous on the inside,” Geoff said reassuringly, downing the last of the whiskey to steady his nerves. He wished there was more booze, but all of the bottles had broken, though he was getting a partial buzz of the fumes.

Gavin peered through his scope and saw movement in the distance. He zoomed in and saw dozens of police cars, at least five police helicopters, and intermittent explosions. All of the cops seemed intent on the large, ungainly vehicle racing sideways down the train track, firing missiles at its pursuers.

“Is that the tank behind the train?” Gavin asked with an excited laugh.

“Absolutely it is!” Ray said and the others laughed in relief.

“Is the tank running cover for us?” Geoff asked, turning in his seat too look out the window. He could see the tank making its way towards them like an ungainly cavalry.

“Absolutely,” Ray said again, blowing another helicopter to hell.

Geoff turned back around and let it an excited whoop. “This is a top notch jailbreak guys!” And it was. Everyone was still in play, there was a tank between Geoff and the police, Gavin was safely on a train, Jack and Ryan were safe doing whatever they were doing—everything was working.

At long last the Crew had finally pulled together and they had done it—for him. He was rather touched. He would have been more touched if they hadn’t gotten him in trouble in the first place, but still, he had never appreciated is friends more than in this moment.

The limo jolted so hard his teeth clanked together, immediately dousing every nice though he had.

“We need that cargobob!” Michael ground out as he tried and failed to jump the limo onto the train. 

“The cargobob is incoming!” Jack replied. Finally, he had made it to the cargobob and was flying towards the tracks. Jack could see the train in the distance and the cops were not on him yet so they’d have a chance if he just get the limo off the ground.

By this point the cops were coming from all directions but they all ignored the limo and trained on the tank. Geoff winced every time a siren came near—he really didn’t want to go back to prison—but Michael relaxed as more and more police didn’t pay them any attention.

“Geoff, you see that?” Michael called reassuringly. “The cops never suspect a limo, they drove right by.”

“Yeah,” Geoff agreed weakly still clutching his seat.

“That really doesn’t look like a limo anymore,” Gavin said, peering at the severely battered limo through his sniper rifle’s scope. The front was bashed in on one side so that the whole limo was now gently curved in on itself. All of the windows had been shattered and the back door had ripped free at some point. It wobbled as it drove, and swerved of its own accord as Michael sped up. Gavin could see Michael’s top hat and Geoff’s pale face through the shattered glass as the bobbled and weaved.

“It looks like something Cruella deVille drove at the end of the movie,” Gavin said to laughter from Ryan and Jack. His description was spot on.

“Shout out to the 101 Dalmatians reference,” Ray said sarcastically.

The car was fighting Michael too much now for him to ram it up and over the dirt ramps bordering the track. Instead he climbed up onto the tracks themselves and stayed with the train. “We’re gonna follow it on the tracks,” he told Geoff.

“Jack, cut em’ off, turn right a bit,” Ryan said looking at the headset coordinates on his smartphone. “You’re falling behind them a bit.”

Geoff, sensing an absence of police (mostly because they were still following the invincible Ray in his tank, climbed up to the seat directly behind Michael and peered out of the absentee windshield. Night had fallen and he could see the train stretched out in front of him. He hadn’t seen the mountains or the night sky in days. He had missed it. Then he noticed Gavin was waving at him from the train.

“Gavin how did you get on the train?” Geoff asked, having missed the jump Gavin had taken.

“He jumped,” Ryan answered.

“You guys are awesome,” Geoff said, more than a little shocked they had gotten this far.

“Hey Geoff,” Gavin said suddenly with an ear splitting grin. “I missed you while you were in jail!”

Geoff laughed. “I missed you too Mic—uh Gavin!” Geoff tripped up on his words as he looked at what Michael was doing while attempting to answer Gavin. “I missed everybody!”

“Didn’t miss me enough to remember my name,” Gavin said sulkily.

“It’s be great if that chopper got here!” Michael yelled as the train tunnel came into view suddenly as the train and limo rounded the bend

“The chopper is coming,” Jack repeated. “Ok, where are you guys?”

“We’re behind the train!” Michael roared.

“We’re on the tracks!” Geoff cried.

“The bridge is coming up guys!” Gavin squawked.

“I CAN’T GO BACK TO JAIL!” Geoff shouted desperately.

Jack growled in frustration at the attitudes and his own bad timing, but he stayed focus. He flew in towards the train, caught sight of the limo, and lowered his hook. Geoff grabbed for it and started to secure it to the top of the limo as Michael began to decelerate.

“Keep driving, keep driving,” Jack yelled to Michael as the cargobob pulled ahead of the limo. The hook pulled taut against where Geoff had barely secured it and the wheels came up off the ground. The sudden rush of forward momentum threw Geoff back down into the limo.

“Geoff hang on!” Michael yelled as the limo lifted into the air.

The limo swung up...and tipped. The side of it crashed into the ground as Jack pulled too far ahead of it too quickly thanks to Michael slowing down. The metal scraped against the ground and Geoff slammed into the window as the entire vehicle turned completely on its side.

“Jack—AHHHHHHHHHHH!” Michael shrieked as the limo was drug across the dirt and metal tracks, sparks flying through the broken windows.

“Watch out for the rock!” Gavin warned.

It happened too quickly. A large boulder was half buried in the ground just off the railroad tracks and right in the path of the hapless limo. With a loud crunch, the limo hit the rock on its side and wrenched upright. Unfortunately this proved too much for the line and the cargobob. The hook pulled free from Geoff’s hastily latched rope and the line snapped. The limo slammed down on all four wheels and Jack’s chopper reeled and spun from the sudden release of weight.

“God damn it you threw us right off!” Michael yelled.

“What the hell?!” Jack double his grip on the flight controls and steadied the chopper

“Well when you fucking dragged us along the ground!” Michael didn’t care that it wasn’t a complete sentence. The limo was in real trouble now. He restarted the engine and guided it back onto the tracks. The limo was so dented now that part of his door was crammed right up against his leg and Geoff was sitting slightly to his left now because the limo was curved even more now from smashing into the rock.

Gavin turned away from the scene of the crash and looked down the tracks. The tunnel that had seemed at once so far away was now almost upon him. In fact the front cars of the train were already inside.

“We’re going through the tunnel!” Gavin yelled. “Hurry up!”

Jack couldn’t do anything. Without a new hook and without time he wasn’t going to be able to get the limo on the train. Ryan seemed to sense this and said to Michael “Plan B just follow it. The train is officially in the tunnel, it’s approaching the bridge.”

“Oh God damn it!” Jack yelled in frustration. He lifted up and over the mountain, frustrated that he had failed Geoff and Michael and the limo twice, but there was nothing for it. He had no choice but to land and head for the boat.

“Alright fuck it,” Michael said accelerating to catch up to the train which was now in the tunnel. “Jack needs to work on his hook work.”

Jack's’ response was 100% expletives and full of great feelings of hostility. 

“Let’s just go through,” Geoff said over the bickering pair.

“We’re just gonna have to jump off the bridge,” Gavin said, his voice echoing in the tunnel as the car he was perched on rushed into the semi-darkness..

“That works too, that’s still pretty cool!” Ray said as he flattened another police car,

“It’s still pretty amazing,” Gavin agreed.

Michael and Geoff had hit a particularly rough section of track that had jostled and bumped them greatly so they had missed the entire exchange. Geoff heard something about something being amazing and sensed he was missing part of the plan. “Alright what are we doing?” he asked.

“We’re gonna jump off the bridge,” Gavin said. He checked his parachute straps and made sure they were on nice and tight before he collapsed his sniper rifle and put it in his bag. He inched to the edge of the train car just as the first car exited the tunnel.

“Huh?!” Geoff squeaked. “To where?!” He could see in his mind’s eye all of their bodies broken and bloodied on the ground. Jumping off of things never ended well. He had not escaped to bash his head on a rock and die!

“Oh no!” Ray shouted. The tank hit a cop car and a section of track at just the wrong angle. Ray felt his seat tip backward and felt the tank start to roll. He slammed on the accelerator to prevent it when something hit him from behind. The tank tipped back on all fours, flattened the police car and kept going. Ray let out the breath he had been holding. The last thing he wanted to do was flip over in the tank. He’d be dead for sure.

Gavin’s train car sped out of the tunnel and he could see the bridge and the river below. A small light showed where the boat was. If he timed his jump right, he could jump head first from the train, pull his chute and land safely. It was so easy!

Ryan could just make out the silhouette of Gavin above him. He gripped the steering wheel nervously, remembering all of the times that Gavin’s parachute skills had been subpar. Still, he had to remain hopeful.

“Alright do it,” Ryan yelled. “Gavin…I’m ready, do it!”

Gavin took a deep breath and yelled “Incoming!” before taking a running leap off of the side of the train car.

He misjudged the leap.

Gavin cleared the train, but he did not clear the edge of the bridge. In fact, he slammed face first into the edge and felt his nose take the brunt of the fall and break. The rest of his body was still coming, despite the fact that his head had stopped. He hit his face hard and bounced, flipping head over heels off of the bridge and tumbling face first down toward the ground.  


“Gavin, no!” Ryan shouted as he saw him flailing and falling. “Gavin!”

Gavin’s hand closed on the ripcord one second before he hit the water.

“Gavin!” Ryan yelled as Gavin’s GPS indicated disappeared from the map.

“We lost Gavin?!” Michael said as he screeched to a stop on the tracks by the bridge. He flung himself out of the car and scrambled onto the edge peering down. He couldn’t see much other than the lights on the boat.

“Gavin didn’t pull his chute!” Ryan sputtered.

“Gavin, you fool!” Michael yelled. They had been doing so well. Maybe he was hurt but alive. “Do you see him Ryan?”

Ryan moved the boat forward and whipped out his flashlight, scanning the water carefully, He only saw rocks and ripples—wait, there! To the left on the shore.

“I see him!” Ryan yelled, dropping the flashlight. He guided the boat towards Gavin’s floating lifeless form and hauled him up in the boat. Gavin’s nose was sloppily broken and his head was split open and bleeding at the top, but he was breathing. If they could get away, he might make it.

“I got him!” Ryan announced. “Get to the boat!”

Geoff, having strapped on the parachute Michael had provided him, peered nervously over the edge. “Do we gotta go Michael?” he asked, hoping this wasn’t really the plan. Hadn’t they realized crazy stunts like this got them killed? Hadn’t that just happened to Gavin?

“Yeah we gotta do it. Let’s go!” Michael replied.

Geoff hesitated for a moment until a police car came careening out of the tunnel and slammed into the limo. The cops were back on them!

“Geoff, go!” shouted Michael and Ryan at the same time.

Geoff didn’t need telling twice. He leaped off the bridge face first as Gavin had done. Unlike Gavin, he didn’t hit anything and he popped his chute the second he left the ground. He jerked to a stop and felt himself drift. Michael drifted just behind him, having jumped a second after Geoff. Ryan moved the boat farther away to give them a better target while strapping Gavin into one of the seats so he wouldn’t fall out as they escaped.

“Alright, I popped my chute,” Geoff announced as he zoned in on the boat. “Please tell me Gavin’s ok!”

“He’s breathing but he needs help,” Ryan replied, watching the two parachutes come in close. “You got this Geoff!”

Geoff lifted his legs as he drew level with the boat and a second later his feet touched down on the edge. He stumbled forward, removed the parachute and fell over Gavin into the boat. The parachute drifted off to the side.

“I’m on the boat!” Geoff announced to the other as he scrambled to his feet.

“Wait or me, wait for me!” Michael said as he floated in right behind Geoff. He came in lower and hit the boat on his ass. He still managed to release the parachute and get it out of the way as he slid along the boat and fell into Gavin’s lap. “Let’s get the fuck out of here!”

“Wait, I’m coming!” Jack yelled. He had parked the chopper and was half running, half falling down the hill next to the bridge. He had seen Gavin fall and did not trust himself not meet a similar end, instead electing to pick his way down the rocky slope near the bridge. As he approached a particularly steep patch, he fell face first into a tree and snagged his shirt. “I hit a tree, I’m in a fucking tree!” he yelled, trying to pull loose. 

“We’re missing Jack and Ray,” Ryan said over Geoff and Michael’s pleas for escape. He would do his best not to leave them.

“I’m a little busy!” Ray said through gritted teeth as he rolled through the tunnel, every cop in the world seemingly up his ass. The tank was starting to wear a bit from the constant barrage of bullets but his pursuers were having a much tougher time on the track than he was.

Jack finally got free and continued his flight down the hill. He tried to veer left to take the safer path, but he was moving and sort of falling way too fast. He was very close to the ground now so if he jumped, he would make it. He put on a burst of speed and leaped off the small edge in front of him.

“AAAHHH WATER!” he yelled as he fell.

He did hit the water, but he hit the ground three inches below it. His head bounced off of a rock and the last anyone heard was a strangled yelled that broke off in a gurgle of water. Now Jack’s GPS blip vanished from Ryan’s readout.

“Oh no, Jack!” Ryan shouted. He reversed the boat quickly towards Jack’s body. Michael reached down this time and helped Ryan haul him into the boat and they strapped him in next to Gavin. Jack was more conscious, groaning slightly, but his and Gavin’s heads lolled crazily with the motion of the boat and they banged into each other. They needed help. Geoff used the last of the bandages in the boat’s first aid kit to stem Jack’s bleeding head as he had done for Gavin.

“Ray, we got one spot left in the boat!” Michael yelled. “Hurry up! Drive the tank into the water!”

“Hang on, I gotta get through the tunnel first!” Ray replied. He was near the end now and his parachute was on. He was ready to jump.

Geoff slumped down in his own seat head in his hands. “I can’t believe Gavin might die thinking I didn’t know his name!” Geoff wailed. “After he saved my ass! Jack I don’t care about but not Gavin!”

Jack groaned again and it sounded strangely like the phrase “fuck you.”

“Here comes Ray!” Ryan said with palpable relief as the tank exited the tunnel and pushed its way past, or rather under, Jack’s cargobob.

“’Scuse me!” Ray said as the chopper tumbled off the side and crashed to the ground. He braked, wheels squealing and pushed up on the tanks’ hatch, hauling himself out.

“Come on Ray!” Geoff shouted as Ray scrambled onto the side of the bridge.

Ray didn’t hesitate at all. He dove off of the side with a loud “Heeeeeeey!” and pulled his ripcord.

“Aim for the boat, aim for the boat!” Michael yelled as a sudden gust of wind pushed Ray off course. “Here he comes.”

“Looking good!” Ryan said as Ray sped in from the side.

Almost.

Ray lifted his legs to try to land in the boat like the others, but he was too low. Instead he hit the side of the boat and crashed into the water. Unlike Jack and Gavin however, he hit deep enough water and didn’t crash from a great height so he was unfazed, save for a very sore leg and chest from where he smacked into the boat. He slipped out of his parachute as it crumpled into the water and swam to the boat, hauling himself into the back past Jack and Gavin.

“Time to go!” Ryan said and he accelerated down the river.

“What now?” Geoff yelled over the sound of police helicopters and sirens that were suddenly aimed in their direction.

“Now we run!” Ryan replied.

“We just es-ca-pay,” Ray added, quoting Finding Nemo.

Michael was unloading weapons from the bags Ryan had stashed in the boat and handing them out to everyone.

“We gotta lose the police!” Michael said, lifting an SMG and aiming it towards the sky.

Geoff nodded. “I can’t go back there guys. If it comes down to it, someone’s gotta put a bullet in me. I can’t go back and I won’t give Burnie or Matt the satisfaction of killing me!”

Ryan swore and jerked the boat to the left. “There’s a police car in the water!” he said incredulously as they passed a mostly submerged cop car. Two police men were treading water near it and one actually fired as they sped past, causing Ryan to duck as the shot ricocheted off of the dash.

“We got two choppers on us!” Michael yelled, seconds before the water around them started to splash with the small rippled of missed shots from the impending choppers.

“Did I bring my tail into the boat?” Ray asked, looking back at their pursuers.

“You sure did!” Michael said as he unloaded into one of the choppers, grinning in satisfaction as it went down. “I mean we busted out Geoff, you think that’s not gonna be worth all this? He's the most wanted man in Los Santos now!”

Ryan could see the ocean ahead of them with relief. “All right we’re in open water!” he announced to the others. They could move faster now and lose their tail. 

“We’re close,” Michael said, dropping his empty gun and picking up another. “Take out these choppers we might be out of here.”

“International waters here we come!” Ryan said, cranking up the speed on the boat now that they were in deeper water. The sea was rough though, they bounced up high with every wave and crashed heavily back down. In second they were all soaked and Gavin and Jack’s bodies were flailing limply in a terrifying way.

Still for all their speed and for all the dead helicopters and boats they left in there wake, there was no relief in sight. The police were determined not to let their prisoner get away. The reputation of the entire police and prison system of Los Santos was on the line, they wouldn’t let it go that easily, not when criminals ruled Los Santos. The only thing keeping a tentative peace was the infallible lock-up. That couldn’t fail them now.

“Oh come on!” Ray said as he dropped and empty gun and scrambled for a new one.

“It’s uh, still back there huh?” Ryan asked nervously over the too close sound of helicopters.

“Yup, they’re still there,” Ray said.

“Taking out this chopper is proving difficult,” Michael added.

“It’s hard!” Geoff had a way with words.

Michael dropped his last gun and pulled out his rocket launcher. He had saved it for last but with the continual bouncing of the boat, there was no way he could aim. The seas was really churning now, but if they could slow down he could try to auto-lock. It might buy them time to navigate the rough water away from the police if they could just lose the helicopters.

“We need to slow down so we can aim our heavy weapons,” Michael yelled to Ryan.

“I love this plan,” Ryan said. “Except for the slowing down part.”

Geoff agreed. “I think we just need to drive like the wind!”

But there was no relief in sight and Ryan heard Geoff swear as he fired his last shot. Ray had his sniper rifle out and Michael had his rocket launcher, but they were too hard to aim in the moving boat. Ryan knew that they now had no choice.

“Ok new plan,” he said, cutting the engine. “I’m gonna stop and we defend the boat.”

“I like that plan,” Michael said.

“Yeah what’s the worst that could happen?” Ray asked.

“We all die,” Ryan answered. Geoff groaned but took the spare sniper rifle Ray offered him.

“Try not to kill each other,” Michael said, sounding panicky as they all rose to their feet in the small space. “Oh God, we’re gonna kill each other!”

Ryan got to his feet, stepped onto his seat and immediately a wave crashed into the boat and swept him into the water. “I fell out of the boat,” he yelled before he was swallowed by the sea. He managed to surface and fight the choppy waters back to the boat as the others yelled chaotically.

“Hang on where’s the chopper, I got one chopper!” Michael yelled, aiming at the closest chopper, which was right above them. The boat barely steadied for one second, but it was enough for him to lock on. “BOOM!” he yelled as he fired and the chopper exploded.

“Nice!” Ray yelled just as Ryan scrambled onto the nose of the boat and aimed his own rocket launcher. Bits of chopper rained down and—

WHAM!

“AHHHH!” yelled Ryan.

“OH NO!” Ray shouted.

“GEOFF!” Michael screamed.

The flaming body of the police helicopter slammed into the front of the boat, missing Ryan by inches. Ryan and Michael were flung out of the boat back into the water and swept away by the choppy waves. Ray managed to hang on as did Geoff but Michael yelled as he was carried away from them.

“It hit the boat! Geoff!” Michael cried desperately, terrified for his boss’s life.

They couldn’t fail. Not now! They had come so far! Michael swam as hard as he could back the boat and hauled himself up just as Geoff fired a sniper round at a police boat that had driven up. Michael screamed as the shot hit him in the vest and he crumpled to the bottom of the boat in agony.

“Oh no, I shot Ryan!” Geoff howled.

“You shot Michael!” Ryan snapped. “You still don’t know our names!”

Ryan had managed to get back too and was hastily trying to get his rocket launcher. He aimed it skyward and fired, surprised when a firework filed the sky. “I’m shooting fireworks!”

Geoff turned and felt something slam into his unprotected, already injured arm, blood spraying across his face and Ryan’s. He’d been shot. Geoff went down, falling into Gavin’s lap. He heard Ryan’s scream as he too was shot in the vest and Ray’s frantic shouts of “It’s just me! The Puerto Rican wins!” as everything started to fade.

Is this how it ends? Bleeding and dying on a boat in the middle of the chaotic seas, wind and the sea smattering across his face. He squinted up past the choppers at the stars and wispy clouds as his vision ebbed.

He was out, though. Geoff was breathing fresh air, his friends were with him, and he was out. He had broken his promise to Griffon and it broke his heart to think about Millie, but at the end of the day, he knew it was only a matter of time before the life of crime caught up with him. It was better to go out fighting like this with his crew. He could take solace in that if nothing else.

“I died a free man,” he muttered as his eyes closed and darkness took him.

It was over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How about that ending?


	31. ESCAPAY!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trebuchet, a cargobob, and the support Crew all waltz into a heist and pull of the greatest rescue ever. Of all time.

“PULL!”

Geoff opened his eyes and snapped back to full consciousness with a jolt as a loud mooing sound filled the air for a second time that night. Above him another cow streaked through the air and crashed into the police chopper above him. The chopper blades shredded the object into wet bits of debris that rained down on them. Geoff smelled blood on his face. The police chopper was smoking and it spiraled off course before crashing into the water. 

Geoff looked up, as did Michael and Ryan. A cargobob was soaring above them, staying with them as the gunner unloaded into the pursuing police boats. They had barely registered this when another larger boat carrying a trebuchet—a trebuchet?!—pulled alongside them, following their path.

“What the heck?” Geoff asked sitting up. As he did, something hit him in the back of his head hard and he swore, grabbing for it and examining it in the fading light. It was hook. Looking up, he saw the cargobob above him with a mounted machine gun and a face peering down at him.

“Jeremy?” Geoff asked incredulously.

“Everyone grab on!” Jeremy shouted, his voice in their ears over the headset.

“How—?” Ryan started to ask but another voice cut him off.

“We moved the trebuchet and stayed with you,” Lindsay said. “Did you really think we’d leave you on your own?”

“Fake AH Crew for life!” Kerry’s voice added.

Ray rolled his eyes. “Boo!”

“No time!” That was Matt. “Grab on, we’re getting you out.”

“Wait, we have wounded,” Ryan said. “Jack and Gavin are unconscious and—!”

Ryan broke off as he, Geoff, Michael, and Ray threw themselves flat on the boat to avoid a renewed spurt of gun fire from the police boats. In the distance they could see the light from three more inbound choppers. Just how many policemen was Los Santos willing to sacrifice?

“Hang on!” Jeremy yelled. He aimed the giant machine gun at the boat and fired without pause. The armor piercing round overwhelmed the boats and several dropped back while others caught fire from damage to their motors. The helicopters slowed their approach to try and remain out of Jeremy’s range, but it also meant they were not in range of the Crew.

“We have a window,” Jeremy said. “You guys need to get Gavin and Jack on that boat!”

“How?” Geoff asked.

“We could throw them on the boat,” Ryan suggested.

“Excuse me,” said a voice weakly in his ear.

Everyone jumped and turned to look at Jack who was getting unsteadily to his feet. He blinked through the dried blood on his face and looked kind of dazed. He took in the scene: the helicopter, the boat with the trebuchet (trebuchet?!) the sounds of sirens and the empty guns littering their own boat. “So we need to get on that boat?” he asked, peering at the boat speeding along directly next to them.

“Um…yes?” Geoff said, battling surprise and more than a little relief that Jack was on his feet.

“Done,” he said. He stumbled across the boat, hauled himself up the side and jumped before anyone could say another word.

“MOTHER FU-” Geoff yelled in fear, diving to catch Jack even though he knew he’d never reach him.

There was no need. Jack has put all of his remaining strength into that jump and he cleared the gap between boats...barely. He caught the side of the boat and hung on and maybe would have fallen if not for Lindsay, Ryan, and Michael’s quick thinking. Michael flung himself halfway off the boat to steady Jack while Lindsay grabbed his parachute straps and pulled. Ryan had Michael by the leg and kept him in the boat while he and Lindsay hauled Jack inside. Michael let go of Jack and his head and part of his torso were temporarily submerged and dragged long in the current until Ryan hauled him back in the boat.

“JACK, YOU IDIOT!” Geoff roared.

A thumbs up from the floor of the boat was the response.

“What about Gavin?” Kerry asked.

Michael and Ryan were already unbuckling him. Ryan, being the stronger of the three, grabbed Gavin by the wrists while Michael and Geoff each took an ankle.

“On three,” Ryan said and they started to swing Gavin’s limp body back and forth in the cramped space. With each swing they increased the momentum and force. “One...two...THREE!”

Geoff, Michael, and Ryan gave Gavin one last swing and released him. His body flew through the air in an oddly graceful arc of gangly flailing limbs and soared straight into the other boat. Lindsay looked up just in time to see Gavin coming at her and she dove screaming out of the way. 

Jack was not so lucky. The rest of the crew heard a bellow of pain as Gavin disappeared into the boat and landed right on top of Jack.

“We’ve got them!” Lindsay confirmed.

“Get them out of here!” Geoff ordered. “To a hospital or something but get out.”

“On it!” Lindsay and Kerry replied. Lindsay saluted with a grin and the boat pulled off, making a hard turn east and racing to what they all assumed was land.

“We have choppers flanking us!” Michael announced suddenly, much to everyone’s dismay. The helicopters that had been keeping their distance were now moving to either side of the cargobob, guessing correctly that they wouldn’t be able to maintain fire on both of them.

“We gotta go!” Jeremy said. “Grab on.”

“Geoff get up there and climb!” Ryan instructed shoving Geoff in front of him. Geoff grabbed the swinging rope and, injured arm protesting, began pulling himself up towards the chopper. Ryan signaled from Michael to go next before turning to Ray.

“You go, I’ll lead them off!” Ray said without turning around.

Ryan scowled. “Oh hell no, we are not doing this again.” Ryan grabbed Ray by the back of his hoodie and yanked him away from the steering wheel. Immediately the boat began to slow and the rope was jerked forward. “GRAB ON!” he yelled to Ray, who had no choice but to do as he was told. Ray had barely scrambled onto the rope when Matt lifted the chopper. Ryan felt his feet leave the boat, one ankle bumping the steering wheel. The boat spun and turned with the lack of driver, causing several police boats to crash into it, resulting in another chunk of wreckage. Ryan, unable to climb up the rope before liftoff, hung on to the hook itself as his feet dangled high above the ocean as they rose into the air.

“Pull us up, pull us up!” Michael shouted to Jeremy who was trying to reel the hook up, but it wouldn’t turn. It was jammed. This was not good. The helicopter on their unarmed flank was closing in and now the entire crew was hanging exposed for the helicopters. They had to take evasive maneuvers.

“Everyone hang on!” Jeremy yelled, taking back up his position as gunner.

“Oh don’t you do it!” Geoff yelled, realizing what was about to happen.

“Matt, serpentine!”

“Don’t you—AUGH!” Geoff broke off and screamed in tune with the rest of the Crew below him. Matt pushed the cargobob forward with a huge burst of speed and began turning in 90 degree angles to the left and right, weaving from side to side to escape the barrage of bullets from the now firing helicopters. He tried to give Jeremy a chance to shoot, but in doing so, Geoff and the others were flung side to side and spun around as the rope twisted and turned.

“I’m gonna puke!” Michael said.

“YOU BETTER NOT!” roared Ray and Ryan below him.

“I need a better angle!” Jeremy said. He was able to hold the choppers off, but couldn’t concentrate fire with the weaving. When the Crew was out of danger, it would be easier. “Guys, you gotta climb up!”

“I fucking hate you Jeremy!” Geoff shouted, but nonetheless he did as he was told. It was very slow going since he was swinging and whipping on the rope. Twice he nearly slipped off completely and dangled from one arm. He finally drew level with the helicopter’s floor.

“JEREMY!” he shouted over the machine gun. “I need a hand.”

Jeremy abandoned the gun and grabbed Geoff under the arms, hauling him inside as quickly as he could. The kid was pretty strong so it was easy. As soon as Geoff had his hands and one knee on the floor Jeremey returned to firing at the helicopter on his side. He had taken out one of the gunners, but not the pilot or the mounted gunner. The other helicopter thankfully did not have a mounted gun and the firing from it was patchy at best as it tried to keep on path with Matt’s serpentine flying.

Geoff levered himself up through the opening and collapsed, lying on the relatively solid floor of the cargobob for a moment in relief. He didn’t have time to dawdle though and he before turned back to the hole, peering down at his Crew. “Come on Michael!”

Michael was almost level with Geoff. As soon as his head popped up through the hole in the floor that contained the hook, Geoff reached down and hauled him up inside, though not as easily as Jeremy had given his twice injured arm. Once Michael was inside he took the other side of the opening as Ray climbed up.

“Almost there Ray!” Michael said, reaching for his friend.

At that moment, Jeremy hit something on the police helicopter that made it shudder and made the firing stop. He let out a whoop but it quickly turned into a yelp from both him and Matt. The police helicopter had taken a direct hit to its blades and one of them exploded. The helicopter tossed and turned and streaked through the air right towards them.

“Shit, shit, SHIIIIIIIIIIT!” Matt yelled, pulling hard to the left to dodge. At the same time, Ray had reached for Geoff and was only hanging on with one arm. The sudden jolt from the chopper wrenched him back and he lost his grip on the rope.

“RAY!” Geoff dove out of the helicopter for Ray’s outstretched hand and just managed to close on it. Michael flung himself on top of Geoff to keep them all in the chopper. Everyone, including Ryan, screamed in terror.

“OH DEAR GOD!” Ray yelled as he kicked and writhed as the open air and ocean below him.

“Hold still!” Geoff said as he and Michael both pulled. Ray did as he was told and with a quick tug from Jeremy felt himself lifting up into the chopper. The three of them collapsed in a heap as Matt straightened the cargobob and Jeremy resumed position.

“Sorry guys,” Matt called.

Ray threw his headset at Matt’s head.

“Coming around,” Matt announced. “Focus fire on the last one. We’re gonna do this!”

Jeremy resumed position and the others turned to look down the hole at Ryan who looked back up at them in terror as he swung, unable to climb the rope.

“DO SOMETHING!” he shouted. He really did not want to die like this.

“The rope,” Geoff said. “We’ll pull him up with the rope!” They probably should have thought of that earlier, but oh well. Geoff grabbed the rope. “Michael, you’re stronger, get in front of me. Ray get behind me. On three we start to pull. Together we’ll get him in.” Ray and Michael each grabbed the rope. “Hang on Ryan!” Geoff shouted. “One, two, three…PULL!”

They pulled with all of their strength and the rope lifted, Ryan lifting with it. It wasn’t, much but it was a start. “PULL!” Geoff said again. They all pulled again and Ryan lifted some more.

“I can’t hang on much longer,” Ryan said fearfully. “And I may be getting shot.”

“PULL!” Geoff said again. “Pull…pull…pull!”

With each pull they lifted Ryan little by little. They were over halfway there when the machine gun in the cargobob clicked suddenly and began to unwind. They were out of ammo. The police helicopter had been able to dodge around them by zooming in close and staying on the opposite side from Jeremy.

“Uh oh!”

“PULL!” Geoff yelled. “PULL!” Jeremy leaped forward and grabbed hold, helping the others who began reeling Ryan in like a fish thanks to Jeremy’s added strength. Ryan’s head popped up through the floor and Michael and Geoff grabbed him by the elbows and hauled him inside just as the chopper opened fire. They others dove away from the open sides, squatting practically on top of each other behind the few feet of wall.

“Matt get away from him!” Jeremy ordered as bullets pinged around them

“They’re too fast!” Matt said through clenched teeth. “The cargobob has taken a lot of damage, I don’t know how much more it can take.”

Jeremy swore.

Slumped against the walls of the cargobob with bullets flying around them, Geoff, Michael, Ray, and Ryan exchanged looks. They were out of ammo, almost out of cargobob, and out of speed. There was nothing left. They could all see it in their mind’s eye: eventually the onslaught of bullets from the police helicopter would prove too much for the cargobob and it would crash. They may escape it, sure, but they’d be in the water. Kerry and Lindsay may come back for them, but by that point more police reinforcements would be on them and they be in another firefight for their lives. It was never going to end was it?

Geoff sighed heavily. “It’s never going to end, is it?”

“No,” Ray answered after a no one else spoke. “Not while we’re under the Syndicate’s thumb. It will always be one fight to the next, living job to job and day to day, That’s no way to live.”

“But what choice did we have?” Michael asked. “We signed up for this. We knew.”

“Did we?” Geoff asked. “Or did we fall into it because that was what was expected?”

No one had an answer for that.

“We’re gonna die up here,” Ray said. “And the others will be killed off by Burnie because we failed. Fuck.”

Ryan had been silent until now, but he removed his face mask and reached into his jacket. “The least we can do is give ourselves a grand send off.” He pulled out the last remaining “weapon” that he had and offered it to Geoff.

It was a flare gun. A green flare gun. Achievement Hunter green, to be exact. Geoff would laugh if he didn’t know that this was going to be there way of saying goodbye. He refused to think of Griffon and Millie and of everyone the Crew was leaving behind.

“Make ‘em remember us, Boss,” Ryan said quietly. Geoff looked at the others and they all nodded resignedly.

Geoff sat up and crouched by the opening in the side of the cargobob. He waited as the gunner in the police helicopter paused to reload and he shifted position, framed by the cargobob as he aimed for the sky. The others moved until they were beside him and Ray shouted “Let’s play!”

Geoff fired. He wasn’t aiming for the chopper, he was just filling the sky with green. The boys yelled and cheered around him as the police helicopter took up a firing position, determined to go out yelling their heads off in defiance. Bright green flares filled the sky, stark against the blackness and visible for miles. They shouted for all they were worth as Geoff fired and fired. He was running out of shots quickly, but it didn’t matter. The helicopter opened fire and Matt swerved the cargobob instinctively just as Geoff went to fire his last shot. He was thrown off balance and the flare went straight instead of up in the air.

The flare raced towards the police helicopter, which made no effort to avoid it since they did not expect it. In one of those perfect moments, the universe aligned and the flare zoomed at an angle into the open side of the police helicopter, ricocheted into the cockpit, and exploded in a shower of green sparks.

They all heard the horrible, painful scream of the pilot as his clothes and seat ignited. The police helicopter spun around as the pilot shrieked and abandoned the controls. The gunner was dumped out of the side as the chopper went out of control. The pilot was frantically trying to put himself out and was stumbling through the cockpit to the back of chopper, still screaming before he too was thrown out of it from the spinning. Both men crashed into the sea below and the police helicopter went down right after them, meeting its end in an explosion of seawater and green fire.

It was dead silent in the cargobob. Geoff and the others had stopped cheering and were frozen with hands in the air and, in Geoff’s case, flare gun still poised. They watched as the gunner and pilot fell and then as the helicopter crashed and they continued to stare as the cargobob headed further out to sea, their mouths all hanging open.

After a minute, Geoff slowly lowered the flare gun and looked at it incredulously, as did the others. 

“Did you just—?” Ryan asked, but broke off still in disbelief.

They all looked up at each other in utter bewilderment before looking back out of the cargobob. There was no pursuit, no police, just them and clear path.

“Guys,” Geoff said. “I think…uh….” He shook his head. “I think we may just have escaped.”

They all looked at each other again and then Ray raised his hands and gave a very unenthusiastic, still bewildered, “yay.”

That did it.

“YES!” Michael screamed and the entire Crew erupted into cheers. “YES YES YEEEEEEEES!”

“We did it!” Jeremy shouted as Matt whooped and yelled behind him.

“The Puerto Rican wins. YAY!” Ray shouted again.

Ryan was laughing uncontrollably sounding more than a little insane.

The celebration continued with a lot of high fives and manly hugs. As the skies remained clear, Matt finally got ahold of himself long enough to start heading towards land and Ryan took charge.

“Get Lindsay or Kerry on the phone,” he instructed Jeremy. “We’ll rendezvous with them and find out how Jack and Michael are doing. “Once we do that, we’ll let Burnie know what’s happened. With any luck we’ll be fine, but who knows. Geoff?”

“Yeah Ryan?”

Ryan tossed him his cell phone. “Call Griffon and tell her we’re bring you home.”

Geoff grinned. “You guys, you are the best friends a crime boss could have.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It wouldn’t be the finale if there wasn’t another impossible aerial rescue. We have reached the end folks! A brief epilogue is next and that will conclude Welcome to the Heist.


	32. The Best Gang in Los Santos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that they’ve come so far, what is next for our beloved Achievement Hunters? Will Matt allow them back into the fold? Are Gavin and Jack ok? Why is Matt Hullum such a dick? Let’s find out!

_FIRST BREACH AT LOS SANTOS PENITENTIARY. SUSPECTS STILL AT LARGE. ___

Matt sighed and tossed the paper across his desk. He removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose tiredly. The Crew had done the impossible. He never would have believed it. Not only that, but they had completely and utterly neutralized Burnie in the process AND had given them enough evidence to pin the whole thing on Simeon and his rival organization. Already several gang outfits and less than reputable businesses were chomping at the bit to join the Syndicate. With them came business ventures and cash flow beyond their wildest dreams. They may have enough money to finance that movie Burnie had been talking about… 

But there were downsides. They had defied an execution order which would lessen his commanding presence. They had not yet succeeded at any of their large-scale heists and had basically spat in the face of the Syndicate. Yes, Matt was relieved he didn’t have to kill Geoff, the man had been a friend, but now he was faced with a much larger problem. 

The Crew had defied him. That could not stand, not in this business. 

The door to his office opened and Matt didn’t bother looking up as the visitor stopped at his desk. 

“The Crew did well,” Burnie said, half statement, half question. 

Matt said nothing. 

“It seems you were right,” Burnie continued. “They will rally behind Geoff. If we give them a reason to fight they will be formidable.” 

Mat looked up at his second. “A reason?” Burnie frowned, not like the sudden gleam in Matt’s eyes. 

"They did well,” Matt agreed standing up suddenly and turning to look out of the window behind him into the fading sunlight. “They did well, but they defied us. I cannot take that lightly or our power may be compromised. They have crossed the line one too many times. A lesson must be taught.” 

Burnie shifted uneasily though he kept his face neutral. “What do you want?" 

Matt tapped the glass twice in thought. “Blood,” he said finally turning to Burnie. “One of them has to bleed and I think you know who it is.” 

Burnie frowned for a minute thinking, recalling the past few months and trying to think of who Matt could possibly want to off. Then it hit him, a swift punch to his conscious as Burnie recalled Matt’s words from just a month previously. 

_So we wait. We may have to put him into a compromising position instead of executing him. But he will pay. That is for sure. ___

“You can’t,” Burnie blurted out and Matt turned to look at him mildly. “I mean...you said it yourself. Killing him will give the Crew strength they never knew they had.” 

__“That was true then,” Matt said. “But they have just pulled off the impossible. For them, the hammer has fallen and they came out safe on the other side. Killing one of their own now, particularly if we make it look like an accident, will ground them without causing them to look inwardly for a cause. Then it will tear them apart.” Matt’s lips twitched in a slight snarl. “And the boy has to pay for his insolence and resistance.”_ _

__“So you think because you are no longer threatening them with execution, they won’t look at you when they lose one of their own,” Burnie asked exasperatedly. “That will never work!”_ _

__Matt laughed. “What makes you think I would not have an plan?” he said coldly._ _

__Burnie’s gaped at Matt. “I won’t help you with this Matt. I can’t let you do this.”_ _

__“Like you have a choice,” Matt replied casually._ _

__“You know what will happen if I fight you,” Burnie replied. “You know what the rest of the company will do.”_ _

__Matt sighed. “I know.” he shook his head and looked back at the window, hands behind his back as he thought. “Oh, by the way Burnie, how’s Ashley these days? Does she enjoy her work on the Know?”_ _

__Burnie’s insides froze._ _

__Matt smiled even though Burnie couldn’t see him. He had him. Burnie didn’t have to help him, Matt could do it without him, but he couldn’t afford to have the man openly against him. He hated to drag families and significant others into this, but he had come too far with the Syndicate to allow a two-bit gang of nerds defy him and risk what he had built. He had shelved his compassion a long time ago._ _

__“I think I may need to have a chat with Kerry,” Matt said to Burnie, resuming his seat at the desk._ _

__*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*_ _

_The morning of April 1st brought chaos to the streets of Los Santos as, for the first time ever, a fugitive made his escape from the Los Santos Penitentiary. ___

_Geoffrey Ramsey, famed Youtube personality and alleged leader of the Fake AH Crew gang outfit, escaped early Monday morning from prison where he was awaiting sentence for grand larceny, armed robbery, and multiple counts of accessory to murder and first degree murder. Ramsey is believed to have been aided by his fellow gang members, the identities of which have never been confirmed by police, though have long been suspected to be his fellow Achievement Hunter employees: Jack Pattillo, Gavin Free, Michael Jones, Ray Narvaez Jr., and James Haywood. ___

_The gang outfit has long been labeled a minor threat by Los Santos Police, however they managed to successfully free Ramsey in what most are calling “the crime of the century.” A manhunt has been ongoing for the last week since Ramsey’s escape with no expense being spared by the city of Los Santos. Despite their efforts, the whereabouts of Ramsey and the Fake AH Crew are currently unknown. Rooster Teeth CEO Matt Hullum declined to comment on the record, but indicated that he was not aware of Ramsey’s criminal ties and that he had no idea where his Rooster Teeth co-founder could be hiding. Hullum has long been accused of using the media company Rooster Teeth as a front for his own illegal activities, though these allegations are unfounded. Meanwhile, Ramsey— ___

_____“Still reading that article?” Jack asked, walking into Geoff’s office._ _ _ _ _

_____“Still trying to believe that it’s real,” Geoff said. “Have you seen the stories? They are calling it the crime of the century! Reporters and editorial writers and cops who had laughed at us are calling us the greatest gang in history. Burnie has even said that Simeon and his crew want in on the Syndicate.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Is Matt considering the offer?”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Fuck no. Simeon is a dick.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Jack leaned back in his chair and smiled. “Good.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Shortly after Matt brought them to a safe landing that day on the beach a week ago, they had been met by Lindsay, Kerry, and a patched up Gavin and Jack. Jack seemed little the worse for wear but Gavin had taken a hit. He still grinned up at them and joined in the boisterous cheering that had taken place…that is until he got dizzy from his wounds and passed out. They moved to the abandoned warehouse and sent the tape Gavin had shot and a hastily thrown together cell phone video of them to Burnie, proving that they had all escaped. Burnie had shown it all to Matt Hullum and Matt had allowed them to return to the Syndicate full force without the hammer of fear that had ruled them for the past year. They resumed their lives after a few days in the hospital for most of them. Matt had even paid for it._ _ _ _ _

_____Now Geoff was back in the Achievement Hunter office, reading and re-reading the trails of newspapers articles that had followed their prison job._ _ _ _ _

_____“I just can’t believe it,” Geoff said to Jack, rubbing his head. “You guys actually pulled together and got me out. After all the chaos and betrayal and insanity, you all united and pulled it off. You didn’t even need me.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Rubbish,” said Gavin entering the room with Michael and Ray. “We did need you, Geoff!”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Yup,” Ray said. “You kept pointing out that we could be awesome if we would pull our heads out of our asses.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“It just took you getting gang raped in jail to make us do it!” Michael said cheerfully._ _ _ _ _

_____“I hate you guys,” Geoff said with a glare as memories of Big Dong raced into his mind._ _ _ _ _

_____“No you don’t,” Ryan said, entering the room with a newspaper. “Or at least, you won’t when you read this.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Geoff took the paper from Ryan and read the headline. “Local Car Salesman indicted on robbery, murder charges. Ramsey acquitted.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Geoff looked up at Ryan in confusion. “How—?”_ _ _ _ _

_____Ryan grinned evilly. “I may have planted some evidence in various vehicles owned by Simeon during our last few jobs. Also Burnie and Matt may have paid off a few prosecutors and a judge or two to get you off while keeping you out of court. You and the rest of us are in the clear.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Ryan the mad genius guy!” Michael said, jumping up and giving the older man a high five._ _ _ _ _

_____“Still a lunatic,” Gavin said._ _ _ _ _

_____“It’s my thing,” Ryan admitted with a shrug._ _ _ _ _

_____“Ryan’s a lunatic, Gavin’s an idiot, Michael’s a violent psychopath, Jack’s…well Jack, and I’m the noble self-sacrificing hero,” Ray summarized._ _ _ _ _

_____“You mean bait,” Michael corrected Ray with a grin._ _ _ _ _

_____“God, we’re a bunch of assholes,” Jack said, shaking his head._ _ _ _ _

_____Geoff looked around at his gang, at his friends, and he couldn’t help but think that maybe all the headaches were worth it. They were idiots to be sure, but they were his idiots and he wouldn’t trade them. They had a long way to go but for the first time in a long time things were looking up. If the big jobs had done anything, they had brought them closer together and shown them what they were capable of. Maybe it had been worth it…mostly._ _ _ _ _

_____“Hey we may be a bunch of assholes,” Geoff said cheerfully. “But we’re each other’s assholes!”_ _ _ _ _

_____Everyone looked at him for a moment thinking about his words and their latest adventures. Then Ryan said what everyone else was thinking._ _ _ _ _

_____“I don’t want to be anyone’s asshole!”_ _ _ _ _

_____The others laughed hysterically and Geoff buried his face in his hands. Nope. Still the same bunch of idiots_ _ _ _ _

_____“Ugh, let’s stop,” he muttered._ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end! I have had a lot of fun writing this and playing around with the AH guys as characters. Thank you so much for reading, I hope you all enjoyed it. A very special thank you to those who commented and left kudos—the feedback is always welcome!
> 
> Don’t forget: the story of the Rooster Teeth Syndicate will continue, featuring Lindsay’s heist, Jeremy’s Heist, the Trojan Bar heist and more. We’ll see the Crew face some old and new enemies with the help of some old and new friends and be pushed to the edge of their sanity like never before. The next story, Things to Do, will start on November 15th.


End file.
